"Cyborgs and Sorcery" by Marie Krepps

BOOK TITLE: Cyborgs and Sorcery

AUTHOR: Marie Krepps

YEAR: 2017

GENRE: Fictional Short Stories

SUBGENRES: Sci-Fi and Fantasy

GRADE: Pass

A downtrodden cyborg must find four sacred items in order to restore peace to the warring kingdoms in which she lives. A warrior and her falcon companion must stick together in order to survive being hunted a clan of monstrous wizards. A treasure hunter struggles to remain calm as her crow companion keeps running his mouth in the middle of a search. A security guard’s family prepares a huge dinner celebration for him knowing it could be the last time they see him. Four tales of intense drama, cybernetic awesomeness, and mystical wisdom have been unleashed onto the world by the always prolific Marie Krepps. She proves once again that even the shortest of stories can pack the biggest punch.

Of all the stories in this collection, my favorite would have to be Mason’s Promise a.k.a. the one about the warrior and her falcon friend. The kinship between Celeste (the warrior) and Mason (the falcon) is as realistic as it is captivating. They have their arguments every now and then, but in the end, they always have each other’s backs. If a story is going to be called Mason’s Promise, you’d better believe there’s going to be some heavy trust and familial bonding. While I won’t spoil the ending, I will say that it’ll hurt worse than a falcon claw ripping your heart out. It hurts because Marie Krepps makes you care about these characters. Her stories have always been a vicarious experience for any reader, but this one exemplifies it the most.

I’ve always praised Marie’s abilities to show instead of tell and this short story collection will be no different. I’ve already mentioned how much of a heart-wrenching story Mason’s Promise is. But what about the others? What about Four Items (take a wild guess which one this is)? A cyborg’s quest to find her own humanity is always compelling since there are some humans in the real world who have the same struggle. Welcome Home, Brother has an ending that nobody will see coming, but when it hits you, it hits like a wrecking ball to the gut. Red Stone will be a huge deal for millennials due to the wonderfully placed reference of a certain 1980’s cartoon about vehicles that change into giant robots. Come to think of it, there isn’t a single bad story in this collection. There’s something in it for everybody even if sci-fi and fantasy aren’t your go-to genres.

One more strength I would like to point out is that Cyborgs and Sorcery is, and I’m not completely sure on this number, the sixteenth book published by Marie Krepps (if you’re counting stories she published under her real name of Ashley Uzzell). No matter what the number actually ends up being, this latest addition to her personal library shows that she has longevity in her career as an author. She is durable when it comes to writing long novels and she sneaks in a few short jabs with her collections. And the best part about her having this much mileage? She’s still a young adult who has a bright future ahead of her. If she continues to write wonderful stories like these, she won’t have to worry about the future ever again.

If you’re looking for awesomely-written short stories that will keep you entertained throughout this rollercoaster of a ride, look no further than Cyborgs and Sorcery. Yes, it will feel like it’s over too soon, but that’s the beauty of Marie Krepps stories: there will always be more because she’s the iron woman of Generation Y. No matter what book of hers you decide to pick up, she will never disappoint and she will earn your respect from the very first line. Excellent work, Marie! How does a passing grade sound to you?

Valentine's Day

***VALENTINE’S DAY***

Valentine’s Day is now in our rearview mirrors and for many single people out there, that’s a good thing. They like to call it Singles Awareness Day because they don’t have anybody to share their special day with. I used to be just as angry and bitter about it as anyone else who hated this holiday. And then when this year’s Valentine’s Day came and went, I realized something important for coping with future February 14^th holidays.

How is this day different from any other? It doesn’t have the magic and joy of Christmas. It doesn’t have the dark fantasy charisma of Halloween. It doesn’t have the food devouring of Thanksgiving. It’s just a normal day of the year. Yes, it’s love themed and there are a lot of chocolates and candy available. But if it’s sweet treats you want, get a pack of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups at your local convenience store. If you want a stuffed teddy bear, buy one on Amazon any other day of the year. If you’re in a relationship and you have to wait until February 14^th to get some true romance in, there’s something wrong with your chemistry. To my way of thinking, celebrating romance one day a year is like celebrating any other mundane activity whether it’s doing laundry, washing dishes, or going to work.

Would you like to take any guesses as to how I spent my Valentine’s Day? I can tell you that it wasn’t anything like last year where I ate my sorrows away with a large Pizza Hut pizza. Sure, my “heavy metal of the day” on Face Book was “This Love” by Pantera, but that’s not the point. I spent February 14^th doing laundry, not only my own, but also my parents’. My parents are Baby Boomers who can’t climb the steps as fast as they used to, so they rely on me to ferry clothes up to the garage to wash and dry them. Not only do we now have fresh laundry, but my mom has gained a lot of appreciation for having me around the house (not that she didn’t already have it to begin with). In between doing loads of my parents’ laundry, I watched WWE Smackdown and ate take-out sushi that my brother James brought home.

I find as I get older that I appreciate low-key events more often. I like low-key holidays, low-key vacations, and low-key concerts. Yes, most of the concerts I go to are heavy metal and hard rock, but instead of getting fucked up in the mosh pit, I take a seat in the bleachers. Sitting down between bands is easy on my legs, which is why I can no longer attend shows at the Showbox venues in Seattle or Studio 7 in the same city: they don’t have chairs. I even asked if I could bring my own beanbag chair to the Showbox and though the nice lady agreed I should be able to do that, they can’t accommodate me in that department. At 31-years-old and tipping the scale in the 300 district, I have to start thinking low-key, which includes being in a neutral mood on Valentine’s Day.

It’s funny, because I posted a synopsis in my folder at the WSS about a short story dealing with Valentine’s Day in a negative light. The story would have been called “I Don’t Believe In Love” and would be about a theater student doing a passionate monologue on how exclusive the holiday is. Instead of writing that short story, I wrote a chapter of Demon Axe where Daniel Mercer a.k.a. The Lord of the Pit was tortured with his own genre of music. Great stuff, huh? It’s like something out of A Clockwork Orange. Or it could be like Tales From the Hood with fully-clothed characters.

The only Valentine’s Day thing I really did was buy a gift for my beta reader Marie Krepps. I brag about her every chance I get, so it’s only natural that I get her something nice from her Amazon wish list. In a way, she could be my valentine despite the fact that she’s already married with four lovely daughters. Then again, valentines don’t have to necessarily be love interests. One year I had my black cat Pete as my valentine. Pete has since passed on to the Rainbow Bridge. But goddamn, he was a sweet little valentine!

Depending on whom you are or what your circumstances entail, Valentine’s Day can either be the happiest day of your life or the most miserable. If you like this holiday, more power to you and I wish you infinite happiness. If you hate this holiday with a passion, you don’t have to. If you’re really that starved for romantic affection, masturbate to some sexy You Tube videos. That’s what I did one year and those endorphins came rushing in like…well, you see where I’m going with this. But if masturbating isn’t your thing, then find some way to occupy your time. As long as your mind and spirit are busy with something to do, Valentine’s Day will be just as neutral to you as it is to me.

We’ve got ears, say cheers!

***DEMON AXE, CHAPTER 15***

I’m getting closer and closer to the end of this first draft novel and I couldn’t be more excited! Chapter fifteen will start off with Daniel being released from his straps and knocking down the door to his room by bellowing into his microphone. Seems like a nice way to begin a chapter as far as I’m concerned, especially considering how Daniel Mercer has been easily-triggered throughout the whole story. He realizes how much responsibility he has on his shoulders and will now take this quest against Roger seriously. Or to put it in his oh-so-lovely terms, “Let’s fuck shit up!”

***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***

I have to be honest with you guys for a minute. I haven’t been writing as many Poison Tongue Tales 2 short stories lately, which means my character roster for the Dark Fantasy Warriors series is rapidly depleting. The next one on the chopping block will be Marco Said from “Staple Gun Gangster”, but after that, here are all the characters I have left:

1. Bear Man, Human Bassist (Demon Axe)
2. Dijas Kai, Lion Samurai (Screw the Zoo)
3. Scott Percival, Cyborg Soldier (Shield Me)
4. Seven, Undead Prophet (The Theomancer)
5. Sonia Marquez, Human Mixed-Martial Artist (Demon Axe)

Your eyes do not deceive you. After Marco Said, there will only be five Dark Fantasy Warriors left, which will be just enough to complete my 100 Characters Meme by the time they’re finished. In this case, the meme will be used for drawings that I’ve done in color, which dates back to early 2016 (the year of death). I know doing Deviant Art memes isn’t the most exciting thing one can do with his or her time, but to my way of thinking, this will be my way of celebrating a milestone.

***CYBORGS AND SORCERY***

About a week ago, Marie Krepps asked me to beta read four short stories of hers which will ultimately be part of a published collection called Cyborgs and Sorcery. I’ve gotten through her two longest stories and she seemed happy with my snarky critiques. The next two stories are only three or four pages long, give or take, so on the day of my choosing I can blow through both of them and write a passing grade review for the collection the same day.

***JOKE OF THE DAY***

Q: What did Avril Lavigne say to Bullwinkle?

A: Hey, hey! You, you! I don’t like your squirrel friend!