PART ONE: TEMPTATION IN HEAVEN
In my head, there is only heaven
The angels here are stuff of legends
Manic Pixie Dream Girls don’t exist
Except in a euphoric state of bliss
Lovely teachers in dresses and sandals
More than my chemicals could ever handle
They catch me staring and only smile back
Give them some wine and help them relax
Whoever said You Tube isn’t eHarmony
Never met the angels that are charming me
Closing distance with hugs and kisses
A future with all of them as my missus
When wrestling women get done in the ring
They turn up the sweetness and make my heart sing
They’re more than the skimpy gear that they wear
They’re reasons to stroke their soft silky hair
It doesn’t matter if I’m weird or lack money
They call me cupcake and call me honey
I get to be a star and then kiss the sky
Kiss magical women and make them cry
TELEVISION DIALOGUE
“Heaven? Hmph! Whatever made you think you were in heaven,
Mr. Valentine? This IS the other place!”
PART TWO: THE AWAKENING
I spent too long in my own fantasies
The real world has so much they’re asking me
Family and friends haven’t seen me in weeks
My clothes are piling up, my body reeks
I got work to do and a legacy to build
I’m still creative and I’ll die on that hill
These novel characters are stuck in limbo
While I spent my days with imagined sex symbols
Read a book and your ignorance will die
But I can’t find the energy, can’t find the time
Drifting in and out of consciousness
Another reason to be lacking confidence
Build Legos like I did when I was a kid
I’m still a kid, but just a little bit mid
My hall of fame is showing its shame
When my broken promises are all the same
Do chores around the house, make it clean
Your domestic mistakes should be heard and not seen
Scrub the dishes and take out the garbage
For god’s sake, it should smell like a botanical garden
Talk to your people, talk to your pets
One chance in this life is all you get
Tell them you love them no matter what
Save them from your pain that deeply cuts
PART THREE: BACK TO HELL
I’m exiled from heaven, but I can’t go back to hell
The demons were the reason I was so unwell
Fighting and fucking, two sides of a coin
Stroking the tip before a kick in the groin
I fought so many battles with the forces of hell
That they’re often too traumatic, I shouldn’t tell
Screams, rage, death, blood
Spending so many nights face down in the mud
I’m just too tired to keep swinging my axe
I wish there was some sort of therapy tax
I wish there was somebody that I could ask
To kill the demons for me, but don’t let it last
I was born in the fire and I’ll never retire
It was never a reason for me to be a crier
Suck it up, suck it in, get back in the cage
Until I hit senior citizen age
If I live that long, my brain will turn to shit
And my hospital gown will be a perfect fit
Go under the knife for the rest of my life
As the memories fade of an imaginary wife
