If you’re suffering from erectile dysfunction, ask your doctor if “Irish Squeeze” by Marie Krepps is right for you. Side effects are generally moderate and may include fatigue, muscle tension, and frequent sweating. Okay, so asking a doctor about this book isn’t sound medical advice, but I’d take a copy of this steamy piece of fiction over a bottle of Viagra any day of the week. Viagra can give you nasty side effects such as bleeding from the eyes and a higher risk of stroke. But “Irish Squeeze”? The only stroke you’re going to suffer from reading this is the kind that requires a big bottle of lotion and an even bigger box of tissues. The sex scenes in this book are long enough to enjoy and intense enough to fantasize about. But this book is more than just Larry Flynt’s dream come true. It’s a real story. The further along you get, the more real the characters become. The protagonist, Melissa, starts off just wanting a fuck buddy to take her away from her life of energetic children and corporate drudgery. She gets one in the form of an Irish stud muffin she aptly calls Irish. They have some of the most mind-blowing sex throughout this story. But the more times they meet, the more intimate and loving Irish becomes. Suddenly, he doesn’t seem like a nameless screw. He seems more like a boyfriend, maybe even a husband. Melissa doesn’t want romance because of the many times she’s been betrayed by the men in her life. These conflicted feelings boiling within Melissa forces her to make a decision: advance the relationship or push Irish away completely. When it comes down to these details, this modern day erotic tale becomes less about shallowness and more about depth and emotion. Any two people can fuck like animals, but it takes a real human being to show love and compassion at the end of the day. Taking full advantage of such passion is something we all need to do somewhere down the road. But until that moment of clarity comes, you’ll be coming a lot sooner. Happy reading!
***LYRICS OF THE DAY***
“I didn’t know that it was over ‘til it was too late. But if I ever needed you, would you be there?”
-The Streets singing “It’s Too Late”-
Just because the title of this graphic novel series is “Preacher”, doesn’t mean you should expect some Mickey Mouse, Veggie Tales, McGee bullshit. Yes, the main character, Jesse Custer’s, occupation is a minister, but what actually occupies his time is trying to fight off demons and angels left and right. How does he do it? With the help of a trigger-happy girlfriend named Tulip and a raunchy Irish vampire named Cassidy. Oh, and Jesse also has a powerful stare that forces its victims to do whatever the fuck he wants. If Jesse Custer wants you to go fuck yourself, that’s exactly what you’ll do. If he wants you to count the grains of sand on the beach, then be prepared for a long ass night. You can see every piece of hardcore, godless, offensive action in the first three graphic novels of the Preacher series. Each of them have blood, guts, broken bones, monstrous sex scenes, and dialogue that no bar of soap on the tongue can cure. No absence of malice in any of the first three editions. Having said that, the most disturbing of the three so far is the second one where Jesse has to survive being tortured and twisted by his devilish and bitchy grandmother. The horror she put Jesse through as a child and teenager is unspeakable, the most disgusting treatment being locking him in an underwater coffin for what seems like an eternity as punishment for going against the word of God. Throughout the entire second edition, you keep hoping and praying (no pun intended) that the grandmother gets her comeuppance. The further you read, the angrier you get at her and her cohorts. But before you punch a hole through the comic book, you should feel some sort of relief that there’s a special place in hell for people like her. You think you have fire coursing through your veins? Try living in hell for as long as the grandmother will. Constant torture and agony for a longer time than all of Jesse Custer’s underwater coffin punishments put together. This is the kind of thing you can expect from every episode of Preacher: badass action, transgression horror, and nightmares for many days to come. For all of you who say that comic books are for kids, I certainly hope you’re not talking about the Preacher series. Your kids would need so much therapy that even Bill Gates couldn’t afford to pay for it all.
***LYRICS OF THE DAY***
“When I hear that trumpet sound, I’m gonna rise right out of the ground. Ain’t no grave can hold my body down.”
-Johnny Cash singing “Ain’t No Grave”-
