Rest in Peace, George Tiller, For the Only Thing You Killed Was Conservatives' Fragile Egos

 

Silent Warrior, Chapter 12

If there was ever a time for the genre of robot-zombie apocalypse, it was right after lunch period. Everybody’s faces blended together. Scott George’s brain numbed out to where he couldn’t think straight. And the apocalypse part? That was an easy one: his world crashed all around him. Every once and a while, he would look up at the digital clocks of his respective classrooms waiting impatiently for the day to be over. His incessant foot tapping and jittery fingers made him easier to read than a baby’s first book.

After hours and hours of having Novocain rubbed on his brain, the final buzzer sounded and Scott’s wobbly legs brought him to an upright position and out the front door in a slow death march. He couldn’t even remember what day it was, but even his explosive mind could tell that Saturday was just around the corner. Saturday was supposed to be an exciting time in an overworked student’s life. A time to party. A time to play videogames. A time to hang out with friends. Scott might as well have walked straight to the gallows instead of home that day.

He needed a new song on his MP3 player. “After the Rain” by Nickelback? Nah, too positive. How about “Lullaby” from that same group? Nope, hits too close to home with its themes of suicide. Considering Scott’s brain was a scarier place to be than a battlefield full of dead bodies, maybe music wasn’t what he needed at the moment. Not even the hard rock guitars and golden voice of Chad Kroeger would be enough to wake up the corpses in his mind.

“Scott!” called out a familiar feminine voice. “Scott! Over here!” Still no response from the creature whose diet consisted only of brains healthier than his own. And then his world went black with a pair of soft, silky hands covering his eyes. “Guess who, sweetie pie!” Not even the perky voice of his own girlfriend could snap Scott out of his depressive slouch. “Come on, Scott! Rise and shine!”

With the energy of someone who just got out of an apnea-induced slumber, Scott wrapped Adrienne’s arm around his own neck and absentmindedly kissed her on the cheek. “Sorry, babe. Today’s been a massive bucket of suck. I just want to go home.”

“Every day is a massive bucket of suck for you,” said Adrienne as the two lovers walked down the street together. “But something’s really getting to you, isn’t it? You can tell me what it is. I won’t judge you.”

“It’s…it’s your goddamn father again.”

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” said Adrienne flatly. “He has that kind of effect on people. What did he do this time?”

Scott sighed deeply as a way of clearing the clutter in his head. “He gave me an hour detention to serve on Saturday morning. I guess that’s his way of getting back at me for bailing on him.”

“Saturday morning? That’s tomorrow!”

The realization hit Scott like a cannonball to the gut. He crouched down on the ground and coughed violently while Adrienne comforted him with pats and rubs on the shoulders. “Sorry,” he said while breathing heavily. “I completely forgot today was Friday. Holy shit…I’m dead…I’m fucking dead! He wants me to clean the desks in his classroom for him. All that nasty shit that’s under there…just thinking about it killed my appetite…I’m so hungry, damn it!”

Adrienne hugged him around his upper arms and said, “It’ll be alright, Scott. It’s just an hour of your life. After that, you’ll have a fresh start. My dad may be the world’s biggest asshole, but he’s not going to do anything to you that you can’t handle.”

“Where were you, Adrienne?” asked Scott in a raspy voice. “I looked everywhere for you and you didn’t show up to school today.”

“I would have been there to walk with you, but I had a panic attack this morning. I don’t know what triggered it, but it probably means I’m going to be spending longer than usual in my therapist’s office on Sunday. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there, Scott. I really am. Come on, let’s walk you home.” The two of them stood up and proceeded to do just that.

Upon standing up, a piece of paper fell out of Scott’s backpack and Adrienne bent over to pick it up. She stared at it with wide-eyed amazement and an angelic smile. “Scott, did you draw this? It’s beautiful! Gee, I wonder who that lovely girl in the middle could be!” She kissed him on the cheek and his face lit up like a neon sign. Then Adrienne’s smile turned to a confused frown when she saw the oral stain on the bottom of the picture. “Scott, did you…?”

“I puked up my breakfast and lunch when your dad brought up the fact that there were gummy worms stuck to the bottom of the desks….among other disgusting things. That’s why I said I was hungry earlier.” He lifted up his shirt and ran his own fingers across his visible ribcage. “This isn’t working, Adrienne. This needs to change.”

“I think I might have a package of Oreos in my backpack, hang on,” said Adrienne as she rifled through her belongings. Sure enough, there was a small bag of double-stuffed Oreo cookies, which she licked her lips over. “Go ahead, Scott. Eat up!”

His fingers convulsed as he struggled to open the package. He almost dropped one of the cookies, but caught it just in time. As he stared at the frosty treat, he wondered if the cream filling had been stuck under those desks too. He stuck his tongue out in disgust and shivered violently before Adrienne patted him on the back to assure him it was okay.

Scott breathed deeply and settled down some knowing his girlfriend loved him despite his obvious flaws. She cared enough about him that she wanted him to eat everyday. She cared about his pain. She wanted to protect him from the evils of her own bloodline. Scott’s inside warmed up at these positive thoughts as he took a smile bite of the Oreo cookie.

The sweetness of the treat and the sweetness of Adrienne’s love were powerful enough to counteract the visions of boogers and chewed bubblegum underneath the desks. Scott took another bite. And another. And another. His stomach didn’t care about his psychological traumas; it wanted food and it wanted it now. Scott devoured the entire bag and licked his fingers afterwards.

“Not the most nutritious thing you could be eating, but it’s a damn good start,” said Adrienne with a cute grin. Scott couldn’t help but get a goofy grin on his own face as well, that was until his girlfriend looked down at his trousers and…it happened again. “Uh, Scott? You’ve got a…little problem…down there.”

Scott snapped out of his romanticized trance long enough to see that little Scotty was standing at attention once more. With both hands covering his groin, he profusely apologized to his girlfriend and tried to run away in shame. But then she grabbed hold of his arm and said, “It’s okay, honey-bunny! There’s nobody here to see you.”

“You mean…you’re not offended? You don’t want to get a restraining order against me or some shit like that?”

Adrienne sighed and shook her head with a smile, “No, Scott, I’m not going to file a sexual harassment claim just because you got a little…overzealous. As a matter of fact, I think the two of us should go somewhere a little more intimate and…do something about your little problem.”

Scott swallowed hard as he figured out what his girlfriend meant by that. They’d only known each other for a few days at best and she already wanted to have sex with him. It came with the territory of being a hormone-driven teenager, sure, but something about all of this didn’t feel right to him. “I don’t know, babe, I just…”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” said Adrienne while resting her chin on his shoulder and hugging him around his waist. “I just thought maybe you’d like to…you know…Heh! Sorry, I’m not the best at this kind of thing. It’s just that, if we did do…well, that…it would be my first time. Have you ever made love before, Scott?”

“Um…yeah, sure…I guess…if you want to call it that…”

Adrienne giggled, “Wow, this is awkward as fuck. Looks like we’re both going to have to go easy on each other. Do you still want to?”

“Well…uh…where would we go? I can’t go back to my place because my mom’s a fucking bitch. We can’t go to your place either, though I don’t know your mom very well. She probably wouldn’t like it if we…did that in her house.”

Adrienne held Scott’s hand and skipped away with him. “I know of a place where we can get some privacy.” Scott’s eyes widened with horror when he realized that they were heading into the forest. Adrienne giggled some more and said, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to take you to my Cabin in the Woods. And I’m not going to take you to my cottage in the forest, either, though that sounds more cozy and less creepy, oddly enough. It’s all about context, right?”

“So…where are we going exactly?”

“You’ll find out soon enough. Hell, I’ll even make it a nice surprise for you,” she said while covering Scott’s eyes with her hands like she did before. “You trust me, right? Well, don’t worry, we’re not going to bump into any trees. I’ll take you to where we’re going in just a minute.”

Though he didn’t have to worry about other people despite his covered eyes, Scott still felt the need to hide his erection during this trek into the forest. No matter how hard he pushed down on it, it wouldn’t go away. Adrienne slapped his hands and said, “Don’t do that; that’s a good way to break it.”

“Yes, mother.”

“Don’t call me mother. That’s creepy as hell.”

“Yes, dear.”

Demon Axe, Chapter 14

In traumatic situations, doctors were supposed to provide delicate care so as not to trigger raw emotions. But when Daniel Mercer thrashed around in his hospital bed punching and kicking anything that moved, he had to be held down by the toughest of the tough. Three different nurses held his left arm. Two doctors held his right arm. One of the bigger nurses laid across his shins.

The Lord of the Pit roared and screamed his head off with his most demonic voice, but the medical staff’s pressure on his limbs increased even more. He got so cantankerous that they had to strap him in bed with leather buckles. Even in bondage his head bounced off the pillow as he howled like a wounded animal.

All it took was one jab in the arm and a press of the plunger. Daniel felt coldness running through his veins to sooth his burning anger. The volume of his possessed screams got lower as his breathing intensified. His eyelids became heavier than dumbbells. His clenched jaw relaxed to where his tongue was hanging out like a dog. While he wasn’t completely knocked out, he was drowsy enough that the doctors and nurses could wipe the sweat off their foreheads and breathe sighs of relief.

“I’ll take it from here, guys. Thank you very much,” said a familiar male voice. The medical staff huffed and heaved their way out of the semi-private room after such an exhausting struggle. Even with blurry vision and a relaxed mind, Daniel could make out the cue ball head of Detective Shawn Henry, the man who brought him to this hospital in the first place.

As the delirious snoozer tried to form words, Detective Henry placed a gentle hand on his shoulder to signify that he’ll be the one who does the talking. “You’re in a safe place now, Daniel. You were a pain in the ass to get here, but that just goes to show how much of a fighter you really are. I can only imagine what kind of pain you were in when Roger Zee tortured you. It’s one thing to use musical torture on somebody else. But to a man who built his entire life around that genre of music…it’s unacceptable. It’s like A Clockwork Orange for the good guys.”

Daniel once again tried to form a coherent sentence, but he ended up sounding like a drunken stroke victim. He seemed to get Shawn’s message with little nods here and there.

The detective placed a hand on Daniel’s knee and said, “You may not realize it right now, but we need you now more than ever. Roger Zee has the entire police force under his control. I should have never let him get to those computers. Even so, there’s still a chance we can put him away once and for all. I have a pretty good idea of where he’s taking his newfound forces.”

“…Lay-len…Lay-len!” said Daniel with a swollen tongue.

“Yes, Daniel, you’ve mentioned this Raven girl to me before. Is she your girlfriend?” asked Shawn, to which the Lord of the Pit flashed a retarded grin. The detective flashed a small grin himself and said, “Whoever she is, we’ll find her before Roger can hurt her. I know it seems like we’re wasting time in this hospital, but trust me, you’re in no condition to be chasing bad guys right now. You might be better in the morning, depending on just how long you spent at that black site. Either way, you’re the only one who can stop this madman. With that microphone of yours, you might even be able to talk some sense into my colleagues.”

Daniel shook his head and allowed his tongue to dangle from side to side like a pendulum of spittle. His attempts at “Uh-uh” grew stronger the more he realized what he was being asked to do.

“I know you don’t think much of your music right now. I know you think that you can’t do this without your band mates. But like it or not, you’re a huge part of this puzzle. While you’re not even close to being the one to blame for Roger’s violence, he’s taking a huge interest in your vocation, not to mention everything your music stands for.”

Shawn leaned in closer with this next sentence. “You are the creative force behind every music group you’ve been a part of. Even with traumatic nightmares, you’re one of the most imaginative people I’ve ever known. That scares Roger. He doesn’t like creativity. He shuns individuality. He wants this world to be just as boring and dull as him. You can’t let that happen. You’ve got to put a line through that.”

Daniel made a whiny groan in his throat while slamming his head on the pillow in disbelief. Shawn patted his knee and said, “I know we’re asking a lot of you. But this is a responsibility you were custom built for, my friend. Don’t think of these civilians as mere strangers. Think of them as audience members. They’re gathering around you so that you can put on a show for them. Not just any show, but one that will fill them with positive memories. Memories that will make them want to come back for more. Even with your most violent lyrics, you inspire an entire generation of listeners to face the hardest parts of life.”

The Lord of the Pit had a flat tire hiss and shook his head. Breathing a sigh of relief, Shawn knew he had to pull out the big guns to get this reluctant hero’s attention. He reached in his pocket and pulled out something that made Daniel’s eyes light up like Las Vegas.

“You see this, Mr. Mercer? This right here is the very first Demon Axe album. I bought it after the two of us met for the very first time. I admit, it was a god-awful interview at your house, but if it wasn’t for that, I would have never known about your music. I have to say, this is a pretty goddamn good album. I don’t claim to be the biggest metal head on planet earth, but even I think this is pretty fucking good. You and your band mates put a lot of hard work into every song on this CD. Your band mates gave you their lives, now it’s time to finish the job.”

Tears rolled down Daniel’s cheeks as he made little whimpering noises through his nose. Shawn grabbed a paper towel from the counter and wiped them away ever so delicately. He said, “I can tell you’re still not convinced. You somehow have it in you that you let everyone down by allowing yourself to be tortured. You didn’t let anyone down, Daniel. Some things in life are beyond our control. But this road that lies ahead of you, this road to recovery, it begins and ends with putting Roger Zee in his grave. To help you along the way, I brought another surprise for you.”

Shawn motioned toward the doorway and two nurses wheeled a gigantic radio into the room. The detective pulled out yet another CD, though Daniel’s eyes widened when he couldn’t tell what the album was. The Lord of the Pit made loud whining noises in anticipation of more torture. He thrashed around in his straps, but no amount of white hot rage could set him free.

The gentle piano music, on the other hand, could, at least psychologically. The pianist’s fingers danced lightly and gracefully across the keys, especially near the lower octaves to provide the sweetest lullaby to a pain-wracked Daniel. The whining and whimpering was reduced to silent drooling and a spaced-out look in his eyes. With his hands at his lap, he performed the one technique that got him through the death of his Demon Axe brethren. He tapped his left leg, then his right, then his left, then his right, almost in perfect harmony with the tranquilizing piano music.

“Lay-len…Lay-len…Lay-len…”

Shawn smiled at Daniel and said, “Raven was the one who taught you that technique. That’s called EMDR. I’d definitely say she’s a keeper, my friend. If you don’t do this for anybody else, do this for her. She’s depending on you.”

Daniel formed another stupid-looking grin on his face while his eyes danced in different directions. Shawn covered his own face as he noticed a sizable lump growing in Daniel’s shorts. The detective jokingly said, “Too much information, buddy! Too much information!”

The Lord of the Pit chuckled in his moment of quasi-embarrassment and kept tapping his thighs until his eyelids closed for the final time of the night. Daniel’s face fell to the side of his pillow and he ended his evening with a combination of frothing drool and lawnmower snores.

Shawn smiled again and shook his head. Meanwhile, one of the nurses produced Daniel’s magical microphone and asked, “Where do you want me to leave this?”

The detective took it and said, “I’ve got a nice place for it when he’s ready to wake up.” Confident that the singer was lost in dreamland, Shawn placed the microphone handle in Daniel’s hand and closed his fingers around it. The cop was careful not to allow the mouthpiece near his drooling sewer hole, but it was right there when he needed it. Even in his subconscious’s theater, Daniel Mercer had a decision to make: run away and never turn back or fight like the warrior he was always meant to be.

Dog Fucker

CHORUS 1

When you kill a human being, it drives me mad

When you kill an animal, it’s twice as bad

Dog fucker!

Dog fucker!

VERSE 1

A sodomite with a bully’s might

You came to kill in the dead of night

Rape and torture are your tools of trade

Cutting your victims with an iron blade

Your latest kill was a sexual thrill

Man’s best friend now lies down still

The blood on your dick is so damn sick

Now the murder charge is going to stick

CHORUS 2

When you kill a human being, it’s a lifelong curse

When you kill an animal, it’s ten times worse

Dog fucker!

Dog fucker!

VERSE 2

Now you find yourself in a tight corner

Locked up in a cage by the judge’s order

Your new cell mate has a bone to pick

It’s in his pants and it’s called his dick

Knowing the rape of the innocent puppy

Is vicious and violent, not soft and loving

Pornographic passion, metal bunk thrashing

It’s Marvel Comics and Hulk is smashing

CHORUS 3

Murdering a human is a mortal sin

Murdering a dog makes you the devil’s kin

Dog fucker!

Dog fucker!

VERSE 3

Revenge is a fantasy played out in cinema

It’s eating us alive and damn near killing us

But goddamn, it’s so easy to get pissed

Punishment is more than a slap on the wrist

I tried to be nice, friendly, and forgiving

But you’ve stolen that dog from the living

I’ve got furry friends chilling on my couch

Go near them and you’ll be screaming “Ouch!”

LULLABY ENDING

Lullaby and goodnight

You know it’s not right

Close your eyes and start to smile

You’ll be going away for a while

When the dawn lights the sky

You can hear your victims cry

Start your day with a smile

No one believes your guile