Hollow Hills Presents: Raining Cats and Dogs

 

Raining Cats and Dogs is a collection of fantasy short stories and poetry that feature an animal as a main character. Stories may be dark and full of strife but a happy ending is always in sight! Lovers of pets or animals in general will enjoy these fantasy tales.

All proceeds for this anthology will benefit Good Old Tails Senior Animal Rescue based in Hanover, PA, USA. This non-profit helps save the lives of older pets by finding them homes.

"Tales of the Siblings Not-So-Grim" from Hollow Hills

BOOK TITLE: Tales of the Siblings Not-So-Grim

AUTHORS: Aurora Styles, Marie Krepps, David Quesenberry, Jennifer Quail, Larry Fort, and Jacob Mahurien

YEAR: 2019

GENRE: Fictional Short Stories and Poetry

SUBGENRE: Sci-Fi/Fantasy Anthology

GRADE: Pass

Choosing favorite stories and poems from this anthology wasn’t an easy task. Everybody who was fortunate enough to be published in this book deserved to be there. There’s no such thing as choosing a least favorite, because that option doesn’t exist. Sure, there are a few noticeable typos here and there such as misplaced quotation marks and paragraphs without indentations, but it’s not enough to keep this reading experience from being enjoyable. And yes, your heart will break many times even though the title has the words “not-so-grim” at the end, but it’s a welcome heartbreak that’s a sign of well-written literature. I encourage all of my fantasy-loving audience members to buy a copy and read it from cover to cover. It’s a decision you can’t regret no matter how stubborn you might be.

While choosing favorites from this collection wasn’t easy, it could be done. One of them is Larry Fort’s contribution, a science fiction short story called “Eigenlicht”. One of the protagonists, a punk rock intellectual named Stephen Langer, resonated with me more than any other character. He rebels against society without fully contemplating the consequences of his actions. He feels with some justice that he’s disenfranchised from his peers and that he’ll never earn the respect he desires. The more he listens to the schizophrenic demons in his head, the more he becomes seduced by his darker urges. Ouroboros, the dark matter being that transcends space and time, is the one planting these ideas in his head. Will Stephen snap out of it long enough to see the good in the world again? That’s a question that can only be answered by reading through this beautifully-written piece of prose. You don’t even have to agree with Stephen all the time to relate to him in some way. That is the nature of flawed three-dimensional characters, after all.

Yet another favorite story in this anthology is Marie Krepps’ contribution entitled “The Blacksmith’s Quest”. When you see Blacksmith and Mara take on the world together, you’ll root for them to finally make their relationship official. It’s a slow burn with many ups and downs. Blacksmith can’t forgive himself for his violent rage when he’s protecting others. Mara can’t forgive herself for not seeing through her former master’s lies. There’s a vast difference between two characters completing each other and complimenting each other. Completing each other means becoming codependent. But that’s not how Blacksmith and Mara’s friendship works. Though vastly different in skill sets, they see each other as equals. They save each other’s lives not just physically, but also emotionally. They can do all of this while finding their own places in the world. This is what a healthy, strong relationship looks like. Will it become official? We can only hope and pray. And when you do pray for this to happen, make sure the villainous Priest isn’t holding a knife to your back. Seriously, that guy is worse than a Catholic pedophile.

If you’re looking for something awesome and imaginative to read, look no further than Tales of the Siblings Not-So-Grim. Hollow Hills, the book’s parent company, is notorious for pumping out lovable pieces of fiction. The CEO’s know exactly what they want in their characters and won’t settle for anything less than three-dimensional people. We’re all human beings with our own flaws, strengths, interests, and opinions. Then again, so are the characters in this book and every other Hollow Hills book out there. A passing grade will go to this collection! Hooray!

Emilio & Marigold Suspended

***EMILIO & MARIGOLD SUSPENDED***

The deadline for submitting final drafts to Hollow Hills’s anthology “The Tales of the Siblings Not-So-Grim” is today, August 31, 2019. I’m sorry to say that Emilio & Marigold will not be able to make that deadline. Even after all of the rounds of editing it has been through, it’s still not ready by final draft standards. The characters are still two-dimensional, the world isn’t descriptive enough, and the prologue I wrote for the story to increase the word count is a rough draft in and of itself.

Marie Krepps, one of the CEO’s for Hollow Hills, assured me that everything will be okay since she’s already in talks with Aurora Styles about next year’s anthology, which will be animal-themed. Even with Marie’s comfort, I still feel like I let a lot of people and myself down. I’ve never missed a deadline before today. I was always a good college student who turned in my assignments on time without asking for an extension. Must be the Impostor Syndrome creeping up on me again.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Emilio & Marigold, it’s a Jack and the Beanstalk parody that stars my former kitty Emilio instead of a young boy. Emilio passed away back in June due to renal failure and I wanted to dedicate my story to his memory. Looks like his dedication will have to wait a little longer. Remember, this project is suspended, not scrapped. Suspensions are temporary and can be lifted anytime I damn well please. Emilio & Marigold will see the light of day, just not today.

So the question now becomes, where do I go from here? Do I continue to send Emilio & Marigold to paid beta readers? Do I start thinking about editing Beautiful Monster instead? Do I keep pumping out short stories for Poison Tongue Tales 3 and American Darkness 3? Is there another story that’s on my mind? I need some way of keeping my writing sharp until Emilio’s day in the sun comes.

Luckily, I’ve found just the Good Reads group for doing that. In addition to writing short stories and poetry for the WSS, I’m also part of a group called Character Therapy, a role-playing game where characters go through, you guessed it, psychological therapy. Any guesses as to which character I chose? Any pointy-eared, green-skinned elves come to mind? Hmm…

Character Therapy allows players to create more than one character, including therapists themselves. World? Meet Jerry Frost, an art therapist with an extreme case of Impostor Syndrome and a strong passion for creative development. Will Jerry become a permanent character of mine to be used in other stories? If I develop him far enough, he very well could be. He can’t be any more confusing than Tristan Jealous, whom I’ve written a poem about back in 2018.

So here I am, a man without a country, a ship without a rudder, wondering what’s next on my agenda. I suppose I could keep pumping out micro fiction. That’s basically what chapters of a new novel would be since they meet my 1,500 word quota. I know I should be more worried about editing the first drafts I already have instead of pumping out new ones, but keeping my writing sharp is essential to my success as an author.

I haven’t always been this zealous when it comes to my writing, though. The past three days in particular have been the worst mental slog I’ve been through in recent memory. Normally when I’m going through a slog, I can at least concentrate long enough on other forms of reading and writing, like answering Face Book questions or writing two-sentence horror stories. I couldn’t even concentrate for those things. That’s how fucked up things got. This mental slog happened just as I was getting prepared to put together the final Emilio & Marigold manuscript, which wouldn’t have been accepted anyways, but it still would have been nice to get that done.

The point of this journal is to let you all know that this isn’t the end of Emilio & Marigold. It’s merely a roadblock on the way to my final goal. Emilio will be remembered. He will purr at me from beyond the Rainbow Bridge. My love bug will be immortalized one way or another. He really was a love bug. He head butted me, climbed up on my lap, slept on my chest, and purred in my ear. Just talking about him like this makes me miss him even more. Gone, but not forgotten. I’m Garrison Kelly! Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight!

***TELEVISION QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“God creates all men equal, but once they’re out of the womb, he starts playing favorites.”

-Vic Mackey from “The Shield”-

***POST-SCRIPT***

As long as I’m talking about releasing micro fiction to the public for free, here’s the next short story on my agenda. It’s called “Balls to the Wall” and it goes like this:

CHARACTERS:

1.      Shane Herman, Game Show Contestant

2.      Ambrose Kaider, Corpulent Space Mercenary

3.      Georgia Cushing, Shane’s Girlfriend

4.      Morgan Burch, Game Show Host

SYNOPSIS: Shane is competing on an obstacle course game show called “Balls to the Wall” and due to his lack of athleticism, he’s failing horribly. He’s ready to throw in the towel when Morgan introduces a new twist to this game: Ambrose is holding Georgia hostage behind one of the obstacles. If Shane doesn’t man up and complete the challenge, Ambrose will take his plasma rifle and blow Georgia’s head off. Questioning the legality of all of this is not an option since Shane signed a Hold Harmless agreement prior to the taping of the episode.

Double Dare, eat your heart out! Suck it, American Gladiators! Eat a big one, Finders Keepers! Okay, you get it by now.

"Siren Slave" by Aurora Styles

BOOK TITLE: Siren Slave

AUTHOR: Aurora Styles

YEAR: 2014

GENRE: Fiction

SUBGENRE: Erotic Fantasy

GRADE: Pass

Princess Freya masquerades as a loyalist of Roman culture while simultaneously feeding their military secrets to a band of pirate rebels led by Siegfried the Fox, whom she has a massive crush on. She also discovers herself to be a fey creature with magical powers that will help her in her quest. But without full knowledge of how to use those powers, she succumbs to kidnapping at the hands of druid assassins and needs to be rescued by Siegfried. Soon after, the two of them form a master/slave relationship that angers every close-minded conformist who can’t understand BDSM culture. Even Siegfried has doubts from time to time, but he’s determined to do everything in his power to make this relationship work. Freya is determined as well; it was her idea, after all.

Because this book falls under the erotica section, there’s an obligation to deliver when it comes to sexy scenes. While I won’t say exactly what these scenes entail, I will tell you that your wildest fantasies will come true whether you’re living vicariously through Siegfried or Freya. And the best part of their relationship? Despite being a master/slave dynamic, it’s actually healthier than most “normal” relationships out there. They both want this. They both hunger for this. They’re perfect for each other, which is more than I’ll ever say about the Christian Greys and Anastasia Steeles of the erotica genre. The sex can seem a little rough at times, but it’s rough in a good way and not in an uncomfortably cringey way. Aurora Styles knows her stuff!

You know what else she knows all about? Creating a likeable protagonist in the form of Freya. Her knack for puns, alliteration, and snappy one-liners make her dialogue a joy to read. She’s not quirky for the sake of being quirky; her humor is authentic. Any man would be lucky to have her company, let alone Siegfried the Fox. But if you think sober Freya is a lot of fun to be around, try getting her drunk on blueberry ale or white wine. Or better yet, give her one of Hedwig’s not-so-carefully concocted potions. Yes, Freya is clumsy and silly, but those flaws don’t detract from her being a likeable character. As a writer myself, I envy Aurora Styles’s ability to pull that off.

Last thing I want to touch on is the creatively-woven fantasy elements this story has. Freya discovers her ability to turn into a dragon/swan/mermaid and that alone is impressive. She’s also nifty with a trident and she can manipulate blood. These abilities don’t make her a Mary-Sue, though, because she’s just as vulnerable as any other character in the story. Plus, she struggles to master these powers completely, especially when each villain is more difficult to fight than the last. But not to worry, because Hedwig the Sea Witch has her potions and seductive magic, Siegfried has his stag transformation and magical panpipes, Hecate and Balor have their own demonic powers, and Woden…well, he’s just a muscle-bound stud with a massive spear and no need to wear anything but a loincloth in freezing weather. All of these characters round each other out with their powers and their unique personalities.

While there are some typos scattered here and there and the mythology is hard to keep track of at times, Siren Slave was an enjoyable read from start to finish. It’s a thick book with long chapters, but they go by so fast because of how easy it is to get lost in the action, violent, dramatic, and sexual. Aurora Styles will get a passing grade for her efforts. This book definitely took a lot of hard work and she should be rewarded for that. Congratulations on the four out of five stars! Don’t let the haters get you down!

Impostor Syndrome

***IMPOSTOR SYNDROME VS. ARROGANCE***

Last year when Hollow Hills put together the Still Standing anti-bullying anthology, Aurora Styles wrote a blog entry joking about how that book should be known as “The Curse of the Self-Loathing Authors”, or something to that effect. It was true. There was something about writing that book that made the authors, myself included, feel unsatisfied, like they have Impostor Syndrome. While it’s nice to be humble throughout your writing journeys, you have to believe in yourself at least a little bit in order to get shit done.

I must confess that I’ve struggled with Impostor Syndrome since I began writing and editing Emilio & Marigold for this year’s Hollow Hills anthology. I held such a negative opinion of my own writing that I actually started having anxious thoughts about potentially being fired from Hollow Hills. Of course, it would take more than writing a mediocre story for that to happen, but anxiety is anxiety and it doesn’t give any quarter. I’m not looking for sympathy nor am I fishing for compliments. I’ve dealt with the beast of Impostor Syndrome before and I can deal with it again. Beside, the anxious thoughts about a potential firing went away after twenty-four hours. That’s it.

It seems as though I’ve spent a good while trying to find a balance between Impostor Syndrome (extreme self-doubt) and arrogance (unjustified self-esteem). The middle passage is somewhere out there. I’ve got to find it. Just like I’ve got to find the middle passage between Mary-Sue characters and those whose flaws make them the most hated characters in my story. If you throw a pin into a gigantic pool of water, that’s where the middle passage is. Some authors have found it, others have not and their writing suffers because of it. Oh, there goes my Impostor Syndrome again!

In case you’ve ever felt like you were alone in this, know that you’re not. I don’t want to say that Impostor Syndrome is a necessary part of the creative process, because it’s not. Sure, you need to recognize your own flaws as an author and work on strengthening them. Sure, you need to take criticism gracefully and use it to build a strong foundation. But when your Impostor Syndrome is all-consuming, it can have some detrimental effects. I’m not saying I have the cure for what ails you, because I don’t. All I know is that some days you’ll feel like you can take on the world and other days you’ll feel like dog shit. Can you do anything about this? Can you have more high days than low ones? Hmm…

Not to let my Impostor Syndrome kick in again, but I really didn’t plan this blog entry through very well. I’ve got one page worth of text and I’m guessing it’s about five hundred words long, which is a thousand less than a novel chapter or short story usually is. Don’t worry, I don’t have my compliment fishing rod and tackle box out and I’m not a gold medalist in the Oppression Olympics. I’m just working through some things right now, that’s all.

You know what would work great for my Impostor Syndrome? Being able to rest my head on someone’s lap while they stroke my hair. It sounds perverted on the surface and that’s probably why my short story Schizophrenic Playboy wasn’t a smash hit anywhere that I posted it. But you know what? It doesn’t have to be perverted. It can be completely platonic. Gender wouldn’t even matter to me. Just resting my head on someone’s lap would feel nice right about now. I’ve been watching a lot of Cuddle Sanctuary videos lately, so that might be where I’m getting this from.

Do any of you struggle with Impostor Syndrome? I bet I’ll get a shit ton of yeses to this question, but I figured I’d ask anyways. What are some of your coping techniques? Do you just push through the days and hope that you’ve got more good days than bad ones? I’m Garrison Kelly! Even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain!

***BEAUTIFUL MONSTER***

In between edits of Emilio & Marigold, I’ve been quietly writing new chapters of Beautiful Monster and the next one will be number twenty-three. In this chapter, Windham, Llewellyn, and Tarja are taking shelter in a cave on the beach and they’re trying to figure out a plan to reclaim the Xavier Village from the Shadow Asylum mercenaries and Atwood Queendom soldiers. Three warriors versus an entire army? How is that even possible?!

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“Rape me. Rape me, my friend. Rape me. Rape me again. I’m not the only one. Hate me. Do it and do it again. Waste me. Rape me, my friend. I’m not the only one. My favorite inside source. I’ll kiss your open sores. I appreciate your concern. You’re going to stink and burn.”

-Nirvana singing “Rape Me”-

***POST-SCRIPT***

I feel that Nirvana’s anti-rape song will become a rallying cry for Windham Xavier throughout Beautiful Monster’s final five chapters. I’m strangely okay with that. It’s certainly more appropriate than “I’ll Be Over You” by Toto, which is what I’ve proposed for the first draft. The first draft…Millennium for emo kids…(shivers). Goddamn Impostor Syndrome!

Rolling the Dice

***ROLLING THE DICE***

Last night I had quite the wonderful conversation with one of the CEO’s of Hollow Hills, Aurora Styles. Round three of editing is rapidly approaching for Emilio and the Scratching Post, so the two of us agreed it would be a good time to talk about character profiles. I’m bold enough to admit that creating characters is something that I struggle with. Sometimes my characters are relatable and three-dimensional, other times they’re either despicable as hell (despite being heroes) or bland and boring. Aurora has been writing a long time and has character creation down to a science. That’s because she treats her TV and movie viewings as “study time”. She pinpoints flaws and traits in the TV characters she likes to watch and (either subconsciously or consciously) adds them to her own characters.

Unfortunately, I don’t put that much time and effort into my own character creation. I should. I know now I should. But up until this point, I’d been doing something I like to call “rolling the dice”. It’s actually called pantsing, which is the opposite of plotting. Everybody’s a hybrid of the two when it comes to writing, but for me personally, I would be a plotter for the events happening in the story and a pantser for character creation. My characters would be listed in my pre-writes as a name, a race, and an occupation. The main character of Beautiful Monster was listed as Windham Xavier, Elf Mercenary. His rapist was listed as Shelly Atwood, Human Seductress. With this incredibly limited information at my disposal, I would rely heavily on subconscious influences to flesh out these characters, much to their detriment.

Aurora said it best when she told me that the fiction we consume has the heaviest influence on our writing, whether subconsciously or consciously. This could not have been truer for Beautiful Monster, to use that example again. My biggest influences as a young writer included WWE, Pulp Fiction, Tales From the Hood, The Shield, Pink Floyd the Wall, and pretty much anything where the dialogue is snarky and vulgar. Well, those subconscious thoughts leaked into my characterizations of Windham and Shelly. They swore like no tomorrow. They got angry at little things, not unlike a WWE wrestler. The lengths that they would go to in being vulgar had no limits. The result? Having to completely rewrite the first draft from scratch. Windham and Shelly were hardly the only ones to act this way. Torger? You’re damn right. Tarja? Hell yeah. Orpheus Rinehart? Absolutely. There was no distinction between these characters’ dialogue. If I had quoted text with no names next to them, you’d never know who they were.

My critique sessions with Marie Krepps (the other CEO of Hollow Hills) led to a complete overhaul of my characters while my conversation with Aurora enforced and confirmed everything I should have learned. To use Beautiful Monster as an example again, Windham is soft-spoken and quiet-voiced even during moments of anger. Shelly is a lot more tempting and classy than she was in the first draft. Christian and Kody Savage don’t have any dialogue at all; they’re just a couple of drooling zombie rednecks.

For Emilio and the Scratching Post, the same thing is true: a complete overhaul of characters’ personalities. While I can’t divulge major plot points due to my confidentiality agreement with Hollow Hills, I am willing to give you some appetizers. In the first draft, Sweet Pea (Emilio’s master) was a little brat who disrespected her elders and got away with everything. Now, the newly christened Marigold is a lot more fearful of the villains in her life and that’s something she wants desperately to overcome. Antonia, Marigold’s grandmother, started off as a bland and boring screamer. Now, she’s still a villain, but her eerily calm demeanor makes her more believable. She’s creepy during her coldest moments and a joy to be around when she needs to lie to the public. In Antonia’s case, I stole her characterization from Abel, Trevor Noah’s abusive stepfather in his memoir “Born a Crime”. Yikes!

Of course, Emilio and the Scratching Post (which has the funny as hell acronym EatSP) has only entered round three of editing. There will be more changes. There will be more rounds. The macro and micro aspects will be fine-tuned. This will all be done before June 1^st, when Hollow Hills’s deadline for submissions comes to fruition. June 1^st is also two days before my 34^th birthday. Being a part of Hollow Hills’s anthologies will be the ultimate birthday gift for me. But before I can get to that milestone, I’ve got a lot of work to do…but not tonight. Tomorrow? Maybe. The next day? Could be. But not tonight. I’m physically drained after going for a long walk in the springtime heat. I need to be alert and alive if I’m going to make these macro edits to my manuscript. Until then, I’m Garrison Kelly! Even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain! Or in this case, the scratching post to Uncle Thud’s catnip garden! There’s another thing that needs changing: Uncle Thud’s characterization. We’ll cross that bridge when a new day rises. For now, it’s about taking it easy.

***BEAUTIFUL MONSTER***

In between edits of EatSP, I’ve been writing chapters of Beautiful Monster and I’m currently on chapter twenty, where Queen Llewellyn Xavier is scheduled to make her first appearance in my story. The economic hardships have not been kind to her village. Her crops are covered in blight, her citizens are disappearing left and right, and she still hasn’t negotiated a trade deal with King Lars Stonewall. She’s ready to throw in the towel after so many failures…until a familiar face returns to her village with a traumatizing story to tell…

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“Summertime and the living’s easy. And Bradley’s on the microphone with Ras MG. All the people in the dance will agree that we’re well qualified to represent the LBC. Me and Louie run to the party. Dance to the rhythm, it gets harder. Me and my girl, we’ve got this relationship. I love her so bad, but she treats me like shit. On lockdown like a penitentiary. She spreads her loving all over, but when she gets home, there’s none left for me. Oh, take this veil from off my eyes. My burning sun will someday rise. So what am I going to be doing for a while? Said I’m going to play with myself. Show them how we come off the shelf. So what? Evil. I’ve come to tell you that she’s evil. Most definitely. Evil. Ornery, scandalous, and evil. Most definitely. The tension is getting hotter. I’d like to hold her head underwater.”

-Sublime singing “Doin’ Time”-

Hollow Hills Presents: Tales of the Siblings Not-So-Grim

***HOLLOW HILLS PRESENTS: TALES OF THE SIBLINGS NOT-SO-GRIM***

Every year the fine folks at Hollow Hills Publishing put out a new anthology and 2019 is no different. Last year it was Still Standing, a collection of short stories with an anti-bullying theme. The story I submitted to that one was Savage Beatings, a prequel to a novel I’m currently rewriting called Beautiful Monster. Copies of Still Standing are still available (why wouldn’t they be?) and all proceeds will be donated to the Crisis Text Line. What are you waiting for? Wait, I know. You’re waiting for me to start talking about what Hollow Hills is doing in 2019. Of course, silly me!

Tales of the Siblings Not-So-Grim, unlike Still Standing, will be lighthearted in nature. Comedy and romance are welcome, but they’re not required. This will also be a collection of stories with a PG rating, so there’ll be no excessive swearing, erotica, or ultra-violence. As you can probably guess from the title, each story will be a fairytale of some kind, though it doesn’t have to be a parody of an existing Grim Brothers Fairytale. It can be completely original or a parody of something else.

Of course, anytime Hollow Hills puts out a collection of short stories, I’ll want to throw my name in the hat. Yeah, I’m normally known for stories with excessive ass-beatings and over-the-top craziness and anger. But just for this anthology, I’ll temper myself as I write “Emilio and the Scratching Post”. It’s a clear parody of Jack and the Beanstalk except instead of a beanstalk it’s a gigantic scratching post and instead of a boy named Jack it’ll be my elderly kitty Emilio. Immortalizing my pets through my stories and poems is kind of what I do. I’m sure old man Emilio would love his own story. Right, cuddle bear?

Stories submitted to this anthology must be between 8,000 and 13,000 words long. In order to meet my minimum requirements, Emilio and the Scratching Post will be five chapters long and every chapter will be at least 1,600 words long, which is one hundred more than I normally do. Easy-breezy-lemon-squeezy! It’s even easier considering Hollow Hills will start accepting submissions between April 1^st and June 1^st. I’d love to get my story done before the first due date, but I’ve got a lot of time between now and then. Like I said, it’ll be a piece of cake. Or in the case of Emilio, a piece of pizza pie!

I’m announcing this new project for a couple of reasons. One, I need something to snap my five day streak of mental sluggishness. I already drew a picture of a novel character named Animal, so this blog entry was naturally the next step. The other reason is because all of my other creative projects will take a back seat to this one. Beautiful Monster, Incelbordination, and any WSS contest entries I write will have to wait for Emilio to climb the magical scratching post to the giant’s fortress in the clouds. I don’t mind putting those other projects on hold, because having a singular focus is better for me than having a cluttered workload.

Speaking of chaotic workloads, tomorrow night I’m headed to Seattle to see Within Temptation perform at the Showbox SoDo. If the Soulfly concert before it was anything to go by, then my sore legs, feet, and back will come back to haunt me the next day and I’ll want to continue the five day streak of laziness. Actually, this concert shouldn’t be anywhere near as tiring because it probably won’t go past midnight and there are only two opening behinds before Within Temptation. Maybe if I’m lucky I can write the first chapter of Emilio and the Scratching Post before I go to the show. I’ve done that before. I wrote chapter fifteen of Silent Warrior before going to a Starset concert back in February of last year, so why not?

The deal with this anthology is the same as the last one: I can’t post my chapters online since Hollow Hills forbids it. That’s something I can live with. They’re a business and they need to make money, so why should anybody have their books for free? Speaking of profits, this new anthology won’t be for charity, but you should buy it when it comes out anyways, because you’re awesome like that. Right? If you’re wondering why I’m not posting as often as I do, it’s because my attention is fully devoted to this new project. Plus, there’s that whole mental sluggishness thing I was talking about earlier. Wish me luck! I’m Garrison Kelly! Even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain!

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“Sunday morning I’m waking up. Can’t even focus on my coffee cup. Don’t even know whose bed I’m in. Where do I start? Where do I begin?”

-“Where Do I Begin?” by The Chemical Brothers-

***POST-SCRIPT***

The next time I post a blog entry, it’ll be about my favorite time of the year: the release of the Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic awards from the Wrestling Observer Newsletter! They came out yesterday and boy, were there some whoppers. One big winner and six runner-ups. Not as many as I anticipated, but still, these are pretty god awful. Get your barf bags ready! It’s going to get ugly! Hehehe…heh…heh….I’m on an island.

Good Reads Book Tag

***GOOD READS BOOK TAG***

Q: What was the last book you marked as read?

A: “The Golden Bell” by Aurora Styles. I gave four out of five stars to this deliciously dark fairytale.

Q: What are you currently reading?

A: “Catch-22” by Joseph Heller. Actually, I haven’t started it yet, but I will eventually. My dad recommended this one to me since it’s supposed to be relevant to today’s world.

Q: What was the last book you marked as “to be read”?

A: “Eve: The Awakening” by Jenna Moreci. I purchased it on Amazon using a gift card that I won in a Halloween costume contest. I was a member of Slipknot for Halloween.

Q: What book do you plan to read next?
A: A randomly selected graphic novel. I always select my next book at random so that all of them in my collection have an equal chance of being paid attention to. It’s not fair just to read new books all the time. First I select a fictional book, then a graphic novel, then a nonfiction book. And then the cycle repeats itself until I have no more books (yeah, right!).

Q: Do you use the star rating system?

A: I do, but I give the grades my own names. Five stars is Extra Credit, four stars is Pass, three stars is Mixed, two stars is Fail, and one star is Zero Credit.

Q: Are you doing a reading challenge?

A: No. I’m a slow reader and it’s a long time between sessions, so I wouldn’t be able to set those goals for myself.

Q: Do you have a wish list?

A: Yes. These are the items on it:

1. “(Never) Land” by Jenna Streety
2. “A Is For Alibi” by Sue Grafton
3. “Absolute Power” by David Baldacci
4. “Absolutely Remarkable Thing, An” by Hank Green
5. “Adam Copeland on Edge” by Adam Copeland
6. “Adventures of Tanner the Tenacious Terrier, The” by Scott Berry
7. “Aeon Legion: Labyrinth” by J.P. Beaubien
8. “Almost Home” by Damien Echols
9. “Almost Live! The Show That Wouldn’t Die” by Bryan Johnston
10. “Alpha Drive, The” by Kristen Martin
11. “America 51” by Corey Taylor
12. “Apocrypha: The Legend of Babymetal” by The Prophet of the Fox God
13. “Are We There Yet?” by Robert Caprio
14. “Awkward” by Ty Tashiro
15. “Batista Unleashed” by Dave Batista
16. “Batman: The Killing Joke” by Alan Moore
17. “Beastie Boys Book” by Adam Horovitz and Michael Diamond
18. “Beautiful Boy” by David Sheff
19. “Being Jazz” by Jazz Jennings
20. “Best Seat in the House” by Justin Roberts
21. “Blackbirds” by Chuck Wendig
22. “Blacksad” by Juan Diaz Canales
23. “Blood and Water” by Briana Morgan
24. “BloodGifted” by Tima Maria Lacoba
25. “Book of Booty, The” by Big E, Xavier Woods, and Kofi Kingston
26. “Brutal Youth” by Anthony Breznican
27. “Bum Deal, A” by Rufus Hannah
28. “Butters Comes Home” by Claudette Melanson
29. “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” by Lee Israel
30. “Cat Who Could Read Backwards, The” by Lilian Jackson Braun
31. “Clover” by Moxie Darling
32. “Controversy Creates Cash” by Eric Bischoff
33. “Crazy Is My Superpower” by AJ Mendez-Brooks
34. “Crazy Like a Fox” by Liam O’Rourke
35. “Dark Visions” by Jonas Saul
36. “Dead and Kicking” by Lisa Emme
37. “Death and Other Dances” by Carla Harvey
38. “Death Punch’d” by Jeremy Spencer
39. “Deceived” by Brett Battles
40. “Deep Link, The” by Veronica Sicoe
41. “Deer Woman: An Anthology” by Elizabeth Lapensee and Weshoyot Alvitre
42. “Demon Knights, Vols. 1 to 3” by Paul Cornell
43. “Demon Within” by Julie Nicholls
44. “Development Hell: The NXT Story” by Michael Sidgwick
45. “Diary of a Teenage Girl” by Phoebe Gloeckner
46. “Dietland” by Sarai Walker
47. “Disobedience” by Naomi Alderman
48. “Dog’s Purpose, A” by W. Bruce Cameron
49. “Down the Rabbit Hole” by Holly Madison
50. “Dying Machine, A” by Mark Tremonti
51. “Eggshells” by Caitriona Lally
52. “Elysian Prophecy, The” by Vivien Reis
53. “Evalene’s Number” by Bethany Atazadeh
54. “Execution in the Family, An” by Robert Meeropol
55. “Fangirl” by Rainbow Rowell
56. “Feels Like Forever” by K.L. Cottrell
57. “Fifth Season, The” by N.K. Jemisin
58. “First Fruits” by Amanda Carney
59. “First They Killed My Father” by Loung Ung
60. “Four Territories, The” by Steve Collier
61. “From Prison to Promise” by Booker T
62. “Gateway to the Past” by Andy Peloquin
63. “Ghostly Writes Anthology 2016” by Multiple Authors
64. “Girl Out of Water” by Laura Silverman
65. “Girls In White Dresses” by Alex Gates
66. “Glass Castle, The” by Jeannette Walls
67. “Grappler” by Lynn Denton
68. “Gravity Rising” by Evie Driver (2019)
69. “Guardians, The” by Gina Moray
70. “Gun Seller, The” by Hugh Laurie
71. “Happy!” by Grant Morrison
72. “Harmony” by Carolyn Parkhurst
73. “Hate U Give, The” by Angie Thomas
74. “Haunting Hour” by RL Stine
75. “Heart of Thorns” by Bree Barton
76. “Heat Wave” by Richard Castle
77. “Here Comes Trouble” by Michael Moore
78. “Homegrown Democrat” by Garrison Keillor
79. “Hot Blood” series
80. “How Maxwell Grover Stole My House” by C.E. Vance
81. “How Wrestling Should Book Book, The, Vol. 1 and 2” by Adam Blampied
82. “I Am Not a Serial Killer” by Dan Wells
83. “I Am, I Am, I Am” by Maggie O’Farrell
84. “I’ll Be Gone in the Dark” by Michelle McNamara
85. “If They Only Knew” by Chyna
86. “In Search of Us” by Ava Dellaira
87. “In the Presence of Knowing” by Valarie Savage Kinney
88. “In Times of Violence” by Karina Kantas
89. “Jade” by Rose Montague
90. “Journey into Darkness” by Michael Chiappetta
91. “Kayfabe” by Sean Oliver
92. “Killing My Insomnia” by Igor Cavalera
93. “Kind of Like Life” by Christina McMullen
94. “Kiss Quotient, The” by Helen Hoang
95. “Law and Disorder” by Mike Papantonio
96. “Liberal Redneck Manifesto, The” by Trae Crowder, Drew Morgan, and Corey Ryan Forrester
97. “Life of a Children’s Troubadour, The” by Raffi Cavoukian
98. “Lights, Camera, Game Over” by Luke Owen
99. “Lion Called Christian, A” by Anthony Bourke
100. “Little Birds” by Hannah Lee Kidder
101. “Long Hard Road Out of Hell” by Marilyn Manson
102. “Looking at the Lights” by Pete Gas
103. “Looking For Alaska” by John Green
104. “Lost Girls” by Alan Moore
105. “Love Beyond Body, Space, and Time” by Hope Nicholson
106. “Loving Day” by Mat Johnson
107. “Magic Resistant” by Veronica Del Rosa
108. “Magic-Price” by C.L. Schneider
109. “Mapping the Interior” by Stephen Graham Jones
110. “Marco Hietala: Stainless” by Timo Kangasluoma (English)
111. “Mark of the Beast” by Trevor Wooten
112. “Marrow Thieves, The” by Cherie Dimaline
113. “Melabeth the Vampire” by E.B. Hood
114. “Memento Mori” by Muriel Spark
115. “Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life” by James Patterson
116. “More, Now, Again” by Elizabeth Wurtzel
117. “Mouth For War” by Phil Anselmo
118. “My Friend Dahmer” by Derf Backderf
119. “My Life” by David Jason
120. “NCIS: New Orleans: Crossroads” by Jeff Mariotte
121. “New York Trilogy, The” by Paul Auster
122. “No Is a Four-Letter Word” by Chris Jericho
123. “Norma Jean’s School of Witchery, Book One” by Rose Montague
124. “NXT: The Future Is Now” by Jon Robinson
125. “Officer Downe” by Joe Casey
126. “Official Truth 101 Proof” by Rex Brown
127. “Olympian Confessions: Hades and Persephone” by Erin Kinsella
128. “On a LARP” by Stefani Deoul
129. “Once a Crooked Man” by David McCallum
130. “One Left Behind, The: Magic” by Shakyra Dunn
131. “One Snowy Night” by Various Authors
132. “Pale Blue Dot” by Carl Sagan
133. “Pawper to Pedigree” by Angel M.
134. “Perfect Union of Contrary Things, A” by Maynard James Keenan
135. “Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater” by Michael J. Elliott
136. “Playing with Fire” by Lawrence O’Donnell
137. “Pleasure of My Company” by Steve Martin
138. “Pretty Guilty” by K.L. Cottrell
139. “Princess Alexia and the Dragon” by K. Meador
140. “PROX Transmissions, The” by Dustin Bates
141. “Punch Happy” by Lux Alani
142. “Rabbit Joke, The” by Paul White
143. “Red Queen” by Victoria Aveyard
144. “Resfeber” by Kelly Damon
145. “Rise of the Warrior Cop” by Radley Balko
146. “Rise: How a House Built a Family” by Cara Brookins
147. “Road to Jonestown, The” by Jeff Guinn
148. “Robopocalypse” by Daniel Wilson
149. “Roger Waters: The Man Behind the Wall” by Dave Thompson
150. “Room” by Emma Donoghue
151. “Rowdy” by Ariel Toombs and Colton Toombs
152. “Saint Mick” by Mick Foley
153. “Satan Speaks!” by Anton LaVey
154. “Scalped” series by Jason Aaron
155. “Scarlet Woods” by Brooke Passmore
156. “Second Nature” by Ric Flair and Charlotte Flair
157. “Sein Language” by Jerry Seinfeld
158. “Seven Deadly Sins” by Corey Taylor
159. “Sex, Drugs, and Opera” by Roland Orzabal
160. “Shadowlaw” by Brandon Easton
161. “She’s Not Here” by Mandi Lynn
162. “Shit My Dad Says” by Justin Halpern
163. “Silent Bob Speaks” by Kevin Smith
164. “Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda” by Becky Albertalli
165. “Siren Slave” by Aurora Styles
166. “Slobberknocker” by Jim Ross
167. “Soul of It All” by Michael Bolton
168. “Springfield Confidential” by Mike Reiss
169. “Squared Circle” by David Shoemaker
170. “Squirm” by Carl Hiaasen
171. “Stolen” by Lucy Christopher
172. “Story Genius” by Lisa Cron
173. “Story of the Streets, The” by Mike Skinner
174. “Sweet Vengeance” by Aliya DalRae
175. “Sword of Ruyn” by R.G. Long
176. “Sword of Shannara, The” by Terry Brooks
177. “System of a Down: Right Here in Hollywood” by Ben Myers
178. “Take the Cannoli” by Sarah Vowell
179. “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” by Jenny Han
180. “To Nowhere” by C.E. Wilson
181. “Toast” by Adam Blampied
182. “Tome of the Undergates” by Sam Sykes
183. “Toxic Avenger, The” by Lloyd Kaufman
184. “Tricked” by Alex Robinson
185. “True Fiction” by Lee Goldberg
186. “Turtles All the Way Down” by John Green
187. “Undertaker” by Chad Dundas
188. “Upside of Unrequited, The” by Becky Albertalli
189. “VG Heroes” by Jason Delfino and Carlos Malbrew
190. “Walking a Golden Mile” by William Regal
191. “Way of Spears” by Natalia Leigh
192. “What If It’s Us?” by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera
193. “Why Young Men” by Jamil Jivani
194. “Win By Submission” by Melynda Price
195. “Worlds with Ruby” by CP Cabaniss
196. “Worst Person in the World” by Keith Olbermann
197. “Y: The Last Man” by Brian K. Vaughan
198. “Yaqui Delgado Wants to Kick Your Ass” by Meg Medina
199. “Yummy” by Greg Neri

Q: What book do you plan to buy next?
A: “Little Birds” by Hannah Lee Kidder. She’s an absolute joy to watch on You Tube whether she’s giving writing advice, doing book tags, or reviewing bad movies.

Q: Do you have any favorite quotes?

A: “In Joe Pickett’s experience, the man who talked the most had the least to say.” That’s from “Open Season” by CJ Box.

Q: Who are your favorite authors?

A: Jenna Moreci, Stephen Chbosky, Susan Cain, Carl Hiaasen, Lilian Jackson Braun, and Brett Battles to name a few.

Q: Have you joined any groups?

A: The only one I’m currently a part of is Weekly Short Story Contests and Company.  Every week, there’s a friendly competition to see who wrote the best short story or poem based on a one or two-word prompt. No prizes, it’s just for motivation and fun. Some of my best writing was produced in this group and I’m thankful to have been a part of the WSS as it’s called.

I tag…anybody who feels like doing this. I won’t pull a gun on you or anything like that. Hell, you might not even have a Good Reads account.

Beautiful Monster Announcement

***BEAUTIFUL MONSTER ANNOUNCEMENT***

Good evening, everybody. I hope things are going well for you all. I only have one more chapter of Incelbordination left to write and then it’s on to new horizons. I’ve been deliberately putting off writing these chapters because I needed something to submit to the WSS every week. I know joining the WSS contests isn’t a requirement, but I still want to play a huge role in the group that changed my life in so many ways. Once Incelbordination is over, I’ll need a new project. For the public eye, that project will be unofficial additions to Poison Tongue Tales 2, my collection of sci-fi, fantasy, and horror short stories.

The third draft of Beautiful Monster, on the other hand, will have to be written privately. I have aspirations of publishing this novel through Hollow Hills Books, LLC, the company owned by my wonderful beta reader Marie Krepps and her longtime business partner Aurora Styles. Part of the conditions for publishing with them is that I can’t publish it anywhere else and that includes social media. They’re a business and they have to make money somehow, so I understand that. I don’t begrudge them for that and neither should any of you. Publishing with Hollow Hills will be a good move for me since they’re better at marketing books than I am. They also do formatting, book covers, and of course, critiquing and editing.

Though I can’t post any of the new chapters on social media, I can let you all know what some of the changes are going to be. For starters, Tarja Rikkinen and Windham Xavier’s relationship will be mostly platonic and any romantic movements will be slow and steady. This means Tarja will actually respect Windham’s personal boundaries instead of prodding him with nosy questions and trying to seduce him into doing something he doesn’t want to do.

Another change is that Windham won’t be a loose cannon at any point in the story. On the contrary, he will never raise his voice when he speaks even during angry moments, which makes him more intimidating to fight against, actually. He’s also going to refrain from swearing unless he’s quoting other people. When the one moment happens where he yells and swears, it’ll be special to read about and it won’t seem forced.

Names will also be changed. Instead of being called Michelle Xavier (a plain and boring first name), Windham’s queen sister will be called Llewellyn. Instead of Paladin Cross (an honorable and righteous name), the mercenary outfit that employs Windham and Tarja will be called Shadow Asylum. Instead of being a nameless city, Shadow Asylum’s headquarters will be located in an urban sprawl called Morgan Town. Instead of being a nameless client, Orpheus will be employed by a gigantic king named Lars Stonewall, who despises Shelly Atwood for her sex trafficking business.

That’s another thing that needs to change: the evil characters need reasons for being evil. For Shelly’s sex trafficking and Orpheus’s mercenary guild, it’s not personal, it’s business. Money talks, bullshit walks. Profits before people. Ninety percent of the wealth is in ten percent of the population. Who cares if it disenfranchises the poor? While some people might find this mindset to be agreeable, I don’t. Income inequality brought on by shady business practices is one of my berserk buttons.

Instead of just twenty chapters, the new version of Beautiful Monster will have twenty-eight, counting a prologue and epilogue to bookend those chapters. This means there will be more action and less easy victories for the heroes, now that I have more space to work with. This also means there will be more room for back-stories, subplots, and hobbies for characters to enjoy. Everything happens for a reason and those reasons will be made clear in this new version.

Instead of wearing trench coats and heavy armor, Shadow Asylum members will wear red tunics with the company’s logo on the chest and black baggy pants. Trench coats can be yanked on during combat and can give an opponent an easy advantage. Heavy armor will weigh the mercenaries down when they try to get a cheap shot in on their foes.

Instead of psychedelic mushrooms that make him act like a loony toon, Windham will consume medicinal leaves to calm his mind down. These leaves are the medieval equivalent of Xanax in the modern world. I was going to have Windham undergo EMDR as a supplement to eating leaves, but that wouldn’t exist in medieval times (even with the liberties I plan on taking).

Last but not least, everybody will have unique speech patterns instead of screaming and cursing at everything. I’ve already mentioned that Windham won’t raise his voice or swear and the same will be said for Llewellyn. Kody and Christian Savage won’t even have dialogue; they’ll just grunt and make animal sounds, which makes them even creepier than they originally were. Orpheus Rinehart will still talk like a medieval version of Alex Jones. Shelly Atwood will still speak like a high class lady in her seductive tone. Am I leaving anybody out?

If you want to get an early start on Beautiful Monster, be sure to pick up a copy of the Still Standing anthology by Hollow Hills when it comes out on December 14^th. The anthology includes a prequel to Beautiful Monster called Savage Beatings, a story that chronicles Windham’s early days in Shadow Asylum. The other stories in that anthology are awesome to read as well, including works by Marie Krepps, Aurora Styles, Larry Fort (psychology major), and David Quesenberry (poet). One hundred percent of the proceeds will be donated to the Crisis Text Line, which is appropriate considering the theme of the book is anti-bullying phenomena. The combination of the worthy cause and lovable reads make Still Standing a must-buy for the holiday season (and every season after that).

I’m Garrison Kelly! Even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain!

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“I’ve been cast out, sequestered, and pushed the fuck around. Blindsided, beaten, locked up, and bound. Always thought I was human, but maybe I was wrong. Been treated like an animal since the day I was born. The wounds that I wear are like a crown upon a king. So heavy they lie with all the pain that they bring. My life is full of longing, but for what I’ll never know. I’ve been drawn into the fire as I reap what I sow. The ruler of a kingdom that ends up the pawn. So tired of thinking of where it all went wrong. Friendships, they come and go and sometimes they end. Wouldn’t dream in a million years that this would be one of them. Faith in the life, belief in the end. Failure’s not an option, but the options exist. I gave up on everything; I gave ‘til I bleed. Take it all, take everything, just take it from me! You’re pushing me, I’m pushing back. Falling down my heart attacks. Compassion is lost. No more hope, no more trust. I tore it down and burned it up. All faith is gone. Respect. Devotion. Dead. Disgust. Hate. Lies. I’m not a hero or a villain. Not a god, I’m just a man. Staring through the hourglass and the footprints in the sand. I’m stripping off my armor. My battles here are done. Wave my white flag to surrender and fly into the sun. Like a moth to a flame, my wings burn away. When things are too beautiful, I smash them to pieces. The more that you love me, insecurity releases. I’ll be the one that’s to blame. So I’ll sell my soul to blaze like a moth to a flame.”

-Hellyeah singing “Moth”-

"The Golden Bell" by Aurora Styles

BOOK TITLE: The Golden Bell

AUTHOR: Aurora Styles

YEAR: 2018

GENRE: Fiction

SUBGENRE: Dark Fairytale

GRADE: Pass

Lady Bellicent is a royal politician with undeniable physical beauty, a strong belief in fairytales, and a desire to gentrify her city into an educated, high-class metropolis. Her methods come across as arrogant and vain, so much so that she encourages the wrath of Rosamund the apothecary and her golden bell, which is used to summon necromantic faeries whenever she needs them. Bellicent’s controlling husband Lord Fitcher also serves as a thorn in her side, especially with his harsh demands of keeping her out of his “special room”. Sooner or later, everything will come crashing down upon this magical kingdom and Bellicent’s happily-ever-after story will turn into a sick and twisted nightmare she can’t wake up from.

When you first read this wonderfully dark story, your eyes will widen at the scene of Lord Fitcher sewing corpses of his past wives together into one piece of art. The only thing his “creation” is missing is a head, but don’t worry, because he has lots of inspiration for that particular piece. Fitcher seems to be happy and deranged as he marvels at his masterpiece. He’s basically the love child of The Joker and Hannibal Lector, which is why it’s imperative that nobody enters his secret chambers. But you know deep down inside his cover will be blown at some point in the story. It has to. You can see it from miles away. Such tension will follow you throughout your reading adventure and that’s part of what makes this story so good. Aurora Styles leaves no stone unturned when it comes to her craft and it brilliantly shows throughout her work.

Serial killer aside, I also enjoy the shades of gray logic Aurora employs with her characters. Yes, they do awful things such as framing each other for witchcraft or casting spells that will doom each other forever, but at the same time, you can’t help but feel sorry for the characters when these bad things happen to them. Yes, Bellicent comes off as arrogant and spoiled, but did she really deserve her fate at the end of the story? Yes, Rosamund is quite arguably the most sympathetic character in the book, but was her revenge plot against Bellicent overkill? Even Lord Fitcher with his psychopathic ways comes off as a charmer when dealing with the public (then again, lots of serial killers do in order to keep up appearances). At the end of the day, there’s no clear answer as to who the reader should cheer or boo. Trust me, that’s a good thing, because it keeps the reader on their toes and makes them anticipate the second part of this series.

Speaking of shades of gray characters, whether you like him or not, you have to admit that Lord Rhazien’s skull motif is pretty cool. He wears them like armor, he has skulls on his magical staff, and he pretty much is a skeleton demon who’s described as having burning green eyes. This is the kind of character videogamers would love to play as or against. Constantly throwing fireballs, controlling hordes of goblins and undead creatures, and transforming everybody he captures into disgusting orcs. Yep, he’s definitely a videogame-worthy character. It makes me wonder what kind of creativity cosplayers would whip up if they decided to go to a convention dressed as Rhazien. So many dark fantasy dream scenarios, so little time!

Considering how well this novel was written, I’d say that The Golden Bell, the first in a series, is a resounding success. Sure, there are a few sentences that look like they could be typos, but then again, it could also be part of the classy dialogue that fantasy novels are known for. Buy a copy of this book and enjoy yourself. It’s only a hundred plus pages long, so you’ve definitely got time to blitz through this magical adventure full of twists and turns. A passing grade is what this wonderful book deserves!

Why I Love the Author Community

***WHY I LOVE THE AUTHOR COMMUNITY***

I saw so many indie authors online from Jenna Moreci to Hannah Lee Kidder discussing this topic and I thought I should throw my name into the hat. I have a lot to be grateful for when it comes to my writing career and one of those things is the company I keep. The first thing people will tell you is that the author community is like one big family and the stigma about competitiveness is just that: a stigma that needs to be erased. Or as Red Green always says, “I’m pulling for you. We’re all in this together.” I agree with this philosophy one hundred percent. It takes a village to write a novel, whether your villagers are beta readers, editors, audience members, or otherwise.

I must confess that it took a long time for me to allow the author community into my life. When I first started creative writing as a sixteen year old, I had a massive ego and a chip on my shoulder the size of Texas. My filter for constructive or hurtful criticism was so strong that anybody who gave it to me was met with derision. I remember one night in Spokane, Washington in the fall of 2001 where I attended INCON, a sci-fi, fantasy, and anime convention. One of the feature attractions was having a piece of writing critiqued by five different professional authors. After the second one had her turn, I stormed out of the room and spent the rest of my evening crying my fucking eyeballs out. Were the authors using kid gloves? Not at all. But did that mean I had nothing to learn from them? Also a resounding no.

I took this egotistical attitude with me everywhere I went whether it was online or in college. I took my first creative writing class in 2004, though big ego or not, that class was deeply flawed judging from how much leniency was shown towards nasty critics. It got so bad that I wrote a poem about one of my classmates and told him that he looked like Frodo Baggins and that I wanted to impregnate his mother. I will admit that this gave me the confidence I needed to write poetry, but still, all that rage over a “You suck” comment? Ugh…

I would go on to take many more creative writing classes at Western Washington University and just like before, my ego got in the way of a true education. I remember one teacher I had who labeled my use of swear words as “hate speech” and told me I also wasn’t allowed to have gratuitous violence in my stories. What set me off wasn’t that alone, but the fact that I still got a C in her class despite adhering to her rules. My ego got bigger and my walls got higher. It would take a bloody miracle for me to let people in.

Fast forward to the year 2013, where I wanted to embark on an indie author career, but didn’t have anybody to critique my writing. I must have driven all of those people away, but it’s true, if you go long enough without criticism, you’ll be desperate for it when the gatekeepers lock you out. I caved and went to a group on Good Reads affectionately called the WSS (Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company). I’m still a member of that group today. I would enter a short story or novel chapter into the weekly contests, just like the name suggested…and the critiques I received were a complete one-eighty from a lifetime of seething anger.

Everybody was so nice to me that little by little, my walls started to strip away and it was easier to let people in. I got more of an education in this group than I did in school. You can teach people how to show instead of tell, how to keep one narrator, how to use colorful descriptions, how to not pull the trigger too soon when it comes to the climax, and how to make your characters overcome great adversity. People with massive egos never learn these things because they believe in their hearts they’re already good enough. The more you realize how imperfect you are, the more likely you are to improve. Thank you, WSS, for stripping away my oversized ego with your kindness and love.

From that moment, I would go on to meet many wonderful indie authors whom I can learn from and depend on when things get rough. I can’t say enough positive things about Ashley Uzzell/Marie Krepps. She’s honest, she’s funny as hell, she’s wise beyond her years, and she backs it all up with her kick-ass stories. Aurora Styles is every bit as wonderful as her Hollow Hills cohort with her own sense of humor, her own literary wisdom, and her own terrifically-written prose. Jenna Moreci uploads You Tube videos every so often dishing out sagely wisdom of her own whether the topic is writing or marketing. Hannah Lee Kidder is also a You Tuber who’s fun to watch when it comes to giving the world thoughtful advice. Patrick Doran’s cheerful Deviant Art comments give me the fuel I need to carry on during moments of exhaustion. If I’ve left anybody out, I swear it’s an accident. Thank you, writing community, for being my rock and not letting my head over-inflate.

I’m Garrison Kelly! Even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain!

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“I’ve been alone. Felt abandoned at times. Given into the fall. I can’t forget what it’s like. When I felt numb and so hollow inside, you carried me through it all across the divide. I’ve been lost. Felt ruined inside. Watched it all crumble in the blink of an eye. You were strong and so hopeful inside. Saved this fallen one when I wanted to die. And when I went through it all, you gave me your heart. I learned to forgive. And when I come through it all, I know you’re the one I’ll never forget.”

-Device singing “Through It All”-

Middle Ground Between Perfect and Despicable

***MIDDLE GROUND BETWEEN PERFECT AND DESPICABLE***

The year 2014 was an…interesting one for me in terms of my writing career, but what it all boiled down to was two characters I created, both from separate stories. And now I feel like Agent Smith from The Matrix when he tells the main character that there’s a difference between Thomas Anderson and Neo. But instead of taking your mouths away, I actually want some input from my readership to see if I’m not alone in this. Being stuck on an island is no fun at all.

One of these two characters was Sitka the Nose Biter, the titular witch kitty from Poison Tongue Tales. Her positive traits were her cuteness and magical powers while her negative ones were her grumpiness and inability to trust even the kindest souls. She ended up becoming one of my most popular characters.

The other character could not be less relatable. Her name was Danielle Keyes and she was Terrance Coffey’s roommate in the American Darkness short story Wishes in the Night. Danielle’s gimmick was that of a Nightwish fan-girl who had a shrine of their merchandise and photographs in her bedroom while their music was playing too loudly for Terrance’s comfort. Danielle’s characterization went over like a fart in church, meaning none of my audience members cared about her.

To channel Agent Smith once again, “One of these lives has a future, the other does not.”

It was during 2014 that I struggled the most with creating relatable and believable characters and to some extent I still do struggle in today’s world. This whole time I’ve been rolling the dice with my characters and hoping I didn’t roll snake eyes. In other words, I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. My characters were either too perfect or too despicable with very little middle ground between the two extremes.

I recently got some advice on this topic from my lovely beta reader Ashley Uzzell and she said that good characters should have a mixture of positive and negative traits just like any other human being in the real world. Fair enough. But then the question becomes, what positive and negative traits will keep my readers’ attention and which ones will turn them away?

Let’s say I had a character who was generous with his charity donations, but also ate with his mouth open during banquets. Let’s say I had another character who was a good teacher, but also hated furry animals. Or another character who was a top-notch athlete in school, but had a constant case of flatulence. Do any of these characteristics sound appealing right now? Not to me, they don’t.

And then I figured, maybe the traits themselves should be relatable. Okay, I can do that. How about a student who is good at math, but suffers from depression? Or a politician who is good with words, but has panic attacks during heated debates? Or a dancer who is athletic as hell, but can’t reach her full potential because she smokes cigarettes? I like these characters a lot more! Maybe I’ve answered my own questions after all.

You can use your own flaws and perfections when creating a character too, which is why “write what you know” gets thrown around as liberally as it does. Granted, self-inserting isn’t a desirable technique since it makes the author look egotistical, but you can throw some of your own traits in with ones that are already there. Scott George, the lead character from my Floydian high school drama Silent Warrior, is my best example of this. He’s mentally ill, socially awkward, and introverted as hell. I’m sure most of us can relate to these things, and yet the flaws work perfectly within the narrative…or so I’m told. I’m not trying to toot my own horn or anything; I’m just looking for examples, that’s all.

But just because I’ve gotten my shit together with flaws and perfections, it doesn’t mean I don’t still roll the dice whenever I create characters for the public. Not everybody is going to be a winner. But then again, that’s why we have the editing and beta reading processes. It doesn’t have to be perfect the first time around. If it takes forever, edit forever. While I was writing for the Still Standing anthology, I had Aurora Styles (one of the authors) suggest that I give Llewellyn Xavier (formerly known as Michelle) a hobby of some kind to round her out. When Windham asks her how her chess match went, she dangled a king piece in his face and smiled as she said, “How do you think?” Teamwork, people! Teamwork!

It takes a village to write a novel…or a short story…or a poem. Those villagers include your beta readers, editors, and your own characters. You can roll the dice all you want with your characters, but eventually you’ll have to take the sleazy casino route and load those dice with little weights. Only then can you rake in the chips and cash them in for a big payday. Actually, being an indie writer isn’t a lucrative business, but there are other ways in which you will feel satisfied with yourself. If you can make just one person happy with your writing, you’ve done a great job. Even if the story is sad as hell and a major tearjerker, you will have affected that one person on a deep level and that’s the most satisfying part of the job, in my opinion. I’m Garrison Kelly! Even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain!

***OZZY UPDATE***

Our little gray and white sweetheart is doing much better today than he was a few days ago. We still have to keep him isolated and medicated (which is coincidentally the name of a Seether album from 2014), but sure enough, he’s on the road to recovery. His wound doesn’t look as nasty as it once did and medicating him for it has been easy-breezy-lemon-squeezy. He’s going to make it! I know he will!

Hollow Hills Presents: Still Standing

***HOLLOW HILLS PRESENTS: STILL STANDING***

Bullying comes in many forms. It could be an immature insult. It could be a punch to the face. It could be a lifetime of negative messages. It could be an all-out sexual assault. The pain a victim feels from bullying has lasting psychological repercussions and in many cases has led to suicide. I know this because I too was bullied once upon a time. In other words, you’re not alone. In fact, nobody should have to face this horrible social crisis alone. And thus, we have the anthology known as Still Standing. Four short stories and one poem where the victims become the conquerors. They will go through pain, torture, and torment, but will always come out the other end empowered and emboldened. If you want to read about relatable characters who will always be there for you, grab a copy of this book when it’s released to the public on December 14^th, 2018. All profits from the anthology’s sales will be donated to the Crisis Text Line.

Good Reads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41969929-still-standing

Hollow Hills Author Bios: https://www.hollowhillsbooks.com/meet-our-authors

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“My friends are so depressed. I feel the question of your loneliness. Confide, ‘cause I’ll be on your side. You know I will. Ex-girlfriend called me up, alone and desperate on the prison phone. They want to give her seven years for being sad. My friends are so distressed and standing on the brink of emptiness. No words I know of to express this emptiness. Imagine me taught by tragedy. Release is peace. I heard a little girl and what she said was something beautiful. To give your love no matter what is what she said. I love all of you. Hurt by the cold. So hard and lonely too when you don’t know yourself.”

-Red Hot Chili Peppers singing “My Friends”-