One-Legged Death Kick

VERSE 1

Did you hear the one about us getting criticized?

Did you hear the one about us with tears in our eyes?

Did you hear the one about us kissing up to the troops?

Shooting our machineguns from on top of the roofs?

Did you hear the one about us drinking all of the beers?

Did you hear the one about us being better than our peers?

I’ve been wrong about a lot of shit, but this I know is true

We also like to suck up to the cops who wear blue

CHORUS

We went from playing in rundown bars

To being bigger than Hollywood stars

We’re the One-Legged Death Kick

If you don’t like it, you can suck my…

VERSE 2

We only like compliments, not constructive critiques

But we insist that our critics are the only ones who’re weak

The only trickle down you’re going to get

Is boots and blood right in the back of your head

We also have enough guns to supply a small militia

If you try to take them from us, we’ll go ballistic

We wave our flags like they’re meaningful symbols

If you don’t like them, we’ll help you move to a shithole

CHORUS

We went from playing in rundown bars

To being bigger than Hollywood stars

We’re the One-Legged Death Kick

If you don’t like it, you can suck my…

BRIDGE

You’re a disease, too hard to please

We’re the patriots, so full of cheese

Left, two, three, four, hoo-fucking-rah

Everybody else can go get a fucking job

CHORUS

We went from playing in rundown bars

To being bigger than Hollywood stars

We’re the One-Legged Death Kick

If you don’t like it, you can suck my…

FINAL LINES

I pledge allegiance to the flag

Of the Confederate States of America

And to the republicans who blindly follow

With jowls big enough for bullshit to swallow

Amen!