Dangerous Authors

***DANGEROUS AUTHORS***

It’s not often that I express an unpopular opinion (unpopular among who?). If anybody wants to challenge the opinion I’m about to express in this blog entry, please remember to keep it civil. Turning it up to eleven will do neither of us any good; we’ve got enough of that shit as it is. Today I want to talk about “dangerous” authors. Specifically, I’d like to discuss what makes an author dangerous and why the label shouldn’t be tossed around so haphazardly. Let’s begin…

To my way of thinking, if you’re an author and your writing is so offensive that it causes violence or other kinds of mistreatment, congratulations, you’re dangerous as fuck. This seems to be the accepted definition among Book Tubers and the literature community in general. Having said that, there are degrees of this behavior and only the highest among them deserves true recognition as dangerous.

If you incite violence with your nonfiction hate speech and someone actually commits murder on your behalf, you’re partly to blame for that and congratulations, you’re dangerous. But if you’re a fiction writer who puts together a bad romantic storyline with mediocre characters and questionable morals, congratulations, you’re a shitty writer, but you’re not dangerous. Nobody died because of your shitty characters because the audience was too busy questioning why your book was popular to begin with.

It’s not enough just to read the stories and consume them. You also have to question them. Adults like to give teenagers a hard time for not questioning what they consume and sometimes they’re right, but not all the time. You can teach a kid to think critically. You can teach them to analyze characterization, plot points, and themes. And when they pick up on these lessons, they’ll look at Fifty Shades of Grey and shrug their shoulders in a “meh” kind of way. That’s right, folks. E.L. James, as terrible as she is, does not qualify as a dangerous author, because most readers can see right through her.

But what about those who don’t analyze someone like E.L. James? It’s not just limited to teenagers, either. There are adults who swear by Fifty Shades of Grey. Adults! But is it really all the fault of a crappy author who probably didn’t know what the fuck she was doing? Sure, accidents do happen and sometimes they’re catastrophic. But is she dangerous? Far from it.

This could be compared to the idea that videogames make teenagers violent. Spoiler alert: they don’t. Kids don’t shoot up schools because they saw it happen in Halo. If they really were being influenced by it, they’d teabag all of their kills and yell, “Ownage!” So if videogames can’t turn kids into monsters, why would a book be able to? What makes a fictional book more dangerous than a videogame if both can be easily questioned? Is it because authors are geniuses and videogame developers are dumb-asses? Artists in general are held in low regard by the public (cough, STEM lords, cough), so let’s put that shit to bed once and for all.

Personally, I believe a real world politician or televangelist is more dangerous to the public than a crappy author who writes mediocre love stories. As we’ve seen with the 2016 US presidential elections, abrasive nonfiction language plays a huge rule in influencing violent behavior. Nazis marching in the streets hold more power over the fearful than pre-teens who bite each other on the neck because they read Twilight. Stephanie Meyer is yet another author who probably didn’t know what the fuck she was doing.

But if you’re really worried about dangerous fictional romances permeating the marketplace, well, that’s what we have beta readers, sensitivity readers, and editors for. As long as these secondary readers don’t judge the author too harshly for unintentional offensiveness, this can truly be a productive conversation. And when productive conversations happen between authors and their betas, then more enjoyable books will be pumped out into the world. If it takes you multiple drafts to get it right (including the sensitive details), then you’ve pretty much described the life of an author. Once a book is published, however, the author is fresh out of excuses. But is he dangerous? Nope. Not in the least.

Again, these are just my opinions and you’re allowed to have a different one if you want. You probably think I’m a scumbag for giving authors like E.L. James and Stephanie Meyer a free pass and that’s okay. Maybe I’m expressing my unpopular opinion because I empathize with authors who have been piled on by the internet crowds. It’s happened to me a few times and I know how awful that makes me feel, so I try to be gentler on crappy fictional authors. If someone thought my novella Occupy Wrestling was too toxic because of the tumultuous relationship between Mitch and Debra, I’d want someone to be gentle with me as well.

But I digress. I turn the floor over to you guys now. What’s your definition of a dangerous author? Do you agree or disagree with the points I’ve made and why? Remember, winning debates isn’t about being the most outlandish. It’s about knowing why you feel the way you do and expressing your reasons in a productive way. Let’s not cancel each other over this hot topic. Let’s come together for a warm cup of tea on this cold autumn evening. I’m Garrison Kelly! Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight!

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“Muskrat, muskrat. Candlelight. Doing the town and doing it right. In the evening, it’s pretty pleasing. Muskrat Susie, Muskrat Sam do the jitterbug out in muskrat land. And they shimmy. And Sammy’s so skinny. And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed. Singing and jingling the jango. Floating like the heavens above. It looks like muskrat love. Nibbling on bacon, chewing on cheese. Sammy says to Susie, “Honey would you please be my missus?” And she says yes with her kisses. Now he’s tickling her fancy, rubbing her toes. Muzzle to muzzle, now anything goes. As they wiggle, Sue starts to giggle.”

-America singing “Muskrat Love”-

***POST-SCRIPT***

Hey, if you’re sick of mediocre romances, try listening to the song listed above for a healthy and relatable one!

Heroes and Influences

I’d like to think that there’s a huge difference between liking somebody and making somebody your own personal hero. When you like someone, you merely enjoy their aesthetically pleasing presence. When someone is your hero, you change your behavior to emulate that person. Today’s blog entry is about the latter of those two archetypes: heroes and influences. These are a few of my own personal heroes:

Susan Cain. I’ve talked about her extensively when I reviewed “Quiet”. She’s highly introverted and has no problem sticking up for other introverts in a world that doesn’t want to shut the fuck up. I’m an introvert myself, so I enjoy it when Susan Cain speaks on my behalf. Thanks, Ms. Cain. You’re awesome. And pretty too!

Pink Floyd. When I was a kid going to middle school and high school in the conservative hotbed known as Chehalis, Washington, I cherished it every time Roger Waters stuck his mouth against the mike and said, “We don’t need no education!” Come to think of it, I can still hear his voice calling out to me even after I’ve graduated from the extroverted hellhole that was college.

Daniel Bryan. Whenever I watch him on WWE TV, I always make it a point to leap to my feet as the match is going on. This past Monday night, he did something that I never thought I’d see him do: he beat three guys in one sitting in a gauntlet match. He submitted Jack Swagger, pinned Antonio Cesaro, and got Ryback disqualified (it seems hollow, but it’s still a victory over a third wrestler). There may be hope for this technical wizard after all.

Brett Battles. Even after going to college in 2009, I never really considered myself an avid bookworm, which was ironic knowing that my major was in creative writing. Instead of being a mediocre writer for the rest of my career, I picked up a book by Brett Battles called “The Cleaner” and the rest is history. I have a book blog and I’m a better writer because of that first step.

George Carlin. Not only did this guy make me laugh my ass off every time I watched him, but he spoke the truth while he did it. He was an anti-conformist who had no respect for authority whether it was from government, corporations, religion, the police, or any other power that enjoys beating people over the head with a club and telling them what to believe. When he died in 2008, I fell into a depression. That’s how much this guy meant to me.

This may not be the entire list, but it’s all I can think of at the moment. I’m open to listening to your list of heroes and influences as well. We’ve got ears, say cheers! Come to think of it, Mickey Mouse can be my hero as well!

　

***COMEDIC QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“If you think a fetus is more important than a woman, try getting a fetus to wash the shit stains out of your underwear for no pay and no pension.”

-George Carlin-