Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Hair vs. Hair

 VERSE 1

While you were assed out, lost in a dream

I shaved your head bald like my man Mr. Clean

I’ll keep your locks as a game hunting trophy

For losing to me, it’s the least that you owe me

I could’ve cut out your silver-coated tongue

Could’ve ripped out your tobacco-coated lungs

Could’ve snipped off your two-inch pecker

Kept your sorry ass from being a home-wrecker


CHORUS

It’s hair vs. hair!

Should I use a razor or rip and tear?

It’s hair vs. hair!

Your scalp is so bloody, we call it rare


VERSE 2

No steaming hot towel over your face

No shoulder massage at a gentle pace

No aftershave with the vanilla scent

The beauty salon isn’t where you went


CHORUS

It’s hair vs. hair!

Should I use a razor or rip and tear?

It’s hair vs. hair!

Your scalp is so bloody, we call it rare


VERSE 3

With your chrome dome, you could join the army

Or be under the watch of a perverted carnie

It doesn’t feel good to be the victim, does it?

Then what makes you think I’d ever love it?

You don’t owe me a single dollar or penny

Your clumps of hair will be more than plenty

I’d say we’re even if only for the time being

Look into the mirror and hate what you’re seeing


EXTENDED CHORUS

It’s hair vs. hair!

Should I use a razor or rip and tear?

It’s hair vs. hair!

Your scalp is so bloody, we call it rare

It’s beauty vs. beast!

The roles have been reversed, you see

It’s man vs. monster!

One achieves victory, the other dishonor

It’s hair vs. hair!

A Medal of Freedom can never compare

To the feeling of keeping something of yours

No more lost sleep, in fact, I’ll fucking snore!

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