Hair vs. Hair

 VERSE 1

While you were assed out, lost in a dream

I shaved your head bald like my man Mr. Clean

I’ll keep your locks as a game hunting trophy

For losing to me, it’s the least that you owe me

I could’ve cut out your silver-coated tongue

Could’ve ripped out your tobacco-coated lungs

Could’ve snipped off your two-inch pecker

Kept your sorry ass from being a home-wrecker

CHORUS

It’s hair vs. hair!

Should I use a razor or rip and tear?

It’s hair vs. hair!

Your scalp is so bloody, we call it rare

VERSE 2

No steaming hot towel over your face

No shoulder massage at a gentle pace

No aftershave with the vanilla scent

The beauty salon isn’t where you went

CHORUS

It’s hair vs. hair!

Should I use a razor or rip and tear?

It’s hair vs. hair!

Your scalp is so bloody, we call it rare

VERSE 3

With your chrome dome, you could join the army

Or be under the watch of a perverted carnie

It doesn’t feel good to be the victim, does it?

Then what makes you think I’d ever love it?

You don’t owe me a single dollar or penny

Your clumps of hair will be more than plenty

I’d say we’re even if only for the time being

Look into the mirror and hate what you’re seeing

EXTENDED CHORUS

It’s hair vs. hair!

Should I use a razor or rip and tear?

It’s hair vs. hair!

Your scalp is so bloody, we call it rare

It’s beauty vs. beast!

The roles have been reversed, you see

It’s man vs. monster!

One achieves victory, the other dishonor

It’s hair vs. hair!

A Medal of Freedom can never compare

To the feeling of keeping something of yours

No more lost sleep, in fact, I’ll fucking snore!

Island Zealot

A mismatch from the very beginning

There never really was any winning

Nothing in common but our biology

Brought together through technology

I could show you my CD collection

The heaviest hard rock connection

I could show you my shelves of books

Obscure titles with exciting hooks

You could pet my elderly kitty cat

Earn head bumps and purrs just like that

We could talk about power to the people

And try to pretend everything is equal

We could play with my chest of Legos

Make them fight right from the get-go

I could write you a poem or story

That’ll leave your soul freely soaring

We could go for a walk to stuff our faces

With so much food from different places

But it was never really meant to be

I’m an island zealot, but what does it mean?

It means I’m the only one in this room

Who follows my own interests to my doom

I can’t share them with you, you don’t care

You cut me down with a confused stare

All you cared about was my profile picture

Could your shallow intentions get any sicker?

You’d leave me once the beauty fades away

I’m sorry, but I didn’t come here to play

My hair and eyes are my best features, I’m told

But a handsome profile doesn’t equal pure gold

I need someone to be my very best friend

Give it to me or this conversation will end

I don’t need new hobbies or interests, honey

Don’t need a billion dollars worth of hush money

I’m good enough to be my own fucking man

I’m sorry I don’t fit into your devious plans

Medusa

VERSE 1
The eyes of Medusa turn you to stone
Chilling your skin right down to the bone
For all of your sins, it’s too late to atone
The palace gates are your brand new home

CHORUS
Snakes for hair, ice for a heart
Demonic flesh for body parts
Look at her face, it’s time to embrace
Your final fate in this human race

VERSE 2
The fangs of Medusa chew through your throat
Spilling your blood and guts in the acidic moat
The tongue of Medusa says her goodbyes
As she glares at you with those devilish eyes

CHORUS
Snakes for hair, ice for a heart
Demonic flesh for body parts
Look at her face, it’s time to embrace
Your final fate in this human race

HOOK
She’s the twenty-first century heartbreaker
She’ll lead you straight to the undertaker
Into the hands of your own damn creator
How much will it take for you to hate her?

VERSE 3
The soul of Medusa is empty and frozen
She is the one that you’ve clearly chosen
Seduced into a life of poverty and hell
You don’t have the urge to kiss and tell

EXTENDED CHORUS
Snakes for hair, ice for a heart
Demonic flesh for body parts
Look at her face, it’s time to embrace
Your final fate in this human race
The underworld gods are laughing
The hellhounds’ claws are slashing
Was any of this lust worth it in the end?
Be sure to give her your regards to send