Trees and Rocks

(In the style of Wesley Willis)

VERSE 1

Nature vacations are the worst

It’s just trees and rocks

They sit there and do nothing

You can’t buy chicken from a tree

CHORUS

Nature is so boring

Nature is so boring

Nature is so boring

Nature is so boring

VERSE 2

Where are all the heavy metal bands?

Where are the wrestling matches?

Where are the arcade machines?

You can’t play Double Dragon in a creek

CHORUS

Nature is so boring

Nature is so boring

Nature is so boring

Nature is so boring

VERSE 3

There are no animals in the forest

Except the ones that can kill you

Grizzlies will eat you alive

You can’t talk about barbarians and wizards with a bear

CHORUS

Nature is so boring

Nature is so boring

Nature is so boring

Nature is so boring

FINAL VERSE

If trees had wi-fi signals

I’d go there in a heartbeat

And order fried chicken from Door Dash

My Name Is Starship Cobain

VERSE 1

My name is Starship Cobain and I’m from Washington State

The capitalist kiss of death is something I fucking hate

Lost my job at the Amazon warehouse, tossed out like trash

Now I live check-to-check by slaving away for Door Dash

I can deal with my pain with a roll of medical Mary-Jane

I’d smoke that shit regardless of what the lawmakers say

It’s as legal as whoring yourself out in the city of Las Vegas

Until the feds catch you with your pants down playing Sega

VERSE 2

My name is Starship Cobain and I’m from Port Orchard

They should really think about changing the name to Poor Tortured

Everybody’s got a truck and they all voted for Trump

They got the bumper stickers to prove it and the sense of a tree stump

Everybody’s transmission sounds like a smoker’s cough

If you turned it up to eleven and exploded their heads off

Not much to do here but sit in line at the Burger King

And order a hundred whoppers with a tank of onion rings

VERSE 3

My name is Starship Cobain, let’s all go to Seattle

And pray we don’t get caught up in a gangster gun battle

All I want out of this city is a show with Pop Evil

Fuck around in the mosh pit with some drunk ass people

I miss the days of Nirvana and that whole damn scene

A generation depressed when Kurt blew his head off clean

There were many imitators, but none of them could compare

To the gravelly voice that made your hair stand in the air

VERSE 4

My name is Starship Cobain, what does that even mean?

Hell if I know, it probably came to me in a dream

Or maybe it was chosen by my schizophrenic voices

Because from here on out, they’ll always make my choices