"If Only You Knew How Much I Smell You" by Roy Blount, Jr. and Valerie Shaff

BOOK TITLE: If Only You Knew How Much I Smell You: True Portraits of Dogs

AUTHORS: Roy Blount, Jr. (text) and Valerie Shaff (photography)

YEAR: 1998

GENRE: Picture Book with Poetry

SUBGENRE: Dog Portraits

GRADE: Extra Credit

It’s not often that I give perfect five out of five grades to whatever I’m reading at the time. When I finally do, you know it’s a special occasion. You know that the book touched my heart in some special way or changed the way I think about the world. This picture book did the former of those two. Sure, you’ll always win me over with precious puppy-duppy pictures. But these aren’t just ordinary snapshots of dogs. They’re expressive. They’re artistic. Valerie Shaff takes special care when selecting which ones go in the book. Some of the dogs have pouty expressions. Others are playing outside. Even the simple act of lying on the couch is enough to touch the coldest of human souls. These are the sweeties we’ve come to know and love throughout our many years of owning dogs. You want to reach through the pages and give hugs and belly rubs to these precious critters. But alas, this book was published in 1998 and many years have passed since then, which means these pups have crossed the Rainbow Bridge. By the looks of these photos, you can tell that the time they spent on this earth was well-lived. That’s really all we can do in the end: give these doggos the best life they can possibly have.

But of course, Valerie Shaff’s excellent photography is just one half of this formula. You also have the simple, yet effective poetry of Roy Blount, Jr. to accompany these beautiful pictures. These poems make the dogs come off as sweethearted and lovable rather than diva-like and spicy. They do have their diva moments, but those moments don’t overstay their welcome. There’s also a little bit of toilet humor, but it too doesn’t overstay its welcome. The one poem that really hit me the hardest was the one about the owner going off to college and the dog assuming that the would-be student is dead. This poem is accompanied by a sad expression on the dog’s face and rightfully so. This gave me war flashbacks of going to study at Western Washington University and being depressed all the time about not being able to see my animal babies. The rules of my dorm room specifically stated that pets weren’t allowed, so that hit me even harder. In the introduction to this book, Roy wonders what kinds of thoughts his dogs have and what rhythm they would use to express those thoughts. I’d say he got them down perfectly, no questions asked.

Everyone could use a little sweetness in their lives, but this book goes the extra mile in securing that sweetness for potential readers. Valerie Shaff and Roy Blount, Jr. didn’t just create a photo album; they created art. This is the kind of representation that precious puppies need, especially when it comes to adopting them from shelters (don’t shop, adopt). This book does a good job of building up older doggies as well, which is important since they need love just as much as their younger counterparts. Like I said earlier, five out of five stars is what this book gets. That’s a lot of “aww’s”!

"I Am Puppy, Hear Me Yap" by Valerie Shaff (photos) and Roy Blount, Jr. (text)

Remember how during my review of “All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome” I said that a blog about fast reads wouldn’t be complete without picture books? The same is true now that I’m talking about “I Am Puppy, Hear Me Yap”. Each page consists of a cute and cuddly picture of a puppy-duppy along with an equally cute and cuddly poem on the opposite page. These poems and pictures can be about anything from chewing shoes to playing in the dirt to peeing on the bed to pretty much anything man’s best friend is famous for. The poems are clever with their joyful rhymes and childlike antics. But come on, we know why you’re really reading this book: for the sweet and lovable puppy-duppies! You want to see them roll over before you reach through the page and give them a much-needed belly rub! Puppies always seem to like a good petting whether it’s on their bellies, on their butts, behind their ears, or on their saggy jowls. Not only will you want to pet all of the puppies in this book, but you’ll want to take them all home with you. Little baskets of puppies all over the house just rolling around and being animal kids. The only thing these puppies don’t come with is purring muscles in their throats. Purring puppies? Aww! That would be a cuteness overload, as my friends on DeviantART might say. As I write this blog entry, I keep asking myself, what more could I say about this book that I haven’t already? It doesn’t have any plot, obviously. The poems wouldn’t make sense without their respective pictures next to them. I guess the only thing left to say is, go out and buy a copy of this wonderful picture book. You may brush through it in a matter of quick minutes, but as long as you’re in the mood for cuteness, you can read it as many times as you want. Maybe one day the author and photographer will make a calendar out of these wonderful puppy-duppy pictures. Imagine flipping to February and seeing a floppy-eared wiener dog staring you in the face with pretty brown eyes. Wouldn’t that just melt your heart like an ice cream cone? If you didn’t have a valentine by the time February rolled around, then maybe the floppy-eared buddy would be there to comfort you. I’d tell you more, but you might actually die by cuteness, another phrase my DA friends love to use. Hehe!
　

***JOKE OF THE DAY***

Two guys are walking down the street and they see a dog thoroughly licking himself. One of the guys says, “Man, I wish I could do that!” The other guy says, “Shouldn’t you pet him first?”