Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

 

Nia Jax

 

Twelve Days

VERSE 1

I could’ve been a rock star who sold out arenas

I could’ve been a bigger wrestler than Rock and John Cena

I could’ve been the president of the United States

I could’ve been the one to erase all the hate

Betrayal from within kept me from reaching those heights

Too many wars with my mind, lost those fights

Too many times where anxiety took over

Now this journey seems to go nowhere

CHORUS

One day of victory and twelve days of rest

But everyone keeps telling me it’s all for the best

Everyday I rot away

Dystopia is here to stay

VERSE 2

Paper lanterns with the dimmest lights of them all

Guide my way down the never-ending hall

Forgive me if I seem to stumble and fall

Or bang my fucked up head against the wall

If this trajectory sounds way too familiar

It’s because being directionless is such a killer

So many dreams of my peers are snuffed out

Now I’m the latest whose future is in doubt

CHORUS

One day of victory and twelve days of rest

But everyone keeps telling me it’s all for the best

Everyday I rot away

Dystopia is here to stay

BRIDGE

I could’ve been the hero of everyone’s story

I could’ve spread my wings, could’ve been soaring

I could’ve been the next god the world needed

But none of it’s possible when I feel defeated

CHORUS X2

One day of victory and twelve days of rest

But everyone keeps telling me it’s all for the best

Everyday I rot away

Dystopia is here to stay

Moana

MOVIE TITLE: Moana

DIRECTORS: Ron Clements and John Musker

YEAR: 2016

GENRE: Children’s Animation

RATING: G

GRADE: Pass

In ancient Polynesia, the demigod Maui steals a gem from the island goddess, unwittingly causing a lava demon to rise from the sea and spread a disease across the islands. Motunui is the latest target of this blight when its crops and fishes are dying rapidly. A future chieftain girl named Moana must now sail across the ocean and convince Maui to return the stolen gem to the island goddess. When Maui’s arrogance and Moana’s stubbornness clash, the quest to save the world becomes jeopardized. But the more time this unlikely team spends together, the more they get used to each other’s company, giving them a better chance of righting Maui’s wrongs.

Seeing as how Maui is a muscular human with a barbed wit and heroic athleticism, it only makes sense that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson provides his voice. Fans of WWE know how good of a trash talker he was and fans of his Hollywood resume know how much of a warrior he can be. Whether he’s a WWE champion, a GI Joe soldier with a chain gun, an FBI agent with an insanely fast car, or a self-centered demigod with a magical fish hook that’s bigger than he is, The Rock is a certified stud no matter what role he takes. He’s energetic, he’s hilarious, and he never misses a beat. I wouldn’t want anybody else taking the role of Maui. It just wouldn’t be right. The Rock’s performance is dead-on and justifiable of his million dollar salary.

Another thing I enjoyed about this movie was the environmental overtones. Yes, the fantasy elements such as the mystical gem and the lava monster don’t fit in with modern day politics, but the message is still the same: treat mother earth with respect and she’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted. If you take too much from her or abuse her in any way, you’re going to feel her wrath. Only take as many fish as you need, plant crops with abundance, and keep the animals and plant-life safe. It’s a simple message that doesn’t get heard enough. Think of Moana as a Disney-animated fantasy version of a Carl Hiaasen novel. Sure, Mr. Hiaasen’s novels don’t have lava monsters, but sometimes the worst monsters are the more realistic ones, like humans.

The final thing I want to touch on is the beauty of the Polynesian world in which Disney created. The clear blue water of the ocean looks like a lot of fun to drink and swim in. The palm tree forests and sandy beaches are vacation-worthy, which is funny considering I watched this movie on a Mexican cruise ship. The character designs are also lovable whether it’s the overly stupid chicken Heihei, the cuddly piggy baby that lives on Moana’s island, or even the gigantic gold and jewel-encrusted crab who’s holding Maui’s magical fishhook hostage. This is a world I wouldn’t mind living in despite the blight spreading across the islands. I would go swimming every day and eat fish until the end of time. Maybe I would even cuddle with Heihei and the piggy. Aww!

Moana is a beautifully executed movie with more high points than I’m capable of listing in this short review. If you like strong female characters, you’ll love the title protagonist. If you like beautiful scenery, you’ll love this movie as a whole. If you love comedic conversations, look no further than Dwayne Johnson and his portrayal of Maui. I would be hard pressed to find a single flaw within this movie. Yes, I know this movie has received a lot of criticism from the Polynesian community, but I prefer to enjoy a good movie instead of dwell in negativity. A passing grade goes to this lovely piece of children’s cinema!

Not For Business

***NOT FOR BUSINESS***

When I was transitioning from a kid to an adult, I gave up acting out scenes with my action figures and Legos. I had the mindset that if I wasn’t doing something to further my future career as a screenwriter (which is what I wanted to be at the time), then extracurricular activities were unnecessary and therefore a waste of time. I’m sure there are many adults who feel business-minded enough that their careers are their whole lives.

I’m telling you all right now, your career, no matter how passionately you feel about it, is not your whole life, and no extracurricular activities you undertake are a waste of time. Putting time into a career is only a small part of what life is supposed to be. The other part of that equation is…living! I had this struggle when I was drawing pictures of my characters for the first time. At first I thought to myself, “What does drawing pictures have to do with my career as a writer?” Technically, I could put them in my books as part of a mini-gallery, but ultimately, drawings have little impact on my writing career. The past me would have been terrified at that notion. The current version of me couldn’t give two shits.

Working the same job for endless hours can get tiring no matter how dedicated you are. Even the most passionate people have to learn to step away for a while and take the edge off. The now former drummer for Nothing More, Paul O’Brien, left the band because the hectic touring schedule has completely drained him. He was already dealing with social anxiety and depression, so having an off switch for his career was next to impossible. Luckily, he’s still on good terms with his Nothing More band mates. But some coworkers and bosses aren’t so forgiving. CM Punk left the WWE on sour terms because his body was aching and nobody was giving him a break. When you have to quit your career just to take the edge off, that’s a sign that you needed to take the edge off a long time ago, but in shorter bursts.

So don’t feel guilty about getting nothing done to advance your career whatever that may be. Take a break. Feel good about feeling good. Watch a new show. Go for a walk. Find new music to listen to. Draw some pictures. Play some videogames. Hit the reset button on your mind and it when it comes time to get back to work, know your escapes will always be there for you. Do you think Dante and Randal from Clerks feel like serving the community all day long? Bullshit, man! They’re on the roof playing hockey and going for road trips to funeral homes! You can add years to your life, but first you have to learn to add life to your years. And if your legacy isn’t immortalized in bronze by the time life is over, just know that it never had to be. Do what makes you happy with the life you have left. We’ve got ears, say cheers!

　

***WEEKLY SHORT STORY CONTEST AND COMPANY***

It’s a new week at the WSS, which means a new prompt for both storytellers and poets. Since I’m the former of those two, I’m going to write a Cat Lady story called “Ottie-Doo”, which goes like this:

　

CHARACTERS:

　
　

Ottie, Elderly Witch Kitty
Randy Fender, Backwoods Cult Leader
Random Cult Members

　

　
PROMPT CONFORMITY: Ottie is a cat who also happens to be a lady.

　

　
SYNOPSIS: Randy has plans to sacrifice Ottie in order to gain her magic powers. What he didn’t count on was Ottie tapping into her powers to fight back against the hairy cultist. The elderly kitty has an entire compound full of followers to fight off, but if anybody can do it, it’s the kitty who throws fireballs just for fun.

　

　

***DRAWING***

My next picture will be of Julian Heath, the gnome rogue protagonist from the Poison Tongue Tales short story “Ascension” (a title that will eventually change). I’m going to try and draw Julian in a way that will take up the whole page, but will also magnify his short stature. I’ve only successfully done this a handful of times, my most recent instance being with Baby from “Nail Bomb” (also from Poison Tongue Tales).

　

***PHOTOGRAPHY***

I’m normally known for taking pictures of my toys and my animals. I don’t take selfies often because I don’t like how the pictures magnify my overweight features. When I dress in my Slipknot costume for Halloween this year, I won’t mind the flashing camera so much. In fact, being overweight will probably help me look scarier than I already will be in that costume. Hehe!

　

***READING***

Now that Daniel Bryan’s memoir has been read and reviewed, it’s time to move on to a more time-sensitive piece of literature. Edward Davies, the author of Divine Intervention, encouraged me to join a group on Good Reads called Read Together, Blog Together. For the month of September, one the books under review is “So…I Met a Vampire” by Paul McAvoy. It’s a quick and short read, so the review should be up in no time at all.

　

***WRESTLING QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“I’m gonna drink a big glass of milk, eat some chocolate chip cookies, and then maybe I’ll take three Viagra.”

-The Rock mocking Kurt Angle-

Dr. Pie

When I was writing a story for a videogame idea called Final Fantasy Hardcore, my idea of cage fighting wasn’t what you see today in the UFC. There were no referee stoppages, no judges scoring the fight, no padded gloves, no baggy shorts, no nothing. To my way of thinking, cage fighting was a lot like how it was depicted in the X-Box game Dead or Alive 3 with electrified barbed wire surrounding the ring. Herb Dean or John McCarthy wouldn’t be there to save your ass. The only way you’re getting out of these cage fights is in a hearse. I wanted the cage fights in Final Fantasy Hardcore to resemble this smash mouth way of life. And of course, every sport has its legends, which is why I want to use this blog entry to talk about Dr. Pie. Think of him as being a much more badass parody of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Dr. Pie had short dreadlocks, a wife beater shirt, baggy khakis, basically in terms of looks, he resembled a street thug rather than a caricature of The Rock. Where Dr. Pie begins to look like him is when he has microphone time. And if you’re going to give him a microphone, you’d better change the rating of whatever show he’s on to TV-MA. This goes beyond turning something sideways and sticking it up somebody’s colon. Dr. Pie will take it one step too far. “Dr. Pie says, he’s going to pull out a condom, put it on his dick, bend you over, pull your pants down, and stick it straight up your candy ass!” It didn’t end with the world’s most obvious sexual come-on. Try this on for size: “Do you smell what Dr. Pie is fisting?” A little more disgusting, but it’s an M-rated game, so he can get away with it. But if he does happen to transition to the PG-era of cage fighting, he can say something like this: “John Cena looks like a giant box of digested Cocoa Puffs!” Mr. Cena probably won’t be too happy about that and will want to challenge Dr. Pie to a match at Wrestlemania. Truth is, John might be able to get away with that when he’s up against The Rock. But if Dr. Pie gives John Cena a Rock Bottom, it won’t just shake the ring and bring the fans to their feet; it’ll snap Cena’s spine in two like a candy cane. It’ll burst his ribcage like a bubble. It’ll spill his innards all over the arena. The medical examiner will have to carry him out in a pickle jar. Don’t get me started if Dr. Pie goes for a People’s Elbow. There won’t be any running off the ropes or any other fruity theatrics. Those elbows will look more like they were done by the love child of Ricardo Lamas and Bad News Barrett. When Ricardo Lamas threw elbows at a downed Erik Koch at a UFC event, Mr. Koch bled out of his forehead like a fire hydrant and John McCarthy had to stop the match. And Bad News Barrett? A knockout elbow is his favorite finishing move. He even calls it the Bad News Bull Hammer to give you an idea of how badly it hurts to be hit with it. With all this nasty shit going on for Dr. Pie, it won’t be long before he finds a kick-ass story to be a part of.

　

***FACE BOOK POST OF THE DAY***

“What’s disgusting to my audience is mundane to me.”

-Me-