inspirational Porn Star

VERSE 1

I was born with one finger, no other body parts

My cancer cell count was off the fucking charts

I got run over by a Karen and her shopping cart

Left to bleed and break on the floor of Wal-Mart

But I kept pushing on, as cliché as that sounds

I can now bench press a thousand fucking pounds

A got a hot wife, hot life, and a new sports car

You call me lucky; I’m an inspirational porn star

VERSE 2

I was born with a negative bank account balance

A million dollar debt to a loan shark in Dallas

The streets were the place where I slept and shit

Not in that order, but the timeline still fits

I kept soldiering on, got a college education

Got a bunch of D-pluses at my graduation

It’s clearly your fault if you don’t go far

Not mine; I’m an inspirational porn star

VERSE 3

I never once took a check from the welfare office

Never once begged the forces of evil to stop it

I’m so tough I floss my teeth with barbed wire

Wipe my ass with sandpaper ‘til it burns like fire

Shave my face with a chainsaw until I’m raw

Clip my nails with a shark’s disembodied jaw

If I can do it, you have no reason not to start

Your lifelong journey, be an inspirational porn star

VERSE 4

Of course you all know that I’m full of shit

Only a bunch of sheep believe my rhetoric

Everything has nuance, even life itself

Not as easy as a bible on a library shelf

Not as easy as watching a You Tube video

Not as easy as imagining a new scenario

I want more for me, so I move the goal post

Inspirational porn stars are just hollow boasts