Other People

VERSE 1

Your bank account is birth control

Can’t make up for it with heart and soul

Love doesn’t put food on the table

And so ends the romantic fable

CHORUS

You can’t have love, it belongs to other people

No, not you, you could never be their equal

No, no, no, no, no

I said so

VERSE 2

If you complain, they call you an incel

The preacher man damns you to hell

Throw in the towel, you’re now MGTOW

You set fire to the whole damn town

EXTENDED CHORUS 1

You can’t have love, it belongs to other people

No, not you, you could never be their equal

No, no, no, no, no

I said so

You can’t move on, that’s only for other people

No, not you, you must always stay evil

No, no, no, no, no

I said so

BRIDGE

They’re unwritten rules, I don’t make them up

The one who did drinks from a golden cup

Blindly believe and shut your damn mouth

Smile and fake it, don’t bitch and pout

EXTENDED CHORUS 2

You can’t have fame, it belongs to other people

You’re to blame and there’ll never be a sequel

No, no, no, no, no

I said so

You can’t live life, that’s only for other people

Grab the knife, ‘cause you know your fate is sealed

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

The death blow

Death Bed Sellout

If you don’t like the way I vote

Jam my penis down your throat

If you don’t like the way I eat

Unzip my jeans and beat my meat

If you don’t like the way I write

Be prepared to lose a fistfight

If you don’t like the way I talk

Open wide and suck my cock

If you don’t like the people I love

Put on a pair of boxing gloves

I’ll never be your death bed sellout

If you don’t like it, get the hell out

Sorry not sorry for your precious feels

I promise you your wounds will heal

I’m the only one who chooses my path

It’s not rocket science or three-D math

If you don’t like the way I’m living

You’re the one who needs forgiving

Breaking Benjamin

***BREAKING BENJAMIN***

It’s been about twenty days since my last blog and at this point I’m just reaching for topics like Luke Skywalker reaching for his lost lightsaber in the heat of battle. Just like that same Jedi warrior, I used the force to come up with this next topic. And by use the force, I mean exactly that: I had to force myself to come up with this topic because nothing else of immediate importance came to mind.

This coming September, Breaking Benjamin is coming to Auburn, Washington’s White River Amphitheater to put on a fucking rock and roll show. Their opening acts in order of appearance are Diamante, Dorothy, Three Days Grace, and finally Chevelle. The only opener that I listen to on a frequent basis is Three Days Grace.

Prior to this upcoming Breaking Benjamin show, I’ve seen Three Days Grace twice in concert. The first time was in 2013 at the Showbox SoDo in Seattle, where I was introduced to their opening band at the time, Otherwise. If you follow my progress with rewriting Beautiful Monster, you’ll understand how Otherwise became as important to me as they are. The other time I’ve seen Three Days Grace live is at the Pain in the Grass festival in 2015, where they were the third to last band to appear onstage behind Lamb of God and the headliner Slipknot.

Three Days Grace has been a part of my life since 2003 when I was attending school at Olympic College. I don’t remember much of the early 2000’s due to the onset of my schizophrenia, but I’ll never forget how Three Days Grace’s music made me feel. Their song “Home” perfectly described my state of mind at the time and “I Hate Everything (About You)” could have been a descriptor for my mom’s terrible ex-boyfriend Art. Seeing Three Days Grace live twice was psychological medicine for me and seeing them a third time in 2019 will be no exception.

Breaking Benjamin is the only other band in that lineup that I listen to on a regular basis, which is why I’m going to the concert in the first place. I don’t go to concerts unless I recognize the headliner. Prior to this concert, I’ve seen Breaking Benjamin on three separate occasions. The first was in 2004 when they opened for Korn. Like I said earlier, I have minimal recollection of the early 2000’s due to my ongoing battle with schizophrenia. When Breaking Benjamin opened for Disturbed as part of the Pain in the Grass festival in 2016, my senses were wide awake. Unfortunately, that show was marred by me having to sit next to a drunken lunatic who wouldn’t leave well enough alone. That’s okay, because in 2018, Breaking Benjamin came back to that same venue with Five Finger Death Punch and Bad Wolves as their openers. Much better experience!

I didn’t fully appreciate the music of Breaking Benjamin until 2006 when I first heard “So Cold”. From there, getting hooked on the music was easy. I listened to a lot of their fourth album Dear Agony in 2009 when I was taking the bus to and from my final college class. Coincidentally, I also started listening to “Life Starts Now” by Three Days Grace. We intersect once again! Who knew two sad-ass metal bands would make the perfect soundtrack for resorting to forced extroversion in a college class environment? I still don’t understand why college classes put introverts at a disadvantage like that by having public conversations in the grading rubric. It’s almost like there’s a bias going on here.

Breaking Benjamin’s upcoming show won’t be until September 22^nd of this year, which is a country mile ahead of the current date. Like I said before, I was reaching for a topic this whole time. I don’t like going for a long time without writing a blog entry because I consider those to be just as important as my poems, short stories, and chapters of Beautiful Monster. Speaking of which…

***BEAUTIFUL MONSTER***

Chapter sixteen will feature the fruits of Windham’s traumatizing labor in action. Shadow Asylum along with King Lars Stonewall and his troops will perform a raid on Shelly Atwood’s castle in an attempt to put an end to her sex trafficking business once and for all. Windham did a phenomenal job of exposing the castle’s weaknesses in his blueprints, so this should be an open and shut case, right? Sure, you can believe that if you want. You can also believe that monkeys will come flying out of my ass. After dining on Pizza Hut food tonight, monkeys are the last thing you should worry about flying out of my ass. Hehe!

***MOVIE DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

HUTCH MORGAN: Eat me!

PAIGE: No thanks, I’m trying to bulk up.

-Fighting With My Family-

Explaining Stories: Carlos vs. Bryan

***EXPLAINING STORIES: CARLOS VS. BRYAN***

I’ve allowed this topic to float away in the breeze for far too long, yet it’s been rolling around in my head since college. At WWU, I had two different writing teachers who had opposite schools of thought when it came to authors explaining their own work. Carlos Martinez, my first multi-genre writing teacher, was of the belief that it’s okay to explain yourself while Bryan Willis, my dramatic writing professor, was adamantly against it and would discourage students from doing so during critique sessions. Today we’re going to look at both sides of that debate and see which among you is on Team Carlos or Team Bryan. Though there will be disagreements, I promise you this debate won’t be nearly as much of a train wreck as the 2016 US Presidential Debates. But that’s an argument for another day.

If you’re in a critiquing session and you want your beta-readers/editors to know what it is they need to watch out for, you’ll probably want to sign up with Team Carlos. That is information your readers need. It’s your work, so you should have full reign as to what your story is trying to say or do. Your editors can’t give you advice on how to best convey your message if you don’t explain yourself ahead of time. Being a member of Team Carlos also has benefits if your work is unintentionally offensive and you’re trying to do damage control. While it is true that there’s always someone out there who will be pissed off at what you do, it would help those people greatly if you put them at ease with a reasonable explanation. But when you give them that explanation, give them the sensitivity they were looking for this whole time and don’t be condescending.

But if what you want most is for your art to be a democracy, join Team Bryan. Art by its very nature is a subjective field. Everybody sees something different and it’s those many interpretations that give the medium the spotlight it deserves. It sparks debate, just like this blog entry is attempting to do. According to Bryan’s way of thinking, if you tell people what to believe, you’re taking away the creativity you yourself exercise so freely. I think this might be part of the reason why my current beta-reader Ashley Uzzell tells me not to put little disclaimers at the top of my poems. Of course, the other reason why she tells me not to do that is because it’s insulting to the reader’s intelligence if the lyrics are blatantly obvious. It’s like if an author says “green grass”, “red blood”, or “big elephant”. Duh! Remember, kids: show, don’t tell. Don’t tell your audience how to feel about your work. Show them and let them make their own decisions. The last time someone forced his artistic will upon his audience, it was in the movie Pink Floyd the Wall during the music videos for “In the Flesh” and “Run Like Hell”. You don’t want to do that.

So there you have it, folks: both sides of this debate presented in full. Both Carlos and Bryan have good points that should be carefully considered, but ultimately, my own personal loyalties lie with Team Carlos. My biggest reason for that is because I’ve been on the wrong end of offending an audience before and I know what it feels like to be rained down upon with hateful comments. In 2009, I wrote an opinion essay called “Class of ‘13”, which was supposed to be a humorously vulgar look at what life would be like if I became an English teacher. My readers didn’t think it was funny at all and labeled me an ageist (because of my views at the time on teenagers). The argument started with me hurling endless insults at the readers, which to nobody’s surprise escalated their anger even further. Only through explaining my work in a calm and collected manner whilst apologizing did the situation eventually cool off. I’ll be the first to admit that aside from my big gut and chubby cheeks, I don’t have much of a thick skin. Being diplomatic and having the ability to defuse a situation is a huge benefit to being on Team Carlos.

Now don’t get me wrong: just because I favor one teacher’s point of view over the other’s, doesn’t mean they’re right or wrong altogether. Both Carlos and Bryan were easily some of my favorite teachers at Western Washington University. They had everything a student could ask for in a professor: friendly personality, flexible rules, infinite wisdom, and an open door policy when it came to asking for help. I particularly liked Bryan because of how much of an interest he took in one of my theater scenes. He wanted to see more of that story come out, so he gave me alternative assignments from the rest of the class where I would add on to the ongoing narrative through different characters’ points of view. The original story was about a high school student named Kurtis who complained to his girlfriend about a D- he received in his history class. One of the alternative assignments I had was to write a monologue from the teacher’s point of view and the other one was an interaction between the girlfriend and the teacher. These new assignments were a huge ego boost, not that my arrogant ass needed one.

As far as why I liked Carlos so much goes (aside from his views on explaining stories), he was just an all around gentle human being even during moments when the students got under his skin. Even when one student openly admitted to not doing a reading assignment out of blatant laziness, Carlos never raised his voice when he reprimanded that kid. He was also delicate about how constructive criticism was handled amongst our stories. He insisted that we all be nice to each other, because at the end of the day, every author is sensitive towards critiques no matter how much they hide it. Carlos even told us a story about how he got pissed off as a kid when his fellow students told him to cut his lengthy poem down to four lines. Being hurt by critiques (whether they’re friendly or not) is universal and one-hundred percent natural. But the more you surround yourself with people who want you to succeed, the less painful those critiques become. Carlos wanted all of us to succeed and it showed in his friendly and calm attitude.

Not that this is a focal point of the greater debate at hand, but in case you’re curious, I ended up getting an A in Carlos’s class and a B+ in Bryan’s class. And to prove it’s not a focal point, I don’t hold any ill will towards one professor of mine, Katie, who gave me a C in my medieval literature class. She did everything she could to help me whether it was answering my questions or allowing me to visit her office for a one-on-one session. The blame for that C falls squarely on my shoulders since I had a hard time understanding the material. I went into that class thinking it was going to be like reading Dungeons & Dragons campaign, but instead all I got was religious zeal and purple prose, lots of purple prose! They call that period in literature the Dark Ages for a reason. That class was my version of the Dark Ages by virtue of how difficult it was to learn the material (despite having a good teacher).

But enough about me, let’s turn this debate over to you fine internet folks. Are you on Team Carlos (explaining your work) or Team Bryan (allowing your work to speak for itself)? Are there any points on either side of this debate that I’ve unintentionally neglected? Feel free to let me know in the comments section. I’m Garrison Kelly! Even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain! And to show you my undying loyalty towards Team Carlos, I’m going to explain my signing off phrase. They’re lyrics from the Three Days Grace song “The Mountain”. Not only do I love the hell out of that band, but those lyrics can be surprisingly inspirational to someone who needs encouragement.

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“Sailing along the river of time. Adrift on dreams through midnight chimes. Positively frozen crystal waterfalls. The mountain of hope is there to be climbed. The sea of serenity is rightfully mine. Step onto the water knowing what is true. The beat of my heart. The rhythm of love. The earth that’s beneath us. The heavens above. I can hear forever calling out to me. The changes we go through are making me strong. The shelter of friendship is where we belong. Look into the future knowing what we see. The whirlpool of doubt can spin you around. The wave of emotion takes you up, pulls you down. Leaving far behind us sweet young passion spray. And never blame the rainbows for the rain. And learn to forget the memories that caused you pain. The last whispered wish of age is to live it all again. And never blame the rainbows for the rain.”

-The Moody Blues singing “Never Blame the Rainbows For the Rain”-

Xanax and Perrier

VERSE 1

My weirdest dreams are of school it seems

Naked in front of the students and deans

A grown adult fighting it out with teens

Doing crystal math until my eyes bleed

Dreading the day I receive my grades

Failing every class, I cannot be saved

There’s always next year, no question about

It’s hard to speak up when my teeth fall out

CHORUS

Xanax and Perrier to end my day

My oldest kitty is snoozing away

Eight hours until I feel the sun’s rays

Back to the theater, back to the craze

VERSE 2

My wildest dreams are of music and screams

Heavy metal menus in the strangest venues

Pantera tore it up in a grocery store

3DG in a lecture hall, I want more

Rammstein shot flames in a Chinese diner

Roger Waters at the Stonehenge, not bad, old-timer

Brit Floyd in a museum, not an easy feat

It’s hard to sing songs with loosening teeth

CHORUS

Xanax and Perrier to end my day

My oldest kitty is snoozing away

Eight hours until I feel the sun’s rays

Back to the theater, back to the craze

BRIDGE

Sometimes all I want is to go the fuck home

But these dreamy busses are so damn slow

The foot ferries splash as they’re about to crash

The airplanes race into outer fucking space

VERSE 3

My nerdy dreams make me want to cream

Comic book shops on every street block

Libraries with dark fantasy sweetness

My dream theater knows my favorite weakness

Seeing my notebooks being sold on the shelves

Seeing my novels being read by elves

Hearing my poems being read by pixies

My dreams come true whether it’s now or sixty

EXTENDED CHORUS

Xanax and Perrier to end my day

My oldest kitty is snoozing away

Eight hours until I feel the sun’s rays

Back to the theater, back to the craze

Every youngster has the right to dream

Every adult can set them free

Never give up, never let it die

Spread your dragon wings and fly

Merry Christmas 2015

***MERRY CHRISTMAS 2015***

As I begin writing this journal entry, it’s seven o’clock at night, which means we’ve got five hours before Christmas day officially begins. As long as we’re this close to the holiday season, I want to wish all of you a Merry Christmas. Those are two words I could listen to over and over again. As I’ve said in the past, I don’t see Christmas as catering to a religion I’m not a part of. I see it as a magical time of year that we can all enjoy. It’s about families and friends being closer together and continuing that theme of closeness all throughout the years to come.

But Christmas isn’t without its negative connotations. I look all over the internet and no matter where I go, I always see someone acting like a Grinch. “Oh, Christmas is such hard work!” “Oh, I don’t want any presents this year!” “Oh, I hate Christmas, blah, blah, blah!” What could possibly be so wrong with such a happy time of the year? If you don’t like going out to shop for presents, order them on Amazon. If you don’t like the people you spend this holiday with, get some new people. Having a negative attitude toward Christmas is a lot like going to Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, and shitting on all of the seats to the roller coasters. Negativity never did anybody any good.

Last year’s Christmas was such a magical time for me that I held onto that spirit all throughout 2015 and became a happier person over the proceeding months. December 2014 will always be remembered as the month I went to San Diego to spend a day at Lego Land, another theme park that could be considered the happiest place on earth. That vacation was so much fun in so many ways: there was Lego Land, the San Diego Wildlife Park, strolling the beaches to guzzle eye candy, and it was all capped off by watching a movie at the cinemas called St. Vincent, which I’ve done a review for and gave a passing grade.

I held onto that feeling of happiness all throughout 2015 and a lot of positive things happened that year as a result. I rekindled my friendship with Marie Krepps and we’ve been beta reading for each other ever since. I vacationed in Victoria, Canada with my family and had a relaxing time. I saw Cavalera Conspiracy in concert and rocked the fuck out. I saw a symphonic band called Distant Worlds, whose music of choice was the Final Fantasy soundtrack. I got to see Slipknot, Lamb of God, and Three Days Grace on the same show and rocked the fuck out yet again. I got to wear a Slipknot costume for Halloween and I scared the shit out of everyone around me. The year was also a good one for reading, writing, and editing books. I currently have three active books on the market right now and despite their star-ratings, I can safely say I’m proud of all of them.

The point I’m trying to make is, don’t let Christmas become a disdainful experience for you. Find happiness in this generally happy holiday. If you get a CD as a present, rock out to it as much as possible. If you eat a big dinner, savor every last bite. If you’re spending the holiday with people you love, love them even more. Being a Grinch or a Scrooge is no good for no one. This is a day of celebration no matter which god you worship (or lack thereof). Be thankful for every good thing that happens to you on this day and bypass every bad thing. The more thankful you are, the more things you will have to be thankful for. If I sound like I’m parroting Rhonda Byrne, it’s because I am. Squawk! Squawk! Polly wants a cracker! Squawk!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

　

***WWE MATCH REVIEW***

Last week, my television burned out, so I used money I saved up to buy a replacement. Thanks to that replacement, I was able to watch WWE NXT Takeover: London. It was a superior show top to bottom. Even the crowd was alive and well for these matches. They used S and F words despite the show being rated TV-PG and they even sang Beatles songs during matches. Although every match was great, the one I’d really like to give my next passing grade to is the NXT Women’s Championship match between Bayley (the champion) and Nia Jax (the challenger). Corey Graves referred to the size discrepancy of this match as being like Manny Pacquiao vs. Mike Tyson: two talented competitors from FAR different weight classes. Even so, it was the heart and the guts of the much smaller Bayley that won her the match by submission.

　

***PARODY LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“Here’s a little story about Garrison Kelly. He ate a bunch of food and got a big belly. He tried to exercise, but he got winded. His gym membership was rescinded. You don’t bring a knife to a gunfight! You’ll lose!”

-Sick Puppies singing “Gunfight”, but with my lyric modifications-

Recycling Buildings

***BEFORE I BEGIN***

The last journal was about how I went to the Pain in the Grass festival in Auburn, Washington’s White River Amphitheater. In case you were thinking of asking, it was a badass concert from top to bottom. Three Days Grace was fucking awesome. Lamb of God was REALLY fucking awesome. I’m glad to be introduced to Bullet For My Valentine. But Slipknot? They were badass on a whole different level. The masks, the pyrotechnics, the devil’s mirror background, and most importantly, the music itself was a shit ton of fun. Aside from riding the shuttle bus with a bunch of drunken fans who butchered every jingle on the planet, I had a good time last night. I even had the cute clerk at the convenience store, Chelsea, tell me that she was jealous earlier today. That’s a damn good sign. Hehehehehe!

　

***RECYCLING BUILDINGS***

Apparently, going to a heavy metal show with a bunch of kick-ass bands inspired me to have a strange, yet poignant dream. In this dream, the QFC grocery store in my town was converted to a concert hall and Pantera got back together to play there. The freezers were replaced with seats, the checkout isles were ticket scanners, and the deli was replaced with one big ass stage where Pantera played “This Love”. And then I woke up and had a topic for a Deviant Art journal in mind already: recycling buildings.

When a business becomes defunct, it would seem like such a waste of construction to demolish the building. If you’re not going to use the building for a grocery store or restaurant, why not use it for a library or a toy store? This actually has a lot of merit in today’s world. In the cop dramas The Shield and NCIS: Los Angeles, both agencies use old churches and convert them to a fully-functional headquarters. Old churches, for shit’s sake. In Texas not too long ago, a Wal-Mart was closed and the building was abandoned until someone started using it for one big-ass library, thus turning Wal-Martians into wallflowers. The old headquarters in Wisconsin where Dungeons & Dragons was born was turned into a candy shop and a hotel after Gary Gygax lost the rights to his game.

Using old buildings for bigger and better things isn’t a new idea, but it’s one that should be spread more often. It would take a shit ton of imagination to convert something like a butcher’s shop into a nightclub (which has been done on an episode of Seinfeld). It’d be a lot of work, but it could technically happen. That QFC dream isn’t far off from reality. It technically could be converted to a concert hall and we could bring some heavy metal to Port Orchard, a city not known for such things. And what about the abandoned Taco Bell building on Mile Hill? Is it just going to sit there and do nothing or can it be converted to…a gaming shop! Can you imagine holding D&D sessions and reading graphic novels in a building that used to be Taco Bell? If your creative energies and imaginative juices aren’t flowing like a raging river, I don’ t know what to say.

Maybe this is all stemming from the fact that I see artistic merit in pretty much everything around me, including reusing condemned buildings, house flipping, and home improvement in general. In this case, the artists in question are working with a tainted canvas and making something beautiful out of it. It would be the same thing if I drew my picture of Daron Campos on the page of a Disney coloring book. It would be a tainted canvas, but it could be done….and it would be creepy to think about considering what Daron Campos is capable of.

Do you have any old buildings that could be something better in your neighborhood? Can you make a college out of a Wal-Mart? Can you make a wrestling school out of a Burger King? Can you make a barbershop out of an abandoned warehouse by a dingy dock? If your imagination is big enough and you’re having a constant flow of nerd-gasms, all of those things are possible. We’ve got ears, say cheers!

　

***COMMERCIAL QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“You will howl like a happy hound dog over these hushpuppies!”

-Popeye’s Spokeswoman-

　

***POST-SCRIPT***

Actually, no, I won’t. Popeye’s food is so bland and boring that I can picture one of their restaurants being converted to a record store slash punk clothing emporium. And we’ve come full circle yet again!

Pain in the Grass 2015

***PAIN IN THE GRASS 2015***

This coming Sunday (August 23^rd), I’m headed over to Auburn, Washington’s White River Amphitheater for the Pain in the Grass festival, which is basically a heavy metal concert with an ass ton of bands. I’ve been to a lot of concerts in my lifetime, but never to a festival-style concert. The show is expected to go from 2:00 in the afternoon to about 10 or 11 at night. Since the venue is at a grassy lawn, I’ll probably bring a blanket and rest in between performers. The last time I stood up for an ungodly amount of time was when I saw Cavalera Conspiracy this past May in Seattle. There were four opening bands that night before the main act and my legs were killing me. Laying on the grass during this upcoming event will feel like laying on one of heaven’s clouds. Here are the bands that will be performing:

　

MAIN STAGE:

Ayron Jones & the Way
Crobot
Motionless in White
Theory of a Deadman
Bullet for My Valentine
Three Days Grace
Lamb of God
Slipknot


ANOTHER CENTURY STAGE:

Varsity Week
Like a Storm
Stitched Up Heart
Awaken the Empire
New Years Day

　

Good God almighty, that’s a lot of heavy metal and hard rock bands. I’ll only be gone for one day at this concert, but the recovery time will probably keep me from participating in my usual internet festivities. I’ll probably still compete in that week’s WSS contest, but not until later in the week when I’m fully rested. Everything else that I do on the internet such as writing Blood Brawl chapters, editing American Darkness stories, editing Marie Krepps’ Slayers chapters, and anything else artistic I’ve neglected to mention will be put on hold, but for a very short time.

This may not be a week-long vacation, but it has the same feel: limited internet time and lots of snoozing. It’s funny, because my last journal entry was about “hanging around”. This time, I have an actual reason to idle. Come to think of it, I’ve always had a reason to idle, but didn’t realize it until now. Whenever I’m done with a creative task, I need to “cool off” and “recharge my batteries”. Creativity can be taxing on the mind, but not enough to keep me from enjoying the fruits of my labor. Isn’t that why working people have lunch breaks and coffee breaks? We’ve got ears, say cheers!

　

***TELEVISION DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

ZIVA: I would have loved to see Gibbs shoot that computer.
MCGEE: If I don’t get his email working, you might get a second chance.

-NCIS-

"Chalk Outline" by Three Days Grace

When you leave your mark on this world, what will it be in the form of? Will it be a painting that hangs proudly on the museum walls? Will it be a piece of fan fiction on Deviant Art? Will it be stone sculpture in the middle of a water park where dogs and children play? Or will you be a chalk outline on the sidewalk waiting for the rain to wash it away? If you’ve heard the song “Chalk Outline” by Three Days Grace, you know exactly where this is coming from.

Some people are still walking and breathing and yet they feel like chalk outlines anyways. They’re stressed out at work, bored with their relationships, and tired of their general routines. If this scenario makes you feel like a chalk outline, it may be time to try something new. After all, Einstein always said the true definition of insanity is doing the same thing every day and expecting different results.

You don’t necessarily have to be an artist or a celebrity of any kind in order to make an impression on this world. Sometimes giving other people something to think about is enough. Even the smallest act of kindness can be the difference between life or death in the mind of another person. Let’s say you buy a homeless man a cup of coffee and a donut. You think that homeless man will judge you for being a chalk outline? It’s hard to do that with a mouthful of dough and sugar. That spike in his blood cholesterol may have improved his mood to where he actually forgot he was dealt a crappy hand.

What about a panting dog trapped in a car during the summertime blues? You think he’ll be grateful if you smash the car window and get him out of that boiling cauldron of a vehicle? How about a barista who’s working a nine to five position at the coffee bar at Barnes & Noble. You think she’ll be grateful for generous tips after her paychecks don’t even break the minimum wage limit? Maybe you’re in a relationship with a girl who’s feeling self-conscious about how a dress is making her look “fat”. You think she’d appreciate it if you told her she looked fantastic? Maybe even sexy?

People like to downplay themselves as being chalk outlines despite the random acts of kindness they commit and it’s unfortunate they do that. They believe memories will eventually fade when the person gets older and Alzheimer’s kicks in. That’s a myth and a half. I don’t care how old you are, because if somebody gives you an adrenaline shot of happiness, you’re probably going to use that memory to replace any bad memories that are haunting your mind like a traumatic ghost.

This may not be the exact message Adam Gontier was thinking of when he wrote this song for Three Days Grace. But just like with any piece of art, the audience is free to interpret it any way they want. That’s why Good Reads authors are encouraged not to explain themselves to people who gave them one or two-star reviews. Even those who absorb the media have the right to be free from the thought police’s brutality. I’m not saying Adam Gontier would ever do that to his fans, I’m just talking in general terms.

I do wish Mr. Gontier good luck in his solo career. I don’t necessarily agree with his decision to leave Three Days Grace since he was such an influential member. But who am I to tell him he’s wrong? If he needs to get away from the group for a while and focus on himself, he’s going to do that without repercussions. Sometimes a permanent sabbatical is just what the doctor ordered. Isn’t that right, CM Punk?

　

***WRESTLING QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“If you don’t win the NXT World Title, you won’t be known as Tyson Kidd. You’ll be known as Natalya’s husband.”

-Michael Cole-

Leon De Taj

Not since William Wallace has anybody been able to shoot lightning bolts out of their ass quite like Leon De Taj. Actually, that sounds like a very painful bowel movement waiting to happen. I hope Leon doesn’t have to do a colon cleanse anytime soon. Maybe it’ll be better if he shoots all of his lightning bolts from his fingertips and perhaps from the back of his throat like a dragon would. We don’t need a dark fantasy version of Ren & Stimpy anytime soon.

All joking aside, if you need somebody to electrocute a savage beast, a fire breathing dragon, or a barbaric orc, Leon De Taj is your man. In the same way that necromancers deal in death and pyromancers deal in fire, Leon, a bona fide electromancer, is an expert in throwing lightning wherever it is needed.

He’s so good at his occupation that he could get a job powering Las Vegas’ neon signs and maybe get paid some serious overtime. He might also find his calling as a Texas-based executioner since they love to kill their prisoners with the electric chair so much. Then again, if he did that, they might accuse him of witchcraft and nail him to a cross. Bad idea, scratch that.

What you really need to know about Leon De Taj is that he’s more than just a limitless energy source. He’s also a hopeless romantic. When last he was used, it was in a movie script called Tower of Heaven. The premise of this movie was that bloodthirsty monsters called Intimidators took over the earth and the Tower of Heaven was the only place civilians could be safe from these dangerous warriors.

It would take a real backstabber to ruin a safe haven such as that. Leon became that backstabber when his girlfriend was taken away from him by the main character of the story, Terrato Matrix. Leon became so jealous that he removed the magical barrier from around the Tower of Heaven just so he could get back at that one guy who seduced his girl.

You talk about a real sourpuss, that’s it man. This is one case that Clark Gable III and Joey Greco would be both well advised to stay away from. I can picture Bob Magruder’s voiceover right now. “Leon De Taj. Age 25. An electromancer accused of calling down the thunder and reaping the whirlwind on his relationships.”

If this extreme jealousy is going to work in a story that hasn’t been scrapped yet, Leon would have to have been with this girl for a long, long time. Their connection must be deeper than a shallow bikini party or a one-night fling that resulted in a pregnancy. He’s 25 years old as Bob Magruder said, so maybe he knew this girl since middle school. Middle school can bring about a lot of hormone-induced feelings.

No matter what I end up doing with this character, lightning and testosterone will never make for a romantic mix.

　

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“Pain! Without love. Pain! I can’t get enough. Pain! I like it rough, ‘cause I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all.”

-Three Days Grace singing “Pain”-

Burger King Dreams

Regardless of what city I’m visiting in my dreams, there always seems to be a Burger King right up the street. I wouldn’t even have to ask for a ride, I could just walk and that Triple Whopper with Cheese is as good as mine. There was even one dream where UFC fighter Chael Sonnen gave me a cut of his post-fight bonus to go eat at Burger King. He said it was the closest thing to socialism that I would ever get in my lifetime. Nice guy, huh? But let’s talk about this strange archetype for a moment. Why Burger King? Why not McDonald’s, Wendy’s, or Sonic? Could it have something to do with the fact that going to Burger King was a weekend ritual for me during high school? I’ve had lots of high school dreams, so Burger King might be the link I’m looking for. Every weekend during my junior and senior years of high school, my dad would give me a ten dollar bill and I would walk to Burger King to get a Triple Whopper with Cheese. This was obviously before I was eligible for social security, so I needed that ten dollars. When I was packing on weight in a big fucking hurry, he stopped giving me ten dollar bills. It wouldn’t have mattered anyways, because now that I’ve been receiving disability benefits since 2004, I spend most of my money on restaurants and convenience stores. That’s right, folks. My life is so lackluster that the only source of entertainment I have is chowing down on processed meats and cheeses. I take one bite of a greasy hamburger and all my depressive pain goes away. But once the meal is over, I have to find another fix and dinner won’t be for another few hours. Then what? It’s funny that I have all of these writing projects to do and all these books to read on my shelf, yet eating at a fast food restaurant is more fun than doing either of those two things. When someone asks me to read a book, I’m conveniently “mentally exhausted”. But when my step-father is going out for a grocery run and asks me if I need to stop anywhere, my mental energy suddenly comes back to me. In a way, cheap food has become my painkiller, which is funny, because when I started writing this blog entry, I was listening to “Painkiller” by Three Days Grace. But you know what else is a painkiller for me? Writing and reading. The feeling of accomplishment I get from both of those activities will last me for at least the rest of the day. The difference between creative activities and eating is that eating is readily available when I need it. Creativity takes more time. I’m not a patient man, so I choose fast food over writing and reading. This is obviously the wrong path to choose since I have a saggy tummy and big cheeks. But you know what? Until somebody provides me with a solution that’s more permanent than a pep talk, I’m going to keep going down this road. It’s sad and unfortunate, but this is who I am. Food has become a part of me in more ways than just eating it.

　

***DOMESTIC QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“Garrison likes his books like he likes his food: fast and cheap.”

-Susan Wilson-

Concert Dreams

When I go to sleep at night, a common dream I have is going to a concert of some sort. The people at the concert vary from large crowds to one or two people. The bands also vary wildly. One dream, I saw a concert headlined by Korn, Skillet, and Immortal Technique. Can you imagine those three in one show? A libertarian nu metal band, a Christian conservative rock band, and an atheist liberal rapper all under one roof. If Seattle didn’t have riot problems before, they’ve got them once again. You think that’s crazy? How about going to a Three Days Grace concert in a college lecture hall where the opening act is a black and white movie about old ladies. Or perhaps you’d rather see Anthony Jeselnik do standup comedy in a college lecture hall while playing a really old Final Fantasy game. Or maybe you’d rather watch a Pink Floyd show where they flaunt faceless masks like muscles at the beach. Either way, you’re in for a show if you’re living in my subconscious. These dreams are obviously telling me to go to a rock concert. It has to be more of a deep message than that. Maybe the diversity in political and religious views in each band is an archetype telling me to embrace differences. Maybe the concert I go to where nobody’s there indicates that I have nobody to talk to when I go to a real concert. There certainly is no shortage of beautiful ladies in black skirts or jean shorts, but they’re far out of reach for someone of my means. I do plan on going to a concert again someday. Hell, I already missed three chances at cool concerts in the past year and a half. In 2012, I could have seen Nightwish at the Showbox SoDo, but instead I went on vacation with my family to New Mexico to ride horses and get yelled at by my mom for screaming in pain. Skillet was playing at the Tacoma Dome not too long ago. How they stayed out of my radar, I’ll never know. Soulfly was playing in Seattle to promote their Savages album, but that one fell out of my radar as well. I wish ignorance was the only reason I missed the Soulfly concert. Truth is, I don’t want to go back to Seattle for anything. The last time I was there was to see Papa Roach at the Showbox Market. The concert got out at midnight and it was time to call my mom for a ride. My calls kept going to her voicemail. I stood out in the streets of Seattle for one full hour without transportation. During that hour, I was cold, I had to listen to drunken metal heads scream their asses off, and a punk teenager threatened to shoot me. I was mad about the latter of those for three months before I got over it. Concert offers are enticing, especially when they come from within. They’re fun. They’re energetic. They’re experiences that will last a lifetime. But you know what? It’s going to take a lot for me to return to Seattle. Maybe if the Showbox was featuring lesbian sex between Jeanne Sagan from All That Remains and Floor Jansen from Nightwish, just maybe I could be talked into going. But the last time I checked, Jeanne Sagan and Floor Jansen were not sexual objects. They’re musicians. Musicians play music. There better be some damn good music playing in Seattle or Tacoma. Otherwise, my subconscious will be my new favorite venue.

　

***CONCERT QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“This is our tribe, not your tribe, motherfucker!”

-Max Cavalera from Soulfly-

Mitch Axel

Throughout my entire writing career, my most commonly used male given name is Mitch. Brawl Mart’s lead protagonist is named Mitch McLeod, Water Slaughter’s lead protagonist is named Mitch Monson, and I even have an unemployed cyberpunk character named Mitch Lee. What do you say we add one more Mitch to the list since it’s a likable and kick-ass first name? In this case, we’re looking at a high school garage band guitarist named Mitch Axel. He was supposed to be part of a high school themed RPG. He had the guitar gimmick and he looked like Matt Walst from My Darkest Days. But instead of going straight to the top of the charts, he decided to join the school’s photography club. He took pictures of everything and briefly interacted with another student whose name I can’t recall. That was the last anybody ever saw of Mitch Axel. Guess why. Too much inactivity within the group. What good is an RPG if nobody’s participating? Yeah, I know it’s hypocritical of me to say that given I stayed silent throughout most of my college classes. You have to remember that classrooms are mandatory and RPG’s are optional. Why join an RPG if you’re not going to do anything? So now we have this kick-ass teenager named Mitch Axel who’s currently in the unemployment line in my imagination. Originally, I was going to have him be a part of a short story called Black Hole, where he and his brothers Leif and Thomas try to woo the lead singer of their band Caitlin Ambrose. Sounds good on paper, but I’m afraid if I do that, Mitch will be overshadowed by the other characters. It happened to Karlos Ludwig and pretty much every member of Death Blade with the exception of Jill Serra and Lokus Leadgoth. How can we make sure that Mitch Axel will get top billing and keep it? He’ll have to do some wicked tricks with his electric guitar. He can’t just be a shredder, he has to be the whole fucking show, to quote a wrestler named Rob Van Dam. Sorry, Leif and Thomas, but you two are going back in the womb if you can’t help Mitch reach the stardom he craves. This is a guy who had a world of potential, but no forum to release all that creative energy. That will have to change very soon. He doesn’t necessarily have to be in a band, he just has to do something magical. Maybe he can be a fantasy bard or a cyberpunk rocker boy. Maybe he can be a wrestler who hits people with his guitar more often than Jeff Jarrett used to (that would really hurt if it was a plugged in electric guitar and the victim was submerged in water). I’ll think of something for Mr. Mitch Axel, but not right now.

　

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“One day I fell asleep and dreamt of something to keep. Opened up my dying mind to see the things that I'd never find. Something true and beautiful was waiting there for me. In a dream where I believed I'd find my way back home. I think you should know how it feels falling down and out alone when no one cares. I think you should know how it feels when the world buries your soul and you're still alive.”

-Crossfade singing “I Think You Should Know”-