The Perks of Being a Zombie

VERSE 1

I once had wild dreams of being a creator

But everyone else was a heel commentator

“Fix computers, scoop ice cream into cones

Do it all for your wallet and future home”

But I resisted every obnoxious voice

The ones in my head gave me no choice

“Listen and conform to everything we say

If you don’t want bleed for the rest of the day”

CHORUS

“Move it! Move it! Get your fat ass in gear!

Let’s go! Let’s go! Before I kick you in the rear!

Faster! Faster! Listen to what’s in your ear!

The perks of being a zombie are always clear!”

VERSE 2

I packed up and went to the indoctrination center

The closest place to hell that I could ever enter

I wouldn’t know it from the numbness in my brain

When it comes to pain, it all feels the same

Psychotic behavior was disguised as laziness

Torment and anguish was disguised as craziness

I never felt so naked in all of my goddamn life

The suicidal tendencies always felt so right

CHORUS

“Move it! Move it! Get your fat ass in gear!

Let’s go! Let’s go! Before I kick you in the rear!

Faster! Faster! Listen to what’s in your ear!

The perks of being a zombie are always clear!”

VERSE 3

I had a Broken Universe before it became cool

My pillow was always soaked in undead drool

My dreams were grayer than the winter shadow

Doing my homework was always such a battle

One day in psychology class, I found the name

Of the force inside me that brought me shame

A condition that I thought was traumatic cinema

Name of my disease was paranoid schizophrenia

ALTERNATIVE CHORUS

I am the master! You are the slave!

Nobody tells me how to behave!

It took a whole decade, but my eyes are wide!

I don’t have to run, I don’t have to hide!

My nights are cozy, my dreams are sweeter!

I’m a positive force and a negative eater!

You call me crazy and I give my thanks!

I’m the captain of the ship, I’m pulling rank!