The Whole World Is Watching

The whole world is watching whenever you’re botching

A million TV’s tune in

Whenever you shower, their dicks become towers

Tissues flushed into the sewage

Whenever you slide and you land on your hide

They laugh just like a demon

Whenever you stutter and melt into butter

The power dynamic is uneven

When you ask her out and you’re crippled by doubt

The comedy starts to punch down

When your ass gets fired for being too tired

You become their favorite punk clown

When you leave the bar and then you crash your car

The comedy turns into tragedy

When you rot in jail from your epic fail

It’s time to end the pageantry

When you take your last breath and teeter on death

The shock pads wake you up

When they set you free for the world to see

They grab their popcorn and soda cup

When you leave them hanging, their big heads are banging

Against a fucking brick wall

When you’re born for laughs and government graphs

You don’t have permission to bawl

When you’re born this way, at the end of the day

It was God who made the mistake

When death’s a solution in this institution

It’s your only shot at a coffee break

The whole world is watching whenever you’re dodging

The spotlight in the sky

The whole world hates you, they always debate you

Brain tells you to say goodbye

Salty Cindy

Teaching history? You’re on the wrong side of it

You took your students’ lives, turned them into shit

Yelling and screaming until they hear you from Scotland

If you went further east, they’d launch nuclear rockets

Oral quizzes? You’ve got no fucking business

Put our anxiety on display for millions to witness

Calling us lazy when we worked our asses off

But we believed it like our brains were acid washed

Rushing us through like a military exercise

So that we’d be good drones in a capitalist enterprise

Don’t you know it takes more than a degree

To teach any class, let alone senior history?

Empathy and kindness should be prerequisites

Not a grumpy outlook and marine sentiments

If I wanted to fight a bunch of strangers overseas

I’d have actually said the words, “Sign me up, please!”

But I didn’t, because I’m not a cog in the machine

I have my own ambitions, my own goals to achieve

None of them include listening to your loud voice

The future is mine, I’m the one who makes the choice

Where do you belong? In the unemployment line

Although I wouldn’t even trust you to cook my fries

Wouldn’t trust you to take care of my kitties

Nor my puppies neither, you’d be just as shitty

I don’t even think your own family likes you

Face it, Salty Cindy, you have nothing left to do

You can go get fucked with a rifle’s bayonet

It’s a surefire bet, are there any takers yet?

Like a sex offender, you don’t belong near a school

You belong in a morgue where the bodies are cool

I know this all sounds just a little too extreme

But this is what I do when you fuck with my dreams

"I Laughed, I Cried, I Crapped Myself" by Ashley Uzzell and Anette Suggs

BOOK TITLE: I Laughed, I Cried, I Crapped Myself: Poetry of Life
AUTHORS: Anette Suggs & Ashley Uzzell
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Poetry
SUBGENRE: Personal
GRADE: Pass


The bond between grandmother and granddaughter has never been clearer than in this book of poetry from both authors. They shared emotions, beliefs, moments, and most importantly, they shared life together. Ms. Anette Suggs will be surely missed, but this book of poetry will keep her memory immortalized until time itself is standing still. No topic is off limits, yet the innocence of it all is maintained throughout this read.

Just like with our favorite music, it’s always nice if the poetry we read is relatable and pretty much every poem in this book speaks to our souls. When you forget who you are and need to be reminded, try “I Am”. When you’ve lost your innocence and your flower is wilting, the poem is actually titled “Innocence”. When you’re fearing for the life of your child because he or she fell on the pavement, you’ve got “Impact”.

And then there’s a poem called “Wasted Emotions”, which is about how romantic couples grow apart over time and its no less heartbreaking when the end is near. “Wasted Emotions” is special to me because Ashley Uzzell posted it in the message board of one of my own Deviant Art poems called “A Love Song to No One”, which harbors the same sorrowful feelings. I’m not sure if her poem was inspired by mine, but whatever the case, I will always clutch it to my heart. There’s something for everyone in this poetry book. All you have to do is read it all the way through, which shouldn’t be hard considering it’s less than 50 pages.

The individual poems themselves, whether written by grandmother or granddaughter, are written with a clear and concise meter that makes reading them out loud or singing them onstage a piece of cake. Not all of them have rhyming verses, but it shouldn’t matter because the poems are enjoyable and rhythmic anyways. There’s a disclaimer in the front of the book that says some of this poetry was written in the mid-1990’s, which means Ashley Uzzell was only a child, yet she writes like someone who has been doing this for a long, long time. To tell you the truth, I wish I had her and her grandmother’s skills when I was starting out writing poetry in 2004.

Anette Suggs passed away and left behind a legacy that will last forever in the hearts and minds of those who got to know her, either personally or literarily. As I write this review, Ashely Uzzell is 30 years old and still has a bright future ahead of her. I have no doubts that those many decades will be used for creating even more beauty than we’ve seen in her poetry book. I’m not saying that as her personal friend; I’m saying it as a lover of literature, which is the real reason this book gets a passing grade.