Remember how during my review of “All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome” I said that a blog about fast reads wouldn’t be complete without picture books? The same is true now that I’m talking about “I Am Puppy, Hear Me Yap”. Each page consists of a cute and cuddly picture of a puppy-duppy along with an equally cute and cuddly poem on the opposite page. These poems and pictures can be about anything from chewing shoes to playing in the dirt to peeing on the bed to pretty much anything man’s best friend is famous for. The poems are clever with their joyful rhymes and childlike antics. But come on, we know why you’re really reading this book: for the sweet and lovable puppy-duppies! You want to see them roll over before you reach through the page and give them a much-needed belly rub! Puppies always seem to like a good petting whether it’s on their bellies, on their butts, behind their ears, or on their saggy jowls. Not only will you want to pet all of the puppies in this book, but you’ll want to take them all home with you. Little baskets of puppies all over the house just rolling around and being animal kids. The only thing these puppies don’t come with is purring muscles in their throats. Purring puppies? Aww! That would be a cuteness overload, as my friends on DeviantART might say. As I write this blog entry, I keep asking myself, what more could I say about this book that I haven’t already? It doesn’t have any plot, obviously. The poems wouldn’t make sense without their respective pictures next to them. I guess the only thing left to say is, go out and buy a copy of this wonderful picture book. You may brush through it in a matter of quick minutes, but as long as you’re in the mood for cuteness, you can read it as many times as you want. Maybe one day the author and photographer will make a calendar out of these wonderful puppy-duppy pictures. Imagine flipping to February and seeing a floppy-eared wiener dog staring you in the face with pretty brown eyes. Wouldn’t that just melt your heart like an ice cream cone? If you didn’t have a valentine by the time February rolled around, then maybe the floppy-eared buddy would be there to comfort you. I’d tell you more, but you might actually die by cuteness, another phrase my DA friends love to use. Hehe!
***JOKE OF THE DAY***
Two guys are walking down the street and they see a dog thoroughly licking himself. One of the guys says, “Man, I wish I could do that!” The other guy says, “Shouldn’t you pet him first?”
It’d be cliché to say that Lilian Jackson Braun does it again, but guess what? Lilian Jackson Braun does it again with “The Cat Who Tailed a Thief”. Judging from this book and “The Cat Who Talked Turkey”, a couple of things about this series of novels are true. One, there’s always reason to suspect the most annoying character in the book. Two, if something needs to be talked about, it will be done over lunch at a restaurant or a bottle of scotch in the main character’s home. And three, and this one goes without saying: KITTIES!! Two Siamese babies named Koko and Yum-Yum will always be there to rub against someone’s ankles and make the reader feel like he’s got a sleeping animal pie on his lap. And there, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason why these books are called “cozy mysteries”, because they take place in a small town where everybody knows each other and they make great reading during those lazy afternoons when nothing is on TV and you’ve got animals all around you like Noah’s Ark. You want to talk about being left in “aww” and wonder, that’s it, man. In the case of “The Cat Who Tailed a Thief”, the one character you need to watch out for is Danielle Carmichael, a fashionable diva who always seems to be annoyed with being in a small town, has been described as having a rusty gate voice, and is always hitting on Jim Qwilleran. Things begin to get extremely complicated by the presence of Danielle’s cousin, a home restoration nut named Carter Lee James, who instantly marries a rich widow and has his home restoration skills called into question after the projects never seem to get started. Oh, and did I mention there are two murders and a string of petty thefts in this mystery? It wouldn’t be complete if there wasn’t a crime to attach such suspicious people to. Sooner or later, your suspicions will be confirmed, but it’s all a matter of how and why instead of who, what, where, and when. This isn’t a game of Clue we’re talking about here, this is deep stuff. Nobody’s getting clonked on the head with a candlestick by Miss Scarlet. But in spite of all of these horrible things going on, you’ll still maintain your coziness in the comfort of your beddy-bye or easy chair, compliments of the late great Lilan Jackson Braun.
***JOKE OF THE DAY***
Q: Where do rabbits go when they’re sick?
A: Urgent Carrot.
Jim Qwilleran has a lot on his plate in “The Cat Who Talked Turkey”. A man mysteriously dies on his property all while Qwill tries to write a radio drama about the Storm of 1913 on top of writing articles in the newspaper about recent events such as the building of a new library and the Scottish celebration in the neighboring town of Brr. How does he juggle all of these elements into his own personal narrative? With the help of his two Siamese kitty babies, Koko and Yum-Yum. Cats always give their owners comfort and coziness, especially in times of nervousness and high energy. A simple stroke along the kitty’s soft, fluffy fur can bring about feelings of joy comparable to the same kitty’s gentle purr. But Koko and Yum-Yum aren’t just comfort animals. They’re very helpful to Qwilleran when he needs a mystery to be solved. Koko is extremely intuitive when it comes to detecting the ill intentions of the people that Qwill involves himself with. If Koko likes the person, he’ll emit a gentle meow and maybe even a few purrs that are as loud as a lawnmower. If he senses foul play, he’ll emit one of his famous “death howls” along with his evil-sounding hisses. Qwill often wonders if Koko has psychic abilities or if he just has a lot of empathy for people. Yum-Yum plays the part of the affectionate and flirty kitty. She’s always rubbing her head against the guests’ ankles and even untying their shoes for them. She loves to bat around small objects, her favorite one in this particular story being a metal thimble. Yum-Yum can be just as intuitive as Koko, but gets too nervous to spring into action like her older brother normally does. Together, Koko and Yum-Yum bring joy and happiness not only to the lives of Qwill and his friends, but also to the reader. Despite the multiple murders that take place in this story, they’re not enough to keep the reader from wanting to snuggle the two kitties in his arms and hold them on his lap. Belly rubs and gentle ear massages for Koko and Yum-Yum! Because of the coziness and happiness these “Cat Who…” books bring about, I could easily go through the whole series without missing a beat. It’s what Lilian Jackson Braun would have wanted: for the two little animal babies to be remembered for bringing joy into people‘s lives. May Ms. Braun rest in peace.
***COMEDIC QUOTE OF THE DAY***
“An art thief is someone who takes pictures.”
-George Carlin-
