VERSE 1
Fondling her tits doesn’t make you a stud
She hates it even more when you grab her butt
This isn’t the classic tale of Romeo & Juliet
This is a traumatic nightmare she won’t forget
Every time you snap an unwanted photograph
Every time you crudely joke and nobody laughs
She’s thinking of spraying you right in the eyes
Even if it takes her more than fifty fucking tries
CHORUS
That’s! Not! Love! X2
VERSE 2
Fifty shades of sexualized violence
Fifty shades of embarrassed silence
Fifty shades of suicidal misery
Fifty shades of unsolvable mysteries
Touch her again and you’ll draw back a stump
Arrogant preening doesn’t give you the right to hump
Your washboard abs don’t mean fucking shit
Keep your goddamn hands off her fucking tits
EXTENDED CHORUS 1
That’s! Not! Love!
That’s! Not! Love!
This! Is! A Crime!
You! Will! Do Time!
VERSE 3
Great job, Romeo, you’ve found new romance
That’s why you’re wearing low baggy pants
It’s prison code for, “I want your load”
You’ll be squealing like a pig, croaking like a toad
There is no reward for sexual harassment
There is no future for a sexual assassin
I don’t give a fuck who the president is
Nobody wants your disgusting ass jizz
EXTENDED CHORUS 2
That’s! Not! Love!
That’s! Not! Love!
This! Is! A Crime!
You! Will! Do Time!
Passionate love is a legitimate emotion
But not when you’ve got a stalker’s devotion
Not when your dick is a lethal weapon
Not when you’re a sex offender level seven
FINAL LINE
This! Is! Not! Fucking! Love!
