Raising the Bar

CHORUS 1

You’re just mad because I’m raising the bar

I’m walking down the street looking like a superstar

Shout your shit at me from your Oscar-Meyer car

Overcompensate for a dick that doesn’t measure far

 

VERSE 1

Speaking of bars, we got to talk about this

You’re chugging Miller Lite a.k.a. horse piss

That chick looks cute, why don’t you give her a kiss

That’s your grandma, dude, get the fuck off her lips

Your drunken escapade is worth a quick mention

In a place called R-slash Incest Confessions

Those stories are fake, no doubt or a question

But you got a nonfiction Dewey Decimal extension

 

CHORUS 2

You’re just mad because I’m raising the bar

I’m walking down the street looking like a superstar

Shout your dog whistle slogans from a Cyber Truck

If you died in a car fire, I wouldn’t give a fuck

 

VERSE 2

Maybe Reddit forums really aren’t your vibe

Maybe farming for kiwis is where you’ll find your tribe

Get pissed at the world, especially all the girls

Who wouldn’t let you pound the pun-tang, ‘cause you made them hurl

Or maybe it’s a pair of dick and balls that you’re after

You can’t confess or you’ll bring your friends to laughter

They got your address, SWAT team makes an arrest

Stuck in a cell with Bubba, well, you know the rest

 

CHORUS 3

You’re just mad because I’m raising the bar

I’m walking down the street looking like a superstar

Shout the F-slur from your gas-wasting hummer

You deny climate change, die of heat stroke in the summer

You’re just mad because I’m raising the bar

I’m walking down the street looking like a superstar

Shout behind a megaphone from your black and white

Bring it on, Blue Balls, because I know my rights

Chest Milk

(In the style of “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred)

 

VERSE 1

He’s a right-wing billionaire

And he just doesn’t care

If he stinks up your air

He’s a red-pilled alpha male

Who never goes to jail

SA victims were failed

And he deadnamed his own daughter

And led her to the slaughter

While his mistress broke her water

 

CHORUS

He’s a model and he wants his bottle

But not whiskey or beer, just some chest milk

He wants some chest milk

He wants some chest milk, yeah

He’s sad because I didn’t call it breast milk

 

VERSE 2

He’s a funny, funny guy

Who wants to make them cry

When they’re bored, he asks, “Why, oh, why?!”

And he drives a cyber truck

And he don’t give a fuck

‘Cause he’s gotten by on luck

 

CHORUS

He’s a model and he wants his bottle

But not whiskey or beer, just some chest milk

He wants some chest milk

He wants some chest milk, yeah

He’s sad because I didn’t call it breast milk

 

VERSE 3

And he outlawed the word cis

And his fans gave him a kiss

On the organ that goes “piss”

 

CHORUS

He’s a model and he wants his bottle

But not whiskey or beer, just some chest milk

He wants some chest milk

He wants some chest milk, yeah

He’s sad because I didn’t call it breast milk

 

VERSE 4

And he bought the birdie app

And it’s a piece of crap

‘Cause it’s for slurs and faps

He, he bought the birdie app

A rage-a-holic trap

For those about to snap

Swipe left, not worth a single tap