Lawrence Moody

NAME: Lawrence Moody
AGE: 43
OCCUPATION: Romance Author
CANON: It’s Just a Story


Whenever a celebrity is accused of bigotry, it can be a traumatizing experience for that person, especially if he or she is innocent of those charges. Does anybody remember a former UFC bantamweight fighter named Miguel Torres? He was once fired from the company for tweeting a rape joke.

The backlash against him was brutal and maybe he deserved some of that. But in order to ease himself of the trauma, he donated his time and money to rape shelters in Chicago and took sensitivity classes. He was subsequently rehired by the UFC. Dana White could be quoted as saying, “Everybody fucks up. It’s what you do afterwards that makes you who you are.”

And thus we have a segue into Lawrence Moody, a romance author who gears his books toward piggish male fantasies and responds to his critics not by apologizing or taking sensitivity classes, but by physically assaulting them or arranging to have them beaten by police or security detail. The most disgusting part about this? Most of his critics are women and Lawrence is much bigger than all of them.

It didn’t help matters that Lawrence was dating a Filipino model named Venice Reyes and used her sexy photographs as part of the covers to his novels. If anybody needed to be convinced of Lawrence’s “innocence”, it was Venice. The couple got into many arguments over the subject of sexism, mostly while trying to get away from angry female protesters who threw eggs with stinging impact.

Lawrence could do his damnedest to try and convince Venice that he was just a normal guy and not a bigot, but when she actually read his recent novel, she found out what exactly it was he was promoting: wife swapping. Their final argument ended when Lawrence accidentally shoved Venice down the stairs of their home and crushed her skull. The story concluded with Mr. Moody turning himself in to the police.

The fact that I didn’t get any backlash from writing this 12-page story was a stroke of luck. After all, Lawrence was portrayed as the hero and the feminist protesters and critics were the evil antagonists. Originally, I wrote this story to prove the point that zeal, no matter what form it comes in, is no good for anybody. But instead it read like a chauvinist manifesto that I’m now ashamed of.

While it didn’t happen for this story, I have been accused of bigotry before whether it was against women, children, or just plain guys from the deep south. Suffering that wave of verbal assaults was traumatizing for me. Sometimes I would respond by screaming in my critics’ faces and it would bring about even more backlash than before. When I actually apologized for my actions and told the truth of not being bigoted, things calmed down and were much happier for me.

Over the years, I’ve learned being diplomatic is better than being violent. Hatred breeds more hatred while love breeds more love. During the times I was accused of bigotry, I wasn’t aware that I was being prejudiced in the first place. I actually thought those things were normal. Thanks to a broader worldview and a lot of experience, I know how to cool down the fires I start, intentional or not.

If I ever do use Lawrence Moody again, it won’t be in a heroic fashion. He will be portrayed as an example of what NOT to do if you’re an artist of any kind. He will be aggressive. He will be unsympathetic. He will be everything my audience hates in a villain. When he is conquered by his own boiling cauldron of hot rage, he will deserve every minute of his suffering.

He may take the form of a sexist romance author. He may be a politician. He may even be part of the top one-percent of the top one-percent, in which case, he better be ready for Mr. Robot to serve his ass on a platter. No matter what role he takes, Lawrence Moody will never speak for my misguided past ever again.

　

***CELEBRITY QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“If a man wants you for your breasts, thighs, and legs, send him to KFC. You’re a lady, not a cheap value meal.”

-Nicholas Cage-