Blood Candy

VERSE 1

Orgasmic flavor, better than Life Savers

Better than Reese’s chocolate-covered greases

Better than Snickers, blood candy for dinner

The delicacy of choice for the natural born sinner

Just one bite and you’ll be hooked forever

Violence and lust both blended together

A romantic marriage never felt so tender

Get ready for a motherfucking acid-trip bender

CHORUS

Blood candy! Yum, yum, yum! X4

VERSE 2

Swallow it down like a bottle of Coca-Cola

Let it wash over your nerves like ice cold lust

Imagine a world where you’re always relaxed

Never have to worry about being dead or taxed

This is called nirvana, this is called a trance

This is called a red hot fire-belly soul dance

Forget the bills, come and get your thrills

Forget the outside world and all that it kills

CHORUS

Blood candy! Yum, yum, yum! X4

HOOK

Halloween can’t come soon enough

Some like their lust a little bit rough

Munch on the candy, slap on the cuffs

Show them you’re bold and you’re hot stuff

VERSE 3

Your wildest dreams are rolling the credits

The cinematography will see no final edits

Wake up in the morning with the heaviest eyes

Come down from your Rocky Mountain highs

Your wettest dreams were nothing but lies

Blood is dripping between your aching thighs

Until next time, my friend with special benefits

Try to enjoy the daylight’s loving sentiments

EXTENDED CHORUS

Blood candy! Yum, yum, yum!

March to the beat of your own drum!

Blood candy! Tasty and sweet!

It’s what you want and what you need!

Round two is coming, you wait and see!

You can’t get enough, it’s a demon called greed!

The final round is kicking down your door!

You’re forever a slave, a blood candy whore!

Fed Up

MOVIE TITLE: Fed Up

DIRECTOR: Katie Couric

YEAR: 2014

GENRE: Documentary

RATING: PG-13 for language and politics

GRADE: Mixed

Fed Up explores the many facets of American food culture from our obsession with sugar and unhealthy chemicals to constant advertising to the end result of it all: obesity. Processed foods have been portrayed as being deadlier than drugs or alcohol since more people die from eating disorders than from lung cancer.

The eating habits of three different families across the country have been monitored by the Fed Up crew and they all are suffering the emotional and physical effects of obesity. There seems to be no immediate hope for this epidemic since politicians, both democrat and republican, are constantly being bought off by food lobbyists. Will we ever break our obsession or will future generations grow up to die at a young age?

Just like with any movie that I give a mixed grade to, there are positives and negatives that need to be explored. The positives are no-brainers. The message of the movie is well-intentioned: be good to your body and your body will be good to you in return. We will eventually come to a point in our lives when we have to pay closer attention to taking care of ourselves.

The message is further spread with the extensive research the writers of this movie did. No stone is left unturned from what chemicals different foods have to which politicians represent which food corporations. The arguments made are so convincing that the message is easy to believe no matter what the audience members’ core beliefs are. Kudos to the Fed Up crew for putting in the hard work and getting things done.

But just like with any ideology or political message, there’s a difference between sharing your views and preaching them with almost religious zeal. The big negative this documentary has falls under the latter of those two extremes. While I do commend them for acknowledging that food addiction is a real thing and not just an excuse for weakness, it still feels like they’re telling me that the next bite of Taco Bell or McDonald’s food I take will be my last.

We all have our guilty pleasures and there are times when it’s best just to respect those pleasures. Eating fresh fruit and vegetables all the time might sound like a healthy idea, but it gets boring after a while. And when you get bored with your food choices, you get depressed. And when you get depressed, you reach for that sizzling steak Quesarito and go back to the cycle of addiction.

With the feeling of impending doom on the horizon, Fed Up feels more like a sermon and less like a diet plan. If I wanted to be showered in religious zeal, I would watch God Loves Uganda. But I didn’t. I watched Fed Up because I wanted hope. I didn’t get any by the time it was all over. In fact, I felt worse about my body than I did before.

In the end, what I believe will save is all won’t be one documentary, one diet and exercise plan, or one influential voice. We need a network of different ideas and support systems. A problem shared is a problem halved. I just wish the Fed Up crew would share my problem instead of making me feel guilty for having one.