One Million Faces

***ONE MILLION FACES***

One of my mother’s favorite nicknames for me is Sonshine (no, that’s not a typo), so it’s only natural that for my 32^nd birthday she would buy me a copy of Anette Olzon’s solo album called “Shine”. Before her termination in 2012, Anette Olzon was the lead singer for Nightwish and Tarja Turunen’s replacement in that same band. Her solo album is a much softer departure from her work with Tuomas Holopainen’s symphonic metal band. I contemplated referring to Anette Olzon as the female Michael Bolton with her new soft rock sound, but I don’t know if she would take it as an insult or a compliment, so I decided to keep it to myself. Hehe! Anyways, my favorite track on the CD has easily become “One Million Faces”. I listen to that song more often than anything else on that album and it’s because of the melodic and sorrowful nature that I’ve grown attracted to in music recently. If you’re ever surfing You Tube, be sure to look up “One Million Faces” by Anette Olzon. Or better yet, buy her entire solo album and support her music career. She’s been through a rough breakup with both her ex-husband and her old band Nightwish, so she needs all the support she can get. There’s not one bad track on that CD, but you’ll really get sentimental about “One Million Faces”. These are the lyrics:

VERSE 1

Where are those hidden miracles
We once shared
The laughter in the night
No one knows how the story goes
Make believes
Hidden like a ghost

CHORUS

All I wanted in my life was you
Dreams and moments that was shared with you
One million faces but the one I knew
Were all a masquerade
One million faces

VERSE 2

In the dark
In the darkest night
All I hear are shadows from behind
Now I see all the things so clear
But my pain still remains the same

CHORUS

All I wanted in my life was you
Dreams and moments that was shared with you
One million faces but the one I knew
Were all a masquerade

One million faces

***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***

Normally, I begin my litany of self-promotions by talking about my next WSS contest entry. Yesterday evening, I already posted “The Golden Angel”, so that kind of spoils the surprise of it all. But with this new piece of superhero fiction comes new characters to draw. I’ve already drawn The Golden Angel himself and he looks like a weird hybrid between Goldust and Stardust from the WWE. The Dark Paladin, Goldie’s nemesis, is next on deck and he’s going to look just as terrifying as he was in that story, minus the maggot-infested dick.

***THE BEST IN THE WORLD: AT WHAT I HAVE NO IDEA***

If you follow me on Good Reads, you would have noticed that I deleted “Dana White: King of MMA” by June White from my reading list. I tried to read it earlier today, but I just couldn’t get into it. She repeats herself a lot, she has a boring writing style, and she tells instead of shows. I didn’t want to give her a one-star review because I generally don’t like giving those since they have the power to ruin an author’s reputation. So instead of dragging June White’s name through the mud, I decided my next nonfiction book should be a breath of fresh air: “The Best in the World: At What I Have No Idea” by Chris Jericho. Chris has always been a source of wisdom and entertainment in books past, so this third memoir of his should be just as exciting and fun.

***MOVIE DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

CRAZY K: Shut up! Shut the fuck up!

DR. CUSHING: Why should they, Jerome? Are they saying things you don’t like to hear?

CRAZY K: So now you’re going to blame all this shit on me? You trying to make me crazy, motherfucker? I don’t owe any responsibilities to these motherfuckers!

DR. CUSHING: But you are responsible, Jerome, for the lives you’ve taken and for the dreams you’ve turned into nightmares.

CRAZY K: Nightmares? Motherfucker, what about my nightmares? What about the nightmare I’ve lived in? What about the nightmare I’ve lived in since I was born in this motherfucker? Who’s responsible for that?

DR. CUSHING: I don’t know, Jerome, you tell me! Who is responsible? Your mother? Your father? Your teachers? The world? Who?!

CRAZY K: Yeah, that’s right! All those motherfuckers created me! So now I’m the motherfucking nightmare!

DR. CUSHING: The nightmare ends when you say it does, Jerome! You’ve got to take responsibility to wake up! You’ve got to take responsibility to break this chain!

CRAZY K: I’ve only got one fucking responsibility in this world and that’s me! That’s it, motherfucker! So everybody and everything that ain’t me ain’t shit! Do you understand me?!

DR. CUSHING: That’s a question best posed to yourself. I’m giving you a chance! I’m giving you a shot at redemption! Do you understand that?!

CRAZY K: I don’t give a fuck about any of these stupid motherfuckers! So what you do is stop fucking with my mind, man, and let me out of this motherfucker!

DR. CUSHING: There’s nothing to stop you, Jerome.

(Crazy K breaks free and puts Nurse Roland in a sleeper hold.)

DR. CUSHING: Jerome!

CRAZY K: Shut the fuck up! Shut up! You let me out of this motherfucker or I swear to God I’ll snap this bitch’s neck!

DR. CUSHING: Jerome, it’s not too late to be saved! You won’t get another chance!

CRAZY K: I don’t need no motherfucking chance! You know why?! ‘Cause I don’t give a fuck! I said I don’t give a fuck! I don’t give a fuck! I don’t give a fuck! I don’t give a fuck! I don’t give a fuck! I don’t give a FUCK!

-Tales From the Hood: Hardcore Convert-

"My Fight / Your Fight" by Ronda Rousey

BOOK TITLE: My Fight / Your Fight
AUTHOR: Ronda Rousey (with Maria Burns-Ortiz)
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Nonfiction
SUBGENRE: MMA Memoir
GRADE: Pass

Ronda Rousey is world renowned for being an undefeated MMA fighter in her first twelve matches, a Women’s Bantamweight Champion, and the sole reason why women’s MMA is as respected as it is today. On an episode of TMZ in 2011, an interviewer asked UFC President Dana White when he was going to include a women’s division. His answer? “Never.” But the minute he saw Ronda Rousey generating buzz with her quick victories and trash talk, he never said never again. The rest is history. It’s a history that not just transformed a combat sport or women’s rights, but it changed the whole world. Anybody who says, “It’s impossible!” is a bold-faced liar. Just ask Ronda.

Getting to the top of the UFC’s mountain may seem like an open and shut case for Ronda given her fast victories in the cage. But make no mistake about it: the road to success was paved with blood, sweat, and tears. Lots and lots of tears. The obstacles thrown in front of her included the death of her father, dealing with losses at the Olympic Games, being broke and living in her car to, arguing with her strict judoka mother, and having rotten boyfriends who treated her like crap. This memoir is just one big David vs. Goliath battle where Ronda is David and the harshness of life itself is Goliath. Most people would allow Goliath to crush them underneath his leather sandals. Not Ronda. She fought back and threw Goliath on his big ass before wrenching his arm out of its socket. The toughness and passion of this woman is something that will inspire everybody who reads her memoir.

The other thing I thoroughly enjoyed about this book was the way Ronda described her opponents leading up to either a judo competition or an MMA fight. With the fiery, hateful, and often colorful language she uses to talk about people who stand in her way of success, you’d swear she was a mass murderer. Hell, there is even several occasions where she says in her head, “I’m going to fucking kill you, bitch!” This hellfire and brimstone attitude is actually an excellent motivator for her to win her matches in convincing fashion. Isn’t that right, Miesha Tate? In their second fight, Ronda beat the living shit out of Miesha for three straight rounds, not because Miesha was actually capable of outlasting her, but because Ronda wanted to tear her apart limb from limb and leave her a rotting corpse in the cage. All that fire, all of that venom, and all of that rage has lead Ronda to twelve victories in her MMA career, all but one of them ending in the first round. Yikes!

The final thing I would like to touch on is the amusing nicknames she gives her ex-boyfriends. It’s a creative way to avoid a slander lawsuit by avoiding their real names. Her first lover was named Dick Itty-Bitty and he was a lying, cheating son of a bitch. Another boyfriend she had was Creepy McSnappers, who took naked pictures of her and prompted her to kick the shit out of him. And then there was Norm, who was so average in every department and had a knack for being a control freak. The one flattering name she gave an ex-boyfriend was DPCG (Dog Park Cute Guy), an animal lover whose past with drugs and alcohol caught up to him one too many times. As of March 2016, the month I’m writing this review, she’s dating fellow UFC fighter Travis Browne. If she writes another memoir, what nickname will she give him? Big Ass Hawaiian? Sounds reasonable to me. Hehe!

Even if you’re not a fan of mixed-martial arts, the memoir stands alone as a tale of overcoming difficulties and being strong to keep going afterwards. Not only did Ronda Rousey rise from the ashes of a heartbreaking and nightmarish life, but she looks like goddess and smells like roses. Actually, there was one point where her Honda Accord smelled like dirty laundry and dog BO, but those things are badges of honor in a life where everything is earned through battle and blood. A passing grade for an A+ superstar like Ronda Rousey!

Lawrence Moody

NAME: Lawrence Moody
AGE: 43
OCCUPATION: Romance Author
CANON: It’s Just a Story


Whenever a celebrity is accused of bigotry, it can be a traumatizing experience for that person, especially if he or she is innocent of those charges. Does anybody remember a former UFC bantamweight fighter named Miguel Torres? He was once fired from the company for tweeting a rape joke.

The backlash against him was brutal and maybe he deserved some of that. But in order to ease himself of the trauma, he donated his time and money to rape shelters in Chicago and took sensitivity classes. He was subsequently rehired by the UFC. Dana White could be quoted as saying, “Everybody fucks up. It’s what you do afterwards that makes you who you are.”

And thus we have a segue into Lawrence Moody, a romance author who gears his books toward piggish male fantasies and responds to his critics not by apologizing or taking sensitivity classes, but by physically assaulting them or arranging to have them beaten by police or security detail. The most disgusting part about this? Most of his critics are women and Lawrence is much bigger than all of them.

It didn’t help matters that Lawrence was dating a Filipino model named Venice Reyes and used her sexy photographs as part of the covers to his novels. If anybody needed to be convinced of Lawrence’s “innocence”, it was Venice. The couple got into many arguments over the subject of sexism, mostly while trying to get away from angry female protesters who threw eggs with stinging impact.

Lawrence could do his damnedest to try and convince Venice that he was just a normal guy and not a bigot, but when she actually read his recent novel, she found out what exactly it was he was promoting: wife swapping. Their final argument ended when Lawrence accidentally shoved Venice down the stairs of their home and crushed her skull. The story concluded with Mr. Moody turning himself in to the police.

The fact that I didn’t get any backlash from writing this 12-page story was a stroke of luck. After all, Lawrence was portrayed as the hero and the feminist protesters and critics were the evil antagonists. Originally, I wrote this story to prove the point that zeal, no matter what form it comes in, is no good for anybody. But instead it read like a chauvinist manifesto that I’m now ashamed of.

While it didn’t happen for this story, I have been accused of bigotry before whether it was against women, children, or just plain guys from the deep south. Suffering that wave of verbal assaults was traumatizing for me. Sometimes I would respond by screaming in my critics’ faces and it would bring about even more backlash than before. When I actually apologized for my actions and told the truth of not being bigoted, things calmed down and were much happier for me.

Over the years, I’ve learned being diplomatic is better than being violent. Hatred breeds more hatred while love breeds more love. During the times I was accused of bigotry, I wasn’t aware that I was being prejudiced in the first place. I actually thought those things were normal. Thanks to a broader worldview and a lot of experience, I know how to cool down the fires I start, intentional or not.

If I ever do use Lawrence Moody again, it won’t be in a heroic fashion. He will be portrayed as an example of what NOT to do if you’re an artist of any kind. He will be aggressive. He will be unsympathetic. He will be everything my audience hates in a villain. When he is conquered by his own boiling cauldron of hot rage, he will deserve every minute of his suffering.

He may take the form of a sexist romance author. He may be a politician. He may even be part of the top one-percent of the top one-percent, in which case, he better be ready for Mr. Robot to serve his ass on a platter. No matter what role he takes, Lawrence Moody will never speak for my misguided past ever again.

　

***CELEBRITY QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“If a man wants you for your breasts, thighs, and legs, send him to KFC. You’re a lady, not a cheap value meal.”

-Nicholas Cage-

UFC: Gilbert Melendez vs. Diego Sanchez

TITLE: UFC: Gilbert Melendez vs. Diego Sanchez

GENRE: Mixed-Martial Arts Contest

RATING: TV-14 for violence and blood

GRADE: Pass

A TV-14 rating doesn’t do this UFC fight justice. Let’s try some more creative titles for this bloody slugfest between two aggressive lightweights. How about Diet Hostel? How about Zero Carb Saw? Or if you really wanted to get disgusting, try Human Centipede Light. Tuck the kids in early, folks, because the battle between Diego Sanchez and Gilbert Melendez was so brutal it should have been fought in a Roman coliseum. Are you prepared for me to show instead of tell? Alright then, I can certainly do that.

The first round of the fight was anything but a feeling out process. Gilbert and Diego didn’t paw at each other or try to keep each other at distance. They came out swinging like they were playing Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Robots. The punches and kicks were so frequent in this round that the strike count must have been in the hundreds. And then when the round was almost over, the strikes became even more frequent. The closer to the ending horn they got, the more it resembled a battle from Dragon Ball Z: blurs and blood.

No disrespect to the first round, but the second round was where the bloodbath began. Gilbert Melendez smashed Diego Sanchez above his left eyebrow and opened up a gusher of a cut. That one extra hole in Diego’s head made his entire face look like a vampire’s dream come true. There was even a point in the second round where the referee Kerry Hadley had to pause the match so the ringside doctor could look at the cut. Despite the drooling blood, all that needed to happen was a liberal application of clear ointment and the match continued.

The third round was more of the same: Bravo-Oscar-Oscar-Lima-Delta. Once again Kerry Hadley paused the match due to the waterfall flowing from Diego’s head and once again the doctor put more ointment on the cut. Truth is, there isn’t enough ointment in this world to keep Gilbert Melendez from opening somebody’s face with his chainsaw fists. Gilbert and Diego kept swinging and smashing each other to where both of them were in danger of being finished. The final horn sounded and the fans were on their feet screaming their heads off. If they screamed any louder, the doctor would have more blood to clean up because of the exploding skulls all over the arena.

The judges didn’t have much of a chore to do that night. It was obvious from Dracula’s buffet table who was the clear winner of this battle. The judges scored the fight 30-27, 29-28, and 29-28, all three of those scores in favor of Gilbert Melendez. What puzzles me about all of this is why would the audience boo that decision? It’s not rocket science, it’s brain surgery, almost literally. Gilbert won the fight fair and square and the audience is going to bitch about the decision? Is Diego Sanchez that untouchable?

It should come as no shock this fight earned praise from everyone in the MMA community who wasn’t booing like a lunatic. Both Gilbert Melendez and Diego Sanchez earned Fight of the Night bonuses from Dana White. They also earned the Fight of the Year award from the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, which is a prestigious pro-wrestling and MMA publication. Joe Rogan called it the best fight he’s ever seen and he sounded like he was serious this time. Mike Goldberg made a wise-ass remark to the tune of “Jones and Gustafson who?”, though he was only kidding and meant no disrespect.

All the praise in the world can’t compare to what Gilbert Melendez received for his victory: a lightweight title shot against Anthony Pettis. Congratulations, guys. The judges ruled in Gilbert’s favor, but there are no losers in this match.

Devon Spirit Wolf

Being a referee in any sport is a thankless job, especially in the world of mixed-martial arts. If you make one tiny mistake as a referee, a firestorm of criticism will descend upon you like the end of the world is already upon us. You’ll catch shit from Dana White, Joe Rogan, the fans, the fighters, everybody. If you don’t believe me, ask referees like Steve Mazzigatti, Kim Winslow, Yves Lavigne, and just recently, Herb Dean. I don’t have a Twitter account, so I never know if these referees are lashing out against their critics. That’s why I’ve taken the liberty of creating a character that I hope to one day use in a future combat sports prose. Meet Devon Spirit Wolf. She’s Native American, she’s smoking hot, but best of all, she’s opinionated. In fact, she has her own blog called The Bitchy Referee. In this blog, she has a take no prisoners attitude and she doesn’t let anybody get away with murder. I know referees are supposed to be impartial, but Devon can get away with it because she lives in a fictional world were neutrality is bullshit. In one of her posts, she says that she has a lot of empathy for real world referee Kim Winslow. Kim is one of the most criticized referees in the business. Not because she makes controversial calls, but because she’s a woman. Think of all the “make me a sandwich” comments she had to endure over the internet, not to mention other renditions of the kitchen genre. Devon is also a woman and also doesn’t put up with sexism. She also doesn’t put up with transphobia either. In fact, when Matt Mitrione made his bigoted comments about Fallon Fox, Devon was the first to say that Matt secretly swung both ways and that he had a dress collection in his closet. Ouch! You know what else Devon Spirit Wolf hates? Pro-life zealots. She actually had an abortion when she was a teenager. She knows it’s not the most pleasant experience a woman can go through, but she also knows that a woman should never be shamed for it. Any other topics you’d like to throw in front of Devon Spirit Wolf’s face? She may be small enough to fit in Demetrious Johnson’s pockets, but she’ll kick anybody’s ass, whether it’s verbally or physically. She has a Brazilian Jujitsu black belt, so don’t piss her off. Now if only she can find a job in one of my stories. I already had one referee who was verbally animated and her name was Cheryl Glenn. I’m sure Devon Spirit Wolf will find work as well.

　

***DOMESTIC QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“If men want women to buy rape insurance, men should have to buy murder insurance.”

-Susan Wilson, the Deep Space Cowgirl-

Books and Cage Fights

In all the time I’ve maintained this blog, it seems as though I’ve spoken more about mixed-martial arts than actual books. Hell, I even have an old post on here where I stand up for Fallon Fox after all the verbal abuse she’s taken. On DeviantART, I have a journal entry where I question the hatred toward the UFC for attempting to bail out Jeremy Stephens after his assault charge so that he can fight on the card. My MMA references on both sites may appear accidental, but they’re by design, for a different reason from the fact that I’m a fan. The way I see it (and as many of you guessed from the first post I made back in 2012), a good book should be like a bonus-worthy cage fight. For those of you who aren’t UFC savvy, I’ll explain the whole bonus jargon to you. Every UFC event has a series of fights and afterwards UFC President Dana White will give out bonus checks to the fighters for Knockout of the Night, Submission of the Night, and Fight of the Night. What do post-fight bonuses have to do with a good book? Usually, the post-fight bonuses will go to fighters who made their fight a fast-paced battle with lots of action and very few breaks. Do you see the operative words there? Face-paced and lots of action. The books don’t necessarily have to be thrillers or mysteries in order to meet this criteria. They just have to be fun to read, in the same way that a bonus-worthy fight is fun to watch. For example, if you pick up any novel by Carl Hiaasen, it’ll be just as exciting to read as Dennis Bermudez vs. Matt Grice was fun to watch. Carl Hiaasen knows when to strike and does so in large volumes, much like the eventual winner of the fight Dennis Bermudez, who won by split decision. On the positive-negative spectrum, the MMA example works the other way as well. If you pick up a copy of Beowulf in its original format (fruity language and all), reading this slow-paced nightmare will be a lot like watching Frank Mir vs. Mirko Cro Cop. If you can’t decipher the poetic language of Beowulf as accurately as the A+ students in my Pre-16^th Century Lit class did, you’ll have no idea what the hell is going on and you’ll probably think there’s not much activity. The Frank Mir vs. Mirko Cro Cop fight back at UFC 119 could be described as the worst performance in both fighters’ careers due to the inactivity. It was so lackluster that even though Frank Mir was the only fighter on the UFC 119 card who recorded a knockout victory (knee), Dana White refused to give him the Knockout of the Night award. So with all of these MMA references floating around, you’re probably wondering why I’m not converting this blog from Garrison’s Library to Garrison’s Octagon. It’s because I’m a bookworm and writer first and a cage fighting aficionado second. I’ll gladly put pen to paper, but I’ll never get in an MMA cage for as long as I live. I’m too out of shape for athletic competition and really, the only way I could win a fight with these monsters is by kicking them in the nuts, gouging them in the eyes, or smashing their clavicles. I hope this blog entry answered those lingering MMA questions.

　

***MIXED-MARTIAL ARTS QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“For those of you who were booing the flyweight fight tonight, do me a favor. Please don’t ever buy another UFC pay-per-view again. I don’t want your money.”

-Dana White-

National Novel Writing Month

There comes a time in every writer’s life, preferably every November, that he has to ask himself if he’s going to participate in National Novel Writing Month. It’s not an official contest, it’s just a challenge for all authors to pump out a novel before the end of November. You want to know my answer to this riddle? Not only no, but hell no. NaNoWriMo requires its participants to create on the fly. No preparation, no pre-writing, no planning of any kind, just straight up improvisation. I don’t operate that way. If I wanted to improvise so badly, I’d join the cast of Whose Line Is It Anyway? Or Second City, one of those groups. If I was to just drop everything I’m doing right now and write random shit I think of at the top of my head, not only might I get stuck in the middle of it, but my novel will suck. Call me a perfectionist, but I want my first drafts to be at least tolerable so that I don’t have much work to do when it comes time to edit. That’s why whenever I come up with ideas for novels, I have to do it far in advance so that everything’s planned out and nothing sucks. I’m currently writing a three-part novel called Brawl-Mart and it was planned out from beginning to end. I’ve finished parts one and two (Occupy Wrestling and Filter Feeder respectively) and all I have left of part three (Debt of Pain) is eight chapters of action. I would have completed the whole novel a lot sooner than anticipated, but lately I’ve been slowing down my writing schedule due to mental exhaustion and being bogged down by other projects. That’s another reason why I don’t participate in NaNoWriMo, because I can’t energize my mind long enough to get anything done in a timely fashion. It may take the entire month, it may take a whole fucking year. Either way, it may come out forced and therefore, it might suck, which is as I’ve stated before not what I want when writing a first draft. If anything, November will be dedicated to finishing those remaining eight chapters of Brawl Mart Pt. 3: Debt of Pain. And then after that, who knows where I’ll go from there. I have two ideas for novels sitting in my reserve folder as of now: Gangster’s Paradise (memoir of an anti-gang serial killer) and a nonfiction memoir of my life in middle school, high school, and college which I’m still debating the title of. I may develop more ideas beyond these and if I do, you all will be the first ones to know. Until then, I’m going to spend November doing essentially the same thing as everyone else: stuffing my face full of mashed potatoes and turkey. I won’t be watching any football since football is a boring sport with annoyingly loud fans. I’ll just stick to UFC and WWE for my athletic fix.

　

***MIXED-MARTIAL ARTS QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“The judges are giving out 10-8’s like it’s fucking Christmas.”

-Dana White on an episode of “The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nelson vs. Team Carwin”-

"Dana White: Ultimate Fighting Quotes" by Nathan Cairns

To give you an idea of what you can expect from this teeny tiny 50-page book, I’ve decided to treat you all to an actual speech Dana White gave as it relates to EliteXC, a rival promotion that was trying to run UFC into the ground. It goes like this:

“The idiot Gary Shaw actually does an interview with the LA Times where he says, ‘We didn’t do anything wrong. There’s nothing wrong with paying people to stand up. We’ve got no problem doing that.’ Yes, you scumbag! There is a problem with that! Think about this: Mandalay Bay and the Venetian both had betting on this. You, the consumer, the mixed-martial arts fan, can go in and bet on these fights. You’re probably thinking, ‘Well, if Seth Petruzelli can get Kimbo Slice to the ground, this fight’s over. I’m going to bet my money that Seth Petruzelli is going to win by submission.’ But you don’t know the scumbag promoters behind the scenes went in and paid Seth Petruzelli to not go to the ground. They paid him to stand up, you know why? They thought Kimbo Slice was going to viciously knock him out. But Kimbo Slice sucks, like I’ve been saying for a couple of months now. This fucking guy can’t fight and he got knocked out in 13 seconds by a guy who didn’t win the Ultimate Fighter, who didn’t win fights in the UFC. They actually brought him up from the undercard to fight the main event guy and he knocks Kimbo Slice out in 13 seconds. It would be like if there’s a game between the Browns and the Patriots and the NFL goes backstage and says to the Browns, ‘We know you guys have a great running game, so we’re to pay you money to just pass the ball, because the Patriots pull higher ratings than you do and we need them to make it to the playoffs.’ That’s fucking illegal! So Gary Shaw, rapper, whatever the fuck your name is, Shaw Jr., and Jeremy Lappen, if you think going to the ground is boring, that’s mixed-martial arts. You scumbags need to be in the kickboxing business if that’s what you’re selling, if you need to pay guys to stand up. These fucking jerk-offs don’t care about mixed-martial arts. They’re just in it for the money. Me and my crew have been busting our asses trying to promote this sport and show how incredible these athletes are, and now you’ve got these boxing scumbags trying to fix fights. It’s unbelievable!”

Believe it or not, that was just the appetizer. The main course comes when you actually purchase the book! Happy reading!

　

***MIXED-MARTIAL ARTS QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“Gunnar Nelson is so calm, he looks like he’s getting ready to go to bed.”

-Joe Rogan-

"Death Clutch" by Brock Lesnar

Here’ s a question for all of you wrestling and MMA fans out there. Have you ever wondered why Brock Lesnar doesn’t have a Twitter account or a Face Book page? It’s because like Bentley Little and Ted Kaczynski, he makes himself a little bit difficult to find. Don’t worry, it’s not because he’s making bombs. He’s a 300 lb. freak who can cause explosions with his fists alone, so he wouldn’t need bombs. Lesnar bills himself as a private person who enjoys a boring life in the woods. He hates the media, he hates cameras flashing on him and his family, basically the man just wants to be left alone. On the back of “Death Clutch”, he specifically states that his memoir is the only real access you’ll ever have to his personal life and that you shouldn’t expect another invite. You’d think being a hellishly strong athlete would be the life people could only dream about. You’d think being a former WWE and UFC champion would be the golden ticket to paradise. Lesnar’s life is anything but paradise. The road to getting the NCAA Division 1 wrestling championship was lined with massive bumps and potholes in the form of horrible losses, expensive classes, and disappointing outcomes. Being a WWE superstar was no better since it requires constantly traveling and being far away from your family a lot. Transitioning to the UFC wasn’t a piece of cake either since that was when Lesnar battled an intestinal disease that not only kept him out of action for so long, but also threatened his life. But despite all of these deadly obstacles, Lesnar came out a survivor. As I’ve mentioned earlier, his many accolades prove it. An NCAA Division 1 wrestling champion. A multiple time WWE champion. A King of the Ring and Royal Rumble winner. A UFC heavyweight champion and submission of the night winner. Considering Brock Lesnar started out as a mere farm boy with shallow pockets, that’s not a bad way to earn six to seven figures a year. You show me someone who can duplicate these accolades and I’ll show you the next Brock Lesnar success story.

　

***WRESTLING JOKE OF THE DAY***

Q: Who did Paul Heyman vote for in the 2008 presidential election?
A: Barack Lesnar.