NAME: Gail Reinhold
AGE: 30
OCCUPATION: Paladin
CANONS: Final Fantasy Hardcore, Tribe, Hardcore Hell, and Fireball Nightmare
Your eyes don’t deceive you and quite frankly I don’t know why they would unless you were having an acid flashback. Gail Reinhold has been a part of four different failed stories, thus making her the most experienced heroine I’ve ever had (and no, that’s not an invitation for the W-word, so piss off). No matter what canon she was a part of, she was always the eventual arm candy of Deus Shadowheart, the most popular and experienced character I have.
Deus Shadowheart is a smelly barbarian who can rip someone in half with his thumb and forefinger. Gail Reinhold is a beautiful paladin who can be both tough-minded and tenderhearted at the same time. How exactly do these two people find each other attractive? How does a beautiful flower like Gail give consent to a barbaric beast like Deus and then the two live happily ever after? In all the times they’ve been together, it was always because Deus was saving Gail from an abduction, one that happened over and over again, might I add. Doesn’t exactly make Gail a strong feminine role model despite supposedly being a badass magic-wielding paladin.
With the random selection I put my characters through, it’s not likely Deus and Gail will ever be a couple again. They might not even be part of the same canon. Were they ever really good for each other if Gail was only a damsel in distress? How about she actually put her magic and combative skills to good use and save a man’s life for a change. Or save another woman’s life. Or save her own life. Make her tough and independent at the same time. She can still be the tender and emotional sweetie pie I always made her out to be, and that might actually work in making her a flawed character despite being nearly invincible in combat.
In addition to being multi-dimensional as a character, she can also be that way when it comes to the time period she occupies. Paladins are Dungeons & Dragons characters by nature, which in plain English means they’re medieval warriors in medieval times. But what if this was the future? What if she was an intergalactic princess with an energy sword (I can’t say light saber lest I be sued by Disney) and unlimited magic powers? Or here’s a crazy idea: she could actually make it in the modern world with no fantasy or supernatural elements whatsoever. She could be a badass marine, a rookie cop, or a digital Robin Hood, all while using a sword. A cop with a sword? A marine with an energy blade? Hell yeah, now we’re talking!
If Gail does find another story to be a part of, then I can’t make the same mistakes I made with her in the past, which are make her too fragile and kill her off with no sympathy or empathy for her character. Gail has a lot of potential to be something great. She shouldn’t be ruined by an early death or a Mary-Sue stigma. I might have to go all the way with her and make her the main character of whatever story she’s a part of. Gail Reinhold: a badass diva with a blade and an attitude. I like the sound of that! It almost sounds like it has graphic novel implications. Bottom line: I believe in Gail’s star power. She can have the charisma if I give it to her. But the question now is, what story will she be a part of? Let’s go to Random.org to find out!
***WRESTLING QUOTE OF THE DAY***
“If Natalya won the Divas Title, that wouldn’t be good for Tyson Kidd. He’d have more things to carry.”
-John “Bradshaw” Layfield-
TITLE: WWE NXT
GENRE: Professional Wrestling
RATING: TV-PG for mild violence
GRADE: A+
If you follow the yearly Wrestling Observer Newsletter awards like I do, you would have seen that the award for Best Weekly Television Show in 2013 was WWE NXT. You know why it won that prestigious award? Because when it comes to professional wrestling, there’s only one way to describe WWE NXT: bullshit-free television. That means there are no goofy stunt doubles, no tyrannical authority figures, no cranky divas, and no ridiculous endings to otherwise good matches. You want to know what wrestling is all about? WWE NXT is your answer. It can be all yours if you purchase the WWE Network for only…come on, people, what is it? It’s only $9.99 a month!
NXT is supposed to be the training grounds for wrestlers and divas who want to be featured on WWE Raw and Smackdown, the company’s two flagship shows. Judging from the way these “rookies” wrestle, it looks like they’ve spent their whole lives training. For many of the wrestlers, this couldn’t be closer to the truth.
Sami Zayn is a high-flying technical wizard who wrestled all over the world. Tyson Kidd is the final graduate of the infamous Hart Dungeon and knows how to cripple his opponents inside that ring. Tyler Breeze is arrogant and self-serving, but his own high-flying style justifies his otherwise obnoxious gimmick. Adrian Neville is called “The Man Gravity Forgot” for a reason: because every time he flies around the ring or even does a ground move, it looks like he’s in outer space. Four kick-ass wrestlers who always put on five-star matches whenever they’re in the ring. In fact, they downright steal the show. But these are just the main-eventers of NXT.
Even the wrestlers who haven’t been doing it for quite as long don’t show their inexperience very often. Bull Dempsey’s wrestling career started in 2006 and he fights like a 300-lb. wrecking ball, smashing and bruising everyone in his path. Charlotte’s career started in 2012, but she has so much going for her already: she trained under her father Ric Flair (a two-time WWE Hall of Famer and 16-time World Champion), she’s over six feet tall and is built like a powerhouse, and she had quite possibly the match of the year in 2014 against Natalya (daughter of Jim Neidhart) to win the NXT Women’s Championship. Anybody else that needs mentioning? How about Baron Corbin, a seven-foot juggernaut who squashed CJ Parker in his first match, which is a difficult feat in and of itself. Let me put it this way: when Pinocchio does another Geico commercial where he’s a motivational speaker, his nose won’t grow when he says NXT wrestlers have lots of potential.
Professional wrestling gets a lot of crap these days for being “gay porn” or “a redneck soap opera”. WWE NXT is quickly proving those two slurs to be wrong. The wrestlers are awesome to watch in the ring. The storylines are believable and are therefore easy to sit through. The commentary team isn’t constantly at each other’s throats nor are they trying to make corny jokes all the time. Like I said before, WWE NXT is bullshit-free television. If you want to make a layman into a believer, show them a random episode from this weekly series. Or if you really want to put your best foot forward, show him or her one of the two-hour specials. Bottom line: I can’t picture Triple H or Stephanie McMahon referring to the NXT staff as “B+ players” anytime soon.
When you leave your mark on this world, what will it be in the form of? Will it be a painting that hangs proudly on the museum walls? Will it be a piece of fan fiction on Deviant Art? Will it be stone sculpture in the middle of a water park where dogs and children play? Or will you be a chalk outline on the sidewalk waiting for the rain to wash it away? If you’ve heard the song “Chalk Outline” by Three Days Grace, you know exactly where this is coming from.
Some people are still walking and breathing and yet they feel like chalk outlines anyways. They’re stressed out at work, bored with their relationships, and tired of their general routines. If this scenario makes you feel like a chalk outline, it may be time to try something new. After all, Einstein always said the true definition of insanity is doing the same thing every day and expecting different results.
You don’t necessarily have to be an artist or a celebrity of any kind in order to make an impression on this world. Sometimes giving other people something to think about is enough. Even the smallest act of kindness can be the difference between life or death in the mind of another person. Let’s say you buy a homeless man a cup of coffee and a donut. You think that homeless man will judge you for being a chalk outline? It’s hard to do that with a mouthful of dough and sugar. That spike in his blood cholesterol may have improved his mood to where he actually forgot he was dealt a crappy hand.
What about a panting dog trapped in a car during the summertime blues? You think he’ll be grateful if you smash the car window and get him out of that boiling cauldron of a vehicle? How about a barista who’s working a nine to five position at the coffee bar at Barnes & Noble. You think she’ll be grateful for generous tips after her paychecks don’t even break the minimum wage limit? Maybe you’re in a relationship with a girl who’s feeling self-conscious about how a dress is making her look “fat”. You think she’d appreciate it if you told her she looked fantastic? Maybe even sexy?
People like to downplay themselves as being chalk outlines despite the random acts of kindness they commit and it’s unfortunate they do that. They believe memories will eventually fade when the person gets older and Alzheimer’s kicks in. That’s a myth and a half. I don’t care how old you are, because if somebody gives you an adrenaline shot of happiness, you’re probably going to use that memory to replace any bad memories that are haunting your mind like a traumatic ghost.
This may not be the exact message Adam Gontier was thinking of when he wrote this song for Three Days Grace. But just like with any piece of art, the audience is free to interpret it any way they want. That’s why Good Reads authors are encouraged not to explain themselves to people who gave them one or two-star reviews. Even those who absorb the media have the right to be free from the thought police’s brutality. I’m not saying Adam Gontier would ever do that to his fans, I’m just talking in general terms.
I do wish Mr. Gontier good luck in his solo career. I don’t necessarily agree with his decision to leave Three Days Grace since he was such an influential member. But who am I to tell him he’s wrong? If he needs to get away from the group for a while and focus on himself, he’s going to do that without repercussions. Sometimes a permanent sabbatical is just what the doctor ordered. Isn’t that right, CM Punk?
***WRESTLING QUOTE OF THE DAY***
“If you don’t win the NXT World Title, you won’t be known as Tyson Kidd. You’ll be known as Natalya’s husband.”
-Michael Cole-
