Friday, March 9, 2018

Silent Warrior, Chapter 18


“In the case of The People vs. Scott George, how does the defendant plead?”

“Not guilty, your honor.”

Every eyeball in that courtroom gazed upon Scott with judgment and scorn. Dressed in a suit and tie passed down from his father, Scott could feel their hatred radiating off of his soul. His defense lawyer said not guilty, but his mind said otherwise. His face was more readable than Mr. Simpson’s desecrated chalkboard and the message written on it over and over again. So this was what defiance was like, Scott thought to himself. This was what happened to anybody who dared to be more than mediocre and ordinary. He could feel his dreams being crushed like poison pills under the weight of this courtroom’s table knife. His face drooped with depression and self-loathing.

The judge banged his gavel and said, “We will now hear the opening arguments from both sides. Mr. Prosecutor, you have the floor.”

A lanky gentleman who towered over the rest of the courtroom personnel took the center stage and held his hands in front of him, eyeballing everyone with seething persecution. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,” he started. “The defense will have you believe that this is just a simple case of a vengeful teacher lording it over his pupils. But I now ask you, who is the vengeful one here? A man who gives out C-minuses like it’s Christmas or an even younger man who plays mind games of his own by having sex with that man’s daughter? That’s really all this is: mind games.

“And guess what? Judging from Miss Adrienne Simpson’s absence from this courtroom, I’d say those mind games are working. Don’t forget that she is the victim in all of this, not Mr. Scott George. She is the one who will live with this mistake for the rest of her life. Fifteen years old is not an age for losing one’s virginity. It is an age in which she should be exploring the world around her. It’s an age in which she learns from greater sources of wisdom than an 18-year-old boy posing as a grown man.

“Members of the jury, don’t let the defense minimize this incident as some kind of BS technicality. This is a serious offense Mr. George committed and he must pay for all of the damage he’s done. Thank you, your honor.”

As the prosecutor took his seat and straightened his tie, Scott absorbed his harsh words like a sponge soaking up toxic chemicals. His posture grew worse, his saggy face became less defined, and it wouldn’t be long before the floodgates underneath his eyes opened for the final time. Final seemed like an appropriate word to him, whether that meant getting stabbed in prison or doing the job himself. The not guilty plea sounded less and less genuine with every second that passed.

The defense lawyer, a stocky man who would measure up to his opponent’s chest easily, took his turn at center stage and engaged his audience with a stern tone. “And why shouldn’t I minimize it?” he asked. “Is it because the status quo needs to be satisfied? Is it because technicalities are more important to us than the real issues of today’s justice system? Let’s not forget the real reason Adrienne Simpson isn’t here today. It’s not Scott George she’s afraid to face. It’s her own father, the one who made this 9-1-1 call to begin with.

“This is HIS war. All is fair in love and war, right? No tactic is too underhanded. No victory is too minor. As a history teacher who specializes in the art of war, Mr. Simpson lives by these mantras. But let’s be honest: if Scott George was only seventeen years old and Adrienne Simpson was fourteen, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. What is Mr. George supposed to do: break up with her and then start their relationship over again once she’s of age?

I know that this argument gets thrown around a lot in legitimate rape cases and for the most part it’s a valid statement. So let’s keep that statement valid by giving Mr. George a fair shake. Save your judgment and vitriol for someone who truly deserves it. Thank you, your honor.”

Scott picked his head up and wiped the sadness out of his eyes, if only for a minute. His lawyer patted him on the shoulder and assured him it would be okay. Would Scott believe such a thing was possible? Would anything be okay ever again? Would the damage continue even after the not guilty plea became an undisputed reality?

“Mr. Prosecutor, you may call your first witness to the stand,” ordered the judge.

The skyscraper of a human being took center stage once more and said in a commanding voice, “I’d like to call Ms. Aloysius Striker to the stand, please.”

Scott mouthed the words, “What the fuck?” as the living presence of his most brutal nightmares skulked to the witness box. Sure enough, there she was: no puppet strings, no puppet body, no worms, yet she still gave Scott violent shivers throughout his system. He could feel the maggots swarming in his intestines like villagers running away from a fire-breathing titan.

“Ms. Striker, I’ll start off by asking how you’re related to the defendant,” said the prosecutor.

“I’m Alan Young’s step mother,” she said in a trembling sob. The maggots grew even more restless inside Scott’s bowels. He didn’t know whether to shit himself or projectile vomit across the room.

“And who is this Alan Young you speak of?”

“He knew Scott George ever since they were in elementary school together. My step-son never got the education he wanted and it was all because of Scott’s vindictiveness. Alan never stood a chance. He was always sent to the principal’s office over minor occurrences. Scott used the system to his advantage and made sure my baby boy suffered for as long as humanly possible.” She wiped a singular tear from her eye and asked, “How is my step-son supposed to learn anything when he’s being held down?”

Scott whispered the word, “Bullshit!” and his lawyer patted him on the back to calm him down.

The prosecutor leaned on the edge of the witness box and said, “So what you’re trying to tell the jury here is that Scott George is a powerful man. He has so much power that he can use it for anything he wants, whether it’s for good grades or for making sure those he deems unworthy feel his wrath.”

“Objection, your honor.”

“Overruled. Please, Mr. Prosecutor, continue.”

“Before I was so rudely interrupted, I was going to ask you, Ms. Striker: based on your interactions with the defendant as well as your step-son’s interactions, do you believe it’s possible for Mr. Scott George to be manipulative enough to take a young girl’s virginity out of spite?”

“Objection, your honor!”

The rest of this conversation became a cluster-fuck of gibberish to Scott as he paid more attention to what his intestinal worms were going on about. They slithered around like spitting cobras and hurled their venom about. Scott’s head felt like a balloon ready to pop. His mind was also crawling with these toxic worms. And cockroaches. And faceless cheerleaders who proudly proclaimed they wanted to, “Bring out the gimp!” Sweat drizzled down his forehead and into his eyeballs, which were already going blacker than the lungs of a coal miner, an appropriate analogy for someone who could barely breathe.

And then it happened. Scott George plopped onto the floor limp as a noodle. The cacophonic rage swirled around him some more as he overheard his lawyer shouting, “Get some paramedics! He needs help!” Scott believed no amount of medical attention could give him the help he needed. An oxygen mask was only a fashion accessory. An IV needle was more of a weapon than a bastard sword. The paramedics could flood the courtroom with all of the equipment they wanted, but he made no mistake about it: nobody was coming to save him.

If there really were maggots and worms in his system, they would cannibalize him and leave him on the side of the road as a gigantic turd. How appropriate considering he felt like the lowest form of human shit imaginable. He didn’t know whether the judge wanted to send him to prison or a bottomless toilet. Either way, the future was dead, just like the democracy Mr. Simpson always rallied against.

He could hear Adrienne’s voice in the back of his head comforting him with soft, unintelligible words. How he wished for the feel of her silky hands against his cold skin. Fuck the legality of it all: love was love. But the judges and juries didn’t care about love in the first place. To them, it was just as expendable as democracy and the future themselves. Scott wanted to awaken from his blackness and check to see if Adrienne was really there, but what was the point?

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Silent Warrior, Chapter 17


“Scott Marcus George, place your hands behind your back. You’re under arrest for the statutory rape of Adrienne Melanie Simpson. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you can’t afford one, the state will provide you with free legal council. Do you understand these rights as I’ve read them to you?”

As chilling as those words were to hear, they couldn’t compare to the shrieks of terror from Scott’s own mother as he was dragged to the police vehicle in handcuffs. As he lay in his one-bunk jail cell with damp eyes, Scott replayed that morning in his head over and over again. He had just gotten home from serving detention. He finally had a calm moment with his only parent as they ate cereal together. And then the police obliterated that peace treaty by showing up at his house and reducing him to a convict.

Scott wiped away the tears welling up in his eyes for fear that other prisoners might see him like this and get some funny ideas. Yes, he was all alone in that cell with nothing but his thoughts, but even his own mind conspired against him in this dark time. Visions of anal penetration in the showers flooded his numbed out brain.

It hadn’t happened yet, but he could still feel Bubba’s hairy crowbar dick ripping his intestines to shreds. But instead of blood or shit coming out of his asshole, it was worms and maggots. Funny little creatures devouring his soul from the inside and leaving him with an empty shell. Scott wiped away even more tears, but the sounds of a knight stick banging against his cell bars brought him back to reality.

“Mr. George, your mother is here to see you. She don’t look happy,” said the guard.

He wasn’t lying. Beth George approached the bars looking like she saw the devil himself. Whatever tears Scott had in his eyes, his mother had an even bigger surplus of. Her hands trembled as she touched the bars and gazed deep into whatever was left of her son’s soul. “Scott…is it true? Did you really have sex with a young girl?” He just stared at her with blankness on his face, not even so much as a yes or no. “Answer me, damn it!” Beth screeched.

Scott sat up in his bunk bed and said, “Maybe I did. Maybe I didn’t. Whatever the case, I found something that neither you nor anybody else could give me: true love.”

“Scott, what the hell are you talking about?” wept Beth. “I’ve done nothing but love you this whole time. I know we haven’t been getting along lately, but that wasn’t because I didn’t love you. I’ve always loved you. But now…” She wiped away tears and snot with the back of her hand. “I don’t even recognize you anymore!”

“Well, that’s funny, because you look so familiar to me,” said Scott as he approached his mother. “In fact, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re someway related to Mr. Simpson. You both love to scream at the top of your lungs. You both like to intimidate your inferiors into getting what you want. You both orgasm yourselves inside out at the thought of me being sent to a military school. You say you do it all in the name of discipline and order. Well, my grades speak for themselves! I’ve got all the discipline I’ll ever need! How about some love every once and a while, huh?!”

“I’ve tried to give you love, Scott!” sobbed Beth. “I’ve tried to be easy with you! It wasn’t working! I can’t let you get complacent! And now here you are fucking little girls because you think they’re going to fill the void! Well, if you like sex so much, you’re going to get plenty of it in prison, I’ll tell you that right now! You did this to yourself, Scott! Now you’re going to live with the consequences for however long the judge says!”

“Listen to me, you crazy bitch!” shouted Scott. “If you and Mr. Simpson couldn’t get through to me, what makes you think a bunch of morons in orange jumpsuits are going to have any better luck? At least when I’m finally locked up, nobody will care if I fight back! Nobody’s coming to save the poor schmuck who gets his head kicked in by me! And if for some reason I get killed in the struggle, well, it’s been a damn good life and I’m more than ready to leave it!”

Pounding on the bars with closed fists, Beth bawled, “Stop talking like that, Scott! I don’t want you to die! I want you to realize what an asshole you are so that you can make something of yourself!”

“Oh, yeah right, like prison is going to be my ultimate education,” belted Scott. “They don’t teach things like Pythagorean Theorems and French grammar behind these walls. The prison system in this fucked up country takes innocent, damaged people like me and turns them into hardcore criminals. You can thank your conservative politicians for that one. How do I know all of this? Because I hate school and love education at the same time!”

Beth George collapsed onto the floor and soaked her knees in tears, all while Scott looked down on her with a stone cold expression. No pathetic display of emotion was going to shake his foundation that day. In his mind, he had come too far in this war against the system to be swayed by petty tears.

The mother used the jail bars to pick herself up and stared harshly into her son’s eyes while tears cascaded from her own. “If that’s how it’s going to be…then do me a favor, Scott. When your prison sentence is over, don’t even bother coming back home. You can go anywhere you want to when it’s all said and done. You can go live with that poor girl you fucked…you can live in the school’s tool shed…or better yet…you can go straight to hell!”

Beth scratched the bars and struggled to make her way down the hall when she heard her son say, “Whatever turns you on, Beth.”

She slowly turned around and hobbled back to Scott’s cell while asking in disbelief, “What did you call me?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but a few seconds ago, you just disowned me, right?” said Scott. “Well, as long as you’re throwing me away like a common piece of trash, we might as well be on a first name basis. You don’t want to be my mother anymore? You want to throw me to the wolves? Fine. Then I won’t bother calling you Mom anymore. You’re Beth now. You’re Beth fucking George!”

“You take that back, you sick bastard!” sobbed Beth as she scratched the bars yet again.

“You know what? You’re right. I do take that back. You’re not Beth George. You’re Beth Green! Green is your maiden name, right? Well, you better get used to being called that, because you’re even less of a wife than you are a mother. Dad is spinning in his grave like a pinwheel and it’s all your fault!”

“You monster!” shrieked Beth as she pounded on the jail bars like a silverback gorilla, prompting the guards to rush in and restrain her. Their tight grips on her arms and legs didn’t stop her from screaming vitriol at her now ex-son. “You bastard! You fucking piece of shit! I hope you rot in prison for the rest of your life! Hell, I hope you get sent to the gas chamber! You’re no son of mine! You’re a monster! You’re a fucking monster, Scott George!”

Just before Beth could be dragged through the doorway, Scott had a stranglehold on the bars as he roared, “I welcome the gas chamber, you stupid cunt! Hell, I’ll even settle for the electric fucking chair! There ain’t enough lightning in this world for me! I hope the state uses the whole fucking power grid against me! At least then I can get some goddamn peace and quiet for once! Fuck you, you stupid bitch!”

The white hot display of anger left Scott’s entire body juicy red. He breathed heavily as his lungs and heart worked overtime to keep him on his feet. Feeling his legs wobbling like gummy worms, he staggered back to his bunk bed and face planted onto the mattress. At this point he didn’t care if other prisoners or prison guards saw him cry. He was going to unleash his biblical flood of facial fluids into that one pillow. Drool, tears, snot, they all came rushing out of his system like a leaky oil pipeline.

His mind raced like a cheetah scurrying from rifle-wielding game hunters. He knew he would be a changed man once he got out of prison (if he was found guilty). Would he change so much that Adrienne wouldn’t recognize him anymore? Would she turn him away once he showed even once sign of aggression towards her? Would she abandon him at the thought of Scott being raped in the showers? All in all, he really felt like the world’s biggest pain in the ass, sodomy aside. To wait for him on the other side, let alone put up with his newfound outlook on life, required the patience of a saint. Adrienne, as young as she was, probably didn’t have a massive supply of that.

“I’m sorry, Adrienne…I’m so sorry!” whined Scott as he sank into a deep, haunted sleep.

Thurgood


PLAY TITLE: Thurgood
PLAYWRIGHT: George Stevens, Jr.
OPENING YEAR: 2006
GENRE: Historical One-Man Show
MATURE CONTENT: Racial Slurs
GRADE: Extra Credit

Thurgood Marshall reflects on his life from impoverished beginnings to becoming a well-known civil rights activist and Supreme Court justice. His budding wisdom was needed more than ever since he grew up during the Jim Crow era, when racism against black Americans came in the form of lynching, segregation, and an instilled feeling of inferiority. Through poignant debating skills, tireless research, and undying commitment to his cause, Thurgood Marshall paved the way for younger generations of black Americans by giving them a sense of pride and urgency. They need it now more than ever in the wake of Trump’s presidency, police brutality, and the rise of the alternative right.

I saw this play on February 25th, 2018 and the actor who played Thurgood was spot-on in his performance that afternoon. He spoke with candid authority, undying passion, and an encyclopedic knowledge of the law. When he said that the law will be his only weapon, you believed him, not just because of beforehand research, but because it felt organic coming out of this actor’s mouth. There were a few times when he stumbled over his words, but he was able to pick himself back up and keep going with his oratory as if nothing slowed him down. Even if you had the attention span of a five year old, you’d still be laser focused on this one-man show.

The actor’s body language was every bit as poignant as his debating skills and speech patterns. He recalled one time when he worked as a waiter in a predominantly white cafĂ©. The way he served his racist customer’s food and danced around all smiles was the perfect mask for hiding his anger on the inside. He knew being constantly called the N-word was wrong, but he put up with it because he was getting twenty dollar tips during a time when he was flat broke. It wasn’t until after being fired by his black boss that he realized there were more important things in this world than money. That’s a lesson we all need to learn if we’re to move forward. If you’re not paying attention to this lesson, you’re already waiting to be screwed.

But even the Murphy’s Law-style life story and emotional acting couldn’t prepare me for the doll comparison angle. When arguing against segregation, Thurgood had two dolls on the bench: a white doll and a black doll. He recalled research where he asked children questions like, “Which doll would you like to play with?”, “Which doll is better looking?” and “Which doll is evil?” The black children answered positively for the white doll and negatively for the black doll. That broke my goddamn heart. Taking self-esteem away from children no matter what color is disgusting as hell. But without this heart-wrenching scene, Thurgood wouldn’t have been able to make a strong case against Plessey vs. Ferguson. It hurts. It hurts badly. But it’s a truth that we all must be exposed to if we are to make progress. This part of the story was executed perfectly.

We need this kind of peak-performance acting in today’s far-right society. We need this kind of inspiration. We need this kind of message. I have no idea when this one-man play will be performed again, but if your city is hosting it, go see it without missing a beat. Even for those who are already on the correct side of history, your eyes will be opened much wider than before. Thurgood Marshall did a lot for this country, but we still have a long way to go until we reach perfect harmony. An extra credit grade will go to this excellently-acted show with an undeniable message.

"Tales of Mentara: The Portal" by Ashley Uzzell


BOOK TITLE: Tales of Mentara: The Portal
AUTHOR: Ashley Uzzell
YEAR: 2018
GENRE: Fiction
SUBGENRE: Fantasy Adventure
GRADE: Pass

A group of middle school friends find themselves trapped on a strange new planet when the sorcerer of the team, Charlotte, accidentally opens a portal to the other realm. Learning to adapt to this new environment proves tough when homesickness, uncooperative allies, and the distrust of an indigenous tribe threaten their chances of survival. With the threat of another group of invading warriors looming, Charlotte and her friends have to act fast if they want to live to tell their amazing story. They’re only kids, but everybody grows up eventually, even if it is a rapid ascent into maturity.

The first thing I want to applaud Ms. Uzzell on is her ability to promote five different main characters without any of them getting lost in the shuffle. This novel is relatively short, so she doesn’t have a large canvas to work with, which is what makes these characters’ developments all the more amazing. Charlotte and Lena are the motherly figures of the group while Daniel and Mindy are the innocent children and Fred is the rough and tough bad boy (but only on the outside). The more you delve into this story, the more you realize that they are just kids after all and they have their moments of raw emotions and soft feelings. That’s what makes this story real to me.

It’s also refreshing to hear parts of this story told through the points of view of the indigenous tribe. Despite the language barrier and primitive lifestyle, they actually have a lot in common with the “pale-skinned” main characters. They too are just kids who want to live a normal life after the stresses of this new world break them down. This goes to show that no matter where you are in the universe, you’ll always have someone to empathize with. The more empathy you have for your fellow humans, the less likely you are to hate them. This novel could be an allegory for racial harmony if you read between the lines.

And then you have the most heartbreaking part of this story, the homesickness the lead characters feel. They’ve been gone from their home world for what seems like forever and they’ve definitely earned their right to cry because of it. Earth has things like junk food, loving people, technology, and fuzzy animals. Meanwhile, this new world is in the midst of a war brewing between the indigenous tribe and much more powerful warriors called Bomen. These kids might as well have joined the Iraq War back in 2003…at their middle school age, no less. The loss of innocence makes the homesickness even harder to emotionally process. If you want to cry too, you have my permission (not that you need it).

All in all, this is a fun little adventure that anybody can enjoy regardless of their generation. Anybody can appreciate the messages of friendship, loyalty, and staying strong through all of the hardships. While Fred and Mindy are hard to cheer for in the beginning, they become more sympathetic as the story changes who they are. As a matter of fact, everybody in this story will feel the change brewing within them by the time all is said and done. A passing grade for this wonderfully crafted story!

Sunday, March 4, 2018

"Through the Shattered Glass" by Jeanie Clarke


BOOK TITLE: Through the Shattered Glass
AUTHOR: Jeanie Clarke (with Bradley Craig and Neil Cameron)
YEAR: 2016
GENRE: Nonfiction
SUBGENRE: Wrestling Memoir
GRADE: Mixed

Whether you know her as a villainous valet in WCW and WCCW or the one who told Steve Austin to drink his tea before it got “stone cold”, you will get an even deeper look into Jeanie Clarke’s life in this hard-hitting memoir. Toxic marriages to wrestlers Chris Adams and Steve Austin, seventeen years of pill addiction, estrangement from her daughter Jade, and a miserable living situation have all taken their toll on this poor woman to where she contemplated suicide at one point. Going through a successful rehab in her home country of England along with telling her own story was exactly what Jeanie needed to exorcise her psychological demons.

As compelling as Jeanie Clarke’s story is, the way it was written didn’t give me the chance to feel her emotions and turmoil early on. Typos aside, the writing style felt a bit rushed, like I was bouncing from situation to situation without being allowed to settle in. I like a good fast-paced style, but not at the expense of sensory details and showing instead of telling. I realize this is a celebrity memoir, but a fast pace and descriptive writing don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Don’t believe me? Ask Chris Jericho.

The rushed writing style only lasted for the first half of the book. Meanwhile in the latter half, the stories Jeanie tells about drug addictions, being stalked, living with racist neighbors, and having a borderline abusive marriage with Steve Austin are easily the most terrifying her memoir has to offer. She took all of those pills as a way to cope with her stresses and it soon spiraled out of control. I know it’s easy to judge people who choose drugs as a way to get over their problems. But to borrow a phrase from Dr. Phil, “I don’t look at her and ask why is she doing this. I look at her and ask, why not.” You want to cheer for Jeanie to get better and have a solid foundation for her children. Spoiler alert: she’s been clean for years now. It’s safe to say she earned her ending, and then some.

If you want some insight as to how the wrestling business works, you’ll get plenty of that from this memoir. The exhausting travel schedule, the injuries, the constant pain, and being creatively stifled are just some of the problems wrestlers face on a day-to-day basis. Taking prescription pills is just one of the ways they cope with it all. This was happening long before WWE started their Wellness Policy in 2005 following the untimely death of Eddie Guerrero. If stricter drug testing had been implemented earlier, who knows how many lives could have been saved. It’s depressing to think about and you feel that depression near the end of the book when Jeanie almost dies of drug-induced shock.

While a mixed grade isn’t the most desirable one I could give, I don’t want it to turn you, my audience, away from this book. Jeanie’s story is one worth listening to despite the rushed writing style. Drug addiction isn’t just something that “weak” people go through. It’s a universal affliction with so many psychological triggers that it’s amazing anybody can be rehabilitated at all. If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, seek help before it’s too late. Jeanie Clarke found help and she’s a better woman for it.

Friday, March 2, 2018

Silent Warrior, Chapter 16


Linda Williams sat comfortably on her couch enjoying a bowl of wheat cereal while watching her daily dose of MSNBC. While her “pet project” Scott George no doubt spent his Saturday in misery, Linda felt guilty about being able to enjoy hers, so much so that she could barely concentrate on the world news. “I sure hope Tom is enjoying his little triumph,” she said softly to herself before taking another bite of cereal.

The rampant pounding on her front door jolted her so much that she spilled her food on the hardwood floors. Her spine tingled at the sounds of a familiar voice screaming, “Linda! Open the damn door! We need to talk!” The pounding grew progressively louder with every second Tom Simpson was forced to wait. “I know you’re in there! No sense in hiding from me!”

“Oh, for god’s sake!” belted Linda as she marched over to the front door in bare feet and a nightgown. Sure enough, Tom stood there with his fists balled up and his teeth gnashed together like a venomous snake waiting to pounce. “This better not be what I think it’s about.”

Taking labored breaths, Tom let himself in the house much to Linda’s confused dismay. He said, “You need to have a little chat with Scott George. Oh, he showed up to detention like he said he would. It’s what he did after that made me so...UGH!”

“Two things,” said Linda with her arms crossed. “One, you don’t come barging into my house without me letting you in first. And two, once you’re in my home, you don’t demand things from me like you own the damn place. Both of those things could have gotten you arrested today and I wouldn’t mind seeing you in a cage, quite frankly.”

With a sickening smile, Tom said, “Arrested?  You’re going to have me arrested? Well, you better bring the entire police force and the SWAT team, because you’re going to fucking need them!”

“Well, look at you, tough guy. The same Tom Simpson who’s so anal retentive about swearing is suddenly unleashing some nasty words at me. If hypocrisy was against the law, your ass would have been gone a long time ago.” Linda pointed at her front door and barked, “Seriously, you’d better get out of my home before things go south. Get a massage. Sit in a hot tub. Meditate. Do something relaxing for the first time in your life and quit acting like a small child!”

“Speaking of small children, guess what your teacher’s pet did to my daughter,” said Tom while grabbing his boss’s arms. “They had sex behind my back. Lots and lots of sex! Can you imagine that slimy little creature Scott putting his lips and other body parts on someone else?” Tom shivered for extra dramatic effect.

Linda ripped her arms away from Tom and said, “That’s not my problem, Tom, so quit trying to make it mine. While I don’t condone underage sex, there’s not really much we can do about it. If Scott and Adrienne are in love, so be it. Don’t forget: you were in love at one point in your life. And then you threw it all away in a disgraceful divorce. Is that where you’re getting this attitude from?”

Tom pulled his glasses off and shouted, “You don’t know a damn thing about my marriage!”

Linda remained stone-faced as she stood up to her employee. “So why don’t you educate me about why you’re so upset. You are an educator, after all. That’s part of your job description. Tell me why you suddenly care about your daughter’s life now that she’s completely out of yours.” Tom’s haunted face stared off into the distance as he refused to respond. “Tom! Tom! Ground control to Major Tom! Hello?!”

“How old is Scott?” asked Tom.

“Eighteen. Why?”

Tom’s insane smile widened and was accompanied by clownish chuckles. “I got him! I got him by the balls!” He grabbed Linda’s arms once again and excitedly explained his viewpoint to her. “Think about this for a minute: Scott George is eighteen years old and Adrienne is only fifteen. The two of them openly confessed to having sex. That means…Scott just broke the law! Oh, this is too good! This is too fucking good!”

Once again shoving Tom away, Linda said, “Give me a break, you sick freak. Scott’s no more of a pedophile than you are a good history teacher. Three years difference between them doesn’t mean a damn thing in today’s world.” Shoving a finger in his face, Linda said in a low, angry tone, “I’m warning you, Tom, don’t you go through with this so-called case of yours. This is beyond vindictiveness. You’re talking about ruining a young man’s life before it even has the chance to begin, all because of a stupid technicality that shouldn’t be there!”

“Oh, Linda, you’re just as naĂŻve as Scott. For better or worse, the justice system in this country doesn’t care about circumstances. It doesn’t matter when young people are applying for a job. It doesn’t matter when they get suspended from school. It won’t matter when they’re sitting in the defendant’s chair with all eyes of the world judging them. The law is the law and it will be enforced. If you don’t believe me, ask any war protestor who’s sitting in jail over causing a traffic jam.”

Arms folded and death stare locked on her target, Linda sneered, “I’m warning you, Tom, if you press charges against Scott and turn his life upside down, I will fire you. I’ve been waiting a long time for an excuse to give you a pink slip. I think I may have just found it.”

“Well, look at you, Miss Social Justice Warrior,” said Tom with his hands on his hips. “You’re all about getting justice for women on college campuses who get gang raped at frat parties. You’re all about sending Alan Young to jail for trying to get away with less. But the minute statutory rape takes place and it involves one of your favorite students, you’re so quick to cover it up. Who’s the hypocrite now?”

“There are degrees, Tom!” shouted Linda. “There are circumstances! I don’t give a damn what the law says! Everybody is different! Every case is different! You can’t just paint them all with the same brush! Lord knows what else you’re applying that twisted logic to! Is that how you teach slavery in your history class?! By painting all black slaves with the same brush?!”

“Wow, your naivety really does astound me, Linda,” chuckled Tom while shaking his head. “Don’t you get it by now? This country has gone through the ugliest history imaginable and not a goddamn thing has changed. The ugliness never went away, Linda. It just showed itself in a different way. The same applies to the law, for better or worse. Unless Scott has the debating skills to back it up, he’s not going to make it with the wolves in that courtroom. I’ve tried to toughen him up to the world around him, but he’d rather be sheltered. Well, they don’t shelter people in the darkest parts of prison, I’ll tell you that right now!”

“Just know this, Tom…” said Linda with a trembling voice. “You will not have the support of this school or any of its officials. And just like your classes, you won’t have the support of your own pupils. You want to win this war? You’re going to win it on your own. Clean your belongings out of your office first thing Monday morning. You’re fired, Tom. Get out of my house!”

Tom’s maniacal chuckling caused him to double over before he said, “That’s okay, Linda. I don’t need anybody’s help to win this case. The law is on my side and that’s the only ally I’ll ever need. I don’t need you. I don’t need my ex-wife. I sure as hell don’t need my daughter’s help. Scott George is going to crash and burn because he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants like our sex ed program says to do.”

Before Tom could cross the threshold to the outside world, Linda stopped him with one last thing to say. “No matter how this court case turns out, whether you’re triumphant or defeated, just know that you’ll have nothing you want by the time it’s all over. Once Scott George is behind bars, there will be another rebellious and open-minded student to take his place. And another. And another. You’re not going to send a good message to your students by going through with this petty trial. One of these days, Tom, the hate alone will be enough to give you a stress-induced heart attack.”

Fiddling with the door knob, Tom looked down at his feet and said, “You know, Linda, some people prefer to die while having the best sex of their lives or doing some kind of extreme sports activity. Me? I think you just gave me an idea of how I’d like to die someday. See you soon!” Tom closed the door behind him and walked back to his car, leaving Linda Williams in a cataclysm of her own tears.

Millennium X Otherwise: Beautiful Monster


***MILLENNIUM X OTHERWISE: BEAUTIFUL MONSTER***

Raise your hand if you at least have a surface level understanding of the 1990’s horror TV series Millennium. I didn’t watch it on a regular basis when it was on TV, but there was one episode in particular that disturbed the shit out of me. The title is creepy on its own: “A Room with No View”. Gee, I wonder what kind of room they could be referring to. No windows, no balcony, just walls and darkness. This wouldn’t be the kind of room where kidnapping victims are kept, would it?

After seeing news stories on TV about pedophiles kidnapping children and keeping them in captivity for decades at a time, you’d be right to think that kidnapping is a disgusting topic to approach. If a creepy guy kidnaps an innocent girl, there’d be no debate at all as to how sickening that is. We’d all be clamoring for the creepy guy to be locked up. But in “A Room with No View”, the gender roles are reversed. A drop-dead gorgeous young woman named Lucy Butler kidnaps a high school student named Landon Bryce.

The minute Lucy has Landon under lock and key, she goes right into lovey-dovey mode. She tells him she loves him, she cuddles with him, and “comforts” him after he tries to get away and is recaptured. Attempting to escape the compound and getting caught again is something that happens over and over in this episode. And who’s there to give him love and sugar when he returns? Lucy Butler, of course. Oh, and Landon also is told to believe that he’s mediocre and ordinary. So when the FBI eventually raids the compound and rescues him, not only does he have sexual trauma to deal with, but also self-esteem issues. How nice.

If a story is creepy on its own and that’s the only emotion it dabbles with, then we’ve got an open and shut case no doubt. But then this episode of Millennium fuses the creepy feeling with sexual desires and lovey-dovey romance. That makes the creepy feeling even worse. The more emotions you can mix with creepiness, the more intense said creepiness becomes. Landon Bryce is probably going to be fucked up for the rest of the Millennium canon. Society loves to judge male victims as “pussies” and “fags”, so it’s not like he can get away from that stigma after becoming free from the femme fatale known as Lucy Butler.

When I first saw this episode back in the late 90’s, the timing couldn’t have been worse for me. I was already a middle school kid who was turning down dates with girls left and right because I was in constant fear that they’d screw me over in court. My own father had divorce issues of his own and was paying out the ass for it, so that’s where my irrational fear of romance came from. And now I see this episode of Millennium and think, “Is that what relationships are really all about?!” Obviously, the answer is no. But at the time, it seemed reasonable to me.

I wrote this blog entry for two reasons and not one of them is so that Men’s Rights Activists could rejoice. I have lots of love for feminist culture and know full well that there’s only one Lucy Butler in the world (on top of that, she’s not even real!). Would you like to know what my two reasons really are? One of them is to announce that I’ve come up with a fantasy novel idea based on the motif of women kidnapping men. The other reason is because I’ve found the perfect song to go with this novel (should I decide to write it). It’s called “Beautiful Monster” by Otherwise and it’s my current favorite song from that hard rock band from Vegas. If you read the lyrics to the song, you’ll find out just how much Lucy Butler and the villainess of my own novel idea have in common with Otherwise’s beautiful monster in question.


VERSE 1
Something about the way that she makes me hate myself
I could run away but I don't want no one else
So say what you want, it's already done
It's Russian Roulette and love is the gun
You don't know her, you don't know her like I do

CHORUS
Looking like an angel so divine
You can see the devil in those eyes
She's a monster by my side baby
Taking me six feet down tonight
Cause dancing with the devil gets me high
She's a monster, a beautiful monster
(A beautiful monster)


VERSE 2
Something about the way that she tears me up inside
Is it wrong that I love it when I know she'll bleed me dry
So say what you want, it's already done
It's Russian Roulette and love is the gun
You don't know her, you don't know her like I do

CHORUS
Looking like an angel so divine
You can see the devil in those eyes
She's a monster by my side baby
Taking me six feet down tonight
Cause dancing with the devil gets me high
She's a monster, a beautiful monster

BRIDGE
A beautiful monster
I don't want to be saved
A beautiful monster
I don't want to be saved
A beautiful monster
I don't want to be saved
A beautiful monster
I don't want to be saved

CHORUS
Looking like an angel so divine
You can see the devil in those eyes
She's a monster by my side baby
Taking me six feet down tonight
Cause dancing with the devil gets me high
She's a monster, a beautiful monster
A beautiful monster


Are you scared yet? You should be! I’m Garrison Kelly and I’ll see you next time!


***TELEVISION DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

LEMONHEAD: We’re all going to crash and burn because of you! Amy’s not even that hot, man!

SHANE VENDRELL: Oh, thanks for the support, asshole!

-The Shield-