Giving Up On Romance

VERSE 1
An army of girl crushes narrowed down to one
High speed chases have never been so much fun
The diamond ring that costs god knows how much
The divorce bill from the one you couldn’t trust
Broken and alone is what you’ve truly become
Liberty for your ex and only justice for some
Do you remember the fun times you’ve had?
Or does the stinging pain just hurt so damn bad?

CHORUS 1
Giving up on romance!
Never stood a single chance!
Giving up on romance!
This will be your final dance!

VERSE 2
Sex education says to wait until you’re married
How can that be when you’re dead and buried?
How does a broken heart heal instantaneously?
How do you know she’s feeling simultaneously?
Sell that golden ring for a hundred million bucks
Tell the whole world you don’t give two fucks
Everyone I know is tired of all the fights for two
Once everything is done, there’s one thing left to do

CHORUS 2
Giving up on romance!
Tighten that belt around your pants!
Giving up on romance!
Let them know your final stance!

VERSE 3
The army of crushes has been taken down to zero
There are only villains left, none of them are heroes
Your knight in shining armor has blood on his sword
Your fairytale princess has been taken by the horde
Romantic fiction is a statement so damn repetitive
One hundred other suitors feel so damn competitive
This is not your fight and she is not your prize
If you’re blinded by beauty, then just open your eyes

CHORUS 3
Giving up on romance!
Sick of being in a fucking trance!
Giving up on romance!
I could go on with a hundred rants!
Chugging alcohol!
Bouncing off the padded walls!
Crashing on the bed!
This stone cold heart is dead!

Educational Fiction

We don’t need no education. We don’t need no thought control. No dark sarcasm in the classroom. Teacher, leave them kids alone. Hey! Teacher! Leave them kids alone! All in all, you’re just another brick in the wall. All in all, you’re just another brick in the wall. Sound familiar to you? It should. It was the perfect anthem for going to school and being miserable. Whether you were being bullied by the teachers, bullied by the kids, getting teenaged girls pregnant or being a pregnant teenager yourself, these separate phenomena have been and should be the subject of pretty much every educational fiction book on the library shelves. But to tell you the truth, the only educational fiction story I own is “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” and I have yet to read it. I’ve seen previews for the movie before, but I’ve yet to be properly introduced to it despite that. From what I’ve seen in the trailer, it does talk about bullying and friendship. Maybe even romance given that Emma Watson is in the movie. These may sound like inane topics when compared to world disasters, but they’re still important to talk about in some capacity. In fact, here’s a whole list of topics that all educational fiction novels should talk about:

1. Bullying. It’s been going on for way too long and despite all the deaths and heartache that has resulted from it, we’ve only been doing something about it since 2010. It should have never taken that long for us to realize that we need to treat each other with dignity and respect.
2. Friendship. This goes hand-in-hand with bullying since friends and family are your support network for when you’re going through those awful things. What also needs to be discussed is the idea of friends never seeing each other again after high school or college is over. Then again, that’s what Facebook is for. I guess.
3. Underage sex. When I went to school in the witch-hunting, Salem-esque town of Chehalis, Washington, the sex ed teachers taught us to wait until we were married to have sex after giving us a whole list of horrible STD’s to avoid by doing so. I’ve never heard so much dishonesty in my entire life. Then again, they have to have some way of keeping minors from fucking each other. Scare tactics are not the answer, though.
4. Teen pregnancy. In addition to that long list of painful-sounding diseases, another consequence of teen sex is pregnancy. Teenaged times are about having fun and being a kid. You can’t do those things whilst taking care of a baby. It’s one of the reasons I’m pro-choice. The other one being that kids can be really fucking annoying at times.
5. Drugs and alcohol. Promoting a straightedge lifestyle isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Hell, I’m straightedge myself, so I agree with drug education. But the whole “drugs are bad” approach can be downright ridiculous at times. It’s not enough to just say that drugs are bad and to use scare tactics. You have to teach these kids accountability and pride in their work.
6. Mental illness. This one hits close to home since I’m autistic, schizophrenic, and quite possibly depressed. High school is not a good place to start hearing voices in your head or to have a sad attitude all the time. It interferes with your social life, your work, and it may encourage bullies to pay you more visits. The earlier mental diseases are detected and accounted for, the better off the student will be.
7. The prom. I never got to go to the prom since I was too shy to ask anybody to come with me. I hated being told no and I still do. You want to know how much courage it took me to congratulate MMA fighter Ronda Rousey on Twitter for retaining her championship? All of it. Each and every last morsel of courage was used to post that message. If I’m that nervous around a high-profile celebrity, imagine what I’m like around regular people. Introverts like me quickly descend into our bubbles whenever danger approaches.

I’m sure there are more topics that need to be addressed, but these are the main ones that concern me the most. If you have any further suggestions, feel free to post them on the message board. Until then, I have one thing more to say. We’ve got ears, say cheers!

　

***TELEVISION QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“Sexual harassment is just bullying with a boner.”

-Daniel Tosh from “Tosh.0”-