***ASSUMING EVERYONE IS A VILLAIN***
My childhood was far from perfect (high school be damned),
but one thing I’ll always cherish about my young past is doing Final
Fantasy-style role-plays with my California
friend Lance. We used Lego mini-figures to act out these scenes because they
were just as tiny as the sprites in Final Fantasy IV and VI for the Super
Nintendo. We battled indestructible giants together. We blew up entire space
fortresses. We had adventures that would solidify and enhance our creativity
well into adulthood. Anytime I get the chance to exercise my creativity, I’m
one happy motherfucker, which is why I’m writing this blog entry right now.
As fun as those times in my life were, there was always
something about our role-plays that confused me just a little bit (no, this
isn’t me putting the boots to Lance, so settle down, everyone). More often than
not, one of Lance’s heroic characters would attack ordinary strangers because
he didn’t know what alignment they were. In other words, he assumed they were
evil long before he had the chance to get to know them. Not very heroic
behavior, in my opinion. But it is worth examining, because even now as an
adult with a Bachelor’s in creative writing with a minor in theater arts, this
idea could still hold weight in today’s world.
One way in which prejudging could work for the protagonist
is if he’s paranoid. Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean the world isn’t
out to get you. That’s how delusional thinking works. I know this because
during my earliest bouts of schizophrenia in 2002, I too assumed everyone was a
villain, whether they were friends, family, strangers, or natural enemies. I
had this delusion that the whole world was conspiring to conform me into
someone I’m not. Any small sign of obedience on my part meant that my
“conspirators” had a permanent victory. My behavior was erratic and I made a
few enemies along the way because of it.
But schizophrenic delusions aren’t the only way in which a
paranoid person could assume everyone is a villain. The protagonist could
instead have PTSD, where the flight or fight mechanism in the brain is working
overtime to make the sufferer hyper-vigilant. PTSD can happen for any stressful
reason whether it’s bullying, sexual harassment, rape, war, or whatever. People
with extreme cases of PTSD have a hard time letting others into their bubble.
Who could blame them? They don’t want to be triggered by someone’s distrustful
ways. And when I say triggered, I’m not using the alt-right definition of it
where they completely wipe their ass with the word.
Not all paranoid protagonists have to have mental illnesses,
though. Sometimes they’re not paranoid, but simply distrustful. They won’t beat
the shit out of people with unknown alignments, but they could distance themselves
from those strangers. They could be fiercely independent in their work life.
They could be a Single Pringle. They could isolate themselves from the world
around them, though if they did that, it could lead to depression or other
mental illnesses. Distrustful protagonists have been around since forever and
with the proliferation of violent literature, why wouldn’t they be? It’s a kill
or be killed world out there.
As children, Lance and I had confusing plot holes in our
role-plays, I’ll admit. Why would a fifty foot giant need a temple to keep him
indestructible? Why would the heroes live in an island cellar with nothing to
do but lay in bed? Why would a space fortress need to regenerate itself if it’s
already a powerful and elaborate structure? As silly as some of these
predicaments were, they did help us develop our storytelling skills to where
they are today. Yes, I was confused by the constant attacks on strangers with
unknown alignments, but I have a better understanding of it today.
Writers and storytellers have a tendency to look at their
past works and cringe in self-judgment. While some of that cringing is
justified in our advanced age, some parts of our past are worth analyzing if
for no other reason than to exercise our skills. We see our mistakes of the
past and we now have a better understanding as to why they’re mistakes. We
can’t take everything from our past and transpose it into our adult careers,
but without that past, we have no future. Whoever said, “The one thing we learn
from history is that we learn nothing from history” was referring strictly to
world politics and not creative journeys.
Lance and I lead very separate lives in today’s world. Our
belief systems are different. I live in Washington
while he lives in California.
He’s got his own projects while I’ve got mine. But we still have our creative
pasts in common and for that I will forever cherish our friendship no matter
how far into the future we are. Thank you, Lance, for helping me become the
writer and storyteller I am today. Every artistic journey starts somewhere and
it was an honor to start it with you. I’m Garrison Kelly! Until next time, try
to enjoy the daylight!
***CURRENT PLANS***
I’ve got a lot going on in my creative schedule, so let me
bring you all up to speed. I finally put together the manuscript for Beautiful
Monster’s third draft and it’s well on its way to being critiqued by the fine
folks at Hollow Hills. All they need from me now is my payment and some time to
work on it. As far as short stories go, my next one will be called Butterscotch
and it’s yet another tribute to a former animal of mine. Butterscotch was a
tiny kitten when he leapt out at me and my brother in the middle of a nighttime
walk in 2003. I still miss him to this day, just like all of my former animals.
I’m sure you guys have also noticed I’m posting reviews again, my most recent
ones being of “In the Presence of Knowing” by Valarie Savage Kinney and the
Quentin Tarantino movie “Jackie Brown”. If I can figure out how to fix the fucking
TV’s sound quality, my next review will be of another Tarantino classic,
“Inglorious Basterds”. If not, I’ll just stick to reading my next book, “Souls
of the Reaper” by Markie Madden, which is the second in her Undead Unit series.
I don’t have anything else to report, so wish me luck!
***MOVIE DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***
ALPHONSE: If I ever find
the person who’s doing this to me, I’m going to make him beg for mercy.
VICTOR: I don’t think
he’s going to beg for mercy.
ALPHONSE: He wouldn’t
get it anyways.
-Dead Man Down-
