Catey Zolot, Physically Ill Religious Kid from "Jumping For Jesus"

 

Got a Gripe?

CHORUS

Got a gripe? Let’s hear you blast it out your windpipes

Want to bitch? Let’s hear your used car sales pitch

Got a problem? Blow it out your apple bottom

Come on, you fucking clown, spit it out, spit it out

 

VERSE 1

“You need to lose weight, stop dressing like a slob

Put away the baby toys, go and get yourself a job

Put away the magic novel, watch the news instead

Cut that ratty ass mullet off your motherfucking head”

What are you going to do, make a citizen’s arrest?

Let’s put that rough and tough shit to the ultimate test

What’s that? You’re all talk and no action?

You’re not half a man, you’re a much smaller fraction

 

CHORUS

Got a gripe? Let’s hear you blast it out your windpipes

Want to bitch? Let’s hear your used car sales pitch

Got a problem? Blow it out your apple bottom

Come on, you fucking clown, spit it out, spit it out

 

VERSE 2

“My personality type is lead-poisoned Churchie

I got no soul, because my big daddy hurt me

Couldn’t break the cycle with a live jackhammer

I got white man tears, that’s the reason for the stammer”

I got some advice for a man of your excuses

Pull the bootstraps, but you know you can’t do it

It’s what you used to say once upon a distant time

As a meaningless solution to the big city’s crime

 

CHORUS

Got a gripe? Let’s hear you blast it out your windpipes

Want to bitch? Let’s hear your used car sales pitch

Got a problem? Blow it out your apple bottom

Come on, you fucking clown, spit it out, spit it out

 

VERSE 3

“I tried to say sorry, but you wouldn’t hear a word

‘Cause everything I say is like an ableist slur

I’m on my hands and knees saying please, please, please

At this point, it’s nothing more than sappy ass cheese”

You don’t get forgiveness, ‘cause it costs too much

There’s no easy quick fix for repairing broken trust

You could spend your whole life getting in good graces

Doesn’t mean shit to me, ‘cause I’ve seen your two faces

 

OUTRO

Spit it out, spit it out, do it one last time

Spit it out, spit it out, say your HR lines

Spit it out, spit it out, let’s hear what you’ve got

Dude, I’m just kidding, you’re only sorry that you’re caught

Sin City 2: A Dame to Kill For

BOOK TITLE: Sin City 2: A Dame to Kill For

AUTHOR: Frank Miller

YEAR: 1993

GENRE: Graphic Novel

SUBGENRE: Neo-Noir

GRADE: A

 

We’ve seen the femme fatale trope play out across multiple stories, most notably in neo-Noir. When Frank Miller takes hold of the reigns for Sin City 2, it doesn’t feel stale. Ava, the femme fatale in question, comes off like a powerful character who could manipulate her way into any authoritative position. Every man she comes in contact with is wrapped around her finger, not just because of her physical appearance, but also her psychological prowess. Even if you think the femme fatale trope is problematic or overdone, there’s still something to be said for how manipulative humans can be, if not sexually, then in another way that plays into their targets’ sympathies. Femme fatales may be a male gaze character archetype, but narcissists and gaslighters are very real in our world and that’s how Ava comes off in this book. The protagonist of this story, a down-on-his-luck P.I. named Dwight McCarthy, has a history with her and knows her ins and outs. He’s still susceptible to her whims every now and then. That’s what he wrestles with throughout the story and that alone is a struggle worth reading about.

 

If you’re familiar with the gritty underworld of neo-Noir storytelling, then you’ll find everything you’re looking for in this graphic novel. I’ve already mentioned the femme fatale elements, but there’s also smooth-flowing dialogue, morally gray criminals, and fight scenes that raise the stakes through the ceiling. At first, I thought Dwight was just shrugging off his pain after getting beaten so many times in the first half of the story. Even after crashing through a window and falling onto the pavement, he walks away like it’s nothing. He had me for a minute there. But how long could he keep up his macho posturing? How long could he just suck it up and carry on before all this violence nearly does him in? You’ll get your answer in due time after reading enough of this book. I was worried that this was going to be like a WWE storyline where Triple H gets trapped in a car and dropped fifteen feet, only to come out on TV the next night with only “contusions”. Nope! It’s much worse for Dwight. There are a few times where you as a reader will doubt if he’ll be alive by the end of the story. I’m not spoiling a thing for you. If this sounds intriguing, then buy the book and read it yourself.

 

Because this is a graphic novel, all I needed was an hour and twenty minutes to read it from cover to cover. But even with this breakneck speed, it didn’t feel like I was missing out on important details or emotional moments. It was fast, but not excessively fast. It was just right for the kind of story that needed to be told. Dwight tangles with his own emotions and that plays brilliantly into the action sequences that follow his thought processes. When he takes a beating, you feel his beating. When his pain comes from within, you want to sympathize with him even though he has his rotten moments too. I questioned whether I should continue rooting for him after he shoved Ava to the ground during one of their rendezvouses. I urge you to keep reading and not give up on him so easily. With a quick reading speed, you’ll get your answers in the time you want them. Your guilt as a reader can only last so long before you see the truth about Ava.

 

Frank Miller has an edge to him and that shows in pretty much everything he writes. This brand of edginess won’t drive away his audience. In fact, it’ll be a selling point. It’s the neo-Noir grittiness that will keep you coming back for more. It can’t be a hardboiled story without a little edge every now and then. Regardless of how you feel about Frank Miller as a person, there’s no denying that he penned one heck of a story in Sin City 2. Do I want to read the first installment just out of morbid curiosity? Sure, why not? This book gets five stars out of five. No glaring flaws that I can find aside from Dwight refusing to acknowledge his extreme pain.

Juliet Birdwing

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THE BASICS

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Name: Juliet Birdwing

Nicknames: Big Bird, Mother Ruth

Gender: Cisgender Female

Age: 32

Birth Date: 468

Birth Place: Xavier Village

Currently Living In: Atwood Queendom

Species: Elf

Ethnicity / Race: Green Skin

Citizenship: Atwood Queendom and of their territories

Religion / Beliefs: Brainwashed Cultist

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FAMILY

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Father: Unknown

Age: Unknown

Relationship: Absent

Mother: Betsy Birdwing

Age: Unknown

Relationship: Abandonment

Sister: Bijou Birdwing

Age: 27

Relationship: Betrayal

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PHYSICAL FEATURES:

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Height: 5’7”

Weight: 115 lbs.

Frame / Build: Skinny

Hair length: Shoulder Blades

Hair color: Brown

Eye shape: Wide

Eye color: Purple

Complexion: Green

Face size: Heart-Shaped

Voice type: Gentle High Pitch

Foot size: Women’s 9

Tattoo: Heart with sword going through it (forearm)

Scar: Bruises on her knuckles

Other notable accessories: Nose ring

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SOCIO / ECONOMIC / POLITICAL

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Political Affiliation: Conservative

Economic Class: Upper-Middle

Social Class: Green-Collar

Occupation: Soldier

Income: Rich

Residence: Atwood Queendom and all of their territories

Transportation: Horse

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INTERESTS

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Favorite Food(s): Chocolate and funnel cake

Favorite Sport(s): Amateur Wrestling

Favorite Book(s): Romance with toxic characters

Favorite Show(s): TV isn’t a thing yet

Favorite Music: Flute

Favorite Color(s): Purple and Red

Clothing Style / Preferences: Atwood Queendom robe and hood

Hobbies: Gambling, shooting clay pigeons, playing with dolls

Role Model(s): Shelly Atwood and Torger Manson

Likes: Comfort, money, winning fights, lusting after Windham

Dislikes: Her own race, Magetan theology, poor people

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PERSONALITY

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Good Qualities / Trait(s): Good fighter, loyal, persuasive

Vices / Negative Trait(s): Backstabber to elves, reckless with money, blinded by “love”

Habits / Idiosyncrasies / Quirks: Twirling hair and inappropriate touching

Phobia / Fears: Going back to poverty, having to face Llewellyn’s wrath, permanent abandonment

Select one personality type below that best describes your character:

[X] Supporter (ESFJ) – Popular, and most sociable of all the types. Respects authority and values traditions. Has a strong desire to be liked, and therefore tends to want to serve others’ needs, sometimes at the expense of their own.

Define your character’s personality based on the following aspects:

a. Physically: Pleasant to look at (when she’s not wearing her robe)

b. Psychologically: Manipulative and cunning

c. Spiritually: Mocks Magetans whenever she has the chance

d. Emotionally: Goes from sweet to angry in seconds

e. Socially: She’s respected among her peers, feared by ordinary people

=========================================

HISTORY

=========================================

1. Describe the character’s childhood. She and her sister Bijou were abandoned by their parents and left to raise each other. But when Atwood cultists and Shelly Atwood herself started love-bombing Juliet and brainwashing her, she jumped at the opportunity to abandon Bijou for wealth and power. She’s been living well ever since while Bijou is a psychological wreck.

2. Name the good incidents that have happened in the character’s life. How has this shaped his personality? She and Bijou played with dolls often, which was what made Juliet’s betrayal all the more hurtful.

3. Name bad experiences that have happened in the character’s life. How has this shaped his personality? As I’ve said, Juliet’s parents abandoned her, so she jumped at the chance of being loved again when Shelly offered her a better life.

4. What is the character doing when first introduced? What are her goals at this point? Do these goals change at any point in the story? She’s helping Shelly shave Windham’s chin after he grows some stubble during his imprisonment. Her goal is to live as comfortably as possible while also manipulating Windham. She’s only around for one chapter, so that’s not enough time for her goals to change.

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STORY DEVELOPMENT:

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CHARACTER ARCHETYPE: (Put an X on all applicable boxes)

[X] Antagonist (Opposing View, not necessarily the Evil Bad — see also Villain)

[X] Bully (Coward)

[X] Femme Fatale (Black Widow, Flirt, Siren, Circe, Seductress, Enchantress)

[X] Gambler

[X] Hedonist (Bon Vivant, Chef, Gourmet, Gourmand, Sybarite–see also Mystic)

[X] Trickster (Puck, Provocateur)

[X] Turncoat

[X] Villain / Shadow (Big Bad of the story; see also Antagonist)

[X] Warrior (Soldier, Crime Fighter, Amazon, Mercenary, Soldier of Fortune, Gunslinger, Samurai)

1. What are the motivations for the character’s actions? Abandonment issues and a deep need for family, even if she’s just a useful idiot to them

2. What are the character’s goals / ambition / dreams? To eat as much candy and live as comfortably as she can. To that end, she’s living her dream right now.

3. What external conflicts would you wish for the character to overcome? What are the obstacles in the character’s path that might make this difficult? She wants to hold Windham down and shave him, but after he learns that she’s a Mother Ruth elf, he refuses to cooperate.

4. What inner conflicts would you wish for the character to overcome? What are the obstacles in the character’s path that might make this difficult? Constant need for Shelly and Torger’s affections, which is made difficult by the fact that they’re never satisfied.

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AUTHOR’S NOTES / MISCELLANY

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Character theme song: “Our Love Will Always Remain” by The Aquadolls

Celebrity / IRL lookalike: Daniela Ruah from NCIS: Los Angeles