Simone Biles: Gold Medal Magnet and Humble Pie Waitress

 

Makynlee Cova: Glass Ceiling Destroyer

 

If Nate Diaz can flex his biceps while he has a dude in a triangle choke, Makynlee Cova can pose while she's choking her own opponent. Girls and women don't have to be proper and pretty all the time. Men and boys can be vulnerable and soft. Fuck gender roles.

Becky Lynch vs. Brad Shepard a.k.a. Mr. "Piss Flippers"

 

Jade Cargill vs. George Zimmerman

 

EDIT: I just did a reverse image search on Google and the AI summary first said that Jade Cargill had a cake recipe, then the second time I reverse searched it, the AI said it's a "highly offensive" cartoon that "promotes violence". She's a wrestler, numb nuts! Violence is what she does for a living! It's scripted violence, but it's still violence! I'm more offended at George Zimmerman killing an innocent black kid than I am at Jade Cargill doing wrestling moves! Jesus!

Open Bar Superstar

VERSE 1

Drink that beer like you’re dying of thirst

Let the poison set in then do your worst

Ranting and raving is what you’re craving

Putting up with you is considered slaving

You belong in the back of a police car

And nowhere near the cacophonic bar

Come back when you gain some IQ points

Realize the annoyance of your own noise

CHORUS

Open! Bar! Super! Star! X4

VERSE 2

You don’t have to be a nuclear scientist

Just have to sit down and be silent, bitch

You act foolish as you feel the drugs

I wish I had a gun with a chamber full of slugs

Use your fucking head before it explodes

Your body is dumped on the side of the road

It’s only fantasy, but it’s a damn good one

Killing your ass would be so much fun

CHORUS

Open! Bar! Super! Star! X4

VERSE 3

Don’t you dare get behind the wheel

Or a kick in the nuts is what you’ll feel

You’ve done enough damage for one day

To our ears and brains and it’s not okay

You stole the music from underneath us

The band drove away in their big tour bus

I guess being an idiot is punishment enough

For guys like you with your beer belly stuffed

CHORUS

Open! Bar! Super! Star! X4

BRIDGE

You’re an alcoholic, far from anonymous

Far from Einstein, far from an economist

Far from the fan that you claim to be

If you’re stealing music from guys like me