Got a Gripe?

CHORUS

Got a gripe? Let’s hear you blast it out your windpipes

Want to bitch? Let’s hear your used car sales pitch

Got a problem? Blow it out your apple bottom

Come on, you fucking clown, spit it out, spit it out

 

VERSE 1

“You need to lose weight, stop dressing like a slob

Put away the baby toys, go and get yourself a job

Put away the magic novel, watch the news instead

Cut that ratty ass mullet off your motherfucking head”

What are you going to do, make a citizen’s arrest?

Let’s put that rough and tough shit to the ultimate test

What’s that? You’re all talk and no action?

You’re not half a man, you’re a much smaller fraction

 

CHORUS

Got a gripe? Let’s hear you blast it out your windpipes

Want to bitch? Let’s hear your used car sales pitch

Got a problem? Blow it out your apple bottom

Come on, you fucking clown, spit it out, spit it out

 

VERSE 2

“My personality type is lead-poisoned Churchie

I got no soul, because my big daddy hurt me

Couldn’t break the cycle with a live jackhammer

I got white man tears, that’s the reason for the stammer”

I got some advice for a man of your excuses

Pull the bootstraps, but you know you can’t do it

It’s what you used to say once upon a distant time

As a meaningless solution to the big city’s crime

 

CHORUS

Got a gripe? Let’s hear you blast it out your windpipes

Want to bitch? Let’s hear your used car sales pitch

Got a problem? Blow it out your apple bottom

Come on, you fucking clown, spit it out, spit it out

 

VERSE 3

“I tried to say sorry, but you wouldn’t hear a word

‘Cause everything I say is like an ableist slur

I’m on my hands and knees saying please, please, please

At this point, it’s nothing more than sappy ass cheese”

You don’t get forgiveness, ‘cause it costs too much

There’s no easy quick fix for repairing broken trust

You could spend your whole life getting in good graces

Doesn’t mean shit to me, ‘cause I’ve seen your two faces

 

OUTRO

Spit it out, spit it out, do it one last time

Spit it out, spit it out, say your HR lines

Spit it out, spit it out, let’s hear what you’ve got

Dude, I’m just kidding, you’re only sorry that you’re caught

Why

CHORUS 1

Why, Garrison, why?

Why did you leave me alone?

Why, Garrison, why?

Why won’t you pick up the phone?

VERSE 1

Because you came to my turf looking for a fight

After I just worked my ass off all fucking night

Tired and sore, I couldn’t wait to leave your sight

You called me chicken shit, though you weren’t even right

Good friends always carry a butterfly knife

So they can put it in my back, put an end to my life

But all you really did was sever our ties

I won’t accept apologies, because they’re all lies

CHORUS 2

Why, Garrison, why?

Why are you holding a grudge?

Why, Garrison, why?

Why won’t you ever budge?

VERSE 2

After so many years, you showed your true colors

They were brown and yellow, literally no others

Anyone stuck in middle school gym class

Knows that they’re colors left by dogs in the grass

You crawled straight out of the devil’s ass

Goosestepped into infinite with the clones en masse

You got your hand in the air like you just don’t care

The disenfranchised left you with a thousand-yard stare

CHORUS 3

Why, Garrison, why?

What did I do that was wrong?

Why, Garrison, why?

Why can’t you just be strong?

VERSE 3

Real strength doesn’t come from a clip and magazine

Do you disagree? That’s a bad faith fallacy

Real strength comes from knowing when to walk away

From a toxic piece of shit who leads me astray

You could love-bomb me until the apocalypse happens

But that sinking ship has sailed and you are the captain

I on the other hand am the king of my life, dude

Stop swinging from my nuts, what are you, my waifu?

CHORUS 4

Why, Garrison, why?

I need some answers

Why, Garrison, why?

Why can’t I be your favorite dancer?

FINAL LINE

Because I said so, you sick prick