Evanescence Concert

***EVANESCENCE CONCERT***

It’s been a rough last few days here at the Haines-Temons-Stevens-Wilson household. A shouting match broke out, tears rolled down, and my mom couldn’t go to bed without a shoulder massage from yours truly. I’m not ready to give the details just yet, so please respect my family’s privacy. All I want to say for now is that I’m looking forward to seeing Evanescence perform at the White River Amphitheater on September 7^th. Amy Lee’s beautiful voice is certainly a comfort to anybody with a broken heart.

Truth is, I didn’t buy Evanescence’s three studio albums until earlier this year. The only song of theirs I had on my computer was the album version of “My Immortal”. That song got me through a lot of rough shit over the years whether it was a pet’s death, a hot argument, or just being lonely in my room. My mom got me their symphonic album Synthesis for Christmas in 2017 and I have reason to believe Evanescence’s concert in September will be symphonic as well. I’m strangely okay with there being no mosh pits or wild behavior at this concert. Symphonic music is comforting in its own right, so I’m destined to have a good time.

Accompanying the band onstage will be a violinist by the name of Lindsay Stirling. I’ve never listened to her music before, but judging from what I’ve researched, she specializes in electronic pop and some of her own symphonic music. Even though I don’t listen to this kind of music on a regular basis, I’m also strangely okay with Miss Stirling being an opener for Evanescence. I remember getting some head-bobbing enjoyment out of Grabbitz (electronic pop DJ) at the Starset concert back in February, so this will be no different.

At the end of the day, it’s all about having fun and being in the moment. This concert will be the perfect way to soothe my worries and get me back on the right track. The 7^th of September also happens to be the due date for editing Savage Beatings as well as the day after my biological father’s 68^th birthday. Spoiler alert: I’ve finished round two of editing several days ahead of schedule. I’m counting on there being a round three and beyond, but that’s neither here nor there. Marie told me I needed more details, so hopefully I’ve done that. I’ll be rocking out in her honor since she too loves Evanescence and Lindsay Stirling. Hell, I’d take her with me if we lived in the same city.

But now that we’re on the topic of creative work, the elephant in the room, of course, is the lack of activity in the Incelbordination department. Yes, I’ve been busy prettying up Savage Beatings (there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say), but the WSS still needs their weekly dose of Garrisonian magic (okay, that sounded self-indulgent). I’ll find the time to work on my WIP novel eventually. Hell, it’s not about “finding time”. It’s about doing the fucking thing.

In addition to fucking around with Incelbordination, I still have to rewrite the chapter-by-chapter blueprints for Beautiful Monster. After the radical changes Marie suggested, I’ve decided to rewrite the entire novel from the ground up. Tarja Rikkinen needs to be likeable, the villains need purposes other than just being evil, Windham Xavier needs to be distinguishable from other characters, and elves in general need to be distinguishable from their human counterparts. There are plenty of other problems that need addressing, but I won’t list them all in this blog. I have the new novel planned up until the point where Kody Savage force-feeds Windham a bunch of medicinal leaves and renders him unconscious. Medicinal leaves make more sense than psychedelic mushrooms. The question is, after Kody binds and gags Windham and takes him back to home base…what happens then?

August was a hell of a month, but September is yet another mountain to be climbed, both professionally and personally. But just like with other obstacles in my life, I will not only survive, but I will conquer with a scorched earth policy. Positivity isn’t about pretending everything’s okay. It’s about believing in your own abilities to improve your situation in life. I can do this. We all can do this. I’m Garrison Kelly! Even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain!

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“I’m so tired of being here. Suppressed by all my childish fears. And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave. ‘Cause your presence still lingers here and it won’t leave me alone. These wounds won’t seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There’s just too much that time cannot erase. When you cried, I’d wipe away all of your tears. When you screamed, I’d fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand all these years, but you still have all of me. You used to captivate me by your resonating light. Now I’m bound by the life you left behind. Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams. Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me. I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone. But though you’re still with me, I’ve been alone all along.”

-Evanescence singing “My Immortal”-

Seether Concert

***SEETHER CONCERT***

Sometimes I feel like whenever I post a blog announcing my attendance at a concert, all I’m doing is stroking myself. It doesn’t help matters that I pad the text with potential ways in which these concerts could affect my creative life…even though most of the time they don’t. The last time it really did was when I went to the Pain in the Grass festival in 2016 and I wrote a heavy metal song about a drunken fool that sat next to me. Most of the time my concert experiences end up as life events on my Face Book page (now THAT’S what I call stroking myself). To be fair, though, I only post them that way because I don’t have a smart phone to take pictures and I don’t want to bring my digital camera into the mosh pit lest it gets smashed to pieces.

But it’s true, ladies and gentlemen: it’s that time again. This coming Tuesday, Seether is heading to Seattle’s Showbox SoDo and the bands that will open for them are 10 Years and The Dead Deads. I didn’t start listening to Seether until 2012 when they opened for Nickelback at the Tacoma Dome alongside Bush and My Darkest Days. The first Seether album I bought was their greatest hits collection from 2002 to 2013. My favorite songs back then were “Driven Under”, “Fine Again”, and their cover of Wham’s “Careless Whisper”. I also listened to Seether’s duet with Amy Lee called “Broken” on repeat when I came home from the movie theater after seeing Obselidia. Anyone who’s heard me talk about that movie knows it ripped my heart to shreds, so “Broken” was a more than appropriate song to soothe my feels. Seether has a reputation for soothing sorrowful and angry emotions. My collection of their CD’s is now complete and I’m ready for Tuesday.

I don’t have much else to say except for…I’m Garrison Kelly and I’ll see you next time! My brain decided to be in zombie mode today, so I don’t feel like doing a great deal of writing. On the positive side, I did get some reading done today. It won’t be long before I write a passing grade review of “Fifty Shames of Earl Grey” by Fanny Merkin (real name Andrew Shaffer). One reviewer accurately described this author as the Weird Al Yankovich of erotica. Who am I to disagree with him?

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“Whoever said this pain would ever go away didn’t know what it meant to be here without you. Is everything you see reminding you of me? Does it hurt when you breathe too? ‘Cause it does when I do. I hate to feel this way. My days all feel the same. And yesterday was proof that tomorrow will too. No matter what they say, can’t drink it all away, ‘cause all that I do is think about you. When anybody says your name, I want to run away. I keep remembering I can’t forget you. It doesn’t matter what I try, it happens anyways. It’s been forever and I can’t forget you. With every single day, it won’t go away, the way I feel about you. And when it’s said and done, you’re the only one. And I can’t regret you, ‘cause I can’t forget you. Stop haunting my dreams. Please set me free.”

-My Darkest Days singing “Can’t Forget You”-

"Broken" by Seether and Amy Lee

You know what the worst part is about having a boring life? You can run away from it for a little while. You can kick it in the Caribbean, you can mingle in Mexico, you can have fish and chips in the UK, but once the vacation is over, it’s back home to a boring life. It feels good to be home every time I come back from a sabbatical, but then the loneliness sets in and it’s back to the drawing board again. Although eating at Applebee’s isn’t considered a vacation, it was an escape from the boredom of home. And then when we were in the car, I had “Broken” by Seether and Amy Lee playing on my MP3 player to drive the point home, no pun intended.

This song was obviously recorded during a time in Shaun Morgan and Amy Lee’s lives when they were still a power couple. Two hard rock icons singing about how much they want to steal each other’s pain and how they’re broken when they’re lonesome. In other words, they couldn’t live without each other. And then one day in the mid 2000’s, they broke up in an ugly fashion and wrote hateful songs about each other. I’m not sure if Seether still plays “Broken” during their live sets, but I know it’s on their greatest hits album.

The reason “Broken” is so special to me is because it conveys the feeling of impending doom when it comes to my environment stealing my pain away. I can go to Canada as many times as I want, but in the end, I still have a slow-paced life here in Port Orchard, Washington. Sometimes a slow pace is a good thing, but it really becomes slow when the boredom keeps me from doing what I love the most: write my heart out. That’s when you know you have a boring life: you’re so bored that doing what you love isn’t what you feel like doing at all.

“Broken” also reminds me to find things to steal my pain more often so that I don’t have long gaps of boredom and sadness. That’s why it’s important to me to write Fireball Nightmare chapters as much as possible. And when I have writer’s block or I just plain don’t feel like writing my main prose, then I write an entry for Garrison’s Library or I write a journal for my Deviant Art account (my username is Garrison-Kelly and my avatar is the Jolly Green Giant (look me up)). And then there are times when reading a chapter of my book is enough to steal my pain. I’m currently reading “The Fault In Our Stars” by John Green and Augustus Waters is someone who could sing in the style of “Broken” and have it make sense.

I once had somebody tell me true happiness isn’t about the big things in life. It’s about finding little things and stringing them together to make a happy life. I’ve tried to follow that advice for so long and whenever I can’t, I turn to the music of Seether for comfort. One of these days, I’ll keep my stream of fun going into infinite. An occupied mind is a happy mind, which is something prisoners learn on their first day of incarceration. In a way, I feel like a prisoner of my own boredom. The pain theft would be the visitation rights that are granted to me by my friends and family. I can do this. I know I can.

　

***WRESTLING QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“I don’t get hyped! I stay hyped!”

-Mojo Rawley-

"Careless Whisper" by Seether

I would have never known this song existed if it hadn’t been for Wham’s original version from the 1980’s. But exist it does. There indeed is a hard rock version of “Careless Whisper” and it’s done by Seether. No, Shaun Morgan doesn’t scream his head off like most of the singers in my Windows Media Player do. In fact, Shaun Morgan sounds very pleasant. He reminds me of somebody I used to know from the early 1990’s who put out the albums Never Mind and In Utero. What’s that guy’s name again? It’s on the tip of my tongue. Hint, hint, wink, wink.

So why exactly would I pay tribute to Seether for doing a cover version of a song originated by a pop duo named Wham? Because Seether’s version is not only more energetic and depressing, but it was there for me when I walked out of the Grand Cinema in Tacoma after watching the movie “Obsoledia“. When I got in the car with my mom and step-dad Dale, it was the first song I listened to on my MP3 player. George will never dance with Sophie again, not like they did when they were out in Death Valley speculating the fate of the earth post-climate change.

“Careless Whisper” and “Obsoledia” are both mediums that will rip your heart to pieces. By the end of both of them, the beautiful relationships are over. It’s true that “Careless Whisper” wasn’t sung by Shaun Morgan with Amy Lee from Evanescence in mind. The two of them used to date and they don’t anymore. Judging from the fact the two of them wrote breakup songs about each other, the separation was pretty fucking brutal.

There was nothing ugly about the way “Obsoledia” ended. George was a lonely librarian who didn’t believe in love until he spent a weekend with Sophie. Just when this poor introvert was starting to believe in the power or romance, it was used to break his heart when it turned out Sophie already had a boyfriend. Obsoledia is about things that are obsolete in this world, so maybe Seether’s new and fresh version of “Careless Whisper” wouldn’t have fit with the movie’s theme. If it were any other canon, though, it would have worked to perfection.

Shaun Morgan and George were both people with broken hearts. I made this connection the night I saw Obsoledia and subsequently listened to “Careless Whisper” by Seether. In my short stories and novels, the power of love is a deity in and of itself. It’s worshiped to the fullest extent and executed with beauty. Characters fall in love with each other all the time, sometimes in the most inopportune times. “Not Gonna Die” and “If I Offer You My Soul”, anyone?

I can get away with that in literature, because a good story is better than a cold reality. In the real world, people get divorced and broken up all the time. When those breakups and divorces happen, they often involve a power struggle that may or may not involve violence or monetary possessiveness. We all want to believe in the power of love. But is it really there? Can it last a lifetime? Can it endure so many hardships that it becomes indestructible? The answers vary from person to person. But as long as Seether is singing “Careless Whisper” on my MP3 player, the jury will always be out on this one.

　

***FACE BOOK MEME OF THE DAY***

“If Katniss and Peeta from The Hunger Games were Hollywood celebrities, their super couple nickname would either be Kat-Pee or Pee-Niss.”