District 9

MOVIE TITLE: District 9

DIRECTOR: Neill Blomkamp

YEAR: 2009

GENRE: Science Fiction

RATING: R for violence, language, and politics

GRADE: Pass

In Apartheid-ruled South Africa, an alien ship containing “prawn” refugees hovers over Johannesburg while the occupants are housed in a ghetto called District 9. Now the government wants to evict these aliens from their homes and move them into worse housing. They do that with the help of sadistic mercenaries led by arrogant bureaucrat Wikus van der Merwe, who during this operation becomes contaminated with alien jet fuel and slowly turns into a prawn himself. Now Wikus is a fugitive on the run as he tries to keep from being experimented on by government scientists.

Xenophobia has always been poisonous to our world politics and that is fully on display in this movie. Just like any other oppressed minority, the prawns are treated as second class citizens and social pariahs simply because they don’t look or talk like typical humans. One could argue that the aliens are treated worse than human minorities, but just remember that it could be any group of people in that situation. Hitler treated Jewish people like they were monsters. Donald Trump treats Hispanic immigrants like “animals”. The less humanity you have, the more likely you are to distrust and commit atrocities against those different from you. It’s a bully mentality that is taught, not something you’re born with. Altruistic love is for all creatures, not just the ones who look the best. The anti-xenophobia message is loud and clear in this movie. I hope everybody is listening.

And it’s because of the lack of humanity from the people in charge that I find it difficult to sympathize with Wikus as he goes through his transformation. He’s every bit as smug and bigoted as his mercenary companions and I have a hard time believing that his attitude changed much throughout the movie. He only seems to be sympathetic towards the prawns when he needs their help. I understand that he has to be a jerk in order for his character development to be realistic, but then I ask, what character development? He seems to feel sorrier for himself than he does anybody else. Perhaps this was all by design since the anti-xenophobia message needs the be clearly sent, but it’s still a slap in the face to know that Wikus is our story’s main hero. He doesn’t seem very heroic to me.

But now that the movie’s message is there for all to see, there’s no reason why we can’t have some good old fashioned violent action. And boy, does this movie have plenty of it. The machineguns and tanks are deadly enough, but then you add alien weapons to the mix and bodies explode like blood balloons. Granted, these extraterrestrial weapons can only function on prawn DNA, but that’s the silver lining in Wikus’s mutation. Whether you like him or not, you have to admit that he’s deadly with one of these laser guns despite having zero combat training. When he uses these weapons on the bad guys and not on the aliens, that’s pretty much the only way you as an audience can warm up to him. It’s superficial at best, but if you thought an Apartheid-themed movie was going to be lacking in the violence department, you’re sadly mistaken. At least the violence is fun to watch at times.

Anybody who says District 9 is a modern day classic isn’t kidding around. It’s a movie we need now more than ever in today’s political climate. Racism didn’t go away; it’s just being filmed. While District 9 is a science fiction movie, it feels too much like real life. A passing grade will go to this masterful piece of cinema. Every Academy Award this movie won was highly deserved and much more. If you saw this movie in theaters or you bought the DVD, consider your money well-spent.

"The Savior's Champion" by Jenna Moreci

BOOK TITLE: The Savior’s Champion

AUTHOR: Jenna Moreci

YEAR: 2018

GENRE: Fiction

SUBGENRE: Dark Fantasy

GRADE: Extra Credit

In a medieval tournament to crown The Savior’s husband, twenty men must venture through trap-infested tunnels, complete blood-curdling challenges, and even fight each other to the death until one man is left standing. Muscle-bound mercenaries, arrogant royals, and imaginative artists are among these twenty competitors. Tobias Kaya, a sugar mill worker and former painter, only wants to be a part of this tournament so that he can earn enough money for his impoverished family and handicapped sister. He gives less than a damn about The Savior and instead forms a secretive romance with a healer girl named Leila. Their relationship could lead to charges of blasphemy and possibly execution. After all the violence and trauma the tournament has to offer, Tobias’s love for Leila is the most real thing to him.

I must say, it has been years since a book hit me so hard in the feels that I thought I’d fall to pieces right then and there. Every emotion Tobias went through in this heinous tournament, I felt a hundred fold. The trauma of his friends being savagely murdered, the heartbreak of his arguments with Leila, the warm fuzziness of their passionate loving moments, the tears that fell down both of their cheeks, they all solidified what would become my Tobias-Bias. I connected with his anger, sadness, and passion like no other character. I came very close to crying myself at times, but if I won’t reveal the events that made me do so, because that would unveil too many spoilers. As a reader, you want Tobias to succeed and be happy despite all the misery and bloodshed the tournament brings.

And then you have characters in this story who deserve all the venomous hate you’ve got bottled up in your heart. The Sovereign, Brontes, will get under your skin quicker than a jagged dagger with his humiliating and loathsome treatment of Tobias. The Sovereign’s favorite muscle-bound competitors, Kaleo, Drake, and Antaeus, will have you wishing over and over again for somebody to throw them screaming form a helicopter. And Flynn? Well, he comes off as a harmless arrogant jerk at first, but as the story progresses, you’ll want to strap him to a chair and beat him with hammers. This isn’t just mild annoyance you’ll have with the villains of the story. You’ll be seething with rage at them. You’ll see red 24/7. You’ll drool like a rabid wolverine. You’ll wish you could kill them yourself. These kinds of villains are the most effective and I commend Jenna Moreci for making me want to punch them endlessly in the face.

What else could be said about this wonderfully-crafted piece of fiction? The traps in the underground tunnels are creatively put together, that’s for sure. The spider trap reminded me of the tarantula scene from Something Wicked This Way Comes. The fanged pigs served as the perfect form of mockery, which will make you want to strangle the Sovereign even more. And when Tobias goes through these blood-spraying traps, you’ll feel those too along with his colorful palette of emotions. These are the kinds of traps that would make the creators of the Saw franchise jealous. Jenna Moreci left no stone unturned with these obstacles and for that she should be commended.

The Savior’s Champion is bloody. It is heartbreaking. It is tearful. It is well-written. But most of all, it’s proof that independently published authors are not to be laughed at. Other self-published authors such as myself should look up to Jenna Moreci as a beacon of hope and a role model for what a professional author should be. I’m so confident in her abilities as an author that I wouldn’t doubt the idea of a movie deal coming her way soon. “The Savior’s Champion. Rated R. Starts Friday at a theater near you.” An extra credit grade will go to this beautifully-crafted novel that hit me in the feels harder than any one of Kaleo’s right hooks. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to look for someone to give me a hug. I need one!

"Mortal Kombat X, Vol. 1" by Shawn Kittelsen

BOOK TITLE: Mortal Kombat X, Vol. 1: Blood Ties

AUTHOR: Shawn Kittelsen

YEAR: 2015

GENRE: Graphic Novel

SUBGENRE: Martial Arts Dark Fantasy

GRADE: Mixed

Normally, the first paragraph of these reviews would be a brief synopsis in my own words (rather than copying it from the back of the book). However, there’s so much going on in this graphic novel that it’s hard to piece it all together in one paragraph. Yes, there’s a war brewing between the earth and outer realms. Yes, they involve blood daggers that turn their wielders into psychotic savages. And yes, old characters from the Mortal Kombat videogame franchise make an appearance in one way or another. Something tells me that in order to understand what the hell’s going on here, you have to be familiar with earlier materials (even though this is the first volume). I’ve never actually played the first three Mortal Kombat games, but I’ve watched other people play them on You Tube, so I have a general idea of who the characters are and why I should give a damn about them. But those are the only three games I’ve seen up close. It’s because of this mass confusion and chaotic storytelling that this graphic novel earns a mixed grade at best.

But what the book lacks in coherent storylines, it makes up for tenfold with the violent action sequences. Bodies are getting ripped in half, hearts are being eaten, heads are being chopped off, bones are being broken, and that’s just a warm-up. Hell, the daggers that corrupt the minds of their owners do so by traveling through their blood. “The flesh is a lie!” as one warrior so delicately put it. There’s so much blood and gore in this graphic novel that vampires would use this as their own version of Playboy magazines. Then again, this level of ultra-violence is to be expected from a franchise where Sub-Zero rips the spinal column and skull out of his opponents’ bodies in the very first game. This kind of bloodlust had politicians and activists up in arms in the early 90’s, so the graphic novel will do nothing to sooth their sensitive sides.

The positives of this graphic novel are purely superficial, unless of course you have a better grasp of the storyline than I do. You get bonus points if you can remember everybody’s names, let alone the names of the artifacts scattered throughout the story. If someone can explain this to me and make me feel like an idiot watching Jeopardy, I will be your own personal janitor for a month. I’ll mop your floors and clean your toilets…with my tongue. Okay, maybe that whole stipulation is a tough bet, but you get the idea. The graphic novel is enjoyable, but confusing at the same time. This kind of yin-yang dynamic is what makes me want to give the work a mixed grade.

Mercenaries

***MERCENARIES***

Before I began my barbarian obsession in 2000 (which I owe to playing Diablo II), I had a mercenary obsession in the late 90’s (which I owe to playing Final Fantasy VII and VIII). In the seventh Final Fantasy game, the main character, Cloud Strife, did mercenary work to pay his bills. In the eighth Final Fantasy game, the entire Garden Academy trained mercenaries, which include Squall, Zell, and Selphie (I know how bad her name sounds in today’s world with camera phones, but this game was published in the 90’s; remember that).

There was something about beating people’s asses for a living that made sense to me as a pre-teen. Sure, there are other occupations in which one could do that such as boxing, wrestling, MMA, and the military. The thing about mercenaries, though, is that they could fulfill contracts on their own terms instead of having a boss breathe down their necks. Even before I started accusing my classmates, teachers, and family of trying to conform me in my sophomore year of high school, being independently-minded was fascinating to me. Then again, individuality and creativity cannot exist without each other. Granted, most of my creative projects as a kid were rudimentary at best, I still held onto those ideas even after facing ridicule. Back in those days, it made sense to combine a spear, an axe, and a claw into one weapon and call it a Spax Claw.

Enjoying the mercenary aura as a child was easy back then because I didn’t start to get political until I was 19 years old and John Kerry lost the presidency to George W. Bush. Even with rough edges, being politically minded changes everything. Bush’s presidency will always be marked by the second Iraq War, the introduction of torture as an interrogation technique, Islamophobia, but sticking with the theme of this journal, mercenaries. Independent contractors like Blackwater were hired to go overseas and complete their own missions. Mercenaries, unlike governmental soldiers, don’t have to follow the same rules as their country-bound brethren. With no oversight, mercenaries could kill and torture whoever they wanted whenever they wanted. Then again, with Bush in charge, there were already CIA agents doing that shit all the time. Suddenly the thrill of being a mercenary didn’t seem right anymore.

Realistically, if you’re writing a story and your main hero is a mercenary, making that character into a sympathetic role model is harder than you think. Fellow independent author Andy Peloquin pulls it off beautifully with his series of books involving The Hunter. Then again, The Hunter isn’t exactly a role model to anyone, but the reader still cheers for him. When good morals aren’t enough to win an audience over, the author has to rely on quirks, nuances, intelligence, and charisma to garner interest in his character. Even though he’s not a mercenary, Alex De Large from “A Clockwork Orange” is a huge example of a sympathetic character devoid of morals. Some readers choose to disagree with the antihero, though, and thus a heated debate ensues.

So while my interest in mercenaries has declined over the years, I never forget my childhood and teenaged roots. Those are the times of a human being’s life when creative growth is most important. It’s also a time in which a human being is most vulnerable to coercion and conformity. It’s easy to tell a child to “man up” and “get tough”, but it takes emotional complexity and maturity to guide that kid through the rough waters of conformity. Some people use negative opinions as motivation to do better, others succumb to the pressure and become brainwashed.

Because I care so much about my creative past, there could be a time in the future where I’m writing a novel, short story, or D&D campaign in which a mercenary is a necessary part of the narrative. The easy way would be to make that mercenary into a natural born villain. Or I could challenge myself and try to make a strong hero out of someone who lusts for money. I have a synopsis in my short story idea collection for a tale about a crime scene cleaner named Owen Edge who has a change of heart after seeing a teenaged girl being used for sex slavery. Maybe it’s a case of “Even Evil Has Standards”, but if I really want to get Owen over, I have to make his change of alignment believable. It’s a challenge I bravely welcome.

Now that I think about it, the term “mercenary” doesn’t have to always apply to fighters. It could also apply to anybody who cares more about money than he or she does about basic human decency. There are bankers and CEO’s on Wall Street who fill that role every day of their goddamn lives. We hear about it all the time in the news and in trailers for Mr. Robot. Remember George Weaver from the short story “The Balrog”? He’s a corporate mercenary in the worst sense of the word, which is why it takes a Mexican demon to drive him completely insane and render him unable to continue his work.

The concept of mercenary work proves over and over again how influential money is not just in novels and short stories, but also in the real world. Pink Floyd published a song on their Dark Side of the Moon CD called “Money” that talks about this very powerful form of currency. Then they published a song on their Momentary Lapse of Reason CD called “Dogs of War”, which more accurately describes what a mercenary truly is. The creative fuel is on the table, fellow authors. Don’t let this opportunity slip!

***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***

Coming up next in this series of drawings is Elizabeth Wilson, the aeromancer from the short story called…well…“The Aeromancer”! Those who have a fascination with either the Greek language or fantasy media already know that aeromancers are wizards who control the power of wind. No, that’s not a fart joke and those who think it is need to grow the fuck up. The only aeromancer in this world who’s capable of summoning chaotic magic with flatulence is me. It’s amazing my family doesn’t keep gas masks around the house for this very occasion. As for Elizabeth Wilson, if you piss her off, she’ll summon tornados and typhoons just to bring your ass down. As a side note, she has zero respect for authority.

***FACE BOOK MEME OF THE DAY***

The only reason Fifty Shades of Grey is romantic is because Christian Grey is rich. If he was poor and lived in a trailer, it would be an episode of Criminal Minds.