VERSE 1
While you were assed out, lost in a dream
I shaved your head bald like my man Mr. Clean
I’ll keep your locks as a game hunting trophy
For losing to me, it’s the least that you owe me
I could’ve cut out your silver-coated tongue
Could’ve ripped out your tobacco-coated lungs
Could’ve snipped off your two-inch pecker
Kept your sorry ass from being a home-wrecker
CHORUS
It’s hair vs. hair!
Should I use a razor or rip and tear?
It’s hair vs. hair!
Your scalp is so bloody, we call it rare
VERSE 2
No steaming hot towel over your face
No shoulder massage at a gentle pace
No aftershave with the vanilla scent
The beauty salon isn’t where you went
CHORUS
It’s hair vs. hair!
Should I use a razor or rip and tear?
It’s hair vs. hair!
Your scalp is so bloody, we call it rare
VERSE 3
With your chrome dome, you could join the army
Or be under the watch of a perverted carnie
It doesn’t feel good to be the victim, does it?
Then what makes you think I’d ever love it?
You don’t owe me a single dollar or penny
Your clumps of hair will be more than plenty
I’d say we’re even if only for the time being
Look into the mirror and hate what you’re seeing
EXTENDED CHORUS
It’s hair vs. hair!
Should I use a razor or rip and tear?
It’s hair vs. hair!
Your scalp is so bloody, we call it rare
It’s beauty vs. beast!
The roles have been reversed, you see
It’s man vs. monster!
One achieves victory, the other dishonor
It’s hair vs. hair!
A Medal of Freedom can never compare
To the feeling of keeping something of yours
No more lost sleep, in fact, I’ll fucking snore!
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