Volcanic

***VOLCANIC***

This is awesome. Whenever I’m desperate for a journal topic, I could just talk about the lyrics to a powerful song I like. This is my third song blog since giving up the practice on Garrison’s Library so many years ago. As it turns out, it actually helps pain the picture for my readers when I post the full lyrics from top to bottom. What’re we looking at today? Formaldehyde. Necrolium. Nitro Benzine. This thing actually has over seven thousand chemicals. Don’t get me started on what they do to you. Stunted lung growth. Prematurely wrinkled skin. Tooth loss. Cancer. Okay, so I may have stolen that from an antismoking commercial. What we’re really looking at is a song that produces more smoke than any cigarette ever could. It’s called “Volcanic” and it’s by Death Angel. Death Angel normally produces heavy thrash metal, but “Volcanic” is soft and gentle. Here’s how it goes:


VERSE 1
Sick and tired of living with this grief
Done with all the sorrow and the pain
Asphyxiated can no longer breathe
Anesthetized until I've gone insane
So carry all this baggage when you leave
Swallow all those bitter pills you take
Blame it on the world, blame it on me
Tolerated too much of your game

CHORUS
Temperamental, unpredictable
The sky turns black when I exhale

VERSE 2
A change of weather come around too much
A sign of a deeper cut
Lying dormant on a bed of nails
Without warning, violently erupt
So bleed the molten river from my veins
Collapse upon myself, disintegrate
Shame upon the world and shame on me
Hate the player but don't hate the game

CHORUS
Temperamental, unpredictable
The sky turns black when I exhale

VERSE 3
So condescend and patronize my lead
Persecute the innocent again
Rain down on the world and rain on me
Ticking like a bomb that's got your name

CHORUS
Temperamental, unpredictable
The sky turns black when I exhale


Don’t you feel better already?


***WEEKLY SHORT STORY CONTESTS AND COMPANY***

I’m definitely cutting it close when it comes to getting my entry in for this week’s contest, which is about “Last Words”. My main reason for a late entry has to do with going out in public the past few days and then feeling exhausted when I come home. Public life isn’t good for introverts, but working out at the gym is necessary for my health, so I go along with it. This week’s story is the first sci-fi/fantasy/horror one I’ve done since completing fifty stories for Poison Tongue Tales, which hasn’t been published yet. It’s called “Dancing with Mary Jane” and it goes like this:


CHARACTERS:

Frank Hennessy, Corrupt Cop
Sylvester James, Corrupt Cop
Tara Greenlee, Cancer Patient

PROMPT CONFORMITY: Tara’s last words are, “Justice will find you!”

SYNOPSIS: Frank and Sylvester confiscate medical marijuana from Tara and shoot her when she “resists”. The two corrupt cops go over to Frank’s house and smoke the marijuana themselves while throwing their own party. During the “festivities”, Frank and Sylvester see Tara as a ghost monster and think they’re just hallucinating. When the vengeful spirit proves otherwise, Frank and Sylvester are in a bloody fight for their lives.

FUN FACT: It’s only a coincidence that Tara, a marijuana user, has “Green” in her last name. No play on words here.


***CORNY HEAVY METAL JOKE OF THE DAY***

Q: What do you call it when Phil Anselmo multiplies a bunch of numbers together?
A: Math For War.


***POST-SCRIPT***

If you don’t listen to Pantera, you won’t know why that’s funny. If you really need to scratch your head that badly, I suggest you wash your hair with Head & Shoulders dandruff shampoo.

"Last Words" by George Carlin

Of all the comedians who have graced the stage with their giggly prowess, no one had a more legendary, prolific, and productive career than George Carlin. To this day, I consider him one of my biggest influences when it comes to my writing. And speaking of writing, it just so happens that his posthumous memoir “Last Words” is out in bookstores everywhere. In this book, he details the transformation he went through over the decades from an impressionist to a political sage. In his younger days he would do impressions of politicians, religious figures, celebrities, and even people in his own life. Because of the changing political environment around him, he wasn’t content with just sitting on the sidelines and letting all of these atrocities go to waste. He made this decision to include political humor in his routine around the time that America went to war with Vietnam and when Martin Luther King, Jr. and John F. Kennedy were assassinated. His political routines didn’t come without punishment, however. He was arrested several times for his use of vulgar language and even received death threats from irate fans. Carlin continued to press on and ignore the hatred from his conservative critics. Around the 1980’s, his political humor became more refined because he actually went to libraries and did research. It was due to this that his rant against Ronald Reagan was so well received by his audience. From that point on, he got more sadistic in his routines and began to incorporate dark comedy. The “Entropy Fan” skit was a prime example of how sick and twisted he could become. Through all of this evolution, it seemed as though Carlin’s words would resonate throughout history as being not only funny and enjoyable, but thought-provoking as well. But there’s a reason why this book was called “Last Words” and it’s because they really are his last words. In 2008, Carlin died due to heart problems and the world became much colder than it already was. If I could say something to Carlin right now, I would thank him for all of those decades of giggly moments and for being a huge influence on my writing. Truth be told, during my free time I actually practice famous George Carlin routines so that I can perform them in front of my family. How’s that for dedication?

　

***COMEDIC QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“Nobody would boil a lobster alive if it looked like a puppy.”

-George Carlin-