“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to another
episode of Beneath the Surface. I am your host, Aaron Moore. Tonight we’ve got
a special treat for you. It’s no secret how Dread City’s
debt crisis has ravaged our poor and working class population. Many of our
citizens are losing their homes, their jobs, and in many cases, their families
due to not being able to pay their debts on time. Here to expose the secrets of
this little known debt industry is a man who wishes to be known by the
pseudonym Heath Riggs. Heath, welcome to the show.”
“Good to be here, Aaron.”
Heath parked his ass at a dimly lit studio table across from
his host, while live cameras filmed the interview from every angle behind the
shadows. Aaron Moore clearly enjoyed the spotlight as evidenced by the fancy
gray suit and tie he wore just for this occasion. Heath Riggs, on the other
hand, thrived in anonymity, his black leather jacket, sunglasses, and hood
covering everything but his black face driving the point home. While Aaron leaned
his body in to ask the tough questions, Heath kicked back with his fingers in a
triangle position and his heel across his lap.
“Now Heath, I want to start off by addressing with you the
harassing ways in which debts are collected. The late night phone calls, the
vulgar speech, the contacting of family, friends, and coworkers. By your own
admission, these tactics should be illegal, yet debt collection companies get
away with this all the time.”
Heath cleared his throat. “Well, you’re right about the fact
that these tactics should be illegal. If they came from anybody other than a
collector, the police would be called in a heartbeat. But the funny thing is,
the harassment doesn’t actually get us our money faster. Then again, neither
does the impending lawsuit and the subsequent garnishing of wages. This isn’t
about collecting money we’ll never have. It’s politics. It’s all about weeding
out the poor and disenfranchised so that they can’t influence our governmental
policies. It’s not a conspiracy. This shit’s as real as it gets.”
Aaron, who was drinking a mug of hot coffee during Heath’s
answer, spit out his beverage and choked on whatever was left. After wiping his
mouth with his expensive sleeve, he said, “Mr. Riggs, I appreciate your honesty
during this interview, but I have to ask you not to swear when giving your
answers. We’re on live television in over a million homes. Surely, you
understand.”
“Of course I do.” Heath grinned like he was onto something. “Wouldn’t
want to offend your audience’s precious Christian ears. Wouldn’t want the
children to hear any of this shit. Lord knows they might grow up to become free
thinkers. We know that can never happen.”
“I’m warning you, Mr. Riggs….”
Taking his sunglasses off and revealing gray mechanical eyes
underneath, Heath said, “Don’t worry, Aaron, I got the message loud and clear.
You can’t swear on television, but if you do it behind closed doors with an
unwilling secretary, it’s A-okay. I’m not just exposing the debt industries
secrets, but yours as well. I agreed to do this interview because I want a
clear conscience. Fourteen years of debt collecting began to wear on my soul
after a while. I figured, as long as I’m here with an alleged sexual harasser,
I might as well go the full nine, you know what I’m saying?”
“Cut the camera feed! Cut it now!” demanded Aaron. Without
checking to see if his orders were followed, he leaned in closer to Heath’s
face and pointed an accusatory finger at him. “I don’t know what kind of stunt
you’re trying to pull, but you have no proof and neither do any of my accusers.
Those cases were settled a long time ago. Now do you want to discuss debt
collection or do you want to keep toying with me?”
“Why can’t he talk about both? It’s not like you two don’t
deserve last words,” said a robotic feminine voice from the shadowy background.
While Heath remained calm, cool, and collected, Aaron went bug-eyed and his
body trembled at the sight of a cyborg assassin holding two severed heads by
the hair like they were cheerleader pompoms. As soon as this mysterious woman
stepped into the light, headless bodies all around the studio dropped to the
ground and soaked the wooden floors in human blood and cyborg oil. A bald black
woman with golden earrings and a green metal suit stared her newest victims
down with a mischievous grin.
While Aaron curled up in a ball on the edge of pissing
himself, the assassin said, “Don’t worry, honey. None of what you or Heath said
made it on the airwaves. I made sure of that. It’s probably just as well.
Although, if you want to tell your mindless viewers goodbye for one last time,
I suppose I could let you do that.”
“Please…I don’t know who you are, but I’ve got a family I
need to get home to. Don’t kill me! Please don’t kill me!” quivered Aaron while
Heath smiled and shook his head.
“It’s the same old excuse: think of my family so that I
don’t have to when I’m trying to take the secretary to pound town. Don’t worry,
Aaron, I’ve got this.” Heath cracked his knuckles before getting out of his
chair and strutting towards the assassin, who tossed the cameramen’s heads off
to the side like they were easily disposable to begin with.
“What are you so cocky about, Mr.
Riggs? You’re not making it out alive any more than Hard-On Henry over here. In
fact, you’re the reason I came here today,” said the assassin with a grin.
Heath gazed his assailant up and down and whistled. “That’s
some expensive hardware you’ve got there. How much did them arm blades set you
back? Hundreds? Thousands of dollars? And that metal body? Shit, man, I don’t
know how you pay for all that with just a Street Ronin’s salary. If only there
was somebody here who knew how to make debt disappear quicker than those
cameramen you laid out. Hmm…” Heath stroked his chin as he mockingly pondered
this question.
The assassin flipped one of her arm blades and held it
underneath Heath’s chin. He didn’t back down from his confident demeanor, but
he was all ears for his would-be killer. “When you’re as good as me, money
isn’t that hard to come by. I don’t know what kind of lies you’re telling about
my client, but these poor suckers don’t go into debt because of politics. They
do it because they could never make it in a capitalist meritocracy. That’s my
special way of saying they’re fucking lazy.”
“Sure, whatever you say…Harlock!”
Upon hearing the assassin’s name, Aaron slowly lowered his
feet to the bloody floor, obviously not caring that much about his designer
shoes. “Wait a minute, you know this woman?”
“Not as well as I’d like to, but when you’ve been on the job
as long as I have, you learn something about these poor pathetic motherfuckers.
The boss man gives you a name, an address, and how much they owe. The rest of
the research is up to you, hence why we often resort to calling friends and
family to collect the debt. Harlock here doesn’t care about the circumstances
of others, which is ironic considering those cyborg parts didn’t come easy in
this so-called meritocracy. Besides, if she was really as hot shit as she
thinks she is, she wouldn’t have revealed all this information to me. We’d both
be dead as fucking fried chicken right now. But as it is…”
“Shut the hell up!” said Harlock as she drew a tiny droplet
of blood from Heath’s cheek. He still didn’t budge, only smiled wider as he
cleaned the wound off with his finger and licked it.
“Face it, lady,” said Heath. “You don’t want to admit it,
but you can see the irony of a debt-burdened assassin working for a debt
collection agency. You’re desperate for cash, so you’ll whore your services to
anybody who can make shit go away. But the truth is…paying those suckers off
ain’t going to solve everything. You would not believe the tricks they pull out
of their asses just to keep you paying up. Ever heard of zombie debt? How about
fifty percent interest? How about debtor’s prison? They still have that shit.”
Harlock narrowed her bladed eyebrows and dug the weapon
deeper into Heath’s skin. He flinched a little bit, but not enough to give away
whatever modicum of fear he might have been burdened with. She leaned in and
said, “You know nothing about me and my struggles.”
“Exactly! Debt collectors don’t know shit about you, which
is why they keep calling your ass in the first place! You could come crying to
them with your whole life story and it wouldn’t be enough. They got no heart.
They got no soul. If a big ass mega corporation had a heart and soul, they
wouldn’t be in business for very long, would they? Capitalism is a bitch.”
Harlock’s eyes slowly lowered to the soggy floor as if
Heath’s words got through to her. He took this small window of opportunity to
grab her by the arm and swing her blade into her own stomach. While Aaron was
in the background this whole time shivering and weeping, Harlock’s mechanical
guts spilled all over the ground as she coughed up oil and blood. Heath yanked
the blade upwards and split the rest of her upper body in two, bloodying the
floor even more than it already was.
“What the hell did you do that for?! She was cooperating!”
Aaron screamed.
“Recognizing how badly you’ve fucked up isn’t a Get Out of
Jail Free card. In case you hadn’t noticed what’s been going on here the past
few seconds, look on the ground. That bitch is beyond redemption. Speaking of
which, let’s get them cameras rolling again…”
“No! No cameras! No! I’m done with this!”
“Oh, we’re just getting started, Aaron. We’ve got a lot to
discuss. Debt collection and sexual harassment all in one story, although that
piss stain on your pants will be bigger ratings boost than anything we talk
about.”
Aaron spread his shaky legs to see that there was indeed
urine on his groin. “Goddamn it!”
Heath shushed him. “Ah, ah, ah! No swearing! There’re
children watching!”
