There Won't Be a Next Time

VERSE 1

Call me on the phone with tears in your eyes

All because you never got to say goodbye

It’s two in the morning and I’ve popped my pills

I have this conversation against my will

You’ve searched every place for just one answer

Except for the mirror, your one true romancer

It’s all your fault, ‘cause everything’s your fault

Rip the cord out of the wall to end these phone calls

 

CHORUS

I already know you won’t do it next time

Why? Because there won’t be a next time!

You’re like everyone else who blew their chances

Flushed away your own friendships and romances

 

VERSE 2

I can only imagine what you’re like in real life

Either a fair-weather friend or a yandere wife

Would you throw knives at me at Thanksgiving dinner?

Debate me at Christmas until you’re the winner?

Leave me behind on a faraway vacation?

So many dark scenarios in my imagination

Anxiety gives me the gift that keeps giving

A lifetime with you isn’t one that’s worth living

 

CHORUS

I already know you won’t do it next time

Why? Because there won’t be a next time!

You’re like everyone else who blew their chances

Flushed away your own friendships and romances

 

BRIDGE

Life would be easier if you just wore a shirt

That says, “I’m evil and I’m lower than dirt”

That way I wouldn’t spend time chasing your skirt

My brain would stay sane, your heart would never hurt

 

VERSE 3

And now it’s all over, so what should I do?

Spend more time creating, less thinking of you

I’ve got a wish list that’s about a mile long

Time to show the world what it means to be strong

But first a little shiver underneath my blanket

Wondering all day if I’m even going to make it

I dreamed of making money with my artistic skills

Climb the corporate mountain, but the avalanche kills

 

EXTENDED CHORUS

I already know you won’t do it next time

Why? Because there won’t be a next time!

You’re like everyone else who blew their chances

Flushed away your own friendships and romances

You can say you’re sorry until your throat goes raw

You can scream until you unhinge your own jaw

You can hang onto my leg like a little bitty toddler

Go and get a life, unlike an aborted daughter

Pants Down

Red-handed, pants around your feet

Dirty ass pasted to the toilet seat

Porno magazine covered in dude soup

Should I give you more time to regroup?

You got caught, you’re fucking busted

No need to have your fingerprints dusted

It’s your fault, own up to the mistake

Before I find one of your limbs to break

You’re sorry? Why do I not believe you?

I’m not the one who’s trying to deceive you

You spent a whole lifetime telling me lies

This is where I finally cut our damn ties

Pants down and fake tears on your face

As you scramble to find another place

Pants down and your whole life story

All of it is drama and none of it is glory

Pants down and Mary-Sue privilege

Nobody in town sees you as the villain

One day you’ll piss off the wrong guy

And he won’t care when you cry

Rest in pieces when you convert to Jesus

Bang on heaven’s gate for all four seasons

Stealing from me has all led up to this

I hope you enjoyed your riches and bliss

I know I enjoyed the lesson I just learned

That trust isn’t easy and must be earned

One strike and you’re out, get off the plate

Before I leave your nuts in a sterile state

Batter on deck, play baseball with your balls

Thunderous crack echoing off the walls

I’m in love with my newfound courage

As I finally pull these theater curtains

On toxic people and toxic friendships

On future prisoners, courtroom defendants

Somewhere over your heavenly rainbow

Is a lot more of the same old, same old