"In the Presence of Knowing" by Valarie Savage Kinney

BOOK TITLE: In the Presence of Knowing

AUTHOR: Valarie Savage Kinney

YEAR: 2017

GENRE: Fiction

SUBGENRE: Urban Fantasy

GRADE: Extra Credit

When her alcoholic ex-boyfriend Vince beats her while she’s pregnant, Keisha runs away from home and into the safety of her best friend Layla. Layla helps her get a job at the Windy Springs renaissance faire, a seasonal home for trolls, faeries, gnomes, witches, and other magical creatures that oftentimes blur the lines between fantasy and reality. During one of her treks into the forest, Keisha meets a troll named Gibble (real name Rogan O’Connor) and the two of them form a protective and healthy friendship with each other, something Keisha needed in her life ever since splitting from Vince. Speak of the devil, he’s still out there somewhere and could show up any minute to finish the beating he started at the beginning of the story.

One of the main reasons why I decided to give this book a full five stars was because of how much I loved the relationship between Keisha and Rogan. Their friendship development moves along too fast for some people’s comfort, but none of it feels forced or hokey. These two are perfect for each other. They use their demons to become better people instead of bitter and angry like Vince. Whenever they do get into an argument or two, it makes them stronger and better able to face adversity. They share secrets with each other not out of obligation, but because it’s what they genuinely want. If two people are this good for each other, who cares how fast everything moves? If anything, the readers will want them to get together sooner. While Keisha doesn’t have the martial arts know-how that Rogan does, I still consider these two to be equals in other areas of their relationship. Those are the best kinds of couples, the ones whose love you can believe in.

While Keisha can fend off her demons long enough to be in a healthy relationship with Rogan, she still has those demons in the first place and it shows in her thought processes. Her self-punishment is incredibly realistic of someone who’s been in a previously abusive relationship. Her anxiety and possible PTSD are written in a way that makes me believe the author had some kind of experience with these mental illnesses. Her constant worry over her child is nerve-wracking to read about at times, but it goes to show how much of a loving mother she’ll eventually become when the baby is born. Keisha is a top example of a flawed character whose weaknesses don’t ruin the character development or make them unlikable. Other authors could learn something from this. I know I did.

And then we have the renaissance faire, which aside from the evil witch Cordelia sounds like a fun place to spend a day or even work at. Whether it’s the comedic and lighthearted aura of the trolls and gnomes, the eccentricity of the pirates, the class and elegance of the faeries, or anything else that has to do with the fantasy genre, I’m giving my due props to the author for her undying creativity and passion for putting together this world. People come to medieval conventions to get away from the harsh realities of real life. They can be anything they want and be welcomed with open arms. The sense of community among the workers along with their hatred for mediocre conformity makes this tale of escaping abuse that much easier to digest. These people aren’t just coworkers or friends to Keisha. They’re family. They protect each other physically and creatively. That’s a healthy family dynamic everyone deserves to have.

This was a short and easy piece of reading made easier by Valarie Savage Kinney’s undying creativity and passion for what she writes about. She preaches anti-conformity online quite often and practices it to the fullest extent. We all deserve a chance to expand our imaginations beyond the ordinary and Valarie makes us feel safe enough to do that through her writing and online presence. An extra credit grade goes to this wonderful book, the first in a series and boy, what a beginning it was! She’ll no doubt carry this momentum into the rest of the Windy Springs novels.

"Cry Standing Up" by Valarie Savage Kinney

BOOK TITLE: Cry Standing Up

AUTHOR: Valarie Savage Kinney

YEAR: 2019

GENRE: Nonfiction

SUBGENRE: Grief Memoir

GRADE: Extra Credit

Losing family members so soon is never easy to deal with, whether it’s the actual deaths or the anxiety and depression that come with it. In this grief memoir, you will feel every emotion Valarie Savage Kinney feels and more often than not it will hurt worse than a gunshot to the heart. So many times people have told her “get over it” or “not dwell on the past”. Ridding oneself of mental illnesses isn’t as simple as everyone makes it out to be. It’s a beast that eats the victim alive from the inside. The author does a phenomenal job of describing the horrific effects of her mental illnesses, so much so that she’s easy to relate to. Mental illness is a universal problem that needs addressing. Don’t run from your demons. Don’t destroy yourself in an effort to numb the pain. Face these hideous monsters head on. Cry standing up.

The descriptions Valarie uses to describe her psychological attacks are incredibly vivid, whether it’s anxiety making her heart thump at a million miles an hour or depression making her want to stay in bed all day and do absolutely nothing. Sometimes she cries for no reason at all. Sometimes her body feels as though she’s pinned underneath a vehicle. Sometimes she has nightmares that are so bloody and terrifying that they completely undermine her own violent tendencies when writing scenes from her fantasy novels. Mental illness hurts in every way. It always will. It’s what you do about that pain that determines your quality of life. Staying positive all the time is virtually impossible, but taking comfort in the little victories in life can make a world of difference. That’s what her memoir means to me and should mean to everyone who reads it.

One of the many things about this book that hit me the hardest was Valarie’s inability to understand plots of novels she reads or television shows she watches. As a sufferer of mental illness myself, I’ve had this happen to me on many occasions. It’s frustrating, especially to someone whose main occupation revolves around being creative and coming up with their own stories. You want so much to be able to get your comprehension abilities back, but like country singer Luke Bryan said in an interview, you won’t be 100% anymore, so hopefully you’ll at least get to 75%. In the end, losing pieces of yourself is nothing to be ashamed of. It took a long time for Valarie to learn this, but it’s a lesson she can safely pass onto her readers whether they’re struggling or are about to struggle.

Another piece of wisdom I enjoyed from this book is giving yourself permission to rest. It doesn’t mean bypassing your responsibilities completely. It just means taking these breaks when you can. Enjoy the silence. Enjoy the little moments in life. If you have to take a nap, go for it. If all you want to do is sit and stare, by all means, go for it. Even if you work a nine-to-five job and have other duties on top of that, you can only stretch yourself so thin before you completely burst at the seams. You don’t owe anybody an explanation or an apology for wanting some downtime. Relax every once and a while. Be good to yourself. When you get back on your feet again, your body and mind will thank you for the moments of respite.

Deaths of loved ones were a common occurrence throughout this memoir. It didn’t seem like the universe was going to give Valarie a break in between deaths, panic attacks, and moments of extreme sadness and exhaustion. If you don’t relate to loss already, you will as life goes on. Nothing lasts forever. Death is another part of life. It’s sad that we have to prepare ourselves for when that day finally comes, but Valarie’s experiences will serve as a reminder that sunny days will come again. If you must cry, cry standing up. The dark valleys you have will be worth it if you know there’s a valley of light waiting for you at the end of it all. An extra credit grade goes to this emotional and raw piece of nonfiction.