All You Want Is More

VERSE 1

It might be a shocker to those unaware

But not all my dark secrets are fit to air

On TV, radio, or the good old Tubes of You

In between advertisements of whiskey and brew

Did I really do that to an old classmate?

Did I joke about submissives like a sick reprobate?

Did I do it on the bird app that I won’t call X?

Do I got a one-track mind preoccupied with sex?

 

CHORUS 1

I gave you my pain and all you want is more

I gave you my tears and all you want is more

Ripped open old wounds and all you want is more

Deets and dates, all you want is more!

 

VERSE 2

I crucified myself for an audience of many

I did it all for free, didn’t earn a single penny

The riches and bitches are for the anchors at five

Trust me when I say, they won’t call me “unalive”

 

CHORUS 1

I gave you my pain and all you want is more

I gave you my tears and all you want is more

Ripped open old wounds and all you want is more

Deets and dates, all you want is more!

 

BRIDGE

The conversation has long since run its course

Yet it happens again and you’ve got no remorse

Let the words of the greedy die a bloody death

It’s nosy at worst, concern trolling at best

 

VERSE 3

None of you got nothing to be nervous about

I was never suicidal, shouldn’t be in doubt

Even if the whole world takes turns fucking me

I’m alive for it all even when I fucking bleed

No gulag on earth will break me down

No reeducation camp will knock off my crown

I’m the king of my life, the god of my mind

My body’s made of meat, but it’s an axe I grind

 

CHORUS 2

I’ll give you my fist, do you want some more?

I’ll give you my bullet, do you want some more?

I’ll give you my blade, do you want some more?

Dicks and tricks, I hope you’re ready for more!

Nasal Science

Despite the title of this blog entry, it’s not about boogers and snot, so you can put the Kleenex away. It’s also not about masturbation, so that’s even more reason for you to stow away the tissues. It’s about people who have become so nosy toward authors and other celebrities that they’ve got it down to a science, hence the title Nasal Science. They ask the most ridiculous questions and put the “valuable information” on Wikipedia pages. For instance, someone actually got MMA champion Ronda Rousey to say that having sex before a fight is good for a female competitor since it increases their testosterone levels. I swear to god, that’s what’s on her Wikipedia biography right now. You know who else has a ridiculous Wikipedia entry? Former WWE diva Eve Torres. Somewhere in the personal information, it says that she’s afraid of clowns. Who gives a flying fuck?! And WWE superstar Daniel Bryan? Somewhere in his personal life section it says that he’s no longer a vegan because he developed an allergy to soy products. Oh, that’s so fascinating! I really needed to know about his allergies! That’s so fun! Look, I’m not saying that asking questions of celebrities is a bad thing. I’m just saying there’s such a thing as taking it to the extreme. Brock Lesnar and Jack White both have the right idea: if it’s not important, you don’t need to know about it. You don’t need to know The Great Khali’s penis size, you don’t need to know that Jacob Volkmann is a part-time back-snapper, and you REALLY don’t need to know how bad of a childhood Ivan Moody had. The latter of the three is what really disturbs me. People hear the songs “Remember Everything” and “The Devil’s Own” by Five Finger Death Punch, the band that Mr. Moody comes from, and they all of the sudden want to know all about his childhood. Are the lyrics not enough of an indication? “Slap on the wrist, smack in the face, the family tree gave me a name and nothing more!” What else do you want? Triggering a celebrity’s trauma is not fan service. Going back to Ronda Rousey for a moment, if you really want to know about her dead father, Google it. Don’t try to get her to open up to you. The last time that happened, she was in tears. We don’t like it when Ronda Rousey is in tears, except for when she just won a match. If you want to satisfy a minor curiosity, do it without making a science out of it. You don’t need a lab coat and scrubs. You’re just a geeky kid sitting in a computer chair. You want to know how you can pay fan service? Leave them the fuck alone!

　

***TELEVISION QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“If there is a God, he’s got a shit-load of explaining to do.”

-Tommy Gavin from “Rescue Me”-