***LOONEY TUNES***
Do you feel like the world’s getting you down? You hate your
job? You hate school? You don’t have many friends? Tragedy strikes in the
strangest places? If you ever want to be lifted up from your slump, all you
have to remember is…the Looney Tunes can make anything funny. Anything. No
matter how dark or depressing the subject matter, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Elmer
Fudd, and all of those wacky characters can make light of it with their
over-the-top antics. George Carlin once told his audience to “picture Porky Pig
raping Elmer Fudd” and they laughed like hyenas. I know you did too, because
George Carlin and Looney Tunes go together like cherry pie and whipped cream.
Wait a minute, that sounded dirty!
The Looney Tunes are funny because no matter what happens to
them, they’ll always be alive and well during the next cartoon. There was an
entire cartoon dedicated to Elmer Fudd shooting Daffy Duck’s beak off multiple
times. Low and behold, Daffy didn’t die; he just kept telling Bugs Bunny how despicable
he was. So if Looney Tunes characters don’t die, that means the animators can
subject them to any kind of inhumane torture they can think of and nothing will
happen except for audience laughter. Suppose Elmer Fudd is strapped to a
torture table with a ball gag in his mouth while a circular buzz saw is being
lowered into his stomach. It’s horrifying as hell when it happens to Ryu in the
Ninja Gaiden arcade game from the 80’s, but if it happened to Elmer Fudd…shit,
I’m chuckling just thinking about it!
It’s safe to say that the Looney Tunes have been a major
influence in some of my writing. It’s especially evident in my Poison Tongue
Tales stories “Forever Autumn” and “Sitka
the Nose Biter”. The main character in the former, an elf sorcerer named Mathias,
gets a coconut dropped on his head and stars circle around him while a big
fucking knot forms on his dome. In “Sitka the
Nose Biter”, whenever the eponymous kitty Sitka
would bite someone’s nose (surprise, surprise), instead of exploding like a
blood bomb, their noses would make honking sounds, like a clown horn or a goose
squawk.
The Looney Tunes influence is something that spans multiple
generations, not just to small children looking for cheap laughs and pointless
violence. My mom loves the Bugs Bunny cartoon where the baby buzzard searches
the desert for Bugs in an attempt to bring home dinner for his demanding
mother. Mom especially loves the way the baby buzzard says, “Oh, no, no, no,
no, no!” in a deep and goofy voice. Another one of her favorites is when Bugs
Bunny gives Gossamer a mouse trap manicure. “Monsters have the most INTERESTING
fingernails!” The cartoons in general are cute and cuddly despite the fact that
they feature anthropomorphic animals getting blown up or shot. I always make the
joke to my mom that it’s cute whenever Elmer Fudd goes hunting, but it’s
disgusting when Ted Nugent hunts. I’m not wrong.
I know it seems like I’m preaching to the choir when I’m
singing the Looney Tunes’ praises. They’re universally loved and continue to be
relevant in today’s world. Quite frankly, we could use a little more Looney
Tunes influence in a world full of bad shit. When I posted the #MeToo blog
entry a few weeks ago, it was one of my most sobering experiences. After
reliving those horrible moments, I had to be reminded that the world is a funny
place full of funny people. The Looney Tunes will never judge me. They’re too
busy blowing each other up and being cute little cuddle muffins.
Maintaining a sense of humor throughout all of the world’s
tragedies is paramount to happiness. If you don’t buy the Looney Tunes example,
then buy the Trevor Noah example I’m about to present you with. I’m currently
reading “Born a Crime”, a memoir by Mr. Noah detailing his childhood in
Apartheid-ruled South Africa .
As someone who’s biracial, he was loathed by pretty much every ethnic group in
his home country. He could have sealed himself off in his room and brooded for
the rest of his life, but he didn’t. He developed a sense of humor and won the
hearts of so many people that he’s now the host of The Daily Show. Good things
do happen when you want them to. Positive attitudes aren’t just new age
mantras; they’re tools for survival. We’ve got ears, say cheers! Actually,
since this blog is about the Looney Tunes, a-beep, a-beep, a-beep, that’s all,
folks!
***POISON TONGUE TALES 2: THE RIGHT TO REMAIN PSYCHOTIC***
Would you believe it if I told you I only have six more
stories to write for this series and then I’m done? Where did all the time go?
Holy shit! For the sixth to last short story, I’ve got something called “Thor
and Gore”. It goes like this:
CHARACTERS:
- Thor, Cannibalistic Zombie
- Kyle Houston, Lead Vocalist of Resistance
- Resistance, Heavy Metal Band
- Nameless Fans and Bouncers
PROMPT CONFORMITY: To be announced.
SYNOPSIS: Resistance is playing a show at the Tiger Dome and
Thor is a member of their audience. Other concert attendees think it’s okay to
piss him off by pouring beer on his head, throwing popcorn at him, and moshing
roughly with him. Underneath his gargantuan frame lies a bloodthirsty monster
who takes his aggression out on those who wrong him by biting and slashing
them. The bouncers are powerless to stop Thor and it doesn’t help matters that
the members of Resistance are encouraging his behavior by playing louder.
***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***
Because Thor was drawn and uploaded earlier today, Kyle
Houston is naturally the next in line for a drawing. Since he’s a heavy metal
vocalist, I’m trying to figure out who I should use as my reference model. Ivan
Moody? Phil Anselmo? Randy Blythe? Corey Taylor? So many options, so little
time!
***FACE BOOK POST OF THE DAY***
When I was a teenager
doing Mad Libs with my family, James would always want me to skip my turn
whenever the narrator asked for an example of a liquid. I still to this day
wonder what would make him do that. Hehe!
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