Body Positivity

***BODY POSITIVITY***

Judging from how my selfies look these days, this is going to come as a major shock to a lot of people (eye roll). I treat the fat guy with the same respect that I treat the athlete. There are good and bad people on both sides of that spectrum and that’s really the only criteria I use to decide if I like someone or not. You can do bicep curls and military presses until the end of time, but until you treat your fellow human being with love and kindness, you don’t deserve my respect.

I know that sounds ironic considering my love for WWE and how only a small minority of those wrestlers are out of shape. Yes, I enjoy the flippy-floppy techniques of guys like Neville and Seth Rollins, but I also don’t feel the need to bash out of shape wrestlers like Kevin Owens and Bray Wyatt simply because of how they look. Whether it’s with WWE or real life, looks don’t mean shit anymore. There are fat guys who are happily married and muscle studs who are struggling to find a girlfriend. Yes, I know Family Guy is only a cartoon where the characters beat the shit out of each other constantly, but the fact that a chubby guy like Peter Griffin can have a sexy redhead like Lois isn’t lost on me.

Not everybody on this planet has to be a sex object with rippling muscles and firm thighs. Sometimes I get the feeling that the only reason we have fat shaming in our society today is because the ones doing the shaming want someone to jerk off to. They don’t have enough people wax the carrot to, so they expect the whole world to look like sex statues. So that’s it, huh? If I were to go to the gym and exercise my ass off until I was 200 lbs, my biggest reward would be people jerking off to me? Gee, thanks a lot.

Another excuse fat shamers like to use to do what they do is that they’re concerned for their target’s health. So let me get this straight: you’re worried they might die from a heart attack or a stroke, so you insult them until they feel suicidal? Great logic. Great fucking logic. If you’re legitimately concerned about a fat guy’s health, cheer them on, don’t insult them. That drill instructor logic will get you five knuckles of death right in the fucking jaw.

So, the primary excuses people have for making fun of fat people are not enough wanking material and fake health concerns. I thought that would have been the end of it. And then Bill Maher closes an episode of Real Time with one of the most disgusting monologues I’ve heard in a long while. He chastised publications like The Huffington Post for promoting body positivity because obesity is supposed to be a disease, not a fashion trend. It’s one thing for him to make fat jokes about guys like Donald Trump, Chris Christie, and Rush Limbaugh, because those three are bona fide assholes. But to generalize the argument to include everyday people? Unbelievable.

Imagine if the wrong person were to see that kind of message on TV. Maybe it’s a fat guy in high school being bullied by jocks. Maybe it’s a binge-eating fat woman with low self-esteem and suicidal thoughts. No less than a week after doing an ending monologue about Republicans being trolls, Bill Maher became a troll himself to the entire obese population. He was already on my shit list for telling his audience how to dress and bitching about superhero movies and fast-paced novels. Those things I can deal with. But after that night of fat shaming, I have to reconsider my fandom for Mr. Maher. Yes, he and I are both proud liberals with a strong sense of zeal, but is he really fighting for someone like me with his show?

On one hand, I understand the health risks of being overweight. I know this, because there were times when I’d get winded climbing the stairs. I would come home from walks to the convenience store dripping with sweat like a fire hydrant. I have sleep apnea that isn’t always cured with my CPAP. The fact that I even have a CPAP says a lot about the state of my body. Am I the healthiest person on earth? Not really. But that doesn’t mean I have to feel like shit because of it. There are worse things in this world than being fat, such as being evil, stupid, shallow, obnoxious, and hateful among other negative qualities.

In the end, the only one who has the right to an opinion of your body is you yourself. If you like the way you look, good for you. If you don’t, do something about it. But if you are going to do something about it, make sure you have the final say. It’s your body, after all. Making diet and exercise choices shouldn’t be taken lightly and shouldn’t be because of coercion or insults. Surround yourself with people who embody a positive state of mind. They’re the ones who will help you through your body issues, not the jerk-offs and trolls. Somebody out there loves you and hopefully you love yourself too. We’ve got ears, say cheers!

***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***

Two days ago, I finally pumped out “Wolf’s Cannonball”, the martial arts retelling of Little Red Riding Hood. The next character from that story to be drawn will be Little Red Sniper. I ordered some red colored pencils from Amazon and I might wait for them to get here before I get started on this drawing. I might have other variations of red in my collection, I just have to look for them.

***BOOK REVIEW***

I only have a little over a hundred pages left to read from Chris Jericho’s third memoir “The Best in the World: At What I Have No Idea”. I would have made some progress on it today, but I was feeling the blahs as far as creativity went. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a more energetic day. I plan on giving this book the same grade I gave to Chris Jericho’s first two memoirs: four stars out of five. He’s witty, he’s to-the-point, he’s entertaining…what more could I ask for out of a pro-wrestler turned author?

***JOKE OF THE DAY***

Q: What did Barack Obama say to the Republican Party in 2012?

A: Damn Mitt!

Makeshift Wrestling Teams

***MAKESHIFT WRESTLING TEAMS***

Whether you’re a wrestling fan or not, this journal is strictly for my own amusement. I have a raunchy sense of humor with a little bit of Peter Pan Syndrome going on, so I can’t let this opportunity at cheap laughs to slide. Anyways, if you’re a wrestling fan, you know who Team PCB are. The acronym in their team name is made up of their first initials: Paige, Charlotte, and Becky Lynch. They used to be called The Submission Sorority, but when WWE found out that the name was already being used for a porn movie title, they took the route of using initials. And that got me thinking…what other makeshift teams can be formed the same way? Hmmm….

　

1. Kane, Kalisto, and Konnor (Team KKK)

2. Goldust, Ryback, and Rusev (Team GRR)

3. Cesaro, The Undertaker, Neville, and Tamina (Team CUNT)

4. Kevin Owens, Christian, and Kane (Team KOCK)

5. Fandango, The Undertaker, Cesaro, and Kane (Team FUCK)

6. Sin Cara, The Undertaker, and The Miz (Team SCUM)

7. Sin Cara and Adam Rose (Team SCAR)

8. Big E and Diego (Team BED)

9. Jimmy Uso, Neville, and Konnor (Team JUNK)

10. Hornswoggle and Erick Rowan (Team HER)

11. Sting, Hideo Itami, and Tamina (Team SHIT)

12. Blake, Alex Riley, and Fernando (Team BARF)

13. Randy Orton and Adam Rose (Team ROAR)

14. Bayley and Alberto Del Rio (Team BAD)

　

There. It’s all out of my system. I couldn’t be more proud of myself. I love having Peter Pan Syndrome. Hehe! We’ve got ears, say cheers!

　

***EDITING PRIORITIES***

With Occupy Wrestling holding a rating of 2-75 stars and Poison Tongue Tales being close to hitting the 50^th story, it seems as though I’ve come to a crossroads when it comes to editing and working with the ultra awesome Marie Krepps, who’s tough when it matters and a kick-ass best friend. She insists that Occupy Wrestling should take priority since it’s already on the market and she doesn’t want it to be unfairly judged. Good point. Damn good point. But she also said that the decision was ultimately up to me when it came to which book I should edit. I took that to heart when I made my decision. The decision is, why can’t I work on them side-by-side? Is singular focus so sacred that these books can’t coexist in the same process? One day could be spent bulldozing short stories, the next day could be spent editing the hell out of individual OW chapters, and the cycle will repeat until both books are finished. Granted, it will require a great deal of discipline, but that’s something I’m capable of showing even during my low energy days.

　

***WEEKLY SHORT STORY CONTEST AND COMPANY***

It’s a new week at the WSS and the prompt is “Fireworks”. The story I produce for that prompt won’t be part of Poison Tongue Tales since it’s a modern drama. It’s called “Football Sucks” and it goes like this:

　

CHARACTERS:

　

Irwin Gladden, New Mayor of Paulson City
Fred Jacobs, Irwin’s Bodyguard
Random Protesters

　

PROMPT CONFORMITY: Protesters set off fireworks as part of their demonstration.

　

SYNOPSIS: As Irwin’s first official act as mayor, he plans on balancing the city budget by converting a taxpayer-funded football stadium into the city’s largest public library. He even goes so far as to taunt opponents of this measure by saying, “Football sucks”. The morning after making this announcement, Irwin has an army of protesters outside his political headquarters and things don’t get better when Fred enters the room dizzy and bleeding.

　

***POISON TONGUE TALES***

Last night, I wrote story number 48, which was “Wasteland”. Story number 49 will be called “Mastodon” and it goes like this:

　

CHARACTERS:

　

Christopher Brown, Bounty Hunter
Courtney Robyn, Psychotic Criminal

　

PROMPT CONFORMITY: To be announced.

　

SYNOPSIS: In a Dungeons & Dragons-like atmosphere, the city of Middlesex is overrun with criminals and it’s up to human fighter Christopher Brown to capture them for a reward. His latest hunt is Courtney Robyn, a psychotic serial killer whose body count is in the hundreds. Just when he’s closing in on her location, Courtney comes stampeding through the streets riding on a mastodon, crushing everyone in her path.

　

And in case you were wondering, no, Christopher Brown isn’t based on the rapper Chris Brown, although the former’s job requires him to fight a female serial killer. I swear it’s only a coincidence, though. I swear on my mother’s grave (even though she’s still alive).

　

***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***

The next drawing to come from this series will be of Elizabeth Dempsey, a human ranger from Blood Brawl who is in no way related to Brock Dempsey from Maggie’s Wisdom. It’s amazing that even though Blood Brawl is suspended, I still have the desire to draw the characters from that would-be novel. The more, the merrier I say.

　

***WRESTLING QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“If I hear one note out of that trombone, I’m going to send all three of you to a place that makes Suplex City look like Disneyland!”

-Stephanie McMahon to The New Day-

Tony Wayne

NAME: Tony Wayne
AGE: 30
OCCUPATION: Competitive Motorcyclist
CANON: The Motorcycle Man


If there’s ever any doubt as to whether or not Tony Wayne should be on my unemployed list, consider this: “The Motorcycle Man” was a movie script I wrote in the early 90’s. When I was alive and well in the early 90’s, I was still going to elementary school in Vancouver, Washington. Do you think that a little kid at that age has it in him to write a full-length movie script? That’s a lot of work for someone that small. I had a hard enough time figuring out adding and subtracting.

Paying attention to literary details? That was clearly asking too much. The script for The Motorcycle Man amounted to me writing all of the dialogue for Tony Wayne and nothing more. The “script” was about as long as a half sheet of sketching paper. But it must have been a movie script, because it had the Parntitmount (which was how I spelled “Paramount”) logo at the beginning of it. Back then I took more interest in the vanity logos than I did with the actual movies. Comprehension was not my strong suit when I was a kid. Then again, it might be because I was born with autism. Or it could be because I was a kid and didn’t know better.

The vision I had for this movie came about when I went to a yard sale with my mom and she got me a little toy motorcycle with a rubber rider on top of it. I would run this motorcycle all over the furniture thinking the couches, desks, and boxes were all part of an elaborate obstacle course. I could have fight scenes, chase scenes, and the occasional gratuitous showing off with this toy alone. Tony Wayne, at least in my imagination, was America’s next big action movie hero.

You’re probably wondering why I would resurrect a character from my childhood and bring him into my adult life considering Tony Wayne didn’t have a whole lot going for him in the way of development. You would be right to ask such a bold question, because Tony’s resume is a blank slate at this point. Yes, he entertained me for hours as a toy, but as a character in one of my stories, he doesn’t have much to work with.

Okay, so he’s a motorcyclist and an action hero. Since I’m not into motocross or anything like that, I should just stick Tony in the action hero category. If that’s the case, he would be a lot like those guys in “The Fast and The Furious”: a bunch of con men trying to get away with something. But since Tony is meant to be a hero, his conning could be seen as an homage to Robin Hood. Let’s see if his motorcycle trickery can get him across the Canadian border when he makes off with a backpack full of Citi Bank’s money.

I know, I know. It’s a backpack, so mass wealth distribution isn’t going to work out the way he had hoped. But maybe he can bring the backpack to a homeless hangout that’s really personal to him. One act of Robin Hood kindness can spread quicker than a Trojan Horse virus on the internet. Would that mean Tony Wayne has partners in crime? The more, the merrier! He could start his own motorcycle gang and do good for the people instead of exploiting them like the Hell’s Angels and Mongrels do.

Anywhere with an action and adventure setting is sure to attract a thrill-seeker such as Tony Wayne. He could visit Disneyland and ride his motorcycle across the rollercoaster tracks in an attempt to thwart an evil plot. He could jump across the Grand Canyon to thwart another evil plot. He could ride across the stage at Carolina Rebellion and have Lamb of God be his live soundtrack. That’s the beautiful thing about having a clean slate: they’re fun to fill up. Would you rather have an experienced character who has so much baggage or would you rather have a young gun you can mold into whatever you want? Think about it.

　

***WRESTLING QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“Neville is so quick that every time I try to call his matches, I get more confused than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles.”

-Jerry Lawler-