Unrequited Love Stereotype, or "That Guy"

***UNREQUITED LOVE STEREOTYPE, OR “THAT GUY”***

In all my time of surfing the internet, I never knew the Urban Dictionary could actually be educational on some occasions. I thought it was just a safe haven for swear words and sex terms like “See You Next Tuesday”, or the clearly made-up “Quaker Cum Meal” (if you don’t know what that is, I’m not going to tell you). The other day when I surfed the Urban Dictionary, I typed in the words “Unrequited Love” and the results were mildly depressing. It’s basically when you love someone (or have a crush on them) and they don’t love you back (either because they don’t know you or don’t give a damn). Every celebrity crush in the world is an example of unrequited love. Every damn one.

When I was going to Western Washington University from 2007 to 2009, my source of unrequited love was Tarja Turunen, the former lead singer from Nightwish. I set the bar pretty high for myself and was let down when my stubby arms couldn’t reach it. So naturally I assumed every local crush was just as high on the bar as well. I wrote tons of essays and poems dedicating my love to this opera metal diva, but I tiptoed around the language used to write them because I didn’t want to be...that guy. I didn’t want to be the stereotypical 300 pounder with a Princess Leia poster on my wall, a Tifa Lockhart photo for a desktop screen, and a sorrowful attitude towards romance. I tried hard not to be an embarrassing version of…that guy. So I kept it all on the inside most of the time.

You know what happens to people who are…that guy, right? Well, the minute they bear their feelings to the world, some yo-yo will sit them down, pat them condescendingly on the shoulder, and give them a familiar speech we’ve all grown tired of. “You know, Garrison…Japan had an earthquake, Haiti had an earthquake, there’s mass starvation in Africa, there’re wars going on in Afghanistan and Iraq…and you’re crying over chicks?” Granted, some of those travesties are dated in today’s world, but you’ve heard that speech, I’m sure. Folks, not one time has anybody thought of worldwide earthquakes and immediately felt like a million bucks about their own problems. The author of “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” makes this clear in his novel (read it, damn you!).

If someone who has been labeled…that guy gets any kind of reward for his awkward and depressing behavior, it will be because of sympathy and no other reason. I didn’t want that for myself either. If I ever decide to date again, I want it to be with someone who genuinely thinks I’m a cool person, not because they feel like they have to. When a girl feels like she has to, it’s not a sign of a healthy relationship. Nobody is obligated to date anybody for any reason, and that’s the way it should be, quite honestly.

Even now, I don’t talk about unrequited love these days because I’m still fighting the urge to be…that guy. I used to talk about it a lot whenever I’d blog about dreams I’ve had or music I’ve listened to. Not anymore. It got old after a while and I had successfully become…that guy. So what happens to people when they refuse to become…that guy and they still don’t have it in them to approach their love interests? They become indifferent to romance. Every once a while the urge will come back, but ultimately, indifference takes over.

If you’d like to know how hard someone has to work to not be…that guy, do me a favor. Get on your computer, smart phone, or smart TV and type in Netflix (or some other movie streaming service). In the search engine, type in the movie “Obselidia” and you’ll find out all about your precious unrequited love. I did a review on this movie once, but I didn’t give away any spoilers. Well, just for this journal, I’m going to spoil the movie for you, so if you enjoy surprises, skip this part of the blog.

George is an introverted librarian who has tasked himself with keeping an encyclopedia of all things obsolete (hence the title “Obselidia”). He even believes romance is obsolete as evidenced by the way he turns down a date from a customer at the library. He’s lonely, but doesn’t want to admit it. And then as part of his research for his encyclopedia, he meets a projectionist named Sophie, who is all bubbles and smiles when it comes to the world. The two of them go on a trip to Death Valley together and get an earful from an environmentalist who believes climate change will destroy our world sooner than later (it actually might, I’m not doubting him).

George is ready to include the whole planet in his encyclopedia, but spending more and more time with Sophie brings the positivity out of him that he needed. They get back to the city and George finally musters up the courage to bring Sophie flowers and confess his love. But when he arrives at her apartment, some guy in the background says, “Who is it, sweetie?” George barricades himself in his own home and refuses to answer Sophie’s pleading messages on his machine. In this one moment of unrequited love, Sophie has managed to squeeze George’s eyeballs dry of tears like she was making the most sorrowful pitcher of orange juice.

Unrequited love is basically a catch 22. If you don’t talk about it, you get hurt. If you do talk about it, you get hurt. Nobody would have blamed George if he sheltered himself forever, yet he manages to keep the positive attitude he gained from his experiences with Sophie. It makes perfect sense as a movie ending, but brain chemistry doesn’t always work like that in the real world. And that’s really all romance is: brain chemistry with an addictive reward system. When you get one kiss from a pretty girl, you want more. And when you don’t get more, you get withdrawal. And when you get withdrawal, you try your hardest not to become…that guy.

***WEEKLY SHORT STORY CONTESTS AND COMPANY***

I’ve been waiting forever for an excuse to write the following short story. Now that the prompt is “butterfly”, I’ve got to strike while the iron is hot. This story is a combination of the WWE Divas Revolution in 2015 and life with cats that I currently have or have taken care of in the past. My mom calls our cats divas all the time (because of how often they want attention), so this short story will be called “Divas”. It goes like this:

CHARACTERS:

1. Piper, Divas Champion
2. Tori, Leader of the Supermodel Kitties
3. Stitches, Enforcer for the Supermodel Kitties
4. Calypso, Rookie from the Supermodel Kitties
5. Willem, Schipperke Referee

PROMPT CONFORMITY: The Divas Championship belt has a butterfly design on it.

SYNOPSIS: In a pro-wrestling organization where the female wrestlers are humanoid cats, Piper is defending her Divas Championship against Tori at a pay-per-view main event. Piper has held the championship for over a year on the platform of making her dreams come true and being a role model for young cats. During their rivalry, the Supermodel Kitties have made Piper’s life miserable by calling her “Piper-Diaper” and other childish middle school names. With Stitches and Calypso to serve as ringside distractions, Piper could very well lose her championship to Tori and disprove the idea that all dreams come true.

***FACE BOOK POST OF THE DAY***

(Here’s an interaction I’d like to see happen on WWE Monday Night Raw.)

MICHAEL COLE: And here comes Bayley for her one-on-one match!

COREY GRAVES: Keep your hands above the table, Saxton!

BYRON SAXTON: That’s not PG.

"Benevolent Slayers" by Marie Krepps

BOOK TITLE: Benevolent Slayers

AUTHOR: Marie Krepps

YEAR: 2017

GENRE: Fiction

SUBGENRE: Post-Apocalyptic Fantasy

GRADE: Pass

In a necrocosm swarming with evil beasts, it is the duty of the Benevolent Slayers to extinguish these threats and bring peace to the world. Although the muscular warrior Brock the Rock and the magic-wielding druid Saber share the same job title, they work together only out of necessity and not because they want to. The more adventures they go on together, the more they realize just how much they need each other. They’ve spent years closing their hearts off to everyone around them due to their painful pasts. Now that they have an ultra-powerful vampire to hunt down, freezing each other out is no longer an option. It’s kill or be killed in this post-apocalyptic nightmare and nobody does a better job of killing than Brock and Saber.

The themes of dead emotions and social barriers are what really got me into this story. I personally have struggled with shyness and keeping everyone out all of my life, which is why my social circle is limited to only a few people. In this story you have two badass warriors, Brock and Saber, who don’t want to be vulnerable around each other for fear of getting hurt worse than when they actually go into battle. But the more time they spend around each other, the more they begin to open up about their traumas. Reading about a character in a book is like having a relationship in real life: you can only care about somebody if you have a reason to do so. The more you know about a person, the less likely you are to judge them. Marie Krepps doesn’t just make you care about her two main characters; she holds your emotions hostage and squeezes those tears from your eyes like grapefruit juice.

Of course, where would a fantasy story be if there wasn’t at least a modicum of delicious violence? Here, you get more than a modicum. There’s no rest for the weary in this world of villainous demons. If you’re caught slipping, you’ll be a bloody mess before you can say…anything at all. Normally readers like to cheer for the average joe because that’s who they can relate the most to. This world weeds out the average joes in a big hurry whether it’s with a plague or getting ripped apart by savage warriors. Yes, the two main characters are battle-tested ass-kickers, but they’re far from Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus. They’re real people with a lifetime full of intense emotions (which they keep hidden from each other throughout the novel, of course). Not only will you root for them to get their ducks in a row, but you will also cheer like a stadium full of wild fans once they win their physical battles. And boy, do they have plenty of those!

You also have to admire the world-building Marie Krepps has done with her novel. You would think a post-apocalyptic world would be easy breezy lemon squeezy since it’s basically just one big rotten wasteland. Uh-uh! These towns vary wildly from each other whether it’s the ability to relax, the urgency of their problems, the hostility or friendliness of the citizens, and the political structure of those in charge. Even the outside world has a lot of uniqueness to it, mostly because of the strange creatures and bipolar weather systems that pass through. Somewhere near the beginning of the novel, Marie Krepps made room for a tanuki, which is a Japanese creature that’s a mix between a raccoon and a dog. Whenever I kept reading about him, I just wanted to rub his belly and play with his ears. Aww! Every place the Slayers go and every person or creature they meet is as colorful and vivid as a reader would want them to be, if not more so.

This novel is more than just an ass-kicking fairytale. It’s every bit as emotional and heartbreaking as it is violent and colorful. You have no choice but to actually give a damn about these characters and if you don’t, you probably don’t have a pulse. If you don’t have a pulse, you can always count on Saber to use her healing magic on you. I won’t say when she uses it or what the circumstances are, but when she does, your heart will explode with passion like an active volcano. This A+ author deserves yet another passing grade for her beautiful story!