"The Best in the World" by Chris Jericho

BOOK TITLE: The Best in the World: At What I Have No Idea

AUTHOR: Chris Jericho (with Peter Thomas Fornatale)

YEAR: 2014

GENRE: Nonfiction

SUBGENRE: Pro-Wrestling Memoir

GRADE: Pass

Chronicling his WWE career from 2007 to 2013, Chris Jericho was the wrestling industry’s most despised villain in an era when they were in short supply. Whether he was feuding with Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Edge, or CM Punk to name a few, the WWE Universe kept their eyes glued to the TV screen and those in attendance got so aggressive that they nearly rioted. In addition to being a wrestling heel, Jericho was also the front man for the heavy metal act Fozzy and a contestant on Dancing with the Stars. No matter what he did in life, he was always the best in the world at it. Millions of Jerichoholics couldn’t all be wrong.

Watching Chris Jericho’s multiple careers unfold before my very eyes was satisfying to me as a reader. The fact that a small town boy from Canada could reach such heights of fame and fortune is inspiring to anybody who wants to follow their dreams. He’s done it all and he’s maintained friendships with some of the best in the industry, whether it’s members of his own WWE locker room, James Hetfield from Metallica, or M. Shadows from Avenged Sevenfold. All Jericho needed was a fiery passion and a tireless work ethic and he achieved everything he wanted and more. Wrestling championships, music awards, rave reviews, the accolades just kept piling on for Y2J. As a fan of his work for many years, it was an honor to live vicariously through him while reading this book.

Just like his previous two memoirs, A Lion’s Tale and Undisputed, with the help of his ghostwriter, Jericho employs a witty style when telling his life stories. If he wasn’t so busy with pro-wrestling and heavy metal, he could easily enjoy a career as a standup comedian. Hell, he already has access to Hollywood’s biggest names due to his wrestling feud with actor Mickey Rourke and his time on Dancing with the Stars, so maybe that’s something he could do when he eventually hangs up his boots. He relies on pop culture references that are accessible to pretty much any age group, so there’s no need to worry about dud jokes. I don’t want to spoil the jokes for my audience, so that’ll be even more incentive to buy this book and laugh your asses off.

If I could give one piece of criticism to this book, it’s that Chris Jericho has a habit of blowing through entire performances with just “it was a great match” (wrestling for WWE) or “it was a fun set” (touring with Fozzy). There are plenty of times when he goes into gory details such as how he lost a tooth during a ladder match with Shawn Michaels or how he injured his back during his final performance on Dancing with the Stars. However, there are also plenty of other high stakes events that I would have liked more details on. I let him get away with it since this is a celebrity memoir, but as an author myself, if I don’t point this lack of detail out, it’ll be a missed opportunity on my part. Show, don’t tell!

Don’t let that last paragraph shy you away from purchasing this book, though. Whether you’re a wrestling fan, a music fan, or just a guy who likes to watch people succeed while having a good laugh, I highly recommend this memoir from Chris Jericho. After all is said and done, you’ll only have one question: “What are the ropes made out of?!” I’m kidding, of course. Spoiler alert: they’re made out of ropes! Got that, Jon Lovitz, or do you need thirty more minutes of haranguing the WWE superstars? A passing grade will go to this fast-paced fun fest!

One Million Faces

***ONE MILLION FACES***

One of my mother’s favorite nicknames for me is Sonshine (no, that’s not a typo), so it’s only natural that for my 32^nd birthday she would buy me a copy of Anette Olzon’s solo album called “Shine”. Before her termination in 2012, Anette Olzon was the lead singer for Nightwish and Tarja Turunen’s replacement in that same band. Her solo album is a much softer departure from her work with Tuomas Holopainen’s symphonic metal band. I contemplated referring to Anette Olzon as the female Michael Bolton with her new soft rock sound, but I don’t know if she would take it as an insult or a compliment, so I decided to keep it to myself. Hehe! Anyways, my favorite track on the CD has easily become “One Million Faces”. I listen to that song more often than anything else on that album and it’s because of the melodic and sorrowful nature that I’ve grown attracted to in music recently. If you’re ever surfing You Tube, be sure to look up “One Million Faces” by Anette Olzon. Or better yet, buy her entire solo album and support her music career. She’s been through a rough breakup with both her ex-husband and her old band Nightwish, so she needs all the support she can get. There’s not one bad track on that CD, but you’ll really get sentimental about “One Million Faces”. These are the lyrics:

VERSE 1

Where are those hidden miracles
We once shared
The laughter in the night
No one knows how the story goes
Make believes
Hidden like a ghost

CHORUS

All I wanted in my life was you
Dreams and moments that was shared with you
One million faces but the one I knew
Were all a masquerade
One million faces

VERSE 2

In the dark
In the darkest night
All I hear are shadows from behind
Now I see all the things so clear
But my pain still remains the same

CHORUS

All I wanted in my life was you
Dreams and moments that was shared with you
One million faces but the one I knew
Were all a masquerade

One million faces

***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***

Normally, I begin my litany of self-promotions by talking about my next WSS contest entry. Yesterday evening, I already posted “The Golden Angel”, so that kind of spoils the surprise of it all. But with this new piece of superhero fiction comes new characters to draw. I’ve already drawn The Golden Angel himself and he looks like a weird hybrid between Goldust and Stardust from the WWE. The Dark Paladin, Goldie’s nemesis, is next on deck and he’s going to look just as terrifying as he was in that story, minus the maggot-infested dick.

***THE BEST IN THE WORLD: AT WHAT I HAVE NO IDEA***

If you follow me on Good Reads, you would have noticed that I deleted “Dana White: King of MMA” by June White from my reading list. I tried to read it earlier today, but I just couldn’t get into it. She repeats herself a lot, she has a boring writing style, and she tells instead of shows. I didn’t want to give her a one-star review because I generally don’t like giving those since they have the power to ruin an author’s reputation. So instead of dragging June White’s name through the mud, I decided my next nonfiction book should be a breath of fresh air: “The Best in the World: At What I Have No Idea” by Chris Jericho. Chris has always been a source of wisdom and entertainment in books past, so this third memoir of his should be just as exciting and fun.

***MOVIE DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

CRAZY K: Shut up! Shut the fuck up!

DR. CUSHING: Why should they, Jerome? Are they saying things you don’t like to hear?

CRAZY K: So now you’re going to blame all this shit on me? You trying to make me crazy, motherfucker? I don’t owe any responsibilities to these motherfuckers!

DR. CUSHING: But you are responsible, Jerome, for the lives you’ve taken and for the dreams you’ve turned into nightmares.

CRAZY K: Nightmares? Motherfucker, what about my nightmares? What about the nightmare I’ve lived in? What about the nightmare I’ve lived in since I was born in this motherfucker? Who’s responsible for that?

DR. CUSHING: I don’t know, Jerome, you tell me! Who is responsible? Your mother? Your father? Your teachers? The world? Who?!

CRAZY K: Yeah, that’s right! All those motherfuckers created me! So now I’m the motherfucking nightmare!

DR. CUSHING: The nightmare ends when you say it does, Jerome! You’ve got to take responsibility to wake up! You’ve got to take responsibility to break this chain!

CRAZY K: I’ve only got one fucking responsibility in this world and that’s me! That’s it, motherfucker! So everybody and everything that ain’t me ain’t shit! Do you understand me?!

DR. CUSHING: That’s a question best posed to yourself. I’m giving you a chance! I’m giving you a shot at redemption! Do you understand that?!

CRAZY K: I don’t give a fuck about any of these stupid motherfuckers! So what you do is stop fucking with my mind, man, and let me out of this motherfucker!

DR. CUSHING: There’s nothing to stop you, Jerome.

(Crazy K breaks free and puts Nurse Roland in a sleeper hold.)

DR. CUSHING: Jerome!

CRAZY K: Shut the fuck up! Shut up! You let me out of this motherfucker or I swear to God I’ll snap this bitch’s neck!

DR. CUSHING: Jerome, it’s not too late to be saved! You won’t get another chance!

CRAZY K: I don’t need no motherfucking chance! You know why?! ‘Cause I don’t give a fuck! I said I don’t give a fuck! I don’t give a fuck! I don’t give a fuck! I don’t give a fuck! I don’t give a fuck! I don’t give a FUCK!

-Tales From the Hood: Hardcore Convert-