***THINGS THAT EMPOWER ME***
I had a look at my most recent blog entry about
things that scare me. Goddamn, did I sound like a sad sap. It could have been
that the month of June was a weird one for me and I was still grieving. But
July is finally here and it’s time to start over again. No going back this time
around! Instead of talking about things that scare the shit out of me, I’m
going to talk about things that empower me, thus turning a negative thought
into a positive one. Positive thinking has been at the forefront of my
happiness since December 2014, when I vacationed at Lego
Land in San Diego
***SELF-TALK***
Dr. Phil can be full of more shit than a cow pasture
sometimes, but the one thing he got right on the nose was that the words we
tell ourselves are very powerful, for better or worse. When you tell yourself
you’re too fat, too ugly, or not good enough, you believe those things like
they’re the word of god. But what if you start sending yourself positive
messages instead of negative ones? Let’s say I, for instance, repeat the mental
phrase, “If you step outside your comfort zone, good things will happen.” Or
what if I just imagine a good-looking version of myself with a skinny body and
a sexy haircut like the one I had in my senior year of high school? Or what if
I tell myself that I can afford anything I want to buy? What if I tell myself that
the world loves me? You say these things often enough, you believe them and you
become a happier person because of it. You know what? I’m going to have these
thoughts more often, especially the one where I look like a sexy stud with a
sweet ass haircut….not an ass haircut, that’s different. Hehe!
***MUSIC***
Some people call it “just noise”, but to me it’s more
intoxicating and enchanting than the world’s most powerful drug. I remember
being a little kid and listening to my dad’s CD’s from The Police, Pink Floyd,
The Moody Blues, and Toto. I loved my Pink Floyd CD’s so much that I spent the
entire late 90’s listening to the shit out of them. Then the 2000’s came along
and I started listening to alternative metal like Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park,
Three Days Grace, Korn, and Papa Roach. My musical library expanded tenfold
since then and I wouldn’t trade any of those bands for the world. My current
favorite bands include Soulfly, Nightwish, Five Finger Death Punch, Pantera,
and Halestorm among others. I love music so much that I refer to concerts as
“one-day vacations” and “pilgrimages” rather than “just shows”. I went to a
Roger Waters concert in 2000 and my dad referred to at as “taking us to heaven
to see god”. There will be many more concerts in the future, which means more
opportunities to get high on my drug of choice…which if you haven’t figured it
out already is music.
***HAVING AN AUDIENCE***
I know I said in my “Things That Scare Me” blog that being
in front of large amounts of people makes me want to swallow Xanax. But make no
mistake about it: the fact that there are people out there who are willing to
listen to me is a blessing. Whether you’re complimenting my writing or
critiquing it (hopefully not trolling), I’m grateful to have you as a member of
my audience. I know writing is supposed to be a business, but you can’t put a
price tag on having someone’s attention and never letting go. Whether writing
becomes my main source of income or not is irrelevant, because some things in
life are more important than money, like love, friendship, good advice,
creative fuel, and the power of a good story or poem. To everybody who has
supported me throughout my career, thank you so very much. To everybody that
doubts me, your creative fuel is every bit as welcome. There’s another thing to
be positive about: creative fuel can literally come from anywhere, whether it’s
a news story, a personal experience, or the pencil sharpener sitting on my
desk, which I once used in a toy photograph of Razor Ramon doing elevated
pushups.
***SPENDING MONEY ON OTHER PEOPLE***
This goes hand-in-hand with my self-talk about being able to
afford anything I want. When you believe you’re good with money, you can
probably afford to shell out some of it on other people. That’s why I buy
birthday and Christmas gifts months in advance for the ones I love: because I
can and love them…that, and buying gifts ahead of schedule is a good way to
avoid the stress of things like Black Friday. I also donate some of my money to
various charities whether it’s the ASPCA, Extra Life, or St.
Jude’s Children’s Hospital. Spending money on other people, whether in a big or
small way, will actually make you happy in the long-term, because you’re
strengthening your relationship with that person. You don’t have to clean out
your life savings just to make one person happy, but having that kind of
confidence with your money and that kind of love for the one you’re spending it
on, that says a lot about your mindset.
***CREATIVITY***
To paraphrase Cenk Uygur from The Young Turks, OF COURSE
this was going to be a list item! Writing stories and poems gives me a sense of
purpose in an economy where English majors and Millennials are frowned upon. I
don’t write for the money or the fame. I do it because I fucking love it. I do
it because it’s hard work that I can be proud of. I do it because having a
legacy is important to me. Do I have lazy days occasionally? All the time. But
lazy days are temporary while legacies are forever. I realize that not
everybody will like what I have to write, but that’s the nature of
subjectivity. There are people who love the shit out of Fifty Shades of Grey
and despise Winnie the Pooh. Yes! People actually hate Winnie the Pooh! But if
I denied my audience the right to hate my works, I’d come off as a dictator
rather than a role model for individuality. Life doesn’t end because of a bad
review, or even ten of them. Your career isn’t over until you say it is.
***CONCLUSION***
Goddamn, I’m taking a long time to write this blog entry.
Then again, it’s nearly one o’clock in the morning and I spent most of my day
in a mental fog. If you can’t concentrate, you can’t write…at least not very
well. Here’s hoping my messages of empowerment are well-received by you, my
lovely audience. If not, well, at least I tried. I’m Garrison Kelly! Even when
you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain!
***DOMESTIC DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***
(In the summer of 2017…)
JAMES: Hey Garrison, what was in the Amazon package you got
in the mail today?
GARRISON: Duct tape and a CD.
JAMES: Those two things do not go together! What are you
going to do, bind and gag one of your Face Book women and torture her with your
music?
GARRISON: That’s not what the duct tape is for!
JAMES: Uh-huh. Sure! The only thing more disturbing than
that was that it came in a long and narrow package. I thought it was another
one of your corporate pop metal posters.
GARRISON: Goddamn it, James!
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