Lauren Kennedy West: a Schizophrenia Survivor Who Sounds Like Canada's Version of MAHA

 

Scammer Jammer: the Official Guide to Dealing with Telephone Scammers

 

Shoe On Head: She Devours Red Pills Like Movie Theater Popcorn

 

Toll Free Call

VERSE 1

It’s a toll free call in a free country

Please give us all of your hush money

Don’t lawyer up or try anything funny

Or we’ll be Elmer Fudd to your Bugs Bunny

VERSE 2

It’s a toll free call from Synchrony Bank

“Of course!” said a Young Turk named Cenk

Preying on the poor like it’s some kind of war

It’s really getting old, let’s go ahead and snore

VERSE 3

It’s a toll free call from Washington State

The kind that will stimulate your rage and hate

Don’t you wish you could reach through the phone

And snap the robo caller’s pencil neck bone?

VERSE 4

It’s a toll free call from the Russian president

Or a North Korean dictator that hell has sent

Or a Saudi Arabian prince who wants to convince

You to vote against your wishes in words not minced

VERSE 5

Rip the goddamn cable right out of the wall

And never ever get another toll free call

Tell your phone company they can suck a big one

If they want to go to war, then have some bloody fun