The Over Party

VERSE 1

Get out the corn chips, get out the queso dip

Watch him walk over a banana peel and slip

Get the chocolate cake, eat it while he breaks

Apologizes a thousand times for a big mistake

CHORUS 1

Garrison is over party

Is over party

He’s over party

Party, party, party!

Party, party, party!

VERSE 2

She literally did nothing to deserve your online scorn

Unless you’re a bunch of incels looking for some porn

You drank your champagne while she screamed in pain

If it happened to me, I’d probably go the fuck insane

CHORUS 2

Lindsay Ellis is over party

Is over party

She’s over party

Party, party, party!

Party, party, party!

BRIDGE

Yo, why don’t you go after the right target for a change?

VERSE 3

He cares more about the rights of Nazis and Proud Boys

Than he does of ordinary folks and the unemployed

He says he’s one of us, but he’s quickly losing trust

Because for him, hoarding greenbacks is always a must

CHORUS 3

Bill Maher is over party

Because he deserves it

Because he talks shit

Throws a fit

Makes his audience rage quit

CHORUS 4

Everybody sing!

The world is over party

Because it’s a shit hole

It’s out of control

No soul

Just check the Twitter poll

Everyone's a Demon

Everyone’s a demon, everyone’s a sinner

Everybody does things that make others shiver

From the tiniest fuck-ups to the nuclear level

Everybody’s cloned from the same old devil

Skeletons invade our most secretive closets

Saying otherwise is bullshit and I will call it

Putting your heroes on the highest pedestal

Will make your disappointment credible

What should we forgive? What should we punish?

A slap on the wrist or an all-out whodunit?

Where should society draw the fucking line?

What would they consider the ultimate crime?

It’s a constant game of limbo, how low will we go?

When crossing the threshold, how will we know?

Everyone’s a demon, everyone’s a mistake

Everyone’s a devil, for Jesus Christ’s sake

Everybody fucks up, some more than others

Few will swear on the graves of their mothers

That they’ve changed into a brand new person

Yet they still live with their crippling curses

To forgive or fuck? That is our only question

Is the answer even worth a minimal mention?

Go ahead and behave how you want to behave

In the end, everybody sleeps in the grave

Everyone’s a demon on their way to hell

I don’t give a shit in case you couldn’t tell

Stupid Rabbit

***STUPID RABBIT***

It’s no secret that Looney Tunes had a huge influence on me as a kid and still does as an adult. Many of my Poison Tongue Tales entries have been compared to Looney Tunes cartoons and I take that as a compliment. My mom is also a Looney Tunes fan, so much so that I got her a DVD collection of the cartoons as a Mother’s Day present one year. I guess you could say that it’s a family tradition to be a fan of this genre. That’s why when I saw a You Tube video of Yosemite Sam’s piano bomb prank on Bugs Bunny, I had to make it a part of my motivational self-talk.

What happens in this cartoon is Yosemite Sam rigs a grand piano with dynamite that’s set to go off when a certain key is struck. He then challenges Bugs Bunny to play a song on that piano where one of the notes is the detonation key. Bugs cracks his knuckles and plays the song without striking the key. Furious, Yosemite Sam yells, “No, that’s not it! Try again!” Bugs tries again and still fails to hit the trigger key. Sam then screams, “Oh, you stupid rabbit! Like this!” Although Sam played it the correct way, he triggered his own trap and blew his facial hair off. This piano bomb gag was common in Warner Brothers cartoons, but Yosemite Sam’s version is the one that sticks out to me the most.

Now whenever I make a grave mistake in either my writing or my drawings, I mentally yell to myself in Yosemite Sam’s voice, “No, you stupid rabbit! Try again!” It sounds negative on the surface, but it’s Yosemite Sam’s voice, so it’s actually a giggly form of motivation. And it’s true: in the world of creative work where introversion is the key to getting shit done, you get an endless supply of chances to make things right. You’ve written a first draft novel? Try again! You’ve miscalculated the limbs on a drawing? Try again, you stupid rabbit! Although, you won’t ever have to worry about your keyboard or colored pencils being hooked up to a bomb.

In a world where everybody is telling artists to give up and get STEM jobs, you need as much positive motivation as you can possibly get. Even though Yosemite Sam is yelling “Stupid rabbit”, I get a chuckle out of it instead of getting down in the dumps. Being able to laugh at yourself is the most powerful thing you can do as an artist. If you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

Although having a massive ego is completely natural (we all have one whether we admit it or not), being able to tame that ravenous beast is one hundred percent necessary. That doesn’t mean you can’t believe in your own ability to improve. It just means that not all critical advice is bad. I paid Marie Krepps to critique Beautiful Monster and she delivered the goods and more. Now I’m contemplating rewriting the whole story from scratch to accommodate the radical changes she suggested. And while I’m doing it, I’ll be hearing Yosemite Sam’s voice echo in my brain.

“No, you stupid rabbit! Try again!”

You have no fucking idea how good that feels. I love the Looney Tunes, damn it! I’m Garrison Kelly! Even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain!

***PROVERB OF THE DAY***

“There are two motives for reading a book. One, that you can enjoy it. The other, that you can boast about it.”

-Bertrand Russell-

Chronomancer

CHORUS 1

Chronomancer! Dickless Tracy!

Colonel Mouse Turd! Fucking face me!

I’ve paid for every one of my sins!

Throw your evidence in the garbage bin!

VERSE 1

Time is a weapon deadlier than a gun

Past, present, and future become one

Anxiety, depression, hostile aggression

Every mistake becomes worthy of mention

I’ve said I’m sorry about a million times

You’ve stayed quiet about your own crimes

How convenient since you need an attorney

To guide you through your criminal journey

CHORUS 2

Chronomancer! Sherlock Home Wrecker!

Missus Pee Cock! Go on record!

Tell everyone how horrible I am!

Forget your own sins, your own jam!

VERSE 2

The future looks grim for the atoners

Turning social butterflies into loners

Turning the past into something that lasts

Forever on a radio show on full blast

I’ve been explaining, yet you don’t hear me

Trying to make my own loved ones fear me

Chronomancer, you don’t have the answers

You’re just a loud and obnoxious bastard

BRIDGE

Those who truly need their final closure

Will always believe it’ll never be over

Thanks to you and your holy crusade

The trauma and drama will never fade

CHORUS 3

Chronomancer! TJ Crooked!

Mister Body Bag! I knew you wouldn’t

Have the guts to see this all the way through!

You’re just a disc jockey with a loose screw!

Pornomancer! You’re the cancer!

You’re the keeper of false answers!

Don’t even try to cast your stones!

You can’t even control your own bone!

How Dare You?

VERSE 1

How dare you label me a snake in the grass?

How dare you kick me when I’m on my ass?

How dare you dig up the secrets from my past?

How dare you…How dare you?!

CHORUS

You didn’t know me until I made that mistake

You tried to judge me until the day I break

You tried to label my apologies as fake

How dare you?! How dare you?!

VERSE 2

How dare you unleash the world upon me?

How dare you wish for the buckets I bleed?

How dare you judge me before you read?

How dare you…How dare you?!

CHORUS

You didn’t know me until I made that mistake

You tried to judge me until the day I break

You tried to label my apologies as fake

How dare you?! How dare you?!

BRIDGE

Sound the alarm! It’s time to do some harm!

Ring the bell! It’s time to burn it to hell!

Flash the sirens! Let’s kill the tyrant!

How dare you?! How dare you?!

EXTENDED CHORUS

You didn’t know me until I made that mistake

You tried to judge me until the day I break

You tried to label my apologies as fake

How dare you?! How dare you?!

You think this is a game? Can you handle fame?

You think this is a joke going up in smoke?

You think you’re clever until the end of forever?

How dare you?! How dare you?!