Changing My Mind

***CHANGING MY MIND***

After reading a blog entry I wrote about Backwoods Barbarian being my next project, you’re probably wondering why there’s a chapter of something called Silent Warrior on my social media accounts. Before I get into that, let me just state that changing my mind about creative endeavors is something I do quite frequently according to circumstances. Why? Because I can, that’s why. I admit that inconsistency and broken promises aren’t helping my brand a whole lot, but sometimes things can change without advance notice. If you want to know just how frequently things can change, then I shall give you a rundown of all my creative projects.

Let’s start with Backwoods Barbarian and Silent Warrior. Backwoods Barbarian was scheduled to be my next long-term project, but then my angelic beta reader Marie gave me some divine intervention in the form of a suggestion. She likes the idea of Silent Warrior because it’s something that I can identify with on a personal level: being a mentally ill introvert navigating high school. Just as a side note, I graduated in 2003. While I do incorporate personal creative fuel into my novellas often, Silent Warrior will do it in a way that’s even more personal to me. When I expressed my doubts as to whether I could flesh out the pre-write into twenty chapters, Marie cheered me on with pom-poms in hand and I finally pumped out my first chapter. She’s my own personal Jesus Christ.

That’s not to say that Backwoods Barbarian will be tossed aside so easily. I’ve contemplated working on it simultaneously with Silent Warrior, but there are pros and cons to having a two-novel schedule. The biggest pro is that I’ll have something to work on when I get writer’s block. The biggest con is that I could lose focus on one particular project, which could arguably aggravate my writer’s block instead of heal it. Nothing is set in stone just yet (in case you haven’t figured that out from how frequently I change my mind).

In addition to penning potentially two first drafts, I’m also working with my guardian angel Marie in editing the shit out of my next self-published poetry book, Lunatic Justice. Ever since we joined together in this project, I’ve had to cut a lot of poems and songs out of this collection due to the fact that they went over like a fart in church. It almost makes me wish I consulted her before publishing Necrograph since that has a lot of questionable poetry as well. Ever wonder why my parody about Texas isn’t on my social media accounts? Let’s just say that instead of going over like a fart in church, it went over like a diarrhea splatter in a graveyard. It’s never too late to cut it from Necrograph, but a small part of me still feels it could have at least SOME comedic value.

In the same way that she’s helping me put together Lunatic Justice, I’m fixing to help her edit the shit out of her upcoming novella, The Portal: Tales of Mentara. She describes it as a middle grade fantasy adventure, so that’ll be something to look forward to. Though she hasn’t picked an exact date yet, she tells me that she plans on publishing it sometime this February. But just like me, she has the right to change her mind whenever she damn well feels like it. There’ll be more news as it’s made available. Until then, I’ll have this to say: enjoy my smart-assed critiques, Marie! Some of your spice has rubbed off on me! Hehe!

Last but not least, I’ve been shopping around on Amazon for a webcam, but I haven’t made any purchases yet. I could just as easily use my digital camera, but I’m not totally trustworthy of my camera’s battery life, especially when it comes to shooting You Tube videos. Yes, you heard me right: I’m considering shooting You Tube videos as a way to expand my author platform. I’ve spent the last few minutes sorting my video play lists and sprucing up my channel page. I even have a play list in my favorites called “Critique Therapy”, which basically consists of angry videos used to psych myself up for receiving reviews and critiques. Yes, I know I’m safe in the arms of my beloved Marie, but even to this day, I get that knot in the pit of my stomach, because I’m a writer and it’s in my blood. You could have the world’s thickest skin and you’d still be terrified from time to time. Don’t kick yourself for it, because it’s as natural as breathing in and out.

So what will these You Tube videos consist of? Book reviews? Writing advice? Schizophrenia stories? Poetry readings? Short story readings? Maybe a mixture of all of those things. But before I do any of that, I have to learn how to be confident in front of the camera. People say that the best gimmick to have for You Tube videos is just to be yourself. In my private life, I have a colorful personality that involves whining in a French-Irish accent, screaming like a barbarian, talking in a cutesy ogre voice to my animals, and wearing a Snoopy T-shirt that says, “Please don’t make me do stuff.” In my public life, I’m shy and awkward as hell. I don’t intentionally make conversation with strangers and when I do I keep a lot of my colorful personality on the inside. Shooting You Tube videos is basically like having that same conversation with a faceless audience. Something has to change drastically.

I’m going to stop right here, because I can’t think of anything else off the top of my head. Wait a second, there is one more thing. Marie made me the most awesome book cover for Lunatic Justice! I’m not going to show it off on my social media accounts just yet, because it’s only a prototype and I’d rather you guys see the finished product. As of now, the cover has a Guy Fawkes mask on it with an American flag, flames, and shadows superimposed over it. The title and author font are in the style of a military stencil. Seeing that level of awesomeness makes me excited to publish this book of poetry. I can’t thank Marie enough!

We’ve got ears, say cheers! You know, I should probably use a different sign-off phrase from now on. I’ve been using that one for years and it’s from a kid’s show. While I may be a kid at heart, it doesn’t translate well into the world of professional writing. I’ll think of something.

***MOVIE QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“Willy, this has been a longtime coming. Every year you’re worse. Every year less reliable. More booze. More bullshit. More butt-fucking.”

-Marcus from “Bad Santa”-

"Warm Bodies" by Isaac Marion

BOOK TITLE: Warm Bodies
AUTHOR: Isaac Marion
YEAR: 2011
GENRE: Fiction
SUBGENRE: Zombie Romance
GRADE: Pass


Being a zombie is an endless cycle: eat flesh, fall down, wander around mindlessly, repeat. In the midst of the apocalypse, zombies are regarded as the enemy while the living are automatically revered as heroes. Little do these living humans know that zombies have their own thought processes and emotions as evidenced by those of R, the narrator of this story. As a zombie, R has no idea what the hell he’s doing half of the time nor does he have any recollection of his former life. His life regains purpose when he rescues a beautiful salvager named Julie and the two of them form an awkward, yet important relationship with one another. The more time R spends around Julie, the more human he becomes in his thoughts and emotions.

The first thing I’d like to applaud Mr. Marion on is the sheer creativity it took to write such a novel. The words zombie and romance don’t normally go together so easily, yet the author made them fit perfectly. R is a sympathetic character despite being a dingy zombie and Julie is the perfect friend for him since she doesn’t concentrate on any of his obvious flaws. Even though R only speaks a few syllables at a time, he makes more sense than most of the military officials who want to shoot zombies left and right without second thought. You know the apocalypse is on its way when a budding relationship between a zombie and a human seems more natural than going with their own kind. Breaking down barriers is the first step in healing this screwed up world. Love of all kinds will save us in the end, both in this novel and in the real world.

The second thing Isaac Marion deserves praise for is his system of rules regarding zombie behavior. They have no memory of their past lives, they walk around with a gimp, the only food they care about is human flesh (even though its tasteless and bland), they only speak a few syllables at a time, and their thoughts (though they do exist) are as limited as their speech. The author sticks to these rules all throughout the book and any surprises we do get come naturally instead of being forced. As an author, it’s good to have a set of rules your creatures can live by. Otherwise, the reader will assume the creatures can do whatever the hell they want without limits and can basically end the story anytime. If it wasn’t for the strict set of rules, we’d have flying zombies who could shoot lasers and fart lightning for all we know.

The final thing I have to touch on is the way this story is written. Because of the poetic and descriptive nature of R’s thought processes, the pacing is slightly taken down a few notches. But thanks to the present tense storytelling, it doesn’t have to be that way all throughout the book. When you’re reading “Warm Bodies”, you’re thrust into the moment and you can never leave until the author says you can. That is what I call true storytelling: showing the readers why R is a likeable person instead of shoving it down their throats. Trust me, you’re going to have enough problems with your throats after reading the painful descriptions of how necks and chests are eaten with such brutal violence. Yes, this book is romantic on so many levels, but let’s not get complacent when it comes to the fact that zombies are zombies and they crave human flesh and organs.

It should come as no surprise that this novel was made into a movie. The descriptions are picturesque and the youth of it all makes R and Julie into perfect movie stars. I don’t visit Rotten Tomatoes that often, so I wouldn’t know how well the movie has done in theaters. The book, on the other hand, no question about it: Isaac Marion is an A+ student of the literary game and he gets a passing grade for it.