***THE REAL GAME EXCUSE***
When I was still a member of Play By Web from 2001-2005, I
would oftentimes create text-based RPG’s based on preexisting videogames such
as Starcraft, Dead or Alive 3, and Final Fight just to name a few. The most
frequent excuse someone would use not to join these games was…”Why don’t you
just play the real game?” That irked me every time because I could never find a
counterpoint for it. They were right to some degree. The videogames were right
there ready to play and here I was attempting to capitalize off of them with
text-based games. But I wanted so badly for people to join my games. Debating
wasn’t and still isn’t my strong suit, because my opponents would come up with
infinite talking points that I’d have no answer for.
Well, today in the year 2017, I have an answer for what I
like to call “The Real Game Excuse”. It took me fifteen years to come up with a
legitimate argument, but better late than never. While videogames have all of
the graphics and gadgets to give their players a true vicarious experience,
they’re limited in what you can actually do with them. Sure, you can hack the
games and create your own levels and characters, but even that has its limits,
especially for people who suck with computers. Text-based versions of these
videogames offer endless possibilities with regards to character creation,
storylines, writing expertise, and imagination development. Have you ever tried
to create Megatron in a game of Diablo II: Lord of Destruction? No, and you
never will. But in a text-based version of that game, you most certainly could
if the referee allowed it.
But what if you don’t want to stick with just one game? What
if you want to do a crossover series? Now the possibilities are REALLY endless!
Take any two videogame titles, put an X between them, and you’re in business,
buddy! Super Mario Brothers 2 X Diablo II: Lord of Destruction: holy shit!
You’d have barbarians swinging battleaxes at Phantos, Lister the Tormentor
blowing bubbles and getting killed with vegetables, sorceresses throwing
lightning bolts at Clawgrip, Jesus Christ, look at all that! Try doing that
with just a copy of a videogame.
Want another example? Sure, why not? How about Super Street
Fighter II X Final Fantasy IV? Now you’ve got M. Bison psycho-crushing his way
through an army of Calcobrena Puppets. You’ve got Chun Li doing a spinning bird
kick while waiting for Kain Highwind to land from his jump attack. Hell, if
Kain wanted to jump that fucking high, he can count on Zangief to help him out
with a spinning pile-driver! What about the ultimate dream match between Ryu
and Yang? The possibilities are…well, you get the drill by now. No need to
overdo the talking point.
One last argument and then I’ll update you all on my
creative projects. Making a decision between a videogame and an RPG is like
making one between a movie and a book. With a videogame, you can see everything
on the screen and you don’t need to engage your imagination. Movies are like
that too. But with books and RPG’s, you have to create everything from scratch
and actually put some work into your craft. Why do you think people brag about
reading books more often than they do about watching movies? Granted, it takes
a lot of work to finish a videogame, but once you’re finished with it, it’s
over forever. If you were playing a pencil-and-paper RPG, you could go on for
as long as you so desired and create new adventures.
I hope you guys aren’t getting the impression that I’m
completely shitting on the videogame industry. I’ve played videogames since I
was a little kid and even though I gave up on them in 2010, I still use them as
a major source of creative fuel. They have their place society for sure, but
they’re not an excuse to shit all over text-based RPG’s. Both mediums have
their advantages and disadvantages, whether it’s cost analysis, creativity,
simplicity of rules, or overall fun. I encourage everyone to enjoy both sides
of this fence and live together in harmony. If someone has a pencil-and-paper
version of Double Dragon handy, don’t mock them for it. We’ve got ears, say
cheers!
***BORN A CRIME***
The next time I delve into Trevor Noah’s memoir, I’m going
to finish it off and review it. I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to give it
an extra credit grade or a passing one. It seems as though I’ve been handing
out extra credit grades like it’s Halloween candy. Maybe there really are that
many books out there that can change my life. Born a Crime could very easily be
one of them.
***POISON TONGUE TALES 2: THE RIGHT TO REMAIN PSYCHOTIC***
The fourth to last story in this series will be called
“Gorgon Death Bitch”. Since the prompt in this week’s WSS contest is Radio,
here’s how it’ll go:
CHARACTERS:
1. Steve
Jones, Frightened Boyfriend
2. Kathryn
Marsh, Angry Girlfriend
PROMPT CONFORMITY: The radio is
blasting when Steve comes home.
SYNOPSIS: Steve and Kathryn had
been dating for several months and are already living together. They’ve also
been fighting a lot recently, giving Steve ideas of breaking up with his
girlfriend. When he comes home late from work one night, Kathryn tears into him
verbally, prompting Steve to give into his designs of ending the relationship.
Kathryn bursts into tears on the couch and then transforms into a gorgon to
terrorize her lover some more. Steve tries to talk some sense into her, but
he’s too terrified to put words together. He’s also trying not to look Kathryn
in the eyes lest he be turned to stone.
FUN FACT: Kathryn Marsh is going to be the next character to
be drawn in the Dark Fantasy Warriors series.
***FACE BOOK POST OF THE DAY***
If Poison Tongue Tales
ever has its own page on TVtropes.org, these are the tropes you should probably
be aware of. All of my dogs have saggy jowls, all of my male villains are fat
and ugly, all of my muscle-bound heroes giggle like children, and all of my
characters in general have hot tempers. Okay, so maybe not ALL of these tropes
are 100% true…but enough of them are. Hehe!
