Cancel Culture Doesn't Exist

There are two potentially toxic mantras that are competing for the most real estate in my not-so-heavenly brain. One of them is, “It’s only offensive when I do it.” The other is, “Everyone’s excited to learn that I’m an author, until they actually read what’s inside my books.” In case you couldn’t tell, my hands are covered in blood when it comes to offensive content that could easily get me in trouble. It doesn’t matter how many bars of Chandrika soap I keep in my bathroom closet, and goddamn do I have a lot of them, because blood doesn’t come off without a fight. Or a war, depending on how deep my offenses run. I’ve tiptoed across the thin line of discussing both sides of “cancel culture”. Am I against it? Am I for it? Do I not have an opinion of it at all? After wrestling with my brain in a match that could break Dave Meltzer’s five-star scale, I’ve come up with a suitable conclusion: “cancel culture” doesn’t exist. I can’t have an opinion on something that isn’t real. It’s like the boogeyman, three little pigs, and Pinocchio: a complete work of pure fiction, I mean, perfection.

Sure, there are celebrities and authors who have a less than stellar record when it comes to disgusting beliefs. J.K. Rowling and her transphobic tweets come to mind as well as John Cleese’s support for her. Rosario Dawson and her mother beating the shit out of a transgender handyman is even worse, for obvious reasons. Marilyn Manson being an abusive boyfriend to every woman he’s ever come in contact with? Cue the shivers. Some offenses are worse than others, but unless the public figure is dead or in jail, their career isn’t really going to suffer much. Sure, the first wave of criticism will hurt like hell, but these celebrities and others have their core base that will stick with them through thick and thin. They know that. They take advantage of that, because they know they can get away with it. No matter how rotten a celebrity acts, they will always have their supporters despite a large chunk leaving for higher ground.

Even if a celebrity does get fired from whatever job they’re doing, it won’t be long until they find another. Adam Blampied was accused of sexual harassment when he was working for wrestling website Cultaholic, so he was fired. You want to know what he’s doing now? Working for Wrestle Talk instead, although he has gone to great lengths to redeem himself, so there’s that. You know who doesn’t give a shit about making amends? Louis C.K., who was accused of masturbating in front of women whenever he damn well felt like it. You know what he’s doing now? Same thing he’s been doing for years: standup comedy. He even has some new punch-down material handy: talking shit about non-binary people, the Parkland shooting victims, and Auschwitz. Lovely. Just fucking lovely. Being “canceled” is not the end of the world. It seems like it at first, but facing mass criticism can easily be deterred by either listening and making amends or staying off of social media for a while.

Do some celebrities deserve mass criticism? Absolutely. But will they go away forever because of it? Hardly. If cancel culture really was as effective as everyone fears it is, then Donald Trump would have never been elected president. His bigotry, insensitivity, and predatory behavior would have gotten him canceled a long time ago. Calling Mexicans rapists and murderers would have kept him out of the white house forever. But it didn’t, because cancel culture doesn’t exist. Jair Bolsonaro would have been thrown out on his ass for threatening to punch a woman. Vladimir Putin would have been eighty-sixed decades ago for being a dictator who assassinated his political enemies. Kim Jong-Un wouldn’t have an entire country brainwashed and obedient if cancel culture really cost people their livelihoods.

While mass criticism isn’t the end of the world, it isn’t completely without merit. In a free democracy, we can criticize whoever we want for whatever reason we want. People call cancel culture censorship when really it’s just the other side of free speech, which is supposed to be a double-edged sword. If one racist celebrity gets to spew their venom, his audience has the right to criticize him for it. By the same token, refusing to watch a standup comedian’s shows because of their vitriol is not the same as censorship. It’s not like Ryan Long’s standup specials are required viewing for college. It’s not like they contain important material for a top secret mission. People can pick and choose what they watch and what they don’t watch. Nobody is owed an audience; they have to work for it. Bill Maher complains about cancel culture all the time, yet he doesn’t produce anything worth watching. He called comic book nerds little children, he called fat people virgins who couldn’t see their own dicks, he calls millennials entitled and lazy, and he called COVID-19 a Chinese virus. Is his show over? Hardly. But do people have the right to not watch it? Absolutely. This isn’t A Clockwork Orange. There are no eye-bracers or straightjackets.

Cancel culture being nonexistent is something I’m going to have to remember for myself going forward. As I’ve said earlier, I’ve got some serious blood on my hands when it comes to my creative writing. I’ve used words in my poetry that I’d never say in a public space. I’ve written about undesirable characters even in the eyes of the reader. I’ve misrepresented sex and romance, sometimes to an absurd degree. Maybe there’s some truth in the idea that my audience will sing a different tune about their excitement for me once they crack open one of my books. I could give the perfectly acceptable answer of, “I’m sorry and I’ll do better next time” and that’s something I should be doing anyways. I should be improving my work. I should own up to my mistakes. I should make amends with the people I’ve hurt with my writing. I’ll do all of that. In fact, I’ll apologize to you all right now for fucking up as badly as I did. Will I be forgiven? Maybe. Maybe not. Honestly, being truthful and kind to my audience is more important to me than potentially losing my career. Yes, cancel culture doesn’t exist, but that doesn’t mean you all don’t deserve a sincere apology. Take notes, J.K. Rowling. You too, John Cleese. Make amends while you still can. We’re not too sensitive; you’re just too disgusting.

That’s something else that needs to be addressed: if the audience doesn’t like a celebrity’s work, it’s not the audience’s fault. It’s the celebrity’s fault for not putting out a decent product. Blaming the audience for your failures says to the world that you’re unable to take criticism. While cancel culture is still nonexistent, I know deep in your heart you don’t like to hear criticism. The more you listen to criticism and improve from it, the less likely you are to hear it in the future. Everybody has room to be better at their crafts. Stephen King may be the most recognizable author in the universe, but the way he sexualizes women in his books is absolutely atrocious. He doesn’t have to lose his career over it, but he owes it to himself and his audience to improve his writing. That’s what we all should do: improve ourselves. Life is evolution. You either fold or you get better. I don’t know about you, but I think getting better is the superior choice. Unless of course you’re like Harvey Weinstein and you raped every woman you came in contact with, in which case, your career is not only over, but you’re spending the rest of your life in prison. Some things can be atoned for, others are too late. Hitler didn’t need a hug. Trump doesn’t need a redemption arc. Vladimir Putin doesn’t need self-improvement. When human life is at stake, prison is the answer.

But no matter how bad things get, people and their legacies will always be subjective. Trump has his supporters despite everything he’s done. J.K. Rowling still has her defenders. People still watch WWE despite the fact that they have a business relationship with Saudi Arabia…and that they did necrophilia comedy in 2002…and that they made fun of Jim Ross’s colon surgery in 2005…You know what? I could go on forever when it comes to WWE’s offenses. But no matter how many times they win the yearly award for Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic, they’ll still have their defenders and supporters. Vince McMahon would have been canceled a long time ago, but he wasn’t, because cancel culture doesn’t exist. He can be criticized. He can be protested against. He can be pressured. But kicked out of the WWE? Hardly. While the audience does have the loudest voices, they’re not the boss who makes all the decisions. They can influence decisions, but they don’t get the final say. Even in an American democracy, that proves to be the case over and over again with our politicians.

We all want to have our dream careers to carry us through life. We don’t want that taken away from us. It’s natural to feel that way. But a dream career isn’t everything. Some things are more important, like integrity, honesty, kindness, and humility. There’s always room in your life to be a good person. If you hurt somebody unintentionally, apologize profusely. Don’t do it to save your career. Do it because you’re a good person who values love. Don’t do things in the name of mass support. Do them because they’re the right things to do. Everything we do has a consequence even if it doesn’t always mean the end of a career. J.K. Rowling has millions of dollars and won’t go away anytime soon. But the damage she’s done with her transphobia has grave consequences for the world at large and undermines every progressive belief she had before that side of her came out. Her readers will be afraid to be themselves. They may even resort to suicide if they believe there’s no avenue for help. We as creators have the power to influence the world. Use it wisely.

"Wrestling, Issue Three" by What Culture

BOOK TITLE: Wrestling, Issue Three

AUTHORS: What Culture Staff

YEAR: 2017

GENRE: Nonfiction

SUBGENRE: Wrestling Bookazine

GRADE: Mixed

Ah yes, the third edition of What Culture’s Wrestling magazine, complete with a list of one hundred greatest wrestlers of all time, Adam Blampied’s creative take on how to do the anonymous Raw General Manager angle, an article on the hyperbolic WWE videogame All-Stars…and also…typos. Lots and lots of typos. It appears the second verse is the same as the first when it comes to these What Culture magazines and their typos: they’re so frequent that it’s hard to give them passing grades. Some readers can easily forgive these typos. I can be forgiving from time to time, but not when they happen so often that it’s painfully obvious. Please, What Culture, find a fresh pair of eyes to read over your material before publishing it.

And while we’re at it with the negative aspects of the magazine, I could have done without a certain interview question for ring attendant SoCal Val. Yes, the questions are supposed to be wild and crazy fun and not to be taken too seriously, I get that. But when the interviewer asked, “If you could punch any animal, what would it be?”, my heart just sank. The answer wasn’t any better; SoCal Val said she would gladly punch cats because they’re “entitled and lazy”. Even as I type this, I’m visualizing an ASPCA commercial with Sarah McLaughlin’s music playing in the background. Why would this question even be considered comical or silly? It’s neither. It’s psychotic.

But even with these glaring flaws, this magazine is actually fun to read in hindsight. I particularly enjoyed Stephanie McMahon’s Crimes Against Wrestling because it’s brutally honest when talking about someone like her who hates criticism. In short, Stephanie took up too much screen time on WWE television, condescended to wrestlers more deserving of the spotlight than her, and didn’t get any comeuppance for her sins. This isn’t just annoying villain work; it’s downright disgusting. This article was so well-written and so fleshed-out that I’m legitimately hoping Stephanie McMahon reads it and gets something out of it. She won’t, but I’m still holding out hope. Kudos to the author for calling her out like that. We need more of that in our wrestling literature.

Another article I enjoyed was the one that extensively talked about the art of blading, or drawing blood in a safe and believable way in a wrestling match. When done correctly, it can enhance the drama of any match and make the wrestlers look like a million books. When done stupidly and excessively, it can shorten careers and numb the audience. As a wrestling fan growing up in the 1990’s and 2000’s, I loved ECW and their ultra-violent matches where disqualifications didn’t apply. As an adult reading this article, I have a new perspective as to why such bloody wrestling isn’t sustainable. The litany of injuries caused by excessive blood loss was one of the many factors that led to ECW’s permanent closure in 2001. This article on blading was educational and fascinating at the same time. You learn something new every day. I know I did.

Just like Issues One and Two before it, Issue Three of What Culture’s Wrestling magazine can actually be an enjoyable read if you’re willing to overlook the typos. As an author myself, I try my best to avoid typos as often as possible and it gets to a point where even I need an unbiased editor to look at my writing for me. All in all, typos are easy to fix and I hope What Culture can learn something from this experience. A mixed grade will go to this fun, but flawed reading adventure.

"Wrestling, Issue One" by What Culture

BOOK TITLE: Wrestling, Issue One

AUTHORS: What Culture Staff

YEAR: 2016

GENRE: Nonfiction

SUBGENRE: Pro-Wrestling Bookazine

GRADE: Mixed

The articles can be fascinating to any hardcore wrestling fan, but not if they suffer from the same typographical errors as the next volume in the series. Vince McMahon’s first name was spelled without an N, the word match had its A capitalized, the word to was all-caps for no apparent reason, need I name more? This wouldn’t be too big of an issue if the typos were few and far between, but they occur so frequently that I can’t give this bookazine a passing grade. A reputable editor with a fresh set of eyes could have easily pinpointed these glaring mistakes and polished this otherwise fine piece of reading material to higher standards.

Typos aside, the articles were actually fun to read, with the glaring exception of WWE vs. Internet Fans. To me, that just sounded like a bitter old man ranting and raving about the inevitable emergence of the internet, as if this new technology is somehow to blame for wrestling being as bad as it can be sometimes. It seems uncharacteristic of What Culture’s writing staff to put out such an article considering they themselves are wrestling critics and employ a mostly millennial workforce. Maybe this particular article author was an outsider from the beginning, I don’t know.

But enough about the negativity. Let’s talk about my two favorite articles in this whole bookazine. Let’s begin with Britney Pillman’s story about how her father, Brian, died of a heart attack while preparing for a WWF pay-per-view. To hear the author describe Britney’s pain as she grew up with a drug-addicted stepmother and without a loving father, it tugs at the heartstrings and makes the reader want to legitimately root for her life to improve. While Britney is in a better place since the tragic incident, she did miss out on royalty payments from the WWF that instead went to the drug-addicted stepmother Melanie Pillman. I wouldn’t wish such poverty and heartache on my worst enemy. We’ve all had to deal with toxic people at one point or another, but I think any reader can agree that Britney and her siblings need a permanent vacation from them. That’s what the author of the article did for me as a reader: put me in the role of cheerleader.

And of course, Adam Blampied’s undying creativity will always be my favorite part of What Culture’s past. Although his recent sex scandal puts me in a tough position with regards to his fandom, I can at least enjoy his vision for how he would book Rey Mysterio’s first World Championship run in WWE. No more will the lovable luchador be jobbed out to everybody and their uncle. He’ll win matches by the skin of his teeth, like a true underdog hero is supposed to. He’ll have credible opponents to put him over the moon. He’ll have blood-curdling storylines that aren’t nearly as despicable with Eddie Guerrero’s legacy as real life was. If Rey Mysterio had been booked under Adam Blampied’s guidance, I would have been a bigger believer in this ultimate underdog. But as it is…

The negatives of this bookazine shouldn’t turn you away from what is ultimately a fun read for all wrestling fans. Typos are easy to fix and even if they wanted to keep the anti-internet fan article, readers could just skip over it. There’s a top 100 wrestling match list,  a fantasy world cup tournament, a nice juxtaposition between Bray Wyatt and his eerie theme song, too many wonderful articles to name. Though not perfect, this work of nonfiction will get a respectable mixed grade out of me.

"Wrestling, Issue Two" by What Culture

BOOK TITLE: Wrestling, Issue Two

AUTHORS: What Culture Staff

YEAR: 2016

GENRE: Nonfiction

SUBGENRE: Wrestling Bookzine

GRADE: Mixed

In all the time I’ve spent reviewing books online, I’ve never been more conflicted than after reading this one when deciding what grade to give it. I went into this wanting to give it four stars, maybe even five depending on how deeply the articles affected me. But then came the typographical errors, one after another until they stood out like a sore thumb.

Normally, I’m forgiving of these little mistakes as long as they don’t happen too often in the book. But at some point, I have to start holding the authors accountable and I think now is the time to do it. This bookzine clearly could have benefited from several pairs of fresh eyes when it came to editing. For Christ’s sake, James Dixon’s name was spelled Dioxn. CM Punk’s name was spelled with a lowercase P. And don’t ask me what Mssr is supposed to be, because I don’t know the answer myself. Bottom line: these guys need a more reputable editor.

But I’d be lying if I said those errors completely sucked the enjoyment I got out of reading this bookzine. The content itself is actually fun to read. Some of my favorite articles included Jack the Jobber’s analysis of Lucha Underground, King Ross’s Twitter responses, Axl Rotten’s biography, and Adam Blampied’s fantasy booking of Damien Sandow’s failed Money in the Bank cash-in.

The article about Lucha Underground reminded me a lot of a novella I wrote called Occupy Wrestling with its dark fantasy references and brutal matches. I’d watch the hell out of that show if I knew what channel it was on. Damn it, I want some cartoons and magic in my wrestling!

King Ross was his usual funny self when answering Twitter questions. My favorite response had to be his takedown of the Fastlane pay-per-view concept. “It’s the Fastlane to Wrestlemania! Most of your fans aren’t old enough to drive!” I got a good chuckle out of that one. I also liked his sarcastic butchery of the Divas Championship. Does anybody really mess a title belt with pink butterflies and stereotypical designs on it? Not really.

Axl Rotten’s story was easily the most heartbreaking of the entire bookzine. Here was a man who struggled with child abuse and drug addiction his whole life, but was really the most down-to-earth, sweetest guy anybody ever knew. His Axl Rotten persona was just a persona, nothing more, nothing less. He eventually died in 2016 from a drug overdose in a McDonald’s bathroom and it was before he had the chance to finish his own memoir.

And finally, sex scandal aside, I will always praise Adam Blampied’s storytelling abilities, especially as they relate to his fantasy booking of WWE angles. He actually is a bona fide creative writer, so he knows how to build tension and generate useful plot devices. In the case of Damien Sandow, he would be booked to be an arrogant authority figure who made the heroes miserable rather than be booked how he actually was in the real world: a jobber to everybody and their uncles.

This What Culture production is a must-read for any and all wrestling fans, typos be damned. Don’t let the three-star rating I’m giving it turn you away from the creativity and magic dripping from the pages. The guys at What Culture are hardworking, talented people and they deserve their slice of the literary pie. Enjoy!

Brandon Sanderson's Rules of Magic

***BRANDON SANDERSON’S RULES OF MAGIC***

You’re probably wondering why I’m posting a blog entry about Brandon Sanderson when I haven’t read a single one of his books (yet). Well, it all began when I started seeing the author’s name plastered across many Good Reads forums and status updates. I had to check out what all of the hubbub was about, so I looked him up on Wikipedia. Not only is he a fantasy author with many accolades and publications to his name, but he came up with three rules for magic powers when writing stories. These rules were designed to cut down on Deus Ex Machina situations and present something that was believable to even the most skeptical audiences. Adam Blampied, a contributor to the pop culture website What Culture, once complained that magic didn’t have any boundaries and therefore created too many unseen variables and impossible situations for the heroes. He has a valid point, one that I’d like to answer with Brandon Sanderson’s three rules for magic:

1. An author’s ability to solve conflict satisfactorily with magic is directly proportional to how well the reader understands said magic.
2. Limitations are greater than powers.
3. Expand what you already have before adding something new.

When it comes to my own writing, I may have broken these three rules at least a dozen times, maybe two or three dozen. I haven’t had any complaints from my readers about Deus Ex Machina endings, but that doesn’t mean my magical stories didn’t have the potential for them.

For example, some of you may have read a short story I wrote called “Dark Fantasy Rock Goddess”, where a singer-songwriter named Autumn Smith hires a sorcerer mercenary named Bloodshark to be her bodyguard during a performance in a rowdy orc bar. Bloodshark has the ability to throw lightning, ice, and fire spells willy-nilly with as little or as much power as he wants, no exceptions. I never established limits on Bloodshark’s powers nor did I specify what they were until the battle scene. He ended up slaughtering the entire audience of that orc bar with his magical abilities alone. Because Autumn has no magic powers of her own, she’s helpless against Bloodshark and succumbs to his might. The point of the story wasn’t the magic itself; it was the twist at the end where Bloodshark reveals himself to be an obsessive fan who doesn’t take no for an answer from any of his female clients. That twist could have very well been my saving grace when it comes to avoiding Deus Ex Machina.

While I have a good track record for writing believable endings, it doesn’t mean I’m undefeated. I recently wrote a short story called “Burning Dragon”, where a humanoid dragon mercenary (man, I’m obsessed with mercenaries!) named Brock Soulburn is hired to retrieve a magical demon mask called Night Terror that originally belonged to a tribe of barbaric orcs (I’m also obsessed with orcs!). The mask comes to life and terrorizes Brock in the same way Bugs Bunny would terrorize Elmer Fudd: with silly cartoonish antics, of course. Brock gives up on his mission, but teams up with Night Terror to rip off the orc tribe of its gold. In the final moments of the story, Brock wears Night Terror like a real mask and suddenly his fire-breathing powers are more devastating than before and also include the ability to steal souls of everybody who gets torched. Again, there was no mention of these abilities before, but Edward Davies, a stalwart participant in the WSS contests, told me that he believed the ending because the situation reminded him of the Jim Carrey movie from the 90’s called “The Mask”. I’d trust Edward with my life, so I don’t have much of a reason to doubt his judgment. But there’s still that lingering threat of my readers crying Deus Ex Machina if they took a gander at “Burning Dragon”.

As I said at the beginning of this entry, I’ve never read a Brandon Sanderson book before, so I don’t have the benefit of absorbing his writing style and subconsciously applying it to my own writing. But if someone with his accolades says that Deus Ex Machina endings will kill a good story, you’d better believe every word. These kinds of endings used to be popular in ancient Greek theatre, but in modern times, they get scoffed at and rightfully so.

And while you’re establishing limits and rules for your story’s magic system, it’s important to remember that writing is designed to be invisible. Instead of explicitly listing these rules and limitations (which would be telling), sneak them in there through believable dialogue and little opportunities to use said magic (which would be showing). I do want to apply Brandon Sanderson’s logic to my writing, but it’s something I have to work on since authors are supposed to be stealthy when putting pen to paper. I’d like to think I’ve come a long way in the show vs. tell department ever since working with Marie Krepps. But make no mistake about it: stealthy writing takes lots of practice and you still might not get it right the first time. All authors struggle with showing instead of telling. All of them. Not some of them. Every last one of them, including my sensei herself, Marie, who openly admitted it to me one day.

If you have helpful tips to give to me or other authors as to how to stealthily establish limits in magical powers, don’t be shy about posting them. In the words of Red Green, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together.

***WEEKLY SHORT STORY CONTESTS AND COMPANY***

This past Saturday, I saw a concert at the Tacoma Dome where Shinedown was the second to last act to play onstage that night. The prompt for this week’s WSS contest is “Shine Down”. This coincidence couldn’t have been timed any better. The only way that could be any more awesome is if next week’s contest had a “Five Finger Death Punch” prompt. But for this week, my entry will be called “Soccer Sucks” (another school-themed story). It goes like this:

CHARACTERS:

1. Ben Troy, Sour Gym Student
2. Kira Lopez, Gym Teacher

PROMPT CONFORMITY: The soccer game takes place outside, where the sun will “shine down” upon the students and add to Ben’s crankiness due to the extreme heat.

SYNOPSIS: The one part about high school Ben dreads the most is physical education, particularly when they’re playing sports. He hates soccer the most and his anger shows on the field when he is (accidentally) struck with the ball and knocked to the ground several times. Ben blows off steam at his classmates before taking a permanent seat on the bench. Miss Lopez tries to talk him into getting back in the game, but after a series of false answers, Ben simply says, “The next guy who knocks me down is getting his ass kicked!”

***JOKE OF THE DAY***

Q: Where do Seattlites go to scratch the paint off of parked cars?

A: The Key Arena.