inspirational Porn Star

VERSE 1

I was born with one finger, no other body parts

My cancer cell count was off the fucking charts

I got run over by a Karen and her shopping cart

Left to bleed and break on the floor of Wal-Mart

But I kept pushing on, as cliché as that sounds

I can now bench press a thousand fucking pounds

A got a hot wife, hot life, and a new sports car

You call me lucky; I’m an inspirational porn star

VERSE 2

I was born with a negative bank account balance

A million dollar debt to a loan shark in Dallas

The streets were the place where I slept and shit

Not in that order, but the timeline still fits

I kept soldiering on, got a college education

Got a bunch of D-pluses at my graduation

It’s clearly your fault if you don’t go far

Not mine; I’m an inspirational porn star

VERSE 3

I never once took a check from the welfare office

Never once begged the forces of evil to stop it

I’m so tough I floss my teeth with barbed wire

Wipe my ass with sandpaper ‘til it burns like fire

Shave my face with a chainsaw until I’m raw

Clip my nails with a shark’s disembodied jaw

If I can do it, you have no reason not to start

Your lifelong journey, be an inspirational porn star

VERSE 4

Of course you all know that I’m full of shit

Only a bunch of sheep believe my rhetoric

Everything has nuance, even life itself

Not as easy as a bible on a library shelf

Not as easy as watching a You Tube video

Not as easy as imagining a new scenario

I want more for me, so I move the goal post

Inspirational porn stars are just hollow boasts

The Media

VERSE 1

Caught on camera, a vicious beating

Made me throw up what I was eating

Made me blow a fuse just like dynamite

Your son’s heart beats booze and cyanide

Teach your child some real lessons

Not to use hate and fear as weapons

Not to blame others for his own undoing

Not to be surprised when parents are suing

CHORUS X2

It is not the media’s fault

That your son’s an ass and he got caught

VERSE 2

He laughs at suicide whenever it happens

Laughs at the mourners, calls them faggots

His ribs are broken from the many chuckles

His knees are shaking as they start to buckle

Let’s see him pick a fight with a true giant

Let’s see his lips quiver in the dead of silence

Let’s see his blood pressure hit the maximum

Piss a million gallons and call it going platinum

CHORUS X2

It is not the media’s fault

That your son’s an ass and he got caught

VERSE 3

In the end, he’s nothing but a coward

He thought he wielded the ultimate power

But all he got was a golden shower

His tight jockey shorts smell a little sour

All the bravado was for absolutely nothing

All the laughter never led to something

Now he’s got a spotlight burning so bright

He’s shitting himself from the stage fright

CHORUS

It is not the media’s fault

That your son’s an ass and he got caught

It is not the victim’s fault

That your son’s another brick in the wall

It is not the judge’s fault

That his dad has lost his balls

Blame yourself and no one else

Blame yourself for building your own hell

FINAL LINE X4

It is not the media’s fault!

White Boy

VERSE 1

Black lives matter; they always did

You’re saying otherwise? Who’re you trying to kid?

You keep your racism under the tightest lid

And sell powerful positions for the highest bid

You’re a bunch of slave owners with a license to kill

Leaving the taxpayers to clean the mess and pay the bill

A trail of bodies as long as the Nile

Hundreds more ready to walk the Green Mile

VERSE 2

I’m not ashamed of the things I’ve said

I’m talking to you, white boy, with your neck all red

You point your pistol and you open fire

But when you take the stand, you turn into a liar

You buy the judge with your unlimited funds

Intimidate the jury until their urine runs

Walk away a free man with the blood on your hands

Go back to the station to tune up the band

VERSE 3

You talk about freedom like it’s a cultural buzz word

Yet when minorities have it, you get all butt hurt

“Reverse racism” is your phrase of choice

Boom and bang are your preference of noise

Get out of your seat; put your hand on your heart

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of Wal-Mart

And to the EBT stamps for which they accept

One nation under fraud, time to break some necks”

VERSE 4

If you say “All Lives Matter”, you’d better mean it

That includes all races, you’d better believe it

Not just the cops, the Christians, or the whites

Every one of us should have the same rights

You go back on your claim when the flag is in flames

You point your rifle like a finger at somebody to blame

It’s all about you and the power you wield

And how “reverse racism” has become a shield