CHORUS
Everyone’s a badass ‘til they’re lying on their backs
Every Chad is beefy ‘til he’s eaten like a snack
Taking you out will hardly require any skill
In the end, you’re nothing but an easy kill
VERSE 1
You got your black belt in Brazilian jujitsu
From a guy who teaches class on French ninjitsu
You’re the master of the art of Mexican kung fu
But when you ask for a medal, they say, “Fuck you!”
The only ring that you’ve ever been inside
Was the one that made your cock stand up with pride
Your chin is made of glass, knocked out on your ass
You’re the same as every slacker in junior high gym class
CHORUS
Everyone’s a badass ‘til they’re lying on their backs
Every Chad is beefy ‘til he’s eaten like a snack
Taking you out will hardly require any skill
In the end, you’re nothing but an easy kill
VERSE 2
You have thousands of confirmed kills in the army
But you had a bazooka, they had rakes for farming
I bet if I melted down your precious combat medals
I couldn’t buy a candy bar or coffee for the kettle
I’d pay for your medicine, but you voted against it
Because you want to be a good Confederate descendant
What’re you going to do when your leg snaps in half
When you run a marathon from your problematic past?
CHORUS
Everyone’s a badass ‘til they’re lying on their backs
Every Chad is beefy ‘til he’s eaten like a snack
Taking you out will hardly require any skill
In the end, you’re nothing but an easy kill
VERSE 3
Your life is like an arcade continuation screen
You’ve got ten seconds to put more coins in the machine
But even with another life, fighting games don’t teach
All the macho manliness that you love to fucking preach
EXTENDED CHORUS
Everyone’s a badass ‘til they’re lying on their backs
Every Chad is beefy ‘til he’s eaten like a snack
Taking you out will hardly require any skill
In the end, you’re nothing but an easy kill
Everyone’s undefeated until they lose clean
From a head kick turned horror movie scene
Everyone’s a champion ‘til the belt is gone
An easy kill like you could never last long
