It's Pronounced "Mike Rowe", Not "Micro"...Allegedly

 

Gone

“Don’t fall in love with strangers on the internet

Even though their beauty is impossible to forget

There are real life girls who’d love to take you to bed”

It’s the world’s shortest line, because they’re all gone

 

“Don’t spend all your time watching You Tube clips

While you’re munching down on a bag of cheesy chips

There’s so much cinema, characters you want to ship”

There’s just one problem, the best of them are gone

 

“Stop laying in bed when there’s so much to create

Never mind that the discourse is covered in hate

You can counter it with love, why would you want to wait?”

I’ll tell you why: because the good ones are gone

 

“Mother Nature is the very best antidepressant

The cost is cheap for every working-class peasant

You can feed the squirrels, sing with the pheasants”

It’s too hot outside, because the ozone is gone

 

“Get yourself a car, show off your convertible

Get yourself a job, get paid to be serviceable

Buy all the shit you want, stack it high and vertical”

Where are all the good bosses? Oh wait, they’re gone

 

Just gone! Gone! Gone without a trace!

A shitshow of a world is what came in its place

I’ve never seen a broken spirit with a happy face

It’s camouflage for authenticity they want to erase

 

“Can’t we all just get along?” Fuck no, we can’t!

Not as long as we’re repeating the same racist chant

Not as long as the elite cuts us off at the knees

And brainwashes everyone with the greatest of ease

 

Gone! Gone! Gone without a trace!

Shy Guy Blues

VERSE 1

You think it’s cute when I stare at my shoes

As I try to shake off these shy guy blues

As I sit and stew over nothing really new

Sifting through creative fuel to see what’s true

It’s okay if you don’t want to talk to me

It’s not like I’m the easiest guy to see

In a crowd full of people who love to chat

About the weather, their jobs, this, and that

VERSE 2

Confidence and charisma come so naturally

To those whose motto is “Love Actually”

I try to think of what I have to offer you

I’m coming up short, still the quiet attitude

I could write you a poem, but you won’t see it

Even if you could, you’d never believe it

It’s okay if you don’t want to crack my shell

I hope the rest of your day is going very well

BRIDGE

I don’t need to be a superman

Don’t need a shallow one night stand

Don’t need a pocket full of cash

I’ll just take a trip to sleepy land

VERSE 3

I dream about you every single night

I can’t tell you, because it isn’t right

You deserve every last of your comforts

My shy guy blues are my favorite cover

It’s okay if you think I’m just a coward

It’s okay if you don’t want to give me power

The shadows are my permanent address

For that, the two of us should feel blessed

High School Dreams

It’s hard to believe that I graduated from high school way back in 2003. And yet, the past refuses to rest in its shallow grave. Of all the dreams I’ve had in my adult life, going back to school is the most common. According to Dream Moods, going back to high school suggests inadequacy. I’ve graduated from college in 2009, but I haven’t been able to find a career that will make me independent.

So what do I have now? Dreams where I’m trying to figure out what grades I got by logging onto the school website, but I forgot my username and password. I’ve also had dreams where I go to school completely naked. Despite my overweight frame, nobody seems to notice or otherwise care.

And then there are those really interesting dreams where I sign up for a math or science class and I’m in danger of failing, so I drop out with a W for a grade. English literature, on the other hand, I have no problem with. I read the books and complete the assignments in a timely fashion, so my teachers couldn’t be happier with me.

Here’s a weird one for you: going to gym class and forgetting my exercise clothes only to have a fellow student buy them for me at the student store. I’m forever in that kid’s debt.

But sometimes school can’t last forever (bummer). Sometimes I have to ride the bus home…and then a foot ferry…and then a military grade submarine…and then an airplane. Did I leave anything out? How about me going to school in a really tiny building, almost microscopic. And then once I get to class, I try to find a seat, but all the desks and seats have graffiti on them.

There are a lot of different ways for a subconscious to tell a guy how inadequate he really is. Is there something else my brain is trying to tell me? Do I really need a reminder of how I’ve only made a 60 cent profit this entire time of selling my writing? Do I really need the point driven home that I couldn’t even make it as a library scientist (because they wouldn’t hire me in the first place)? Do I need to be told over and over again how all of my work experience has been voluntary?

Not everybody’s life can be rainbows and skittles. Very few people can say they’re part of the 1%. Should they start having high school dreams too? What exactly constitutes success? Money? Fame? Happiness?

I don’t claim to have all of the answers, but if my subconscious is going to keep throwing these high school dreams at me, it should at least have the decency to provide me with honest answers about myself. And if my subconscious doesn’t have all the answers, who does, and is this person within reach? So many questions, not enough answers. It’s the story of my life, even when I was still going to high school.

　

***MOVIE QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“I’ve been doing some web design.”

-Peter Parker aka Spiderman from “The Amazing Spiderman 2”-

"The Adventures of Unemployed Man" by Erich Origen and Gan Golan

In a blog about fast-paced books, it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that I would include graphic novels. Never mind the fact that this particular graphic novel has the thickness of my pinky finger. It may be over before you know it, but it’s worth every second you spend reading it. It’s called “The Adventures of Unemployed Man”. It was published in 2010 and still has relevance in today’s world with the crappy economy. Think of all the factors that contribute to the destruction of the American economy and make a superhero parody out of those same factors. You’ve got the main character who starts out promoting “positivity” among poor people and encouraging them to “stop being lazy” and “get a job”. You’ve heard these lines before, I’m sure. And then, wouldn’t you know it, the same superhero who promotes these ideas gets fired himself and is forced to rub shoulders with economic outcasts such as the “Angry White Man” and the “Single Mother Woman”. I’m not sure what the exact names of these superheroes are, but they do serve as prototypes for those most affected by the economy. And guess what? The main villain of the story is a gigantic thumb that crushes everybody underneath it. The symbolism in these characters is so obvious that it forces you to giggle every couple of pages. But as you’re giggling, make sure you soak in the message of the graphic novel as much as possible. It’s okay to feel down about how the economy is hurting you, but if you’re going to be positive, be positive about your ability to affect change, not about being forced to smile as you’re being raped by the top 1%. The message couldn’t be clearer if it was written in a bright red neon noodle hovering over Las Vegas. The authors who wrote this graphic novel may have been working in such a short space, but that’s all they needed in order to make a complete story. Who cares if they make flash fiction look like the thickness of a Stephen King novel? It’s a damn good story. I give it five stars.

　

***POLITICAL DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

BILL MAHER: Did Barack Obama double the national debt?
MICHELLE CARUSO-CABRERA: What’re you all looking at me for?
BILL MAHER: Because you’re the only one crazy enough to say yes!

-Real Time With Bill Maher-