Easy Kill

 CHORUS

Everyone’s a badass ‘til they’re lying on their backs

Every Chad is beefy ‘til he’s eaten like a snack

Taking you out will hardly require any skill

In the end, you’re nothing but an easy kill

VERSE 1

You got your black belt in Brazilian jujitsu

From a guy who teaches class on French ninjitsu

You’re the master of the art of Mexican kung fu

But when you ask for a medal, they say, “Fuck you!”

The only ring that you’ve ever been inside

Was the one that made your cock stand up with pride

Your chin is made of glass, knocked out on your ass

You’re the same as every slacker in junior high gym class

CHORUS

Everyone’s a badass ‘til they’re lying on their backs

Every Chad is beefy ‘til he’s eaten like a snack

Taking you out will hardly require any skill

In the end, you’re nothing but an easy kill

VERSE 2

You have thousands of confirmed kills in the army

But you had a bazooka, they had rakes for farming

I bet if I melted down your precious combat medals

I couldn’t buy a candy bar or coffee for the kettle

I’d pay for your medicine, but you voted against it

Because you want to be a good Confederate descendant

What’re you going to do when your leg snaps in half

When you run a marathon from your problematic past?

CHORUS

Everyone’s a badass ‘til they’re lying on their backs

Every Chad is beefy ‘til he’s eaten like a snack

Taking you out will hardly require any skill

In the end, you’re nothing but an easy kill

VERSE 3

Your life is like an arcade continuation screen

You’ve got ten seconds to put more coins in the machine

But even with another life, fighting games don’t teach

All the macho manliness that you love to fucking preach

EXTENDED CHORUS

Everyone’s a badass ‘til they’re lying on their backs

Every Chad is beefy ‘til he’s eaten like a snack

Taking you out will hardly require any skill

In the end, you’re nothing but an easy kill

Everyone’s undefeated until they lose clean

From a head kick turned horror movie scene

Everyone’s a champion ‘til the belt is gone

An easy kill like you could never last long